Bobby Bummhole

Let’s go boisss

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Bro I just signed like 3 days ago to be the starter...

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Maybe, guess we’ll see

+4 fart face

Player Information Username: Bobby Bummhole Player Name: Toppi Attakallio Recruited From: Other (Recreate) Age: 17 Position: G Height: 70 in. Weight: 160 lbs. Birthplace: Finland Player Page @VHLM GM

Wow I got traded for nothing, sure do feel valuable

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Went undrafted, currently a goalie who will be much more active in the future

Colin Conklin Wins-4 Starts 53-5TPE Sub 900 save 2tpe 10Tpe Pls

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Yeah “It sucks” These were the words of Houston bulls goalie mike smith when he talked to ESPN’s David Ruddy. Ruddy:Another tough loss, how does that one feel? Conklin: It sucks, ya know nobody likes losing, I still haven't won, and we’re halfway through the season. I feel like I haven't played terrible, but just not good eneough every single game. Ruddy:You’ve become kind of a fan favourite here in Houston. How does that feel? Conklin:Great. I love the city, the fans are great and the management for the team is fantastic. I know we really suck now but this is a rebuilding year and next year Is gonna be our shot, and I wanna be a part of that. Ruddy:You have certainly gained starting reins over Nicklaus Becker. How does that feel as an older goalie and underdog. Conklin:Amazing I came here in a buissness conference for charity and played goalie and Jables liked me and thought I still had something left in the tank. I guess I did. His stats aren’t exactly stellar with a 0-24-2 record with a 8.56 save percent but a 5.17 Goals against average. He’s been stellar and in some games and looks phenomenal, keeling the bulls into it late. Unfortunately he doesn't have a win yet, but we know the city of Houston is rooting for him.

Born in 1986 in a remote Ontario town Colin Conklin always adored the game of hockey. He started playing street hockey with friends and watching every hockey game he could. He started off as a forward when his dad signed him up, but his skating was never really exceptional, he struggled greatly, Not scoring for most of the year in his first year of Timbit hockey at the age of 7. The following 2 years were difficult for him as he struggled to find his love for the game again, He became bored of hockey and began playing soccer and stopped playing hockey. On a really sunny summer day a few of his friends were playing street hockey and invited him, he joined them but one of his friends, his teams goalie fell and scrapped his knee pretty bad so he went home. Without a goalie his friends decided to go home but Colin said he’d try it out since buddy left his equipment. He loved it. The adrenaline rushes, the shots flying towards him, he loved it all, and that night he told his dad he wanted to play hockey again, but this time in net. They went down to the arena and met with the manager who was a goalie himself and had even played some AHL Games. He gave Colin some older pads and his dad bought him a plain white helmet and promised to paint it for him for his birthday. He got flames and his new teams logo on his and in his first practice on the team, he stopped everything. That minor hockey team did pretty well and Colin cemented himself as the starting goalie and played really good hockey, keeping his team in games. CHL He played a year of midget in the Toronto minor Hockey System and ten was subsequently drafted by the Calgary Hitmen of the WHL. He didn’t play his first season in the WHL, he spent another year in the minors, Improving his game and won the championship and was named MVP Goaltender for the tournament. The following season, with both goalies being overagers, Colin was brought in as the 1B Goalie but quickly took the starting reigns and ran with it. Putting up a .932 Save percentage and 1.96 goals against average. The hitmen were eliminated in the First round that year, but the following year, Colon continued to dominate the scene, putting up a .946 Save percentage and a 1.87 GAA. The hitmen went on to win a championship, And Make the memorial cup where they were swept and Colin allowed 15 goals in 4 games. Colin was passed over in the draft and Played the next season with a .942 And 1.99, and his season finished in the second round. Being too old for the CHL Colin went on to play university hockey, he played 2 Seasons with studying business the the Calgary University. In those 2 seasons his addiction the game game slipped as he focused on his future, he stilled watched the game, but he found it began harder to find time to play and practice. After graduating he signed a 1 year contract with a ECHL team, played 44 games with a 32-9-3 Record before a leg break ruined his season, Even after s tremendous season his contract wasn’t renewed and Colin’s career looked to be over as he went into the real estate Buissness. Professional He played in semi pro leagues on the side as well as beer league teams, always being one of the best goalies, his senses and quik hands never truly leaving him. His employer, a real estate company began doing a fundraiser to raise money for charity, a hockey game with former Professional players, Being a former WHL Player Colin was chosen as one of the representatives of the company to play in the game, which would take place in Houston. He trained for weeks, hoping to impress his boss and get lots of money for the event, Then he flew down and took part in the charity tournament. He played extremely well, Winning all 4 of his games, 3 on a shutout. The Assistant GM Of the Houston Bulls @Jables Was watching the tournament and decide to meet with Colin, being so impress he offers him a job as a Emergency backup to Nicklaus becker. He graciously accepted, quit his job, signed a contact and prepared for his Opportunity. Before his first game as Backup, Becker Claimed he felt sick, and that’s when Colin was called upon to start. His first game didn’t go as planned as he was pulled after being lit up by The Marlins. The following game he improved and since then he has shown slow improvements and become the team bonified starter. Despite Being 33 year olds, Colin has shown that some things just get better with age. (Colin makes a save for the bulls)

Aged rookie Colin Conklin started his first game last night against the San Diego Marlins. The 33 Year old beer league veteran allowed his first goals just 18 seconds in. Now it wasn’t his fault, Marlins rookie Alex Pearson Tipped a shot from Lincoln Tate and it went just over his glove. Less then 2 minutes later though the marlins scored again. Conklin looked shaky throughout the first, The Marlins missed a lot of shots, luckily because if they didn’t the score would likely be a lot worse. As the period went on The Marlins went up 4-0 on goals from Marleau and Pearson. It looked like the Bulls were Mounting a comeback with a couple quik goals going into the second from Tanner Andrew and rookie Jesse Nyman, but it didn’t last long. Tate scores a goal right through the five hole, a goal He has to save. And with that Conklin gets pulled. (Conklin angrily smashes his stick after being pulled in his first career game) After the game when asked about his preformance, Conklin said “I sucked, I know I sucked. I don’t see why you even ask, you guys watched the f—-ing game, I stunk. I gotta be better to play with these kids”

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No it’s pronounced butt-hole you Butthole

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Player Information Username: Bobby Bummhole Player Name: Colin Conklin Recruited From: YouTube Age: 33 Position: G Height: 75 in. Weight: 189 lbs. Birthplace: British Indian Ocean Territory Player Page @VHLM GM

Nobody has given me a contract

How do I job a team

Born to Bryanna and Byron Butthole, bobby butthole had a lot of challenges when he was growing up, especially with a name like bobby butthole. He grew up in a cold barren wasteland of Armenia and his family was very poor, until one day will digging a grave for the family pig his father struck oil, and they moved to the United States. When he moved to a new school He was teased tremendously as a kid and struggled to fit in, he used this pent up aggression and determination to become a very successful athlete at a very young age. when he was in elementary school he was playing several organized sports, hockey, soccer, gymnastics, football, badminton and excelled at all of them, but hockey was the one that he truly fell in love with. He would hear the opposing team laughing at the word butthole on the back of his jersey and he could deliver a hard hip check when they weren’t paying attention. His defensive game was very impressive to scouts and he even managed to rack up some points. This led him to be offered a scholarship to Harvard to play hockey, he graciously accepted. In his first year he had 89 hits in 33 games. A lot 15 points and a +19 logging impressive numbers for a freshman. His game only improved through the year and by the end he was looking like a seasoned veteran on the backend for a talented Harvard team. By this time his height and size were insane, he was 6’7 and almost 220. When asked about how his son became to get so tall, his father said “well I’m 5’5 and my wife is 5’2...Our old neighbor was like 7’4 though...”. He became very well known in his home country because when Armenia managed to qualify for the world juniors as the promotion team, he was selected to play and absolutely dominated. His size and strength struck fear into opponents who at times looked like they were fleeing the Armenian giant. Armenia was till crushed 0-6 in the tournament with a goal difference of 3-29. 2 of the goals were scored by Bobby. The other was well known Armenian janitor/Hockey player Maurice Schklowitz. After the tournament he returned to college hockey and continued to dominate, his offensive game improving and in a skills competition, he actually broke chara’s record for hardest slap shot ever. He was named captain and led Harvard on a run to the frozen 4 that year, picking up a hat trick against Michigan in game but but were ultimately eliminated. While he has always been a talented hockey player..He’s never actually won anything, no team awards, no personal awards, the closest thing to that was being named captain of the Harvard team. All the teams he’s played for have never won a championship, so wether or not that says something about him we’re not sure, he might just be a butthole. He says his number one goals right now in the world in win something, even a couple bucks on a scratch ticket, but something. After an enraged Bobby ripped 2 lockers out of the lockerroom and threw them in the ice after a 5-1 loss he was suspended from Harvard, he began to look at his options for hockey, but then the Minnesota storm Of the VHLM made contact and offered him a contract. He graciously accepted and flew to Minnesota to meeting his new teammates with hopes, that they dont laugh when his name is called.

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Player Information Username: Bobby Bummhole Player Name: Bobby Butthole Recruited From: YouTube Age: 18 Position: D Height: 80 in. Weight: 240 lbs. Birthplace: Armenia Player Page @VHLM GM