Mongoose87

1. Of course m the VHLM changes fast, and if our draft class is diligent, we can do great things. 2. To explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before. 3. Pittsburgh. 4. Because it is the perfect blend of protein, carb and vegetable. 5. No, I can't control where I get drafted, so why worry? 6. I'm pretty low maintenance, keep doing what you're doing.

Captain's log, stardate 20211121 Through something known as the "VHLM Dispersal Draft," I have been assigned to a team known as the "Mississauga Hounds." The draft is a curious process. Rather than assigning players to teams based on need and opportunity, as we do in The Federation, teams take turns selecting players, over whom they will gain complete control. Furthermore, the teams may exchange selections and players. It is truly an entire second game within the game, and the teams' managers remind me of a crowd of gamblers around a Dabo wheel. Indeed, we have much to learn about these people's ways. Captain's log, supplemental: Dr. "Skates" McCoy indulged my curiosity and researched the concept of a draft. It seems this was a common practice in sports on our own Earth, many years ago. It seems the more we learn about these people, the more we learn about ourselves. I have settled my equipment into the locker room if the Mississauga Hounds. The training equipment and hygiene are centuries behind the standards I've come to expect with the UFHD, and I requested a bacterial analysis by Dr McCoy, immediately. I am amazed at how infrequently the equipment is sanitized, given the level of sweat and other biological contaminants it is regularly exposed to. I may need to send for a science team to make a complete sweep of the facility.

1. Defense, the king of all attributes. 2. Yeah, those picks should quickly get up to that level. 3. It's pretty impressive, moving a state and a territory to Europe. Must've taken a big shovel. 4. The Witcher 3. Or maybe 2. But one of those two. 5. Not a fan of ranch, not a fan of kranch. 6. Nah, maybe I'll watch it when I'm recovering from my surgery.

1. A reason to leave work. 2. Yes, my pet constantly peeves me. 3. Dinner. I make some outstanding mains. 4. "I Want You Back" by the Jackson 5 5. I didn't want to, but mom made me. 6. Rochambeau

James Teekirque Holds Press Conference, Announces Dorek Syndrome Fundraiser "I recently received some. Troubling. News. My friend and colleague, Quark, the Director of Operations from the Sports Betting Association of Ferenginar, has been diagnosed with Dorek Syndrome," Teekirque announced. Dorek is a rare disease that affects one in five million Ferengi. It is fast-acting and lethal, usual killing patients in under a week. There is no known cure or treatment for Dorek Syndrome. "My heart breaks for Quark and his brother, nephew and mother, who I know must be devastated by this development. Quark has been a credit to the SBAF, and I know the organization will never be the same without him." "In honor of the long standing friendship I have shared with Quark, and of the cooperation between the UFHD and the SBAF, I would like to announce that I will be holding a fundraiser this season, with the proceeds to be split between helping Quark's family pay the funeral costs and the Center for Dorek Syndrome. For every assist I make, I will donate one strip of gold-pressed latinum. For every goal I score, I will donate two. We will also be accepting pledges from anyone interested in donating to help find a cure for Dorek Syndrome. Thank you."

1. Nobody! I mean, no one! 2. He's already dead. 3. Chocolate covered raisins. Kid didn't bring any home, though. 4. He's better be, his career is over. 5. We were blacklisted from Amazon delivery. 6. What's with all the incriminating questions?

1. Trying to get a little TPE into these new skates! 2. I don't know, I just got here! 3. Probably the largest player on the team. 4. I want to actually soon a championship at some level. Last guy had the worst luck in the playoffs. 5. Crepes. I had a cannoli crepe two summers ago that would knock your socks off. 6. Peter Pan.

Ice: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the United Federation of Planets Hockey Development Program. Its five-year mission: to make sick dekes. To score more goals and body check aliens. To boldly split D's no one has split before! Captain's log, stardate 20211026. This is James Teekirque of the United Federation of Planets Hockey Development Program (UFHD). Our course has taken us through a previously uncharted region on the border of the alpha and beta quadrants. We've found something truly there: a planet nearly identical to our home world of earth, circa 2021. One curious difference has made itself apparent already: a tremendous fixation with the sport of hockey. This bodes very well for the UFHD. I am assembling a small away team of coaches and players to beam down to the planet and investigate. My assistant coach, Commander Spuck, will run practice in my absence. The locals have offered me a temporary position on one if their minor league teams, the Houston Bulls, as a gesture of good faith, and I think the experience well be very educational for everyone involved. One thing is for sure, though: I am relieved we arrived here first. The primitive twenty first century netminders and defense our sensors have detected would have been utterly powerless in the face of the Romulans' quick release and sick snipes. I only hope we can prepare them for the eventuality of that encounter. Teekirque out.

#HORNSUP

Player Information Username: Mongoose87 Player Name: James Teekirque Recruited From: Returning Age: 32 Position: D Height: 70 in. Weight: 195 lbs. Birthplace: Canada Player Page @VHLM GM

Say whaaaaaaat

1. I did. I live in Canada, you know. 2. The 100% frosted flakes diet. It's grrrreat! 3. I greet it politely and move on. 4. Yes. We will need to win games and not lose them 5. My ideal coffee is tea. 6. Knocked Up.

1. Right where we are now, 2nd. 2. No, I have a garage do it for me. 3. TBH, us. I thought we were in for a rebuild. 4. WEEEEEEEIGHTS 5. UGH. I'll take the crab juice. 6. There's this El Salvadoran restaurant in town. Best food for your dollar.

1. Tommy Wiseau 2. The nearest book was a baby book, it only has about 10 pages. 3. Unironically, my dad 4. The Lost City of Atlantis. 5. Our magical rings that summon Captain Planet. 6. A lumberjack.

1. Of all the players drafted, they are some of them. 2. Make the playoffs. Win every series of the playoffs. Didn't they explain that to you? 3. Well, you guys pretty much just got here, so it's hard to make an assessment. 4. Kosmo Kramerev. 5. I don't have an opinion. 6. I'm partial to Z, but only for nostalgic joke team names from his tourney.

1. I nominated William Jennings Bryan, even though he was not seeking the nomination. 2. Didn't really, TBH. Kosmo is just kinda limping to the end of his career. 3. I'm sticking with the Bears. 4. I was pleased when they announced that the ship to Blistonia was going to arrive ahead of schedule. 5. Roller derby. 6. This: https://twitter.com/STDeltaShift/status/1419817964602372096?t=VnD5y885FaxKIcOQTr8Now&s=19

It's like the BFFO, back in GOMHL.

1. I will be pondering my future player's position. 2. I think it just accelerates what was an inevitable rebuild. 3. Stay gold, Ponyboy. 4. New York's hottest club is "KEVIN!" It has everything. 5. Not a single one. 6. The Bears.

1. It hasn't been out best year. I kinda had a feeling this was coming. 2. 3. I made a scene of my player getting arrested for stealing an award 4. I suggest going to more creative people for suggestions. 5. I'm looking forward to sweater weather. 6. Because it is an intelligent bird that responds to stimuli without good consideration for risks.

1. Pretty damn good. If it wasn't for the bot blowing it, we'd have won another two. 2. I think he could bring a defensive presence up front that could really help our pk. 3. Up, up and away! 4. Yeah, it's a good place for people like me that are too lazy for regular PTs. 5. The worst pain I've ever felt was when the baby bit me on the dick. That was through my pants, too. 6. A ton of feathers, they're attached to birds.

1. Not bad. Better than I expected, for this old geezer. 2. We've been a bit up and down, but solid on average. 3. These press conferences. 4. Most of their lineup is intact. If they can get better goaltending in the playoffs, they'll do great. 5. I'm only afraid of two things. One is nuclear war. 6. Coke. Diet Coke.

By Grabthar's Hammer, what a savings!