NSG

Well, Henry Tucker's career is finished, save for some ProAm contests, while his son's career rages on strong. As per the rules, Halifax has released Tucker Jr, although it is hoped that he returns for another season. So far, only the Mississauga Hounds have contacted him, which is a little disappointing, but it is only the VHLM; I don't have that much power over my fate anyways. Like, yeah I could retire my guy in protest, but that would just waste my 76 TPE carryover. Some other stuff also happened: Tucker's jersey got retired right as @Nykonax (love you man, and not just for retiring my jersey was stepping down, and yes, Nyko stepped down. Since I haven't stepped down yet, I'm the interim GM, which is super exciting and also meaningless since I have no power. I guess I could apply for VAN GM but I never did anything useful, so I'm still pretty unqualified. I'll likely end up mutually parting ways with the new GM, honestly, so whatevs. Anyways, here's the next-to-last edition of double records, since Tucker's playoff records will come next week. Henry Tucker Games: 504 (T-3rd) - Where I finished on this list was pretty predictable, because obviously I had some limitations. Goals: 241 (1st) - In the end, I did end up beating Zolnek by 11 goals to win this race, and thus I claim 1st. I imagine I'll sit at the top for quite some time, but I kinda doubt that I'll keep this record until the 100s Assists: 284 (5th) - Not my forte, but I still finished 5th, and all in all, that's still a really great finish. Points: 525 (4th) - Winning this was a tall task regardless, since RGN and Zolnek had a year's advantage over me, and Su's a franchise legend, so the fact that I didn't get to first isn't surprising. If only I had been 1st in assists as well... +/-: 54 (T-19th) - Definitely the most meaningless stat on this list, I ended up somewhere in the middle, which didn't surprise, since I played through 1 season where I barely got any minutes, 3 seasons when we were winning, and 3 when we were tanking, so yeah, I don't care about this one. Fun fact though, me and RGN are tied. PIM: 862 (1st) - Again, this is definitely what I'm most proud of, along with hits. Penalty minutes have always been an underprioritized stat and because of me, it feels wanted, special, and appreciated. I completely demolished Vanny's old record and I imagine that this record will stand for quite some time. Hits: 1706 (1st) - I demolished this record even more, beating Sandstorm by like 500. This is what I'm 2nd most proud of, because hockey is a violent sport, and of all of the dudes who've ever played for Vancouver, I was the most violent and abusive of them all. And I did that even while spending 14 hours and change sitting in the penalty box. Shots: 2573 (1st) - When you're the franchise leader in goals, presumably you should also lead in shots. Thankfully, I was smart and did that. Shots Blocked: 266 (15th) - Thanks to those newfangled attributes, I was able to suddenly start blocking shots, and thanks to me blocking 103 of them last year, all of a sudden I'm undeservedly in the top 15! Yay, I guess? Game Winners: 33 (2nd) - Somehow Julius Freeman managed to get 40. I don't know how, but he did, so I'm not first. Not that mad, though, because we didn't win a huge amount of games, and when we did, the Reinharts were busy stealing my points. Fuck meta, man. Now we have to deal with these confusing-ass hybrid attributes, and I had to watch all these rookies with 30 less passing than me score insane amounts of points in the name of team success or whatever. Henry Tucker Jr Games: 8 (25th) - Tucker Jr worked really hard, and as a result, he got on Page 1 of the team records! Wins: 7 (21st) - Because I was placed in games that were pretty easy wins, I rank higher in wins than 4 goalies who played 10+ games! Losses: 1 (T-30th) - Thanks to 1 dinky loss, I have been forced to share the title of last place with the legendary Thadius Sales, who apparently played for Halifax a long time ago. OTL: 0 (T-24th) - I also share this record with Sales, but I do have some more company this time. The most games a Halifax goalie has played without an OTL is 13, as Hunter Blaidsell did it in Season 82. SV%: .908 (2nd) - At one point, this was a weak spot for me, but thanks to a shutout and some late-season improvement, this is now one of my strong spots, as I only trail a goalie who played half as many games as me, so I'm happy. GAA: 1.61 (1st) - I've been in control of this category from Day 1, and I continue to dominate it. The next closest dude, Tyler Smith, is 0.62 behind, so I can have a bad game or 2 and still keep the record. SO: 1 (T-16th) - 1 shutout in 8 games is really impressive imo, and Halifax's history seems to back it up: Of all the people with 1+ SO, I have played the fewest games! Goals Allowed: 13 (31st) - Because of my superior GAA, I was able to just barely scrape past Sales for last place, 14-13, even though he played 4 games to my 8! It's fun to be good. Saves: 141 (30th) - This is where it becomes obvious that I had an easy workload, because there are 5 people ahead of me who have played fewer games than me. Oh well, we'll just gloss over that minor detail next time. And that concludes another long-ass VHL.com, see you (most likely the "you" in this scenario is @Shindigs) next week! 977 words goddamn

Thanj you Nyko Also this means I'll ge interim GM for a couple days

Well, this week we take a little break from all of the rankings, but don't worry: We'll do that again next week. For now, though, some random news about the 2 players.... Henry Tucker, the fabled Vancouver right winger, has kindly asked GM Nykonax to retire the numbers of him, RGN, and Zolnek before next season begins, mostly because they're 1st, 2nd, and 4th in points and all hold or share a team record, plus, they were drafted in the same draft, which turned out well for the Wolves. Currently, the 3rd year captain and 7th year player is participating in the VHL Draft Lottery Tournament, where he showed some signs of his old self, including a 2 assist game that got him 2nd or 3rd star, and he plans to finish off his playing career in the Victory ProAm Tournament, which he first played at the conclusion of Season 74. Now, it's 10 seasons later and he's still alive. Henry Tucker Jr, the somewhat well-known backup Halifax goalie, had his season come to an end in a tragic Game 7 loss to San Diego. The VHLM Draft is coming up, and while I'm sure some teams are interested in him, the only ones who he's legit convinced are into him are the Hounds and the 21st. In the Junior Showcase Tournament, Tucker Jr has done terrible, but it's OK, because no matter what, his GAA last year was 1.61 and he went 7-1. Next year, he may be on a different team, and he'll he sad, but that will mean that he'll leave with Halifax's best ever GAA. See y'all next week!

If you guys are complete strangers to the league, you might not have noticed that Jruutu and I have been feuding in various articles about all sorts of things over the past 3 seasons or so. For the longest time, I thought all his insults were as serious as his belief that meta should be killed, and thus I responded (mostly) appropriately. I was going to go on forever believing that Ruutu was this absolute jackass of a person who hated anything and everything to do with the S80-S82 Vancouver Wolves. But then one day, I had a revelation. It was a Friday morning and I had just read the SBA's "Fun 2.0" announcement, which basically said the same thing as the original Fun announcement, which said that we needed to not be toxic and have fun cuz sim leagues and stuff. That day, I saw an unread message for the SBA's Colorado LR, so in I went, and it was Spartan criticizing the Fun 2.0 post. Over the span of a lot of hours (with multiple delays, it should be noted: I'm not that social), we talked about the SBA BOD, lawn-mowing, and a bunch of other things before we started talking about online fights, when I mentioned Ruutu. Spartan said that he treated 95% of his content as a joke, and then found various posts of me overreacting and being stupid, and I started wondering, "Huh. Maybe Ruutu doesn't actually believe that I'm a bitch and whatever?" And so, to answer this question, I decided to ask the man at the center of all this: him! That night, I sent a rather long forum message that was sent under the assumption that he actually hated me, so I chose my words carefully, was way too diplomatic and wordy, and looks really stupid if I read it in hindsight. And for all his buildup inside my head, what I got was effectively, "No biggie! It was great watching you overreact and you probably helped end meta sooner!" which was not exactly what I was going for (in the end, though, I suppose it was the right move). So now on the one hand, I look like an idiot, but on the other hand, now I know that I was being stupid, which is better than still being stupid. As for other news, Henry Tucker's peers are all now retired, and the S76 Class is now dead. Tucker, who was selected 26th overall, finished 7th in TPE, with 1088, solidly ahead of 8th place RGN, and his 19 place jump was the 2nd highest among the people who actually stayed active, trailing only his good friend Tater Tot (14th, 42OA). Tucker Jr, meanwhile, is not exactly an underdog, as he currently sits at 6th and could easily move up in the rankings as time goes by. Henry Tucker will have his last hurrah in the ProAm tournament this year, which he began playing in 9 years ago. Currently, he's in the lottery tourney, which, in spite of suboptimal lines, the 3-time captain has gave it his all as throngs of Vancouver faithful stream in to wish him goodbye. Tucker Jr, meanwhile, has struggled in the Junior Showcase Tournament, going 1-4 with a .819 SV% and a 4.05 GAA. Prolly need to work on that, man. 555 words Pings

1. Oh well, RIP to that question. In retrospect, we probably woulda been helped if we had won more games. 2. Um, I will, yes, because that was my favorite (and only) offseason event before it was disbanded. I'm dumb, so I didn't realize it got revived. Gonna be Tucker's last hurrah, I guess. 3. I'm a huge Taylor Swift, so probably the melody to one of her songs on Speak Now. I don't know which one, though, none of her songs seem to go well with fake hockey podcasts. 4. I would make a new award, the NSG Loudmouth Award, given to the user who participated in the most forum arguments during that season 5. Yes, I have 2 cats. One of them is gray with black stripes, and he loves people, however, he's been a very naughty feline at times. The other is a black cat with some white on her neck. She's beautiful and has an amazing purr, but she's very skittish, although less so now. She also has had health issues for most of her time here, which is unfortunate. 6. Honestly bro? All of them. Nobody likes chores and neither should you.

This is ridiculously funny bro You're already a master of Dad jokes ngl

Yeah that's what I'm saying But yeah QotW is 3. I should know, I'm on the BOD lol

Didn't know I had that nickname lol But yeah you can multi claim Affiliate PTs which include podcasts (the big ones can get 6, this gets 3) and commenting in a game thread gets you 1 TPE and you can do it 3 times. And if you answer a question in 10 words that's another 3 When you create I'll recruit you to my team

OH SHIT I KNEW I WAS MISSING SOMEONE Appreciate you Sparty

Well ig Gus is up at midnight Then again so am I

So guys, it's theme week, and since I want to have Tucker Jr off to a better start than Tucker (cough cough seldom earned max until I got up to Vancouver), we're gonna soldier through and do this, even though I already wrote a 1,366 word VHL.com this week. So here it goes, y'all! @Gustav - On your appreciation media spot, you mentioned me, and said that you enjoyed my articles (and also occasionally comment on my VHL.coms, which is nice), which I take as a high compliment, because your articles/VHL.coms have been absolute bops to read, if sometimes lengthy. I also really enjoyed you running the Town of Salems (especially the 1K+ post game where I had like 250 posts. That was wild) and you've started and participated in some really interesting threads, and overall, you're a nice person to be around. @GrittyIsKing - It's been a while since we've really talked, but I really enjoyed the discussions we were having back in May of last year. 'Tis a shame that we've fallen out of touch, but you're a great guy and you made Tucker an absolutely amazing graphic. @JardyB10 - First off, when I make the time to listen to your podcasts, they're awesome. Second, every so often you read my VHL.coms and comment and whatever, which is also fun for me. You're also a really chill in the Halifax LR, and just in general you've been pretty friendly towards me. @Shindigs - First off, you're a really chill and funny person to talk to, whether it's on the EFL or in the Halifax LR or whatever. Your personality is admirable (online, at least), but as my most regular VHL.com reader, it's awesome to have someone who's as much of a stat nerd as me. @fishy - Again, you're also a really nice person to talk to in general, but what means the most to me is what you taught me. To backtrack, back in Dec 2020 you came out as non-binary on the EFL and wanted to be addressed by they/them pronouns (iirc, but I'm very sure I'm right). And for me, that was completely new and, well, eye-opening. Not only that, but I also began to realize I had some biases against trans and non-binary people, and although I'm still not perfect, I can at least recognize that I'm doing it, and I thank you for that (on a side note, a while back I listened to that podcast where you recorded your own background music. That was a great listen) @OrbitingDeath , @omgitshim, @diamond_ace - I kinda group y'all all in the same category, since y'all are all im the SF LR and the just-for-fun server that Blade invited me into. Y'all have all been such nice people to talk to in both places and I really enjoy all of y'all's company. Also, OMG, thank you for organizing the EFL ToS games and you're fun to play with in the VHL. @jRuutu - Do we argue all the time? Yeah. But when I was sure that I was done with the VHL forever, you made a sarcastic comment on my update and made a whole article about me leaving in the midst of this train wreck of a Vancouver season, which completely pissed me off and made me recreate. So you're quite literally the reason I'm here today lol. @Ricer13 - My man, man. I remember I signed with you because Miami was closer than whatever other team was offering, (Was it Halifax? That would be so funny if it was. Maybe I'll check later) and man that was a good decision. The Miami LR was so vibrant during the short time I was there, and that really made me get into the league. Even after I wasn't a player, I had an awesome time counting with you on the counting channel, and then later, when you were the San Francisco AGM in the EFL (for a short amount of time. Now I run the team), I was the Assistant to the AGM and you and Blade were awesome, so huge thanks to you. @BladeMaiden - I wish we had talked more on VHL, and idk if you'll ever see this, but if you do, know that you're likely my favorite of all of these people. Almost all the interacting we did was either on EFL or Discord, but even then, I can't begin to describe how much fun it was to talk to you in all sorts of places, and how sad I was when you decided to step away from sim leagues. I hope you see this someday but if not, I still mean every word I say to you. 780 words

1. Given that we're the #1 seed, I am pretty confident that we'll take the series. 2. We have the talent, all we need now is the luck. And some strats that don't involve me. Sorry Tucker Jr but you ain't it. 3. My guy Tombstone absolutely rocked it in goal and definitely deserves the honor. 4. Preferably my VHLM career stays in Halifax, and hopefully I'll be able to just have a fun career, not with Vanny. Love them but I need a fresh start somewhere. 5. Are hot sandwiches even a thing??? Cold, and preferably an ice cream sandwich. 6. That'd hafta be swimming. It's nice and warm down here so we can just vibe in the pool all summer long.

Oh man I forgot when you were in the SBA lol, and honestly I feel connected to you too Appreciate the graphic and I’m so pumped to have a sig for him!

I got 4 PIM and 5 hits in my final game, which is a win in my books

Well thank you Gus, the feeling is mutual I'll always talk to you on Discord if you wanna talk, man

The answer choices shoulda been yes, no, or maybe tbh

WAHOO

THIS IS A SMEAR CAMPAIGN AGAINST THE FRANCHISE AND I DEMAND LEGAL ACTION IMMEDIATELY!

Rayz must be having the time of his life rn

I can only see Miami’s and Mexico City’s logo That being said, I hope Rayz goes to Halifax for no reason at all

In b4 Rayz goes to Miami

My gosh those are long! When you started thinking of the concepts for those articles, did you imagine them to be anywhere near that long? I know I didn’t. I usually write 300-ish word VHL.coms so I thought this top out 500-600 but then, well, it didn’t obviously

In the NSG player agency, there are technically 2 active players in the agency, however, all 3 parties have mutually agreed to give Tucker very little press or attention for the remainder of the season, however, both of them will get statistics thing, so double the fun for regular reader @Shindigs! Down in Halifax, new goalie Henry Tucker Jr has been thrown into the fire, sort of. He and starter Tombstone have been splitting games for the past 3 sims, but it is pretty obvious that Tombstone has been getting the harder assignments (and for good reason. I’ve been at 87 APE to his 200). Since the 2 began splitting, Tombstone has faced Miami twice and Mississauga once, who have 91 and 84 points, respectively, and he has faced 72 shots. Tucker Jr, meanwhile, has seen Saskatoon once and Philly twice, getting shot at just 42 times. Thanks to these timely games against trash teams, Tucker sits at 3-0 with a 1.68 GAA, which ranks 3rd in the league, but don’t be fooled: He only has an .881 SV%. Onto the stats! Henry Tucker Games: 499 (4th) - Had I not gotten both trivia questions right, I woulda written a game recap of his 500th game. Blasted trivia savvy! Goals: 240 (1st) - Ain’t no way I’m gettin’ to 250, but for one thing, I tried, and also, I’m 1st on the team, always a positive. Assists: 283 (5th) - I didn’t get close to 4th, but as I’ve said before, top-5 is nothing to sneeze at and deserves to be included on my accomplishments. Points: 523 (4th) - If I was first in assists as well as goals, I would also be first here, but tragically, it was not to be. Another noteworthy accomplishment, though. +/-: 57 (19th) - I think I was like top 10 before this year, but tanking generally doesn’t help a plus/minus. I coulda done a Reinhart and conveniently ducked out before the season, but goddamn team loyalty kept me here. In the spoiler, some thoughts about team loyalty and Ruutu and stuff. PIM: 854 (1st) - When I (hopefully) get my jersey retired, this probably won’t be one of the things they’ll want to celebrate, but I will celebrate it as one of my crowing achievements, along with my hits record. They’ve gone hand in hand and I want to be remembered for my time sitting in a box for being naughty. I also fulfilled last week’s goal of making it to 850 by season’s end, and I could quote myself on that. Hits: 1689 (1st) - Last week, I said I was shooting for 1700 hits, and with 5 to play, I need 11 to seal the deal. It looks very likely, but at one point, 250 goals also looked very likely, yet here we are, 10 shy of that mark. Shots: 2554 (1st) - Among my many targets last week, I wanted to be 50 shots ahead of Zolnek, however, I only gained like 3 since then, leaving me up 40, so RIP that goal. Worth a shot (hehe) though. Shots Blocked: 263 (15th) - Because of these newfangled attribute things, building checking went hand in hand with getting good at shot blocking, so I currently have a career-high 103 hits. For reference, my previous high was 37. As a result, I’m in the top-15 here as well, which is a little weird, but OK, I guess. I’ll take any place on a leaderboard that I can get. Game Winners: 33 (2nd) - No action here, but I don’t think we’ve won any games in a while, which while I can’t say for sure, there coulda been a strat change at some point to keep us from winning. Even as the AGM, I can’t say for sure, but for some reasons, the signs point that way, given that I’ve really cooled off after starting off so hot. Henry Tucker Jr Games - 3 (31st) - I remain last here, but if I play 3 of our final 6 games, I can move into a tie for 27th! Wins - 3 (T-25th) - As it stands currently, I am the only Halifax player in portal history to be undefeated, and I hope that holds up throughout this season! Losses & Overtime Losses - 0 (31st) - If you’re the only undefeated player in franchise history, it seems unlikely that you’d have any losses. Technically, I’m tied for 24th in OTL, but it doesn’t really matter. SV% - .881 (20th) - Woo top 20! If I actually got shot at, my GAA would more accurately reflect my save percentage, but luckily the Halifax management team is not sadistic to newly created goalies. GAA - 1.67 (1st) - When you only face 14 shots a game, I’d certainly hope that your GAA is really good, and thankfully, I have not disappointed in that regard. Shoutout to the 2nd place dude though, as Tyler Smith managed a 2.23 GAA over 82 games. You rock, man! Shutouts - 0 (T-20th) - Tragically, I am not at a super high-level goalie at the moment. Perhaps next season? I’ll set a goal, then: I want at least 1 shutout next year! Goals Allowed: 5 (31st) - One of the big advantages of being a freshly made goalie - I currently have the fewest goals allowed in franchise history! I currently am 9 away from Thadius Sales, who allowed 14, but I think I can stay below that in these next few games. Saves - 44 (31st) - Now for the big downside of being a freshly made goalie - I also have the fewest saves in franchise history! I sit 65 behind Sales with 3 starts to go, so beating him is possible but rather unlikely. And that could be the longest VHL.com ever, folks. 1366 words

No wait wrong game thread smh

2-0 all-time baby!