NSG

Well, a good chunk of the season has happened, and so far, 1st pick Henry Tucker Jr. is on track for another amazing season. Through 26 games, Tucker Jr., who's been kinda splitting with Swayman, is 14-5-6 with a .907 SV%, 4 shutouts, and a spectacular 1.98 GAA, as well as an assist and 2 penalty minutes, the latter of which matters a whole, whole lot. Career records for the VHLM seem rather silly to do, so instead, I'll give @Shindigs a ranking of my dude on the VHLM leaderboard this season!!! Games: 26 (8th) - This is pretty understandable, as Swayman starts about a third of the games and I take the other 2/3, so obviously I have no complaints. Wins: 14 (6th) - This is definitely not saying that I'm (or Mexico city is) bad since I'm in 6th place, but again, us 2 goalies split the starts, which is seriously really swell, but as a result, Mexico City's goalies aren't ranked high on wins even though we're very much a contending team. Losses: 5 (T-12th) - Part of this is because I'm so amazing at only partially losing instead of getting 0 points (see next stat), but it does help that I only play 2/3 of the games on a contending team. Swayman must be feeling even more amazing right now with his 10 wins and 2 losses. OTL: 6 (1st) - I like to think that since I'm such an amazing goalie, I've been able to snatch a partial victory from the jaws of defeat more than any other goalie, even though I only play 2/3 of the games. That's probably partly the case, but honestly this is just a weird phenomenon that I'm going to take pride in. SV%: .907 (8th) - Yeah, this is pretty lackluster for being a self-claimed amazing goalie, but let me explain: A couple of the people above me are bots who had good SV% because they faced a lot of shots, some are really good with SV% because their defense is so bad that they face millions of shots per game, and the dude who leads me in GAA (and maybe Swayman. Is he ahead of me? No clue, I just look at myself) are just good at being goalies, so a big thanks to my defense for being super firm. SHO: 4 (T-1st) - Not facing that many shots helps, but in the end, I am just super good, which is why I'm at the tippity top of this stat. GAA: 1.98 (2nd) - Screw the dude in first, I'm better, even if the stats disagree. And anyways, 1.98 is not a number to sneeze at, for sure. AST: 1 (T-8th) - I don't know why I'm including this on here, but anyways, a pretty meaningless statistical nugget. Maybe for Shindigs? Maybe because assists remind me of Henry Tucker's glory days? No idea. Maybe both? PIM: 2 (T-4th) - See stat above. I love being a troublemaker, and being in the top 5 for goalie misbehavior makes me very, very proud of myself. That's that, see y'all next week!

Throws name in hat

FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY

Well, it's about a week into the new season, and Mexico City Kings goalie Henry Tucker Jr is continuing his hot streak that he started as a rookie with the Halifax 21st. As the team's primary goalie, he has started 8 of the 12 games so far, and is a stellar 6-1-1 with a .909 save percentage and a 2.10 GAA, which rank near the top of the league. Additionally, his great friend Tater Tottingham, who's really into graphic design, made him another graphic, which, as you can expect, made the 1st pick of the VHLM Draft very happy. Also, at 174 TPE, the goaltender looks to be well on his way to capping out at 200 APE this season, though he will naturally continue to earn more TPE, as it will pave the way for another seismically high draft stock in the upcoming VHLE and VHL Drafts. But most importantly, there is one exceptionally important milestone he is shooting for: The right to represent Team World in the WIC. It may not happen, but we know damn well that he'll try his darndest to do so. Henry Tucker represented the USA only twice in his career, and Tucker Jr is looking to top that. For right now, though, there is but one goal: Leading the Mexico City Kings to the Season 84 Founder's Cup. 225 words

1. It's got to be my boy Tater Tottingham. Been a huge help on offense and defense, and the retired Henry Tucker smiles in approval. 2. As one of the goalies in the net, I am exceptionally confident in our ability to continue winning. I will only get better and better as time goes on and so will he. 3. That graphic is plenty fine and I must confess, I am super duper incompetent with graphics. 4. It's very fun and occasionally overwhelming, but definitely fun. 5. I would definitely say Houston, as we're pretty close to their team in terms of location. 6. Maybe 10? I have no idea.

13 but close

1. Honestly, I'll go with defense, because it seems kinda underrated in this scenario. 2. The 2018 Washington Capitals (or was it '19? Anyways, the year they won) 3. Never even owned a dog so unlikely I have had a purebred one (or a purbread, for that matter) 1. If you had to choose 1 other country to live for the rest of your life, where and why? 2. Who's your favorite actor of all time and why? 3. Are there any good condiments out there?

Here let's say this for the 3rd time in as many hours and see if anything changes or whether our fiery friends will continue to go after each other for all the world to see

The intent of this topic was... This has gone really far off the rails since then so as a dude who's on the EFL's BOD, y'all need to take this stuff to DMs.

Hey I upgraded fighting so I could get in more fights, not for laughs

And maybe I'm dumb but I don't see any easy solutions out there

Well I don't know but violent protests will just set off a civil war and the Republicans have more guns

1. I'd like to see the peak of Kilimanjaro from the banks of the Serengeti. Oh wait, I can't? Screw you, Toto! 2. Spicy brown mustard for sure. 3. VHLM, cause it's just better. 1. Do you put anything in your coffee, or if you don't drink coffee, why? 2. The Warriors won their 4th NBA title in 8 seasons recently. Does that constitute a dynasty for you? 3. What movies do you really want to see and why?

Everything you said, except for the compromising part, is not mutually exclusive. Look at King, Mandela, and Ghandi. 2 wanted the end of legal segregation/apartheid and 1 wanted his country to be independent. They did plenty of nonviolent protests to gain public support and what got them that support was their peace in the face of government retaliation, and India became independent, segregation was no longer legal, and apartheid was abolished. However, it was a much different time then, and now there is massive political division that won't be solved overnight. So all that to say, I'm not preaching inaction, which I guess is the centrist thing to do, rather peaceful action. And I don't blame you at all for feeling that way. Even the people I mentioned felt that way too. But they channeled their and others' feelings and emotions into tirelessly (but peacefully) protesting for change, and I reckon we all stand a better chance if we follow suit.

Sorry @Shindigs only story time this week With the 73rd pick in the Season 75 VHLM Draft, the Minnesota Storm, who are now a VHLE team in Olso, drafted a little-known forward named Henry Tucker. One day, he'd have his jersey hanging up in the Vancouver Wolves' arena, but for now, he was a 66 TPE first-gen who had all of 1 assist in a late-season stint with the Miami Marauders. Shortly after Tucker's first season with Minnesota began, a freshly fried potato of a goalie named Tater Tot joined the team. One day, this little potato would face more shots than any goalie ever has, but at the moment, he was goaltending for a rebuilding VHLM squad. They were good buddies, and prepared to part ways, as it was unlikely that a 110 TPE goalie would get back on the same team. And even if that happened, they had no chance of being on the same team, but then, miracles happened: The Storm got Tot back at 53rd overall, and with the 26th and 42nd picks of the VHL Draft, they were now both members of the Vancouver Wolves. They hung out for another season down in the M before both getting called for Season 77, where they played together for a happy, happy season. However, shortly into S78, Tot was shipped off to London, where 4 years later, he faced a record 3,992 shots in a season, while Tucker stayed back in Canada to break 4 team records and receive numerous accolades. They saw each other occasionally over the years, but never were teammates again. Once they retired, both agents signed the previous players' relatives, Henry Tucker Jr. and Tater Tottingham, who both signed with Halifax, more as a joke than coincidence. The draft came quickly, and so did their names: Tucker Jr. went 1st overall and Tottingham 16th. And those 2 picks were somehow both owned by Mexico City, the 4th time that the 2 agencies have had teammates. Crazy. Only 326 words Ping

I'm so confused with my life

Bro $25 isn't gonna pay off the bad rep you've gotten among most of the community for invading a thread meant for people to vent their frustrations and fears and anxieties about a very tragic ruling As a rather normal teenage male I suppose in theory this doesn't affect me in any way, but duh, it's wrong. I don't think abortions are super awesome but it's also really not anyone's prerogative to decide what someone else does with their body. Your body, your choice, for abortions and vaccines. I don't really appreciate you not getting the vax and if it's based on fake news, then I'll do my best to get you actual facts, but in the end it's not my call what you do. Court is political and yeah before we know it America will be back in 1894 which isn't a fun thought. Either that or we'll have actual full-on conflict which is also very scary to think of. If you live in like Cal or NY or places close by this isn't a super huge deal, but then think of the Deep South. Some poor gal in AL or whatever might have to go all the way up to TN for an abortion and tbh it's just gonna get worse to the point where you're nearest clinic is in like North Carolina or what have you. But it's nice to know that a bunch of out of touch super imposing conservatives don't care about what people actually want. Kavanaugh and Thomas never got found "guilty" or what have you, but neither did a bunch of hateful police officers who killed black people or just stood outside while someone shot up a school. Celebrities always have a "Get Out of Jail Free" card at their disposal or whatever. OJ Simpson obviously murdered bis woman and Bill Cosby for sure assaulted lots of women but one got acquitted of murder and the other got released on a technicality that didn't make him innocent at all.

Dammit I forgot to ping @Shindigs

1. Man, that's a tough one, bur the first silly name I can think of is Tater Tot. 2. Rhubarb for sure, because it's sweet and tamgy. 3. Oh lord, that's a tough one, so Imma do my top 3: Great British Bake Off, Nailed It! and The Mole. 1. If you were reincarnated, what would you come back as? 2. What was the least important decision that you've ever stressed over? 3. Is there anything you wouldn't do for a million dollars and why?

Well, as we all know, Henry Tucker's VHL career is over, and after we did regular season records last week, I decided to do his team playoff records this week, so Shindigs gets one last look at how amazing Tucker was. Games: 52 (9th) - Not something I can control, so it's cool. Goals: 28 (5th) - God, those fuckin Reinharts, I hate them, If not for the Meta Men, I'd be 3rd, but ya know, good on them for taking meta and kicking my butt, especially the only active Meta Man, Jerome, who had a perfectly realistic 50 point playoffs one year. At least I'm the original Playoff MVP of those teams. Assists: 34 (7th) - Assists were never my strong suit, so I'm not as mad as I am with goals, but nonetheless, it feels great to have people with 40 passing to get more assists than me and my 70 pass ass. So glad they chickened out after meta ended, or else I might not be able to flex my career stats on them. Points: 62 (5th) - Whereas Julius Freeman had me beat in goals (32 for him), his 21 assists cost him a spot above me, while RGN made up for his lack of goals (13) with his abundance of assists (50 on the money) to keep me in 5th. No comment on the 1st and 3rd place finishers in this race... Zolnek's really cool though, I guess! +/-: -1 (T-40th) - I guess I got 2nd line minutes, because Jerome, Tyler, and Zolny are all at the top, and yet I had more APE than all of them for most every season. It's interesting complain so much now, since I have 3 rings and a lot of nice times largely because of them, but I also feel no shame in going after the league's residential supervillians. PIM: 88 (4th) - Since none of the Meta Men are above me here, I have no real reason to be angry. I guess I wasn't a super prolific trouble maker when it mattered? Whatevs. Hits: 157 (1st) - I beat out Manzer by just 3 hits, but I did make it to 1st here, so yayyyyy! Shots: 339 (3rd) - My dislike of Jerome + Tyler becomes even more stark in this category, since they're the only 2 ahead of me here. If only I hadn't liked hitting and passing, and then I, too, could've recorded ridiculously unreasonable amounts of goals, assists, and shots, however, I chose to play fair and now feel perfectly fine going after those special few who didn't. Shots Blocked: 28 (19th) - This wasn't ever my specialty, so how in the world am I in the top 20? I am, though, so that's something. Game Winners: 6 (T-1st) - Those Meta Men may have had the volume, but I had the clutch mentality, tying for the most game-winners, and I kinda won, since the people I'm tied with took more games to get to where I'm at. There ya go. Y'all have a nice day and thanks for reading! 505 words so technically I wrote 2 articles today lol

Hey it's Dusty

Dang, a lot's happened this offseason for me, and there's still a lot to come, so you know what that means: It's time for an article!!! @Shindigs reading the part about Tucker Jr, which is the last 2 paragraphs, will give you some more meaningless stats to know. First off, we'll start with me. The new Vancouver GM, @Frank, was announced, and pretty shortly after he got into the LR, he fired me, and although my word choice might make me sound bitter or underappreciated or whatever, I'm not. In fact, that's definitely a good take on his part because not only does he get to hire someone who's actually helpful, it also helps Vancouver further distance itself from meta, and I will be rooting for the Wolves to do well again. After I said effectively that in the VHL GM Office, @Ricer13 said something along the lines off "You're the regional assistant general manager of Calgary now," which if I'm not mistaken is a reference to something I said in an EFL LR a while back, so in the spoiler is a backstory As for Henry Tucker the elder, he is getting amped up to play in his final hockey games (in VHL ProAm), ever as he was selected 29th by the Yorkshire Sissies. Many players on the team have been looking up to him, as he is the oldest current ProAm player out there, and only 10 seasons ago, he was one of the youngest. After he inevitably guides the Sissies to a championship and goes out with a bang, it appears likely that he will spend his retirement on a beach somewhere, sipping some nice drinks, swimming, sunbathing, and occasionally golfing, with public appearances being rather limited. But all the fun stuff is happening to Henry Tucker Jr, who is in the midst of a wild, wild offseason. After watching from the bench as Halifax faltered in the semifinals, he learned that he was eligible for the Junior Showcase Tournament and had been selected by the Brigade. Although he had some initial struggles, Tucker overcame those and the Brigade, though finishing last, ended the regular season on a high note, and for the regular season, Tucker Jr was 4-6-1 in 11 games with a 2.92 GAA, .871 SV% and 1 shutout In the playoffs, which all 4 teams made, Tucker Jr's last seeded Brigade appeared to be headed down & out after dropping the first 2 games against the top-seeded Warriors. However, their GM, @ajwllmsn, made a huge counting blunder and declared that the Warriors were going to the finals in his LR before realizing that 2 does not equal 3. His realization was too late, however, as Tucker Jr and the entire Brigade came through and pulled off the JST's first-ever reverse sweep to make the finals. Now facing the Royals, Tucker Jr & Co. won the first two games, and after dropping a game, won Game 4 for the championship. In the playoffs, HTJ's performance improved, as he went 6-2-0 in 9 games (1 of which he came off the bench for) with a GAA of 2.79 and a SV% of .882. His off-season is not over, however, as he now stares down the VHLM Draft. One of the top RCs in his class, we don't know where the goalie will end up, or how high he will be picked, but it seems very likely that he will be a starter. His agent will be unreachable until Friday the 24th, so to all the VHLM GMs, AGMs, and maybe scouts, know that I'm OK to go anywhere. 782 words

Omfg this is twoce that as soon as I was gonna publish someone came in and made me start over. Fml 1. It hasn't killed me, which is nice. Everybody I know seems to have gotten sick with something though, including myself (booster side effects) 2. Which one? Lol. Tucker's gonna finish his career in ProAm, while Tucker Jr. is gonna do that Junior Showcase thing. 3. "The Sun Also Rises" by Hemingway. 1. What's your favorite album and why? 2. Do you think your player will have a breakout season or not, and why? 3. The Continental Cup concluded in a dramatic Game 7. What's the most dramatic hockey game you've ever seen and, of course, why?

God dayum that was a comeback Especially the GW with 1:59 to go