AJW

I will softly punch you

I seriously should checked my Pines history. I am embarrassed and disappointed in myself. I’m sorry to Mr. Pines and the community that rallies behind him. Please accept my apology, I plan to be better.

Respectable

The Hounds are the best That is definetly true Stay mad you haters The Rush suck a lot They only have 7 players But DomG is cute Halifax cheating Their players paid STHS for stats That is so mental Philly needs to chill They think they run the Eastern 31 Gdiff lol sad Ottawa ain't bad Thought they would be garbage year We alums are proud Here is a shocker Mexico is kinda good Trenton is da GOAT Miami is trash They should be doing better WTF happened Minnesota sucks S78 Founder's Cup finalists Laine is depressed The bulls are so lost I feel bad to even bash Rebuild year for sure The reason I made haiku's is because I am classified as the VHL's finest writer. I could have gotten my degree in writing but instead I just wrote the course for many universities across the world. I am sorry if I missed your team, just did some main ones I like.

Don't fact check me or else

Disclaimer I am not being forced by @rory to write this do not worry. There are many reasons why S73 defenceman Jeffrey Pines is the G.O.A.T (Greatest Of All Time for you boomers) of the VHL. To start things off, Pines plays for the greatest franchise of all time, the Los Angeles Stars. I am definitely not being biased since my player was drafted to that organization. The Stars are ran by GM Josh and AGM Rory, a dynamic duo of management. These magicians of management drafted Pines to the Stars 8oa in S73, the third defenceman picked in that draft. BUT, as of S79 Pines has the most TPE of those top three defence picked... GOAT MATERIAL. I interviewed Josh (no I didn't) on his thoughts going into the S73 draft: "Everyone in this draft class are scrubs. If you had my mental powers it would be easy to see that Pines is the best player of S73. He will drop down to 8th overall since no one else has my vision, then I will pick him up." A true master of drafting Josh is. Pines has averaged over a point per game throughout his entire career in the VHL, all of those games being part of Los Angeles' organization... a loyal GOAT. Pines holds many records for his Stars squad: Most Games Played, Most Goals, Most Assists, Most Points... do I need to keep giving you more reasons WHY HE IS THE GOAT. Pines is literally such a stud that in S75 he was so tired of not being recognized as the best to play the game that he put up a 40 goal season as a defenceman for "shits and giggles". I do not know many people who are physically or mentally strong enough to do that, and Pines did it for the memes. Another reason why Jeffrey Pines is the GOAT is because of the member who manages his player, Mr. Rory himself. Rory is a class act. Rory is an updater on the forums and a degen hour manager on the discord. Rory is well known and hated around the forum but he has a special place in my heart for sure. The guy drafted me 5th overall in the S79 draft because I am cute. Good dude he is. To conclude my reasoning as to why Jeffrey Pines is the GOAT of the VHL, the guy has won no awards yet. Want to know why? Because he is a team player and he wants his first award to be a Continental Cup with his teammates. Pines could have won the Sterling Labatte Trophy for Top Defenceman 6 times already, but 6 times he has turned the award down from the league in order to work for his Continental Cup with his boys. Pines knows that that is the only hardware that matters. I really see no arguments with this article. If you disagree with my statements then you must be dull I am sorry.

1. My player’s production has been pretty constant, nothing has really changed. 2. They’re both really great at their job. 3. VHL. 4. I’ve always wanted to learn Spanish. 5. “VAJ” 6. Yup, Founder’s Cup.

Press Conference - Week Ending August 8 (Answer all 6 for 2 TPE) 1. Warsaw is at an even record (9-9-2). What does the team need to do to start winning more games? 2. Are their any surprises in the league this season? Teams that are doing well that shouldn't be? Teams that aren't doing well that should be doing better? 3. Who is Warsaw's biggest threat this season if we have one? 4. What upgrades are you planning towards your player's attributes? If you bank for depreciation, which attribute do you wish could be maxed (99 overall) at all times if you could pick one? 5. What are your hobbies besides the VHL? 6. Choose one: Filming a comedy movie with Adam Sandler, Playing 1v1 basketball with Barrack Obama, or Weightlifting with Dwayne Johnson. (I'm a 20 year old dude so these are the coolest things I could think of).

Lol @Miniongarbage

My player AJ Williams has been having a good time in Mississauga playing for the Hounds. I think it was a good decision staying down to bank another season instead of moving up right away. The Hounds are an amazing team (14-3-1, 2nd in the league) and it has been a lot of fun seeing my player score points every game... 15-14-29 in 18 games played. Being on a line with Petrenko and Numminem, both in the top 5 in the VHLM for assists, is amazing since my player seems to be a sniper this season. I hope the Hounds can continue this league domination and soon take over first place from Mexico. For the VHL, the Los Angeles Stars are doing great as well. My player was drafted to the Stars 5th overall this past draft. I was going to move up but did not want to have a boring first season being underdeveloped compared to the rest of the league. Los Angeles does not even need me though as they're 1st in the NA. Would be pretty cool to see my team in the M and VHL both make the playoffs and hopefully both make some good runs.

1) What are your thoughts on the teams performance so far this season? I think we’re doing great. Respect to Mexico for doing so well. I honestly thought we would be undefeated this season, but second best in the league is awesome. 2) Is your player performing how you expected them to? My player is doing well, 20 points in 12 games is nothing to be mad about. 3) Do you think management needs to make any transactions? I think management made a lot of great moves during the off-season, we have a great squad. 4) Do we have a shot at making the playoffs, or will we end up choking hard? If Mississauga misses the playoffs I might quit the VHL. 5) How do you feel about your ice-time? Are you comfortable with the amount of minutes? I don’t care about ice time, I care if the team is winning. My player is good so I like the good ice time I get, but I’ll take what I can get. 6) Finally, do you want to stay in Mississauga or do you want out of here? After this season I’ll be out of here and going the VHL, but if I wasn’t I would love to stay.

Press Conference - Week Ending August 1 (Answer all 6 for 2 TPE) How do you feel Warsaw performed in our opening weekend? How has your player performed so far? Does our record (2-2-1, 4th in EU Conference) after the opening weekend predict the future for the rest of S79? Or is 5 games not enough to tell? What are your thoughts on Seattle's Expansion draft and the NHL draft that took place this past week? Have you been following the Summer Olympics? If so, what events are you keeping track of? How has you 2021 summer been going?

G - Markus Emerson Jr @Red

F - Chris Reynolds @FBR

F - Timothy Brown @Red

D - Spencer Elsby @FBR

@RedProut was already taken, go again

F - Valtteri Vaakanainen @Red

D - Robin Galante Nilsson @FBR

@Minion everywhere I go nowadays you're there

Well deserved, congrats @Domg5

Over the cap

I'm falling asleep to this tonight fellas. Absolutely majestic.

1. Amazing. The team looks ready for a Founder's Cup and I'm super stoked to be part of it. The guys all seem great and I can't wait to get to know them better throughout the season. 2. My goal was to reach 250 TPE to be ready for next season and I will hit it. I think my player's build is great and hopefully my stats will agree. 3. Founder's Cup. After being on a losing team last season I'm craving wins and want a cup before I move to Los Angeles in the VHL. 4. 100+ points. It's doable and being a top player in the league right by game 1 will help. 5. Horrible, guy is probably balding already. 6. AL is a really great person. I only barely know him but he is super nice and helpful and he deserves the job.

This has hands down been my most exciting and fun day in the VHL so far. First of all, I roll up to work a little slow in the brain (the drinks were calling me last night), so my day felt extremely long and tiring already. I was just waiting for the drafts at the end of my shift since my player was eligible for both. But then to my surprise I got a message from @dlamb offering me the AGM spot for the Warsaw Predators. Instant mood change. I landed my first ever job and I'm super stoked to be able to work with the guy who was my GM last season and helped me blossom into a solid member on these forums. So after the first great news, along came the VHLM draft. I was still at work so could only check my phone here and there, but I instantly got lots of pings on discord once the draft started because I was the first overall pick! My player is playing in Mississauga this season and the team actually looks really good with the work done by @Zetterberg. I think it'll be a deep playoff run for the hounds and after a long season for me in Ottawa in S78, I'm ready to be on a winning team. Going first overall was so cool to me, I was the highest TPE candidate for picking but still it is a great feeling and exciting. Being able to click on the draft page on the portal and see my name beside S79 for first overall pick is sweet. After the M draft was over, now came the big dog, the VHL draft. Prior to the draft I had GMs message me saying they want me and all, but Los Angeles was the only team that really let me know they were interested. So when I saw LA trade their first pick for Moscow's fifth overall, I knew exactly what was going on. I was drafted 5th overall and honestly I should be really proud of myself. As a first gen who joined S78 late, I think I did a pretty damn good job with my player and have opened up with the VHL community. I really do believe I belong in that top 5, many people still don't know me yet but I believe my impact on the league so far can reflect that number 5 pick. I really enjoy this league and love all of the people I have met so far. I am super excited for my future in the VHL and plan to be here for a while. ProAM is coming up for me as well so my mood couldn't be any better. This article is kind of long but so much has happened today and it's just all been so great.