atw2592

Yo what up y'all, it's LSP. I'm here to write this fan 590. It might not be very exciting. But the updater will have to read this thing. I play hockey, yeah, it's pretty cool. I'm out there on skates acting like a damn fool. Hockey is played on a frozen pool. Man, I'm sick and tired of ad's for FanDuel. I rap all day, and rap all night. Hockey is awesome, because I legally get to fight. My GM is Steven Stamkos, he's a really cool dude. He claimed me off waivers, I owe him lots of food. This rap thing comes easy, like hookers in Las Vegas. Jardy likes it when boys put their weiners in his anus. I'm almost done with this fan 590, it's almost time to go. I almost want to stop writing, but I have like 8 words left, bro. I'm gonna claim 1 point for this, but I think I should get more. I'm leaving this god damn studio and going to fuck a bunch of whores.

Hell yeah I didn't get traded! Thanks to Moscow for putting up with my shit. I guess production trumps talking shit in the LR

Claim 2

LeAndre St. Pierre has really been improving a lot lately. He's been scoring goals, getting assists, hitting people, and having a really good plus minus rating. It is a good sign for the Moscow Red Wolves, who need him to produce down the stretch and into the playoffs. It has been interesting following his progression this season. He has been taking more shots each week, recording 8 shots in a game this week. Most importantly, the Red Wolves are winning and still in first place. As we know in sports, winning is everything and not individual performances. Although sim leagues aren't typical sports, being centered around a user created player, winning is still pretty important and no one on the team is really happy when they are losing. So hopefully we can keep winning and everyone can keep being happy and we all can hold hands and be happy together.

Red Wolves Storm Wild

Wild - 4 Lynx - 2

5-3 Titans

Reign Express Wranglers HC Dynamo

4 assists lets fucking go!

Don Cherry: Tonight we are happy to have one of the up and coming stars in the VHLM joining us for a chat. He currently plays for the first place Moscow Red Wolves and is one of the youngest players in the entire VHLM. He’s a quick forward who possesses big scoring potential in the coming years. He’s none other than LeAndre St. Pierre. LeAndre, it’s great to have you on. LeAndre St. Pierre: Thanks Don, it is an honor to be on the show. I must say, your suit is way more impressive seeing it in person. DC: It is one of my many “strong suits” as you’ll learn as you get older, LeAndre. But let’s get down to business. You’ve had it easy this year. You were claimed by the Red Wolves and instantly jumped into their second line as a glue guy who can skate and distribute the puck. How’s the transition from the French junior leagues to the VHLM been going for you? LSP: Well Don, it’s actually been quite easy like you said. I have a great coach who has taught me how to survive in this league and grow my skills slowly by learning as I go. Sure, I don’t have a lot of stats to show for my hard work, but it’s all a process. I have to roll with the punches and learn from every mistake. The hardest part has been not having many mistakes to learn from. We have been playing so well this season that I haven’t had to experience many mistakes. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing for my development. DC: Winning is never a bad thing, LeAndre. Now I know that there was some talk about you guys running up the score last week, but it seemed like you tried to express some sense of sportsmanship toward the end of a game when you guys were up big. Talk a little bit about your leadership out there on the ice. For a young guy, that’s difficult to have. LSP: I try to be friends with the enemy sometimes. At the end of the day I know that we are all in this sport for the same goal, which is winning the game. If there’s a couple minutes left and we’re up 4-5 goals or more, there’s no need to be aggressive or run up the score. We all look out for the health of one another and we all hate to see our fellow players get hurt. I’d like to be respectful out there whenever I can. To me, it’s for the best. Leading by example is my mantra. DC: You seem like you have a good head on your shoulders, and I’m not talking about the shampoo. One last question, who are you trying to model your game after? I’ll be extremely disappointed if you don’t say a younger Don Cherry. LSP: Haha, sorry Don. But I’d have to say Patrick Kane. His puck skills are phenomenal and he’s a threat to score anytime he’s on the ice. He also has three Cups to show for his skills and hard work, so I’d like to match him some day. I want to be that guy who can step out on the ice and instantly be able to change a game. I want to be the guy my team counts on to win those close games. I hope I can become that someday. DC: Thanks LeAndre, and good luck to you in your career. I’m pulling for you 100 percent. LSP: Thanks for having me Don. Hopefully we can chat again soon.

Higgins, did this game include an updated St. Pierre?

2-1 Wild

Blades Wild Red Wolves

I think it's pretty funny that my nickname is so closely related to a very dangerous drug. I thought it was so funny that I went out and purchased some to try it myself. Before I actually let this stuff enter my blood stream, I wanted to know a little bit about what this stuff actually is. "Lysergic acid diethylamide" is the full name, and it can include altered thinking processes, closed and open eye visuals, synesthesia, an altered sense of time, and spiritual experiences. Let me tell you, LSD is certainly not a drug you want to fuck around with. I did this shit the morning of a game when we didn't have a pre-game practice and I was still tripping pretty hard when I stepped onto the ice at 7pm. I wasn't just seeing butterflies and pretty lights all day, I thought my own teammates were trying to murder me. Talk about a shitty time to have a bad trip. When it came time for the game, I was literally trying to check my own teammates out on the ice and thought the puck was a huge Reese's peanut butter cup. Of course, coach benched me and told me to stop being a fucking idiot. I'll never do that shit again.

Titans HC Dynamo Wranglers Americans

2-1 Bears

1st star of the fuckin game lets go!

Do you think LeAndre St. Pierre could potentially be a #1 overall draft pick some day?

#wearegood

This past weekend, LeAndre St. Pierre had quite an experience after purchasing some top shelf marijuana from Denver, Colorado. Some of you may be asking: LeAndre is from Moscow; how did he get his hands on top shelf marijuana from the United States? That is the added bonus of hiring a sport management agency who deals with American athletes. His agency, ATW Athlete Management, also represents WFL superstar Denver Williams. In preparation for the WFL playoffs, Denver made the trip back to his hometown from Las Vegas to pick up some high quality marijuana in the event that Las Vegas qualified for the WFL championship game. LeAndre had been in contact with Denver earlier that week and knew he would be making the trip. With the VHLM having an off-day on Friday night, LeAndre planned ahead and asked Denver to send him an ounce of LA Kush to Moscow. Williams followed through with the request, except he sent him a pound of Bubba Kush instead. For those who don’t know much about marijuana, Bubba Kush has been known as one of the strongest “indica” strains in the world. “Indica” strains give off a very mellow high and have been proven to relax users and make them sleepy. In anticipation of the arrival of his Bubba Kush, LeAndre invited the entire Red Wolves roster over to his apartment to enjoy some of the best marijuana in the world with him. Being 18 years old, LeAndre’s eyes hold much more weed than his lungs do. He also wanted to impress his new teammates, all of whom are at least a couple years older. He quickly rolled up three blunts once the package arrived via private jet and the Red Wolves got to smoking. “Shit man, where the fuck are we?” That was the first thing out of team captain Shawn Muller’s mouth after the third blunt went through rotation. Most of the room was quiet and staring aimlessly at the TV mounted on the wall of LeAndre’s upscale apartment. This brought most of the room to laughter, somewhat breaking the silence. “Let’s get some fuckin’ bitches” exclaimed winger Jace Hines. The team agreed and headed to a nearby strip club in downtown Moscow. They received VIP treatment by the owners despite being blazed off their asses. Defenseman Arcturus Mengsk was spotted doing cocaine off of a stripper’s ass near the main stage. While most of the club shifted their attention to Mengsk, center Jory Rose bought three bottles of vodka and proceeded to pass one of them around to the rest of the Red Wolves. Meanwhile, LeAndre St. Pierre was passed out on the sofa directly across from the private dance room. Goaltender Sandro Clegane convinced one of the larger strippers at the club to take a picture of her with her tits in LeAndre’s face. The rest of the defensemen, Lucas Zhukenov, World B. Free, Tanner Hynes, and Pierre-Luc Lefrancois, all joined Mengsk in doing cocaine. Like typical defensemen, they proceeded to pick fights with guys in the strip club. Not only was this a terrible idea, but the entire team got kicked out of the club with St. Pierre left passed out on the sofa. It wasn’t until the next day that the team found out St. Pierre had to be taken to a hospital because no one could wake him up. Certainly, it was a night to remember (or forget) for the Red Wolves.

Name: LeAndre St. Pierre Birthplace: Versailles, France Birthdate: April 28th, 1997 (age 18) Position: Right Wing Height: 5’10 Weight: 185 Handedness: Right Jersey Number: 25 Nickname: “LSP” Playing background: St. Pierre first came onto the national hockey scene as a freshman at Versailles Central high school in France. As a member of the U-18 national team, St. Pierre helped France climb out of irrelevancy and qualify for the world tournament as just a 15 year old. By the time he was 17, LeAndre lead France to a third place finish behind Canada and the United States. Scouts in the VHL quickly took notice and St. Pierre was claimed by the Moscow Red Wolves of the VHLM shortly after declaring his professional eligibility. Pros: Skating ability – LeAndre was voted as “the fastest skater in the world tournament” by the coaches during his final year as a member of the French national team. It looks as if he’s just floating when he’s out there on the ice. At any time, St. Pierre can break through a defense using his speed and create a break away chance. Moscow will use this to their advantage when he plays on the fourth line and they are looking for an offensive spark. Puck Handling – While skating is clearly LeAndre’s biggest strength, his ability to carry the puck isn’t too shabby either. While not quite at the level of Patrick Kane, St. Pierre can weave his way around a defenseman to create a clear shot on net. When his forearm strength and overall skills start to develop while in the VHLM, he could even further improve on his puck handling ability. Scoring – Just like Xavier LaFlamme in the movie “Goon,” St. Pierre can dance with the puck and he can put that cocksucker away, too. Using his quickness to move into a good shooting lane, LeAndre has a lightning-fast release on his wrist shot that leaves goalies unprepared for a save. He always seems to be in the right place at the right time, which could be attributed to his above-average offensive IQ. While there may be some growing pains being an 18 year old in the VHLM, he should adapt quickly and become a force in the offensive end. Cons: Size – At only 5’10 and 185 pounds, LeAndre can be pushed around quite a bit on the ice. While he can slightly combat this with his outstanding speed, it can be an issue while fighting for a puck in the corners. As his strength improves, so will his ability to hold his own with bigger opponents. Face-offs – This doesn’t come into play all that often because he’s a winger, but LeAndre cannot be relied upon to win a face-off when the center gets thrown out of the circle. Even though he has quick hands, he hasn’t had any training on it and is constantly late to react. Checking – LeAndre wants no part of the physical aspect of hockey. He relies on his defensemen to stick up for him when he gets hit or pushed around in front of the net. St. Pierre is decent when attempting a poke check or stick lift, but avoids using his body to cut off a player trying to get around him.

4-0 Brampton

Royals Storm Red Wolves

First career point!