badcolethetitan

Why Lightning McSnipe is the GOAT and Chicago Lightning McSnipe Does it Again (GOAT STATUS) Alright, it's time to write 500 words about how Lightning McSnipe aka @Langostine is the best player to ever exist in the VHL. (THIS ARTICLE IS SATIRE). Starting off, he already has 92 games played in the M. I don't know a single player in the M that currently has exactly 92 games played besides Lightning McSnipe, which already puts him in the GOAT debate. He has something that nobody else has, leading him to hold a record. Next up, he has a -33. Now you might be thinking, how does this make him the GOAT. Well, again, name another player in his career in the M that has a -33. PLUS he's currently on the rise. Last season he was a -41, but this season he's a +8. Imagine that improvement from one of your players, he's seen an insane improvement in his +/-. On top of that, he's on pace to have more points this season than last season. Again, more improvement from my GOAT Lightning McSnipe. Now that's three great reasons why he literally is the best player in the M and an absolute S-Tier player in the M. However, this one literally takes the cake. This is the best thing that he could have going for him, and that's he has Lightning and Snipe in his name. I don't know a single other player with these two words in their name and if you think about it, he might be able to snipe it so fast, that it's like lightning. Appears in an instance, and disappears super fast. That's Lightning McSnipe. He's gearing up for a strong playoff run as he'll be an absolute terror come playoff time. He'll probably be a point-per-game, hoping that they do make it to the post-season. I believe that Lightning McSnipe is going to live up to his GOAT status in the playoffs and drop an insane amount of points. Next season if he's somehow in the M still, he'll be a literal god. This guy dropping 100+ points and winning awards. If he's in the E, he probably won't drop as many points, but he'll still be the GOAT. The fact he contributes to his team on and off the ice shows a leader. He saved my dog from a burning building. That's how much of a legend he is. Thank you Lightning McSnipe for being the best player (CHICAGO PROSPECT BTW) and he's ready to tear it up in the future. Also this article is complete satire and I just need 500 words. The M looks like a bunch of fun and when I recreate, I'll for sure be doing some crazy stuff and having a great time. Chicago owns Toronto (MOON TOLD ME TO TALK ABOUT IT) Chicago has only lost to Toronto once this season and we got destroyed. However, after that, the team literally said no longer will we be losing it's time to lock in. We ended up beating Toronto three games in a row and have a 3-1-0 record against them. If we play this team in the playoffs @Kenamatic @ToddlyBobbly and @Moon better be scared because we're paying the refs to win the series. You heard it here folks. We are going to win the series because we will pay the VHL refs. (THIS IS A JOKE WE CANNOT PAY THE REFS)

1. I think you are doing well because of BeavsSonMoon @Moon he is the goat and he gets results. 2. I think the Calgary Wranglers will fall out. They started off hot but are starting to slip in the standings. 3. I would probably go to Florida or somewhere that's very warm so I could enjoy the weather. 4. My current TPE is just over 800. The highest I've ever hit was above 1600+ with my first gen player. 5. Joel Castle because it's very hard for goalies to get points. I doubt any other goalies will rack up points. 6. I did two escape rooms when I went to the Dominican Republic. It was pretty fun and we had a great time, even though sometimes my family would get mad.

Chicago Phoenix Jersey Retirement A huge day for the Chicago Phoenix organization as we're finally announcing the first ever retired number! We're very proud to raise this banner to the rafters, as Scotty Sundin, number 15 will be the first. Scotty Sundin came into the league in S83, where he was able to have 63 points in his rookie season, an impressive feat nevertheless. Throughout his career, Sundin had put up 90+ points in 4 seasons, while also putting up over 100 points in two years, including the best season of his career in his last season, S91. Sundin was able to carry a depleted Chicago team to the first round of the playoffs, putting the team on his back, scoring 49 goals and 63 assists, dropping 112 points that season. On and off the ice, Sundin was a class act for the organization and it's no surprise that he'll be the first ever retired number. Congratulations to @fromtheinside and we're very proud you'll be the first! Scotty Sundin holds multiple records, including most Games Played, Goals, and Points in franchise history. When people think of the Chicago Phoenix, they think of Sundin and the impact he had. Career Statistics - C - Scotty Sundin - Chicago Phoenix (All-Time) Games Played: 707 (1st in Franchise History All-Time) Goals: 349 (1st in Franchise History All-Time) Assists: 440 (4th in Franchise History All-Time) Points: 789 (1st in Franchise History All-Time) Awards: Scotty Campbell Trophy (S91), Mike Szatkowski Trophy (S91) Again, I just want to say congratulations to @fromtheinside. When I stepped into the league as a GM, he wanted to stay and finish his career in Chicago and I'm glad he did so. An amazing player in Sundin, and an also even better member.

You ONLY have to answer 6 of the 8 Questions WEEK OF June 3rd - June 10th 1: We're now 10 games into the season and sit at 7-3-0. Is this something you expected, or not? If you're in the E or M, how's your team doing? 2: Do you have a dream location you'd like to live in the future? If so, what is it and why? 3: What do you think about the Calgary Wranglers win streak? Do you think they'll make the playoffs, or are they going to fall off? 4: Who do you have winning the Stanley Cup, the Stars or the Oilers? Why? 5: Who do you think is going to get the playoff MVP for the NHL? Do you think it will be a hard decision, or very easy? 6: Who do you think has been the best player on the team so far and why? If you're in the E or M, who's been the best player on your team and why? 7: Do you speak any other languages? If not, is there a specific language you'd like to learn? 8: Who is the best team in the VHL in your eyes right now and why(not Chicago)? If you're in the E or M, who's the best team in your league currently? Why is that?

You ONLY have to answer 6 of the 8 Questions WEEK OF May 27th - June 2nd 1: Who is one player on Chicago (besides your own) that you think is going to have a good season and why? 2: Is there any player you would like to call out before the season starts on another team? Start the trash talking! 3: Who is going to be the most underrated player on Chicago (besides your own) and why? 4: Who do you think is going to win playoff MVP in the NHL and why? 5: How do you like to spend your free time? 6: What is one team in the VHL you're looking forward to playing and why? 7: What do you think the new Utah team should be called? Is there a reason you picked the name you did? 8: What type of music do you like to listen to?

Yep you already know. I'll wear a shirt that says "vhlforum.com"

VHL Season Predictions NA Conference Towards the Bottom: The bottom three teams in NA seem pretty self explanatory, with these teams in no specific order, just bottom three. LA is currently going through a rebuild, and should see themselves towards the bottom as they continue to load up on young prospects that will eventually lead them to the top of NA. They've got a great prospect pool and for sure a lot of potential in the future, however, as of right now, they aren't going to be very good. The team doesn't have a single player above 700 TPA and they're going to struggle overall. They'll for sure be better than last season, but should still be towards the bottom. Next we have the D.C Dragons, who with an aging core, decided to start their rebuild. They've got some very good young pieces, especially Allard, however, the rebuild has just started and it's going to take some team. They might actually end up being better than LA, but I think LA and DC will be the bottom two teams, with Calgary being just slightly better. The last team here is the Calgary Wranglers, who are in my eyes, slightly better than LA and DC. However, this team is still lacking in some areas, especially after a brutal last season failing to reach the post-season. They've decided to go for a short retool and have some great young pieces that can propel them into the playoffs as soon as next season if done right. However, at this point, I don't see them making too much noise, but out of the three teams here, they have the best chance to surprise and potentially make it into the playoffs. Wildcard Teams: Up next, we have the wildcard teams, which I suspect to be the Chicago Phoenix and the Vancouver Wolves. Both of these teams had busy off-seasons, adding lots of players to help balance their young core, and they're better than the bottom three, but still not good enough to crack the top three. Starting with Chicago, they've got a great young core moving forward and will only continue to improve. Chicago is the team that basically is bridging the gap between the bottom 3 and the rest of the league, as I feel like they are decent, but not up to standards yet with the top tier talent in this league. They are about one more season away from being able to start being able to compete with the best. On the other hand, Vancouver has loaded up this off-season and seem poised to potentially make a run in the post-season. They are as strong as the other three teams, however, I've got them in fourth heading into the season. With very little holes in their lineup, they should make it out of the wildcard matchup against Chicago and give some of the playoff teams a run for their money. Contenders: The last category, we have the contenders. I think any three of these teams, and even Vancouver potentially with a lower chance, could make a run and win the cup. Coming in third, I have the Seattle Bears. Instead of going for the rebuild, they decided to speed it up and make a bunch of trades that found themselves going extremely far in the playoffs last season to the finals. This season, they're back and they look like they could potentially do the same. They've got great depth and some fantastic star players and a decent goalie. This team has everything they need to make a run and it's hard to justify getting better than they already are. In second, I have the New York Americans who despite missing a forward currently, should be able to find a way to fill the void, or could just run with five forwards. I'm assuming they're going to fill the void, otherwise I would have them in third, or even potentially fourth. Regardless, NYA is a blend of old veterans with up and coming talent and they should be contending for a championship at this point. Last, in first, I have the Toronto Legion. Toronto is stacked upfront, with multiple players above 1000+ TPA, but with the expense of depth. They probably will have the best first line in their entire league, but will struggle on their second line and with depth. However, I think the first line will prove too much to handle and they'll be able to finish first and potentially winning another cup with their core. EU Conference Towards the Bottom: Starting at the bottom of EU, we have Prague, Helsinki, and Davos. A lot like NA, Prague and Helsinki should be the two worst teams heading into the season. Starting with Prague, they look like they could be battling it out with LA and DC for the worst team in the league, as they're coming out of a window where they were competing, starting the rebuild. There's not much to say, as they're going to need multiple seasons until they start competing, but they've got young players that will eventually be able to help them out in the future. Moving on to Helsinki, they are slightly better than Prague, but they've got a lot of young players that will start being able to make an impact in a season or two. They're still a bit away from competing, however, they will start competing before Prague will. Up next is actually the first okay team in Davos. Davos on paper is okay, but they don't really have any crazy star players. They've got two decent players, but besides that, they don't have much depth. I would say this team is probably a season away before they start being able to crack the playoffs, but with the right sim luck they could slip into fifth and find themselves a post-season spot ahead of schedule. Wildcard Teams: In the first wildcard, I have London. Even though I actually think they'll do better than Riga, I'm going to put them here just because of the fact they currently have two defenseman. Now, I believe they'll be able to at minimum get three defenseman, and maybe even a fourth. If they're able to do so, which I could easily see happening, they'll be higher up on this list and probably in the first wildcard spot. The gap between the bottom three and the rest of the teams are pretty big, so I don't really see London sliding backwards at all, especially with their lineup. Moving on to the first wildcard, I have Riga. Riga on paper isn't super crazy, but they've got a decent lineup overall. They are the definition of "above average", but not anything in the "good or great" category. They will be able to contend with teams around them, but against more complete rosters they'll unfortunately fall apart. I could also see London beating them out for the first wildcard and also in the matchup, but they should be a wildcard team unless something crazy happens. Contenders: The final category for EU and the article, the contenders. Starting off, I have the Warsaw Predators finishing in third place. Warsaw has a good forward core with many stars upfront, but their depth isn't the best. Defensively, they've actually got a pretty solid D core and they arguable have one of the best goalies in the league. They'll be able to contend towards the top and if the cards fall their way, they could find themselves making a deep run in the playoffs. All they really need is for STHS to pick their goalie to get hot and this team could find themselves as a championship team. In second place, I have Malmo. Malmo always seems to overperform and find themselves pretty high up in the standings, at least, for the regular season. In the playoffs, they fail to deliver as they don't have anything to show for it despite having good regular seasons. However, I believe that's just sim luck and they're due for a run in the playoffs this season. They've got a great forward and defensive core, with fantastic depth, however their goaltending isn't the strongest. Electing to go with a stronger team in front though could end up working for them as they'll be one of the most stacked teams heading into the season. They should be able to make a run for a championship this season if the cards fall in the right way. In first place in EU, I have the Moscow Menace. Moscow on paper is stacked with depth, with their worst player on forward being myself with ~730 TPE, even though I have like 60 banked. Defensively, they are lacking a bit as they don't have the best depth, but their forwards should be able to make up for it. They've also got a pretty solid goalie tandem who can steal games. Moscow should be eyeing down at minimum a conference final, but they can easily go win it all. They're praying the Spartan curse doesn't hit them and they can finally win it all. Miscellaneous: I hope you enjoyed reading the article. I didn't put too much analysis into it, but I was thinking later on in the season making a big article with a bunch of analysis. I don't know how much people like seeing a bunch of data, but an older article I made seemed to do pretty well and I might revisit the article now and see how teams are doing. I could also wait a couple more seasons and see how that turned out, as it could be cool to see if I was actually right about teams, or if it was completely wrong! Regardless, thanks for reading and I'm going to be gone the 26th to the 1st as I'm going to the Dominican Republic. 1500+ words

You ONLY have to answer 6 of the 8 Questions WEEK OF May 20th - May 26th 1: Who do you think is going to get the first overall pick in the VHL this season? (There's a few teams that will be at the bottom). 2: What is one area that the Chicago Phoenix are lacking in? 3: Who is your favorite teammate on the team so far and why? 4: What is the best gift you've ever received? Why was it the best? 5: Who do you think is going to win the Stanley Cup out of the remaining teams and why? 6: If your player is going to win an award this season, what award do you think they'll win and why? 7: What is the best holiday in your opinion and why? 8: How has the off-season been going so far? Have you been preparing for the season, or enjoying time off?

Ranting About Random VHL Stuff Alright, I'm going to start this off by saying, I am just going to talk about random VHL stuff because I need 500 words this week and have no clue what to talk about. I guess we can start with the VHL Draft where there was a bunch of things going on. I'm not really surprised about the way the picks went, felt pretty standard early on. I guess some movement, but overall good picks by every team and only time is going to tell how it'll turn out. I will say though, move of the night was me trading up and selecting @Langostine in the draft. It was hilarious because I didn't actually have a plan to move up and take him, but I just wanted him on my team so @Moon couldn't take another one of our friends as he's already got @Kenamatic and @ToddlyBobbly on his team. It was pretty funny how it went down I can't lie, but glad it went down how it did. What else happened, I mean I guess there was also Free Agency in the VHL.. but this season's FA seemed pretty dry overall? I mean a lot of the players had their rights traded and then eventually signed with the team that acquired such rights, such as @Renomitsu, but seemed like a lot of it happened this off-season. I guess the fact that teams were offering value for your rights, while also wanting to have certainty of being on a specific team is probably a big seller for those players. Personally, when I went to FA, it was always going to be between a small amount of teams as I wanted to compete and was towards the end of my career anyway. For the future, there's the VHLM draft coming up. I'll probably just tune in to see where my friend ends up going, because @Langostine is a S-Tier yapper and any team should pick him up to be honest. Besides that, will just be interesting to see how the draft pans out with all the draft pick rules and stuff like that. Should be cool to see. I don't even know what's left. VHL starts the 29th so that is probably the next big date on the calendar for me VHL wise. I'll be in the Dominican Republic while the season starts, so that's gonna be fun, won't be as active. Looking forward to it though! As for my player George Richmond, it'll be another season with Moscow. I think we've got an amazing core and some great prospects, so I could see our team being good this season, and for the future without a doubt. @Spartan always finds ways to magically brainwash GMs into getting what he wants, so I guess it's good to be playing under a GM who has the skill to do so. Plus, it also seems like a lot of players want to play for his team and stick around, so that's also a bonus. I think we can seriously do some damage this season and will be looking forward to how we perform. I hope my player decides to play an entire 72 games, as I swear for some reason, my player always falls off halfway through the season for some random reason. It's happened in every single league every season, so it must just be a STHS curse at this point. If his numbers could just stay the same the whole season he'd be a monster, but that'll never happen. Well, that was my rants about random stuff, hopefully next week I'll actually have something to talk about. Peace.

George Richmond Getting Prepared for the New Season Rookie Season is Over George Richmond has finished his rookie campaign, tallying 62 points and a +13 in the regular season, with 9 points in 12 playoff games. Richmond has been working on all aspects of his game this off-season, mainly skating, where he is starting to be able to get up to speed against most of the players in this league. A player who is known to be an elite shooter, now has another aspect to his game where he can utilize his skating ability to help him find better opportunities this season. Last season, Richmond was able to tally 29 goals, so I'd say this season, the goal would be to tally 30+ goals. It really isn't a tall task, as technically all Richmond would need to do is get 1 goal to be able to reach 30, so I think he can do it. Still, Richmond is a depth piece for Moscow as he hasn't grown into the true star status yet, but a very solid depth piece at that. He'll be eyeing line one minutes in the near future and eventually, will look to be the big piece of Moscow in the future.

Hello everyone, With the recent news of @Masu Chan stepping down, I will be looking to hire a new Assistant General Manager. I can't promise that this role will be filled, as if there's no candidates I deem fit for the role, I will go solo for the upcoming season. However, I would love to have a right hand man assisting me this upcoming season. Below are the requirements: -Help with activity and conversation in the locker room -Write the press conference every week, preferably on Monday -Assist me with draft prep, interviewing, trade discussions, and learning other things along the way -Be willing to learn and listen to me yap about random stuff half the time This is great experience for someone in the future that wants to potentially become a General Manager. While experience isn't necessarily required for becoming a General Manager, it is a huge plus if you've been in some sort of management role in the past. If you're interested in applying, just comment below and I'll more than likely reach out to you. Good luck!

You ONLY have to answer 6 of the 8 Questions WEEK OF May 13th - May 19th 1: With all the new players joining the team, is there anything you want to say to them? If you're a new player joining, what do you want to say to the team? 2: Where do you think the Chicago Phoenix will finish in the standings and why? 3: What is one team this off-season (besides Chicago) that has surprised you the most? 4: This has been a busy off-season for the Chicago Phoenix. What do you think our biggest move so far was? 5: Are you going on vacation this summer? If so, where are you heading? If not, do you have anything fun planned during the summer? 6: In the upcoming draft (VHL), who do you think is going to go first overall and why? 7: Do you have a favorite food/dish? If so, what is it and why is it your favorite? 8: Do you think the Carolina Hurricanes can pull off the reverse sweep? Or will the Rangers close them out?

Chicago I think is 0-7 in playoffs since I acquired the team.

In all seriousness gl @Garsh dont mess us up PLEASE

A Look Into the Moves for the Chicago Phoenix We will start in chronological order and look over the three trades that were made and to give some insight to them. CHI/PRG The trade was as follows: The Chicago Phoenix acquire a S94 PRG 3rd and rights to Spanish Moon Moth in exchange for goaltender Amir Redzic. This one is pretty simple, doesn't need too much explanation. As the off-season rolled around, I was looking at our options moving forward as we lacked a #1C on the team. Currently, Spanish Moon Moth is not yet signed, and with FA about a week away, the plan is to get them to sign. Is there a chance they want to test the waters in FA? For sure. However, the plan is to get them to sign, as if they do, it would be an absolute steal for us. If not, it would just basically be a backup goalie for a 3rd, which isn't the end of the world in my eyes. Also, the user behind the player Amir Redzic is a friend of the Prague GM, so it just seemed like a nice thing to do at the end of the day. We'll see how this pans out and if Spanish Moon Moth will sign. CHI/NYA The trade here was as follows: The Chicago Phoenix acquire Francesco Mancini in exchange for Yaroslav Trunov and prospect Kevin OConnor. The trade talks here started before the off-season began, as both teams were looking for a change of scenery. We were looking to swap Trunov for a player around their skill level, and I believe we were able to do so. NYA also was looking to acquire a player around the same caliber of Mancini, so it ended up working out for both teams. Losing a prospect in Kevin OConnor was due to the season gap between the players, which is one. I believe this is a win-win hockey trade for both teams, as both the teams basically acquired what they wanted to. It ends up helping out NYA to shake things up, while CHI is able to acquire a season younger player who won't be hit as hard by depreciation in the upcoming season. Regardless, a fair trade, and hopefully both teams end up benefitting from it. CHI/HSK The last trade on the list: The Chicago Phoenix acquire YaBoi Oven from the Helsinki Titans in exchange for Bryce Woodworth and S94 CHI 1st, the 7th overall pick in this draft. This one is probably the biggest trade out of the three, as acquiring a stud D man was always on the agenda for Chicago. There were multiple talks with teams, or beginning of talks, including DC and MOS, but nothing really came to fruition. Eventually, I was able to snag a young D man for Chicago, who is only going to get better and fits our timeline perfectly. Helsinki is going in the rebuilding direction, and adding a young forward who is active is a small consolation prize to picking up 7th overall in a very strong draft class. Again, I don't really think there's any team that came out on top of this deal, as both teams do end up getting what they wanted. There were also other teams involved on YaBoi Oven, but ultimately he ended up coming to Chicago. We'll have to see what ends up becoming of the 7th overall pick, as it could realistically end up replacing YaBoi Oven for Helsinki in the future. In the end, both teams are happy and it seemed to work out.

@samx Thanks for the trade talks. @SirRupertBarnes Good luck in Helsinki, you were great for us in the time we had you! @Doomsday THUG LIFE HUNGARY

Well, what a big one! Thanks @STZ for the trade talks. Ended up working out for both teams. @qripll Thank you for your time in Chicago. You were our #1 for a while and put up crazy numbers on our team. I wish you the best of luck in NYA! @GioSivo Welcome to Chicago! I'm super excited to have you apart of the team, I think we're going to do huge things this upcoming season.

He's a pending FA... There's a very likely chance he's walking to FA. LOL

Since Masu is stepping down, I will be taking over the press conferences for the future until a replacement is named. You ONLY have to answer 6 of the 8 Questions WEEK OF May 6th - May 12th 1: What is one area of your player's game you will be focusing on this off-season and why? 2: Who do you think is going to win the championship for the VHL, the Seattle Bears or the London United and why? 3: This off-season, what do you think the team needs to do to be better in the upcoming season? 4: What VHL team this season (besides Chicago) has been the biggest surprise to you and why? 5: What do you think of the first round of the playoffs in the NHL? Did you favorite to win make it through, or have you chosen a new team? 6: Do you currently play any sports in real life? If so, what sports do you play? If not, what is one sport you would like to get into? 7: Who is your favorite NHL player and why do you like them? 8: Where is one place you want to travel in the world and why?

I'm sneaking in for the press conference! 1. I'm going to go with Liv Slater. They were a very solid defenseman and led the team in points, plus almost dropped 30 goals. 2. I think the unsung hero for the Wolves was Dalkr Vidarsson. He didn't have too much help, but still found a way to put up a .913 and a 3.08. 3. I'm going with Logan Ninefingers. They had 63 points in 72 games played, including a 30 goal season in their rookie season, which is very impressive. 4. I'll go with Liv Slater. I think they were the best player on the team and deserve the award. 5. I'm going to say the Jake Wylde Trophy. 6. I think just continue to build on the young core and supplement the pieces. If they do that, they could make it into the playoffs. Thanks!

2. I am happy with my players performance. I wish I didn't fall off at the end of the season though. 3. I think the biggest threat will be their goalie, WWWWWW. 4. I'm going to say Trunov. He's been our #1 guy and hoping he can continue to do so. 5. Meh, I don't think they are cheating, just bending the rules. 6. I can't wait to see how Marvin Harrison Jr does in the NFL (believe that's how you spell his name). He's a beast WR. 7. I did watch the draft. As a Bears fan, I have to say Caleb Williams.

Had to make it interesting