eagle_3450

F - Larry Abass Jr G - Jesse Teno @AJW

nevermind it didnt show me the 2nd page

"Retoslav, battling in the corner for it, he wins the puck, slides it to Molly, Molly cuts in shoots and scores!" Those were the words heard on TV last night as the VHL's London united faced off against the NHL's LA Kings. The game was played in LA with a sell-out crowd as teams from the two biggest leagues in the world went head to head. London ended up padding their ranks with some relatively average NHL free agents due to Wann Kerr, Thor Odinson, and Sjin not being able to make it to the game since they were all still getting used to life in London. So the four United players there ended up being the first forward line of Triller-Retoslav-Molly, the defense were also unable to make it as they were visiting family elsewhere, so the United picked up (arguably lower rated) NHL free agents instead. Teno also came along for the ride, as the starting goalie for London. Now, onto the game. Shortly following the start of the game, London opened the scoring with a goal from one of the Free Agents, followed by another goal just before the period ended to give them a 2-0 lead heading into the 2nd. LA struck back in the 2nd period, as with 13 minutes left in the period, Kopitar slotted one past Teno to give the Kings some hope. The United managed to get one more into the LA net before the period ended, courtesy of a point shot by one of the Free Agent Defensemen. London ended the period with 31 shots on goal at that point in the game, compared to LA's total of 15. After the puck dropped at the beginning of the 3rd period, Ivan, Molly, and Triller, all began pressuring to extend the United's lead, and that extension would come with 16 minutes left in the period. The commentator's call from the beginning would take place as Retoslav won the puck battle down in the corner, skated up the side wall before passing it directly to Molly, who was cutting to the net in between defenders, and proceeded to score from directly out front of the net after cutting in. Less than 3 minutes later, one of the Free Agents took a bad tripping call, which lead to a powerplay goal for the Kings, shortening London's lead to 2 goals. The game would be rather uneventful for the next few minutes as it went back and forth with London getting more time on attack than the Kings but being unable to score. However, with 6 minutes left in the period, Triller would force a turnover at the Kings' blue line. He would skate down the boards, protecting the puck and cutting around behind the Kings' defenders before faking to his forehand and sliding the puck into the net on his backhand. This goal extended London's lead to 3 goals, and diminished almost all hope for the Kings. LA, desperate for goals, pulled their goalie with 2 minutes left in the 3rd. This opened the door for the United, and Triller threw the puck back to the defender, who then slid it to Molly for the breakout play. Molly then skated into the neutral zone before sending a cross ice pass to Retoslav, who ripped a shot from the blue line with 6 seconds left, giving London a 6-2 lead. The game would end soon after with the same score. Molly would be the 3rd Star with 1 goal and 1 assist in the game, Retoslav would be the 2nd Star, also with 1 goal and 1 assist, and the first star would be one of the Free Agent defenders, who due to their breakout plays would end up with 3 assists. London would end with 43 shots on goal, while the Kings only managed 27. Jesse Teno made 25 saves on 27 shots for a .926 SV%, staying on form with how they have played in the VHL. This game, while with an unexpected result, would hopefully help being the 2 leagues closer together, and with all profits made from the game going to charity, hopefully this will set a precedent for VHL vs. NHL exhibition games in the future. For all those wondering about the players: All VHL players had their build recreated exactly in the game, and were given appropriate X-factors and Superstar Abilities to suit their build. Molly The Cat - 84 Overall (X-factor was the ability to turn very quickly) Leonard Triller - 85 Overall (X-factor was increased passing ability) Ivan Retoslav - 74 Overall (X-factor was increased acceleration) Jesse Teno - 94 Overall (X-factor was increased ability to make low saves while in the butterfly) All Free Agents used by London were between 65 overall, and 75 overall. I attempted to make this as realistic as possible, within the limitations of the NHL 22 game. (813 Words) Claiming for week ending Sunday November 12th, but I just wanna post it now so I don't forget about it. Pings: @jacobcarson877 @JCarson @aimkin @Triller

since no one else is doing it, @WhiskyJack is skipped again so... @hylandsyou're up!

D - Skor Mcfleury

Forgot boom retired

D- Jake Thunder D - Hammar Voss @AJW

Thanks for giving Ivan the net minus credit he deserves! How the hell do you win a continental cup and be 3rd in the league for playoff scoring in the same season that you were a MINUS 11

Ivan Retoslav has just re-signed with London after two seasons away from the team, and already he's become one of the veterans of the team once again. This offseason, Ivan did something that is very rare for a player of his age to do, Ivan gained skill. He was contemplating this yesterday, as he drove to practice with teammate and fellow centerman, Wann Kerr. The two discussed many things while they were driving, but then the topic came up about what Ivan would do after retiring. Kerr had popped the question, and Ivan said "I honestly might become a coach, I've always been the one to train rookies. Molly and Triller in London, Jensen in Malmo, and now Sjin again back in London, were all under my wing in their first season. So I think coaching might be perfect for me." Wann accepted this answer and then the discussion shifted towards Sjin as they arrived at the rink for practice. Ivan and Wann introduced themselves to Sjin and got on the ice to warm up. With Retoslav and Kerr both being Elite centers, they figured they should tech Sjin a thing or two about faceoffs in the VHL and focused on that, as well as physicality, for the entire practice. They both could obviously see that Sjin had potential, but a lot of work and training would need to be done to prepare Sjin to take over once Ivan retires. 240 Words

First: VHL not having many donations is my fault just for existing I guess. Second: You want to lock the way that I get TPE behind a pay wall, that I can't pay for because I need to use my money for other things. Third: You want to make the VHL basically P2W and give people the ability to speak in BOG meetings for only $30 when they shouldn't be able to at all. Fourth: Bots claiming welfare is not an issue, since the programming and runtime required for it to actually make it into the VHL would be too tedious for someone to create when they could just target an easier site. Fifth: Why do I have a responsibility to donate, not everyone is able to, not everyone has the money to, it makes no sense to lock TPE earning behind a paywall for the people without much a]money or time. Sixth: This is literally the worst change that could ever happen for me, and all forums have bots, it wont change much.

@DilWHAT @BOOMEXPLAIN

All the way back in Season 82, San Diego picked three low-TPE players in hopes of retaining them for a shot at the Founder's Cup the next season, little did their GM at the time @Frank know that two of these players would end up becoming some of the most well-known and respected players of their era. The three players selected by San Diego in the draft were Ivan Retoslav, Landon Wolanin @jacobcarson877, and Justin Adolfsen @NJDevils24. While Adolfsen's career was somewhat dissappointing compared to the careers of Retoslav and Wolanin, all three did eventually make the VHL. Around halfway through Season 82, all three were traded away from San Diego because Frank believed they deserved a shot at the cup. Adolfsen and Retoslav would face off in the cup final, with Adolfsen's side winning. Retoslav however, managed to be among the top scoring players in the league during that playoff run, amassing 20 points in 19 games. Following this success, all three were drafted by VHL teams, Retoslav went 12th Overall to the London United, Wolanin went at 13th to Calgary, and Adolfsen got sent to New York at number 14 Overall. Since joining the VHL, Retoslav has played for London, who he won the cup with in Season 88, Malmo, and Chicago, while gaining a reputation for being one of the most consistent point scorers in VHL history. Wolanin on the other hand, has played for Calgary, who he won the cup with in Season 87, and Helsinki, while creating a reputation for himself as one of the greatest goal scorers of the Season 83 draft class. Compared to these two Adolfsen's career has been pretty lackluster. He only made it into the VHL in Season 86, two full seasons later than his San Diego teammates, and he has yet to win a cup in his time with Malmo and DC. When looking at career point totals, Landon Wolanin stands alone compared to Retoslav and Adolfsen with a staggering 580 points in 504 games, 278 of those points are goals. Wolanin also has the highest single season point total and goal total of the trio, with 49 goals and 99 points in Season 87. Retoslav trails behind Wolanin with his respectable total of 453 points in 504 games, with 186 of those coming as goals. He also has decent single season highs of 74 points in Season 87 and 36 goals in Season 90. Adolfsen comes in behind both of them, only collecting a total of 74 goals and 169 points in his 358 VHL games. His single season highs are both quite small as well with only 47 points and 21 goals in Season 90. With only one season left in their careers, one of the main questions remaining is what milestones will they be able to hit, will Retoslav manage to hit the magical 500 point mark and 200 career goals? Will Wolanin manages to eclipse 600 points and 300 goals? Can Adolfsen make it to 200 points and 100 goals? Adolfsen is currently a free agent, while Retoslav has an expiring contract with Chicago, so who knows whether the team they sign with will help them reach their milestones, only time can answer that for us. So, for now, we wait and see.

@McLovinshould the greatest Vegas AGM of all time statistically come out of retirement?

*Ivan clears throat extremely loudly*

Ivan Retoslav, one of the top players of the Season 83 draft class, one of the most consistent players in VHL history, and a player with many career milestones. One of Ivan's first milestones was his Continental Cup. While the cup may not have been won until Season 88, Ivan had planned for it ever since he began his VHL journey back in Season 82. His first milestone though, was his first career VHL goal, which occured back in Season 84, in his very first VHL game. This was followed up in Season 85 when he cleared 100 career points. Then during Season 86, Ivan cleared the 50 career goal mark as well as the 150 career point mark. He continued on this same trajectory for the following seasons, consistently hitting milestones before Season 90. Season 90 was one of Ivan's most impressive seasons ever, on a bad team, he put up 36 goals, a new career high, and 73 points, one point shy of his career high. This season also saw Ivan pass the 150 goal mark, and both the 400 point mark and 450 point mark. Ivan also eclipsed 2000 career shots, 250 assists, and 500 games played in this season. Ivan also finally hit the 1000 TPE mark this season and, as we look to the future, Ivan seems to have a good chance to hit 500 career points in Season 91, his final season. 238 Words

I have an idea, London Guardians, make the colours the same as the british royal guards (red, black, and white) and make a new logo with swords and a crown.

W Iceman

I'd imagine you should really need one Russian in order to win the cup but I may be wrong

1. I've learned that I not only have a slight gambling addiction, but that I'm also way too good at blackjack, so if I play in Vegas you know why. 2. I think Blue, Orange, and White, similar to the colours of the Kamloops Blazers. 3. I'd probably choose rock most times because it's hard to tell when someone is choosing it. 5. Yes especially Matthews, he puts up 80 points and gets paid $13M per year for it, complete joke. 6. Songs of War, they cancelled the second one due to lack of support so the story kind of just ends abruptly after the first one. 7. In terms of game, BeamNG.drive, not too many people play it, but the simracing scene and multiplayer mod have made it a fun racing game similar to Forza Horizon 5 but with better crash physics.

Leading up to Season 88, it was easy to tell that things were changing for the United, and that they were changing in a good way. Ivan Retoslav was putting up consistent 70 point seasons, Molly the Cat was still producing, Leonard Triller was coming up from the minors for the team, and then GM Jacob made two landmark moves. He aquired both Igor Molotov and Siyan Yaselievich. Suddenly without even realizing it, Jacob had assembled not only one of the best performing trios, but also one of importance in other ares. There was one thing that all of these three players, Ivan, Igor, and Siyan, had in common. They were the three major Russian players from the Season 83 draft. These three put up decent numbers during the regular season, but come playoffs, this trio would shine. The three Russians put up over 75 points in just 23 Games during the Season 88 Postseason, and even took home the Continental Cup. They were immortalized with their names etched onto the rings of the trophy, and the three became known as the most successful trio in London United history, not only in scoring, but also in their ability to bring the city together and not crack under pressure. One will always hope that a trio similar to this will appear soon enough in the VHL once more and create more stories to tell. That's all for now, and we'll see you next time. (243 Words)

Good bye Retoslav Playoff records, it's time for Molly to take them

But the Russians of S83 did so well

At this point, almost every long term member of this league should know how ridiculous Ivan Retoslav's career has been. Ivan, for no reason at all, has become one of the most consistent players in VHL history, even now, sitting at only 688 TPA, he is on track to pu tup yet another point per game season. This story however, occurs just before Ivan began his streak of consistency. In his first season, Ivan had 33 points in 72 games. A small total yes, but not horrible for a rookie testing out an experimental build. The next season, Ivan managed to put up 67 points, more than doubling his point total alongside a complete revamp of his playstyle. Seeing such a massive increase, one may think that Ivan would be a shoe-in for the Season 85 Funk Vote, or that he would at least be considered for the trophy. What actually happened? You ask? Well, Ivan not only did not get a single vote, he was not even nominated for the trophy nor was he in the discussion about people that should have been part of the vote but were left out. Ivan had the funk stolen from him and no one even noticed that it had happened. Another time Ivan has been FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY was all the way back in Season 82, during the VHLM playoffs. Ivan played wonderfully, even leading the league in points for a few games, then came the finals. Houston Vs. Saskatoon, Ivan scored one point in the entire series, and could only watch as Saskatoon dismantled one of the best playoff runs of his life. Ivan ended the playoffs with 20 points in 19 games, and for those wondering, no, he did not win the Founder's Cup. Yet again, he had a trophy stolen from him, although this time it was a team trophy. Yet another time Ivan has been FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY was in Season 83, specifically during the regular season. The one difference between this Anal Fisting and the other ones is that this one was Simon’s fault. Ivan managed only 60 points in the VHLE and Simon refused to let him be the star everyone on the team had planned for him to be. He was solid, but still held back as Simon should have allowed at least 70 points from him based on his build. Still, this story isn’t the last time Ivan got FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY. The third story I can think of where Ivan has been FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY was back in Season 87, when he missed out on the WC because the Team Asia GM chose a different centerman who was more unreliable than Ivan. He should have been on that WC team, but instead he had nothing to do for the entire offseason and was left bored out of his mind. The only thing that made the situation become a forgotten thought was Ivan's Season 88 Continental Cup win. Which to date is one of the only times Ivan has managed to avoid being FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY, though it very nearly happened during the finals of that season. Ivan has not had any close calls since that series and for all of our sakes, let's hope it stays that way.

Yeah, it seems like a pretty cool idea for an award, and there are a few examples I can think of where I would've gotten an award if it existed lol. Retoslav, Molotov, Yaselievich (S88 Playoffs) Retoslav, Sundin, Johanssen (S90) Possibly Retoslav, Wolanin, Adolfsen (S82 VHLM) Overall I like the idea and I don't think it would take too much to implement all things considered.