Thunder

#Ram #entertainingasusual #notrafficcomplaining #dontquityourdayjobtosinging #Reviewtofollowcuzineedtogettpe

1: How do you feel about Davos recently acquiring Xavier Booberry? Its great having Boo. I’ve seen him kick ass ever since I’ve been in vhl 2: If you had to change Davos’ team name, what would you choose? Springfield. We’re a blue collar team with grit and guts 3: At this rate with around 20 games left in the season, how many points do you think you'll finish this season with? 20 more points than i have now 4: Which type of animal would your player keep as a pet? Saint Bernard 5: What is your player's locker room nickname? Sharky 6: What is your favorite Board Game? Checkers 7: NHL23 is being released later in this month, do you think you’ll play it? Not at all. I thought they got it better with nhl 22 but they didnt and they’ve just gotten worse. 8 What is your favorite Hockey video game? NHL 15 9: Who is your least favorite NHL player on the team you cheer for? It was Patrick Marleau

Press Conference Week ending 10/09/2022 (Answer Questions for 2 Capped TPE!) Recent trades have made an immediate success. What are our chances of advancing deep into the playoffs now? 2. Have you ever suffered a concussion playing sports? 3. Jeremy Swayman has faced almost 1400 shots so far this season and he’s still standing. How resilient is he and how much of an impact is he having on Mexico City’s success? 4. Have you welcomed our new players, The Mediocre One and Ross Glagau? Do you think they miss their old team and they are happy with the trade? 5. If you could have one super power, what would it be? 6. What is your favorite cookie?

1.f your player ever got a tattoo, what would it be? Great white shark on back and arms 2: Which VHL logo do you think would work as a future NHL logo? (Let’s say for a new expansion team or something_ Prague Phantoms 3: If someone made a highlight of all your player's best plays, which song would you like to be in the background? Thunder on the Mountain 4: We recently claimed the 3rd spot in the conference, do you think we belong in that spot? No. We belong in FIRST PLACE 5: Have you watched any NHL preseason games yet this season? Not one game. Started to watch WHL game but the video sucked. 6: Who is your dark horse pick for The Maurice Richard Trophy? (Not Auston Matthews, Leon Draisaitl or Alex Ovechkin) Alex Johnston 7: What is an underrated show or movie you enjoy? The League 8: Have you read any books recently? If so, what was it? Kill Shot 9: Which NBA team is your favorite? Boston Celtics

This is a graphics review because I need 1 TPE. So I picked the first graphic I saw to review. The graphic is nice and crisp and the colors you chose fit in with the Houston colors. At first glance, I like the player centered and the logo in the background fits well, along with the signature. Everything about your graphic is clean. The size and spacing looks professional. I like the big logo in the background with the black setting. The signature is tilted at a good angle and doesn’t jump out to take all the attention. Even the facial features compliments the graphic and you placed the signature right where it should be. The logo on the jersey is proportionately placed and angled to appear to be stitched on the jersey. There’s a small black spot located top center of logo on jersey that is likely the actual jersey logo, but its so minor that you have to stare at the logos to look for deficiencies. The left shoulder logo could be fixed to completely mask the team but again, its not immediately noticeable and I wouldn’t be commenting except that this is a review. The right shoulder logo wouldn’t be affected. Overall, I like this graphic and would like to have the talent with graphics that you have because your graphic is well done. Score 9.5/10

Damn, no traffic problems today. Subway the best they got in Jersey? Please!!!!

This is yet another 2 TPE article specifically to get under the skin of Warsaw Predator defenseman, Brian Payne. Payne is having a great season in all categories except the one that really counts. That is fights. He just cant seem to get in any. And the one he did instigate, he got pounded by Jake Thunder. Since that first fight, Payne has tried time after time to get back into the tough guy scene, only to be shying away from any battles. And now its not until game #551 before Warsaw meets HC Davos again and Payne will try to strut his stuff like a horny peacock. Brian Payne has sought out all sorts of outside help, to include witchcraft, fortune tellers, and even resorted to bribery recently. He was seen the other day, wearing those same spandex with the zipper in the rear, walking out of Greta’s Fortune Reading. Payne was wiping the tears from his eyes as he put his scooter helmet on and jumped on his 125 cc Zuma and hummed out of the parking lot. When he arrived at his next stop, Katie’s Kitchen, Payne was overheard explaining his disappointing tarot reading that Payne should avoid game #551 at all costs to avoid embarrassment once again. Payne kicked a pebble in frustration, swung his leg wildly causing the Velcro on his shoe to loosen. His shoe sailed in the air smashing through the window of Curves. Big Mama came out to console Payne and got him inside to finish his abductor workout. 259 words

Its time again for another episode of Thunder’s wordcast for the impaired podcaster, episode 7 i think. Doesn’t matter because its theme week and its perfect timing because my brain wasn’t functioning this morning and I was trying to think of topics to wordcast this week to get my TPE. There was of course, the typical griping of the new trivia questions, or traffic. Speaking of traffic, if you haven’t listened to JardyB10’s latest podcast, you should. He rocked the traffic report! I think someday he and Spartan could do a traffic podcast and go road rage on the airwaves. I digress, its theme week and time to discuss GM’s. HC Davos GM - Alex From the best I can tell, Alex has been the GM for Davos since season 82 and he picked up a team in turmoil, expecting to be rebuilding for a few seasons before competing. I can tell you all from first hand experience that Alex has got the GM thing down pretty good. I can say, he played his cards very well in the drafts and came out on top with his decision making. He has built a competitive team with a blend of young players, promising players, and established veterans. Alex is working in the background managing deals and looking for ways to better the team. It’s like a non-stop effort to tweak the team to perfection. From what I can tell, Alex is less autocratic and involves others in the discussions regarding player movement, future goals, and even minor adjustments. Alex also believes in player development and management development. He mentors his AGM and other players to help them become managers. This display of unselfish attitude resonates what the VHL is all about, a hockey community. If you can find a better GM out there, I will say that GM learned from Alex. Mexico City Kings GM - BadColethetitan An example of someone who is learning from Alex, is Cole, the GM for Mexico City. This GM has definitely got enthusiasm. He is in his second season as GM and I have been nothing but impressed with every decision he has made. He studies, studies, studies. Before the draft in his first season, Cole did more than just look for players to fill wholes in the Kings lineup. Cole looked at other teams and what they needed, and used that information to determine his draft plan. Cole uses strategy to determine his team and he welcomes potential stars to the team and brings out the best in their performance. Cole is an active Discord GM and has created a bond with the Mexico City players. His positive demeanor and high energy is part of what keeps the Kings involved. Cole understands the league and what it takes to be competitive and he has a really good grasp of being a successful GM. Look for the Kings to be champions. There is no doubt that Cole will soon be asked to GM a VHLE or VHL team and you can expect the team to dominate for several seasons. Cole is continuously building his pedigree as a GM and he is sure to have a successful career as a VHL GM. Las Vegas Aces GM - Shindigs If I were to choose one word to describe Las Vegas Aces GM, Shindigs, it would be “meticulous.” Like Alex and Cole, Shindigs is invested in his role as a GM. He’s in his 3rd season as GM for the Aces, and is looking to three-peat. Shindigs looks at his team and carefully dissects the skills and values each player brings to the Aces. He reviews games and picks out minute details, creating charts and graphs to analyze and determine how to do better. Shindigs identifies strengths of specific lineups and methodically makes adjustments to tweak the team to perfection. Shindigs is an all-around GM. He mentors, he builds, he works, and he cares. He offers his team every bit of knowledge and experience he has to make them a better player and member. Shindigs is another GM who will be advancing in the VHL. 690 words

Press Conference Week ending 10/02/2022 (Answer Questions for 2 Capped TPE!) 1. Have you pre-ordered NHL 23? If not, do you plan on getting it when it comes out? 2. How many different video games did you play last week? 3. Sticking with the video game theme, what is your all time favorite video game? 4. If your player was sponsored, what would it be and why? 5. Which teammate do you consider to have the best player graphic? 6. Have you ever eaten a kronut?

You and spartan could do a great traffic report!

About time you did another podcast. Glad to hear traffic is still fucked up in Jersey, including moped drivers!!

Vinnie Detroit losing to Brian Payne. Oh pleeaaaseee. Payne cant even stand up to Thunder. Scurvy you need to stop hitting the bong.

1: Would you have picked Slafkovsky 1st overall? Of course. 2: Which Player do you think will lead Davos in goals at the end of the season? Alex Johnston will be the goal leader. 3: Which NHL coach do you think will win the Jack Adams this season? I couldnt give you an educated guess 4: If you had to choose one, Which goal celebration does your player do in the VHL? The Triple Lindy 5: If you had to name your next player the same name as a movie star, which name would you choose? Rodney Dangerfield 6: Do you dip your pizza slices in anything? If so, which dip do you prefer? Oh hell no. 7: Do you own any posters? If so, which is your favorite one? Bo Derek 8: What is your favorite sports movie or show? Youngblood 9: Sorry about all the Montreal questions, but do you think Nick Suzuki was the right pick for Captain? Sure, why not.

Welcome to episode #6 of Thunders Wordcast for the Impaired Podcaster. It’s another week of Thunder’s inability to do a legit podcast. And for those who do them, no offense but don’t you think its time to do another? I like to listen to a variety of podcasts as it gives a really good perspective of the VHL. Until Thunder gets the gonads to do an actual podcast, it will be wordcasts. Let’s get started. Hockey talk for this session will consist of the WHL, Mississauga, and of course Brian Payne. Other discussions, words permitted, may include trivia, Costco, and spiders. The WHL hockey season starts this weekend and I have to admit, I am so out of it that I’m not at all familiar with my home team roster. Things were different when we subscribed to the newspaper, but that ship has sailed. Instead, I have to rely on the happenings of the Silvertips from my wife and her friend. Last season, they hogged our season tickets and went to most of the games. Not that I minded, because I refused to oblige by the rules that were imposed on attending the games. In fact, I went to only one game last season and I forget who won, whether it was Everett or Seattle. The whole season is a blur. About all I can say is the Tips have problems in the playoffs. They havent been a playoff team and its time to turn that around. Especially since Spokane, Seattle, and Portland always seem to step it up in the playoffs and advance further than the Tips. Unfortunately I would have to compare the Warsaw Predators to the Spokane Chiefs. They are both play off hockey teams. I know, I know, all you damn Thunderbird fans want to tell me how far Seattle went last season. Whoopie! We’re comparing tough guy teams. Last season, Warsaw performed like the Chiefs. Ending the season with little expectation from the VHL crowd to advance, Warsaw gritted it out to win the Cup. The Chiefs are quite experienced at being at the bottom of the division and make it multiple rounds in the playoffs. Why is that? Easy, they know how to play “play off hockey.” Even worse, I’d like to say that Brian Payne is the weak link for the Predators and will be part of the downfall of the Warsaw success, but that son of a bitch is pounding through the season making his way to the top of the leaderboard. The only thing I can talk crap about Payne is that Jake Thunder kicked his ass!! Now, I gotta keep that streak going. The next topic takes us to the VHLM. I was checking things out recently and saw that Mississauga is struggling badly. I haven’t been paying attention until now, but I really hope they can turn things around and have some success. I can’t imagine what the GM is going through, let alone the players on the team. Good luck Mississauga. Next up, trivia. WTF! I’m about ready to call it quits having to figure out how to get 2 TPE week after week just because I can’t get a trivia question right. Six trivia questions in a row now that I have gotten wrong. Apparently the format changed and the trivia gods decided to make the questions tougher and in order to get the correct answer you have to know where to look, and its not HOF or stats. I dont know. I used to willingly spend several minutes to get the questions correct, but that sinkhole has filled. I’m going to guess and be done in less than a minute from now on. I have to figure there’s a 25% chance of getting it right. Looking at the current word count, I’m going to skip the Costco discussion and go right into spiders. Let me start with, “I hate them little f…ers.” And this is the time of year these bastards like to hang on their webs and wait for unsuspecting victims to walk right into their web, or even worse, walk right into their bodies. The spiders I’m talking about are not the cute harmless daddy long legs, hell no. On our property its the brown recluse and hobos. Some of them get pretty big and they all get in the way. With the colder nights and sunny days, I cant get away from them. Every morning I get plastered with a web right as a get to the truck door. Even when I know its coming and try to swat it away, its like a hidden strand comes darting across my face causing sweat and anxiety. Even worse, going out back has become an invisible war zone being the webs are strategically woven across beams and patio furniture, gutters and window sills. It matters not, I could brush away all the webs and within five minutes they are back. For the next month, I’ve gotta deal with this crap. And for those who have no fear of spiders, I dont mind being called a pussy. I’ve been bitten! 857 words

There is only one word to describe the HC Davos Dynamo heavy hitter. “Monster.” He punishes anyone and everyone who gets in his way. He crushes opponents who display a remote hint of challenging him. He intimidates other teams’ GM’s, causing them to fumble their lineups to avoid a bone crushing experience. We all know this monster, and everyone on Davos appreciates his dominating the league. Who is he? He’s only the league leader in penalty minutes. He wins fights in seconds. He punishes the other teams at ease. He is a team leader and he’s well respected among the league. He’s Vinnie Detroit. Vinnie Detroit is in his final contract season and will be an unrestricted free agent next season. There is no doubt GM Alex will be doing everything he can to keep Vinnie Detroit by offering a new contract. This will definitely shake the ice off the skates of Warsaw Predators defenseman, Brian Payne. Payne is making every effort to catch Detroit in PIMS, but given Detroit has taken up residency in the sin bin, its highly unlikely that Payne stands a chance in that category. Some wonder how Vinnie Detroit’s back is doing this season as he’s carried the load for the team, and as Davos moves up in the standing, Warsaw star Brian Payne, shakes at every sight of Vinnie Detroit, and will watch his team go down in the ranking. Go Davos! 240 words

Press Conference Week ending 09/25/2022 (Answer Questions for 2 Capped TPE!) 1. One third into the season and we are holding up in last place. Are you disappointed in your player? What changes are you planning on making to your build if any? 2. How much of an impact do you see the teams’ struggle will affect your value to the E and VHL? 3. Womp Womp Womp… continues to dominate on defense. What do you think his diet consists of to be such a destroyer? 4. Nanashi Mumei and Quinn Saint-Willes are on the Defensive Leaderboard. How quickly will they move up the leaderboard and represent Mexico City as top defenseman? 5. What VHLM team will fall victim to Mississauga? (Better not be Mexico City!) 6. What is your favorite candy?

Two weeks in a row not getting the trivia questions, so now I have to write an article to get my 2 TPE in to max out. I could take the route of ragging on Brian Payne and waiting for his response, but its not worth it right now. I will save it considering I saw him the other day walking into his local Curves Fitness Club wearing spandex with the zipper in the backside. A frightful sight and I tried to rip my eyeballs out of my head. Instead, I’m gonna write about what got me into this position of having to do a .com article, incorrect trivia answers. WTF! The questions I have gotten lately have been brutal. I shouldn’t have to spend 20 minutes on a trivia question, and that’s my problem. My attitude of not spending enough time to get the question right. To make it even worse, I can’t remember the questions I got wrong so if I get them again, I will probably screw up again. I dont mind doing a little math to figure out the answers, considering my sickness with numbers, but when I have to do the math and still get the answer wrong, it completely turns me spastic. And there is no recourse. I can’t go to an answer sheet to find out why my answer was wrong, which being numerically anal, I spend the next hour wondering what the F I did wrong. So to all you trivia writers, thanks a lot!! 255 words

Welcome to episode #5 of Thunder’s Wordcast for the Podcasting Impaired. This week the name is being changed to the Impaired Podcaster, because its me who cant do a fricking podcast and its more appropriate to title it specifically pointing to me. I wish I had the stones to do a podcast because listening to podcasts is much more entertaining than reading a wordcast, hence the reason nobody reads this other than the person signing off the 6 TPE, and who really knows if that person reads the entire story. In today’s wordcast, the topics will include Jake Thunder’s fight with Brian Payne, Thunder’s piss poor performance last week, a quick review of the first weeks games, and if there is time a traffic anecdote. Starting with the fight of the century. The first official VHL fight between Jake Thunder and Brian Payne. I can’t tell you how long this has been brewing and it couldn’t have happened at a better time. I’ve been egging Scurvy to trash talk for over a season and the asshole stayed on the high road and barely made any derogatory comments last season. The thing is, Scurvy is so damn witty, he could have come up with a hundred one liners or a variety of challenging comments to stir the pot, but he didnt and look what it got him, the Cup. All of that changed last week, when Scurvy reacted to a Thunder article about Brian Payne, and he retaliated with a hilarious interaction between Jake Thunder and Brian Payne outside a nail salon. Shortly after that, HC Davos played against the Warsaw Predators, setting up a match up between Payne and Thunder. It was perfect. The second period started and every pass Payne attempted was intercepted by Thunder. And then shortly after a Davos goal, Payne lost another puck and went after Thunder. It didnt take Thunder long to put Brian Payne in his place, “Thunder beats up Payne,” sending both players to the penalty box. I took a screenshot of the fight and sent it to Scurvy. All Scurvy could reply was, “Ha ha. I was tired.” Yeah Scurvy, you were tired all right. Tired of Brian Payne losing the puck to Jake Thunder. Bam! The rivalry continues. The next topic is about the VHL this first week. WTF! HC Davos is supposed to be in first place, leading the European Division, but instead Davos is bringing up the rear and a rebuilding team, Helsinki is in first place. It doesn’t make any sense. Davos GM Alex, has tweaked the lineup, which seems to have helped a little. Now we just have to play some more games so that Alex can continue to analyze and make further adjustments he sees fit to bring Davos up in the standings. As far as Helsinki goes, who the hell knows what their problem is. They should be in the lower part of the rankings but instead they have the best record in the VHL. They have no skaters over 1000 TPE. They only have two defenders. But, they do have a sick goalie in Xavier Booberry. His save % is like .938 and probably won’t get any lower. Now to the traffic anecdote. Granted, this isnt even close to the entertainment that Spartan provides on his podcasts involving the Jersey drivers but here you go. It just so happens that I have a traffic complaint. How simple is it to pull your dumb ass out of the roadway instead of blocking traffic just because you want to make sure the police see that you were rear ended. Last week, I left the house and when I got to the major street I noticed quite a bit of traffic. Often times there is steady traffic on this north/south street, but this time the traffic was quite slow. As I pulled up to the stop sign, I saw the issue. Two cars were stopped in the north bound lane and the driver in the front car was standing on the passenger side of her vehicle on her cell phone with her free arm flailing around. The northbound traffic was stopped behind this mess while they waited for an opening in the southbound lane to go around the two cars. While I sat there waiting for a clearing, the second car in the pile up moved to the right shoulder, but the dingbat in the first car continued to provide quite a show. Traffic got so backed up that the northbound drivers decided to make a run for it into the southbound lane, even when cars were coming south. I almost got to witness a head on. After waiting for over two minutes, I clearly saw that there it was going to be quite difficult for me to get into the southbound lane so I turned around and found another route. To finish this story, 30 minutes later I completely forgot about the arm flailing ignorant driver until I was coming north on the street to make my right turn towards my home. There she was, the flamboyant bitch, standing on the side of the road screaming at the traffic cop who was smart enough to have the car moved out of the lane of travel. I so badly wanted to use the Eddie Murphy saying in the movie “Trading Places,” which is, “Excuse me officer, might I suggest using your nightstick.” But instead I shook my head and drove home. 915 words

Press Conference Week ending 09/18/2022 (Answer Questions for 2 Capped TPE!) 1. The first week has passed and it looks like we have some improvement. What do you recommend? 2. Are you happy with your player’s performance thus far? 3. Our tough guy has been intimidating this season. What impact does Womp Womp Womp .. have against the opponents and will Womp Womp Womp .. be the hit leader again next week? 4. Nikolas Kauppi leads the team in points and is at an amazing 15.22% shot percentage. Can Nikolas continue that pace? What do you want to say to Nikolas? 5. How have you been doing with the Trivia questions thus far? 6. What is your favorite holiday?

1. Have you ever re-watched an NHL hockey game? If so, why? Cant say that I have, but its possible I went back to watch a specific play. 2. What team (Aside from Davos) do you think will win the VHL playoffs? Chicago is doing better than I thought and might surprise us all 3. Which NHL team do you think will have the best reverse retro jersey this season? No clue and dont really care 4. Which attribute do you think contributes most to a Michigan goal? That would have to be stick handling, otherwise you couldnt flick the puck 5. Do you like how your player has been performing so far to start this season? Not really. We arent winnning enough. Team wins is more important 6. Which currently unsigned NHL player are you surprised doesn’t have a contract yet? I dont pay attention to contracts. And I dont care. 7. If hockey sticks were banned from the hockey league, what do you think players would use instead? Cricket bats 8. Do you follow wrestling? If so, what do you think of the CM Punk stuff? Not since Chief Jay Strongbow, Andre the Giant, and Killer Kowalski 9. Have you ever seen a band perform live? If so, which band was it? Marshall Tucker Band, Rolling Stones, Queen, Meatloaf, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Aerosmith, Boston, J Geils Band, Doors, Styx, Black Sabbath, Culture Club

Cant wait Payne. No need to put the gloves on, just leave them off!! How’s your nose? Still broke. thought I saw a fly on it. Didnt mean to tap you so hard!

The Warsaw Predator star enforcer carries himself on the ice with confidence and prowess, seeking out opponents and punishing them with heavy hits. Predator fans come to watch the “Payne Train” roll over the enemy with bone crushing hits, often times winding up in the penalty box. Payne led the league in penalty minutes last season and judging by his off-season training its likely he will be on top again. The Predators home crowd sing and chant for Brian Payne to step on the ice at the beginning of each period, and continue until the puck drop. It has become a new tradition. In fact, the fans have renamed the penalty box. It is now the “Train Station.” Off the ice, Brian Payne is anything but a punisher. He’s frequently seen at the local Warsaw pubs with a Whiteclaw in his hand, or a apple-tini at his table, snacking on tofu chips and melted cheese balls. On the ice, Brian Payne is the engine. Off the ice, he’s the caboose. Bring it!! 2 TPE 177 words

https://imgur.com/w9RBb2G