JardyB10

I think LA takes Emeritus to replace aging Dimmadome 1st overall, and Vancouver traded up to make a show of drafting the Reinharts back to back, imo I do agree that Vancouver and Davos wouldn’t draft Beketov even if he was available, though. That would be extremely fortunate for Moscow!

Honestly I LOVE #2, but part of me is a little upset seeing a Yukon and Warsaw player hold the same Cup, haha. BUT! I also admire breaking away from the standard "split the banner in half horizontally with two separate graphics" template. I'm happy to overlook logic in favour of creativity now and then! EDIT: Also #1 DIDN'T EVEN DO A LOGO SWAP ON THE YUKON PLAYER'S HAT, FUCKING AMATEUR!

#DoItForAhma

He doesn’t just go into the draft? This crazy league!

Well the SINGLE easiest way is the VHLM Practice button on the Update Player page that directs you to the portal. That one gives you a free 2 TPE every week until you reach the big leagues (at which point it makes you 1 TPE a week). Similarly, there's a Welfare button that can give you 4 TPE, but you're not able to do 6 point Point Tasks if you use that, so I'd personally only use it if you don't have time to do a standard point task (or if you simply really don't want to!) Once you're on a team (which you will be drafted on Sunday!), you can participate in Team Press Conferences, where you simply just have to answer some questions for 1-2 points. Alternatively you can hit up the Player Press Conferences and either ask or answer questions in one of the threads: https://vhlforum.com/forum/393-press-conferences/ While we're on that subject, pretty much all the weekly Supplemental Point Tasks are pretty quick and easy IMO. Other than that, you're main and most effective method of earning points are through the 6 Point Tasks. They don't have to take terribly long, but they do require the most effort for the most part. I'm personally a fan of doing the Podcasts because it allows me to speak to myself uninterrupted for extended periods of time!

Welcome @CV38, let us know if/when you have any questions, the community will be jazzed for the opportunity to help out.

Poopy Peepants beats up Tynan Sylvester at 2:22 of 2nd period Take that, Sly! @diamond_ace

Is this being simmed with the V3 engine?

Yeah I don’t think that was there 3 years ago! To be fair, you weren’t really that far off! You got the second most votes on the ballot, so that was far from my worst prediction, haha

*LISTENER DISCRETION IS ADVISED* The fucks are flowing freely this episode. https://anchor.fm/jardy-b/episodes/The-Chodesode-12-Accidental-Pre-Award-Ceremony-e14h2ou Today I talk about: - Scats and vaxes - How (un)successful my award predictions will be - BigAl blue team Amusingly enough, I fell onto this subject not realizing the award ceremony is tonight. Mentions: @bigAL @Victor @Josh @Zetterberg @Ricer13 Mentions in passing: @Banana2311 @Quik @Beketov @.sniffuM @Banackock @Phil

Listen, I didn’t say I wasn’t also extremely jealous. Kids these days have it easy, they don’t know what it was like to be playing Gameboy in the backseat on a long car ride home, with the visibility of the screen slowly fading, and once you can’t see anymore you turn on the interior lights, only for your parents to kaibosh that because THEY can’t see while they’re driving, so now you’re fucked and Mario Land doesn’t have save points. IT WAS BULLSHIT!

2/3rds of the party were too horny for the SP.

I hold similar opinions but opposite, as I’m even more of a boomer than Muffins and Hylands and everyone was so dismissive of the original Gameboy and I didn’t know a majority of the Nickelodeon shows they mentioned, even though I was a big fan of Nickelodeon.

Hard hitting documentary

I didn’t hear you mention the title ever. 9 but actually 8 maybe. Anyway, you’re all babies. I actually had access to those American channels because we used to pirate DirecTV, which was pretty dope.

I do podcasts every week, so perhaps I can adapt them…

He did not participate in battles, but Victor Jr. may have. I actually intended to try to get VJ killed like that, but I didn't micromanage it enough, and that was probably for the best. Acydburn and VJ are BFFs, which doesn't make him threatening. I can't say the same for Paris Revolution and Robbie Zimmers, other new landowners.

Part 1: Victor Alfredson Hello everyone. As you all know, the VHL is introducing a third league, run by the likes @Victor and @Acydburn. This league will be based in Europe, and will be housing teams in Vasteras, Stockholm, Berlin, Cologne, Bratislava, and Paris. It's an exciting new change in the greatest sports simulation league on the Internet. However, have you ever wondered about the history of the VHLE? How these two commissioners rose to power, and how they came to establish franchises in these cities to begin with? You may have read some false interpretations in the past, but I'm here to give you a detailed and lived-through tale through the ages. It all began with this man here; Victor Alfredson, more commonly known as alfie_forever: Yes, he claims to be Grey Eminence, but that's just something a slimy Intricate Webweaver like himself WOULD say, isn't it? Intrigue is his strong suit, driven by his ambitious, arrogant, and cynical ways. He's a quick young lad though, and has a fascination for history. Also he's a giant because @a_Ferk said so. Victor's origins were always subject to mystery. Yes, he lives in England or some shit, but as a bit of a historian myself I know the boy is actually Latvian. Thus our journey begins in his homeland of Riga, on January 1, 867. A humble yet privileged double count, Victor makes his court in Riga, under the oppressive yoke of the Duke of Courland. As a boy, he would often go on trips with his papa on the Baltic Sea. It was there he saw what he knew would be his life's work: Vasteras. But the vicious Duke of Uppland is far too great a foe for a young Victor to take on now, and even if he were able to, he would be taking land in the name of his liege. Victor needed to grow, and gain his independence. To do that, he needed allies, and a wife and children to carry on his legacy. He appealed to the High Chiefton Palemon of Lithuania to the south, a man controlling nearly 1300 troops. However, Palemon refused Victor the hand of his daughter, saying that he had no interest in allying with a lowly count. Victor could not believe the blatant disrespect. Realistically, this Lithuanian Chief is hardly more powerful than he! Alfredson intended to prove it, and he will conquer Europe all by himself if he had too. He started his conquest eastward, seizing Jersika from his neighbour. His first Victory, but certainly not his last. He continued fighting eastward, picking off lowly tribal leaders one by one, consolidating their land, and preparing for his independence. Once he pushed up against the Russian kingdoms, he turned his eye north to Estonia. In under 6 years, Victor was rapidly growing, although he was still only considered a Count. Courland possessed his de jure title of High Chief, so it was time to show Chief Kodere who the real power of these region really was. Early expansion was going well, but he was in his 20s now, and he had no one to pass his legacy onto. Duke-level leaders still refused to arrange marriages with him, and frankly he was already becoming too powerful for them anyway. That's when he found the woman who would change the course of his lineage forever: Urve. Urve was an Estonian woman residing north of him in Livonia. She was scholarly, sadistic, and deceptive, like a female alfie_forever. More importantly, she had a genius IQ that would be perfect for his bloodline. His rapid expansion and marriage of foreign psychos didn't sit well with the locals though. They rebelled, and after a brief month Victor got his first opportunity to demonstrate what happens to traitors. The bloodlust sent Victor and Urve into a passionate frenzy, and before long, Urve was pregnant with her first and only child: Victor's genius prodigal son, Acydburn. Keep in mind, I said this was URVE'S only child. Now would be a good time to mention Victor's ancient religion, Vidilism. Like many other tribal religions, it allows for concubines. Somewhere along Alfredson's conquering, he picked up one such concubine, and unfortunately it wouldn't be his last. Very shortly after his son's birth, one such woman came to him with similar news, and just over a year later, she gave birth to a boy who was Alfie's spitting image. Victor's children will play a major role in his story going forward. In the meantime, it was clear his heir was going to grow up to do great things. Meanwhile, he did all he could to make sure his second son, Victor Jr., was well groomed to allow his brother to manifest his destiny. In the above images you might have noticed some shit going on. Not all was smooth sailing in Latvia, as the big mean Novgorodian Kingdom had their eyes set on Estonian land, a war Victor regrettably had to concede in order to focus on easier conquests. One day Russia will pay for this crime, but St. Petersburg never got a team, so that will be an opportunity for a future Alfredson. After recovering from the near death experience that is the common cold in his 30s, Victor met and fell in love with an absolutely gorgeous red haired barmaid called Liga, a beautiful name that reminded him of his homeland. She suffered from some severe congenital scoliosis, but Victor didn't care. He loved laying with this beauty, and was confident the gods would favour him and give him a couple of quick, beautiful children, who weren't plagued by their mother's deformity. This did not happen, and it turns out, Liga was very, VERY fertile. Their first child would be a comely young man, but also big and deformed. What better name for such a child than Paris Revolution? Speaking of children, the gallant Acydburn would come of age as a fine lad, and meanwhile Liga would continue pumping out siblings for the future king. After Paris Revolution was another giant hunchbacked child, with none of the comeliness of his brother. I must have forgot to get a photo, but this child was naturally named Robbie Zimmers. Very soon after that, Liga became pregnant again, to yet another boy. It Really did not Stop, though. With Victor's progeny getting out of control, he figured it was time for his best son Acydburn to get in on the action, and he arranged a marriage between the boy and a middle aged Amazonian commoner named Zwenislava. Meanwhile, Victor Jr. reached adulthood as a competent warrior, Liga gave birth to alfie's first daughter, Janelle. While no photos were recorded of the event, Victor was able to re-establish the old Kingdom of Estonia as the Kingdom of VHLE. With his new political placement, he was able to put one of his disappointing children to use to shore up an alliance with the only real (external) threat to his goals, Novgorod. A fun side note I forgot to mention earlier: Not only was Victor having several legitimate children, he was also at one point cucking one of his vassals, as he had taken his wife as a lover. In secret, Victor and the Lady Jersika had three children, all of whom were passed off as legitimate. It is around this era that his vassal dies, and his secret bastard daughter inherits the land. Speaking of inheriting land, Victor finally decided it was time to put his immense skills in subterfuge to work, and modify the Novgorodian line of succession a little bit. While it wouldn't necessarily be beneficial to see his grandson inherit the largest bordering kingdom to his, and in fact could be dangerous to his main line of grandchildren, he thought it would be an okay idea to at least allow for that possibility. Thus it came to pass that the Novgorodian heir tragically died in the woods, bumping Paris Revolution's wife up in succession slightly. Speaking of childhood prospects, Victor and Liga had yet another son that I completely forgot about. Historians believe this overwhelming amount of children in his court led the King of the VHLE to pursue new hobbies. These hobbies did not prevent Victor and Liga from having even more children... ...however, Riga getting beseiged by Prussians did: Jaime and Cersei Alfredson would be the last children Victor was able to have. Not just because his extremely fertile concubine of 15 years perished, but the stress of that event, as well as the stress of being attacked by Prussians at all, in conjunction to Victor's gigantism, led to an inevitable conclusion. On March 3, 903, Victor Alfredson, First of his Name, King of the VHLE, consolidator of the Baltics, and pursuer of Sweden, drew his last breath. Victor was truly one of the greatest conquerors of his generation. Had he lived until he was 70, he may have been able to re-establish the Baltic Empire in the name of the VHLE, and perhaps even achieved his goal of establishing the league in Vasteras and Stockholm. However, this was a dream that is to be inherited by his son, Acydburn. Sadly, this is not the only thing Acydburn inherited. While Victor was a fearsome ruler, he was not without his blindspots. He took so much land from Lithuania in his pursuit of re-establishing an empire, that he did not realize he was in possession of enough de-jure counties to re-establish the Kingdom of Lithuania. Thus, on his passing, due to extremely dogshit and archaic laws, half of his kingdom, the Kingdom of VHLE was passed on to his heir. The other half, Lithuania, went to Victor Jr. With their Kingdom divided, the Alfredson dynasty have taken a big leap backward in their goals to take over Europe, and establish the VHLE as the Empire it was destined to be. Will Acydburn truly go to war with his beloved brother Victor Jr. to reclaim what should rightfully be his? And what of his not-so-beloved brothers, Paris Revolution and Robbie Zimmers? Will their ambitions help or hinder Acydburn in his quest to take over Sweden? Find out next time on CK3: The Rise of the VHLEictator!

Bring the commies back to our original glorious dodger blue, and demote the admins to Piss Yellow or something like they deserve.

@scoop strikes me as someone who goes to bed too early to make this worth your while though...

Yeah I think I could fuck with this. I'm on about every day, and this job probably lets me dickle with it briefly at night with no real hard deadlines. I'm in!

The 9 points is very good, but Winter led goals, and was top 10 in GWG and Hits, so he was an all around threat. But also he ragequit sooo

I’M SURE HE WOULD! But I like the forwards better.

Honestly I’m conflicted. I do think Winter has the edge here, and Sonnet is a very nice boy. But he also completely cut ties here, and I’d rather someone who’s actually here to enjoy the award. And it’s not like the other candidates aren’t deserving… I’m not sure who to pick!

Damn, Dan Dan!