JardyB10

1. Our first week or so of sims hasn't been remarkable, but it has brought us some wins, which is more than we've been used to lately. What are your first impressions for this season as a whole? I've been pretty impressed honestly! On paper I honestly don't think we're QUITE as good as some of the other teams in the league, but so far the standings have begged to differ. Even when outshot we haven't really been blown out yet, so I see no reason why we can't succeed in playoffs as well. 2. How do you feel about your individual production so far? Quite badly! I wasn't expecting that strong of a season from Poopy, but he's doing even worse than expected. I think that partly has to do with where he falls on the depth chart, and partly due to his training being a bit incomplete and inefficient right now, so it is what it is. I'm already penning myself for a Funk Trophy next season. 3. What's your best hot take for this season, unrelated to Davos? Contrary to their current success, Vancouver and D.C. will both miss playoffs 4. Have you been watching the Olympics? If so, what have you seen? No I have neither cable nor time nor a strong enough interest. 5. What's an underrated YouTube channel you think everyone should know about? Probably not underrated in some circles, and perhaps not that good in the rest, but I really enjoy Alt Shift X's videos. His most popular ones are Game of Thrones/ASOIAF related, but he'll occasionally do a topic completely unrelated to popular media that I enjoy just as much, if not more. 6. What's the last thing you ate? I just finished eating some Chicken Bacon Ranch and Buffalo pizzas, which after ordering, I woefully realized they're basically the same pizza with different sauce. Oops.

Mention in passing: @Berocka

*LISTENER DISCRETION IS ADVISED* A foul mouthed chodey sode. https://anchor.fm/jardy-b/episodes/The-Chodesode-14-Welcomes-and-a-Goodbye-e159du9 Two days ago I discussed: - My new collab with Big Albert - An end of an Era on the podcast - Welcoming new players - Maybe other stuff I forgot Mentions: @Zetterberg @bigAL @Elbapo @Jellydiot @MetalToday @rylan1474 @Lane/ @LaneTrain @VHLM GM

Oh shit, I actually scored a goal!

If I was GM I would respect you more. I’d say “Bananadick is a cuck, great work! We needed to knock Seattle down a peg!” And then I’d predator handshake you and give you a 3rd for Elsby.

I think it would have been funny if Helsinki BETRAYED Seattle and didn’t complete part 2!

Damn that’s a good deal. But did Elsby WANT to play for Seattle!? If so, why not sign there??

Also @Tate I just realized Zamboni Driver had already been selected If you want Markus Emerson Jr I’m totally okay with that

I’ll just go crazy and tag @bukss_a too since y’all have different positions to select anyway. Doesn’t really matter who goes first. I’m the usurper group manager someone pay me.

1. (one skip) bukss_a F - Chris Reynolds F - Muffbeav F - D - Robin Galante Nilsson D - Chris Hylands G - Doug Dimmadome 2. (one skip) BladeMaiden (Group Manager) F - Aloe Dear F - Venus Thightrap F - Valtteri Vaakanainen D - Scotty Kaberle D - Micah Adrienne G - 3. (one skip) Jtv123 F - Christian Mingle F - Luke Thornton F - Cabe McJake D - General Zod D - Kosmo Kramerev G - Zamboni Driver 4. JardyB10 F - Groovy Dood F - Taro Tsuijmoto F - Addison McLaren D - Hard Markinson D - Zeedayno Chara G - Markus Emerson Jr 5. Matt thunder F - Isau Damoose F - Lee Xin F - Patrik Laine D - Kasper Kankkunen D - Linus Zetterstorm. G - Thadius Sales 6. Tate F - Red Lite F - Duncan Idaho F - Dakota Lamb D - Alex Letang D - L G - Zamboni Driver The order got weird there but it’s @BladeMaiden for real now.

You guys need more country music in your intros, and luckily for you I have just the suggestion. https://youtu.be/D_zS_uiPWxs

None of this incoherent nonsense is true you shrimp, I’m your real dad.

I forgot I talked shit about @WentzKneeFan036 this ep so I better summon him

Thank you, that’s really why I put the word “pants” in my player name.

By the way, as you can see, these rulers and their kids are constantly pumping out babies, so feel free to throw out baby name suggestions.

Part 2: The Reigns of Acydburn and Victor II Alfredson Hello, and welcome back to story of House Alfredson, history nerds. It's been a minute. In our last chapter, the founder of House Alfredson, Victor I, rapidly expanded from his humble dual counties to take possession of the de jure kingdoms of Estonia (now known as the primary Kingdom of the VHLE) and Lithuania. So efficient was the expansion of the VHLE that he did not even realize he had conquered the Lithuanian Kingdom. Thus, on his death, the realm was divided between his two eldest sons: Acydburn and Victor Jr, aka Victor II. With Acydburn being the eldest and wisest of Victor's children, he was meant to inherit all of his father's most important titles. Splitting the Kingdom was a surefire way to cause discord in the family. However, it is worth noting that Acydburn and Victor Jr. got along quite well as kids. In fact, they were best friends. Still, the realm is stronger when it's together. Indeed, it did not take long for the vultures of the rest of Europe to scent the death and disorganization within the league. The Duke of Pinsk was quick to take advantage of the new King Acydburn being pre-occupied with the Prussian revolt. The bright spot to this time though, was the birth of a brilliant heir and his twin sister. Of course, even this bright point of the Alfredson dynasty is immediately shaded as the legitimacy of these children would soon be called into question. Of course, young Jardy inherited Acydburn's genius, so OF COURSE he is legitimate. Still, this scandal would make it easier for his subjects to conspire against him and his family. For the crime, Chieftain Rusins found his way into a dungeon for the rest of his life. Giltine was also imprisoned, but was released soon after this shameful incident. While King Acydburn was incensed at the transgression, he respects keeping his family's bloodline powerful, and his wife's Amazonian figure played a role in that still. Other than Pinsk, it was clear that Acydburn's younger siblings were going to be an issue. Some of his vassal supported This Really Needs to Stop, while Robbie Zimmers unsurprisingly began rallying support for his own claim. After the first couple of rebellions, Acydburn managed to conquer a couple of Lithuanian counties around his brother's Kingdom to continue expanding his father's creation. It was at this point that the Duke of Greater Poland attacked. It was all the VHLEian armies could do, but they were repelling the Polish forces, and had the upper hand in the war. However, while the VHLEian troops were out campaigning, raiders from Sweden invaded the capital of Riga, and stole Acydburn's sister, Janelle, and she was forced to become the concubine of a Scandinavian reaver. To make matters worse, on June 7, 912, the VHLE suffered a devastating defeat at the battle of Plock. However, in a twist of what may have been good fortune, two of the King's many brothers, Paris Revolution and This Really Needs to Stop, were slain in combat. While this may have been a blow to the Alfredson lineage, it may have been a blessing in disguise, as treason from these brothers was inevitable. While some Alfredsons exited this world, others entered it anew. Acydburn's second son, Jason "Ace" Alfredson, was born on August 18, 913. Just because Acydburn lost two of his brothers, didn't mean issues with his family were through. The first was the matter of Janelle, which turned out to be a simple one. Not wanting to suffer the indignity of a foreign barbarian having his way with his sister, Acydburn sent assassins to Sweden to do away with his sister's oppressor. During this time, it became clear that Robbie Zimmers was becoming a problem at court. Meanwhile to this point, Acydburn and his brother and bestie Victor Jr. had been allies. It had been said that while King Acydburn coveted his brother's kingdom, he did not have to heart to raise a hand against him, either with a sneaky assassin or in the field with his armies. Victor initially had issues conceiving children, and it is possible his brother was hoping he would naturally succumb to his gigantism before he could produce any issue. Eventually though, Victor II brought many fertile concubines into his court, and the children started coming. Acydburn did not want to raise a hand against his brother, but his brother's children were another story. Despite this scandalous mishap, Victor and Acydburn continued to be great friends. Blood is thicker than other blood, after all. Speaking of blood, it wasn't long before King Acydburn began following in his father's footsteps in both conquering new lands and having too many children. His brother intended to do the same, but the King of the VHLE was always one step behind him with a knife and a poisonous snake. The stress of both creating and destroying babies was getting to the elder king. Fortunately he had his brother to comfort him in times like these. Unfortunately, this comfort couldn't stop the horrible cycle. At this time, Victor II was heavily depressed from his children constantly getting bitten by snakes to death and stuff like that. His habits turned unhealthy, and on August 4, 921, he drank himself to death. His two remaining children would succeed him, but he wouldn't live long enough to see them get killed under mysterious circumstances. "I had to do this. I had to do this." Words that VHLE co-founder would say to himself over and over and over throughout his life. Victor Jr. had only child remaining, Queen Maija of Lithuania. She learned of the plot to murder her, so her court was on high alert to any assassination attempts. However, they were not on alert for abduction attempts. Acydburn imprisoned the young queen, locked her in the deepest darkest dungeon, and began waiting for her demise. Historians believe the guilt of murdering so many of his BBFF's young children drove him to choose the pious lifestyle that would become the true hallmark of his rule. But we will get into that later. For now, we will visit the heir to a Kingdom that will soon be bigger than the one Victor I founded. Jardy was raised with the classic Alfredson trait of arrogance, and soon enough he grew up to be a competent military commander, which was a departure from his ancestor's more subtle ways of dealing with the VHLE's enemies. Unfortunately, the boy was cursed with shyness, a trait that will cause him trouble in the future. But that is a story for another chapter. For now, let's continue watching the Alfredson dynasty multiply in many interesting ways: Indeed, King Acydburn was not content enough to make his own dynasty far too large, so he had to infiltrate his blood into one of his vassals as well. In late 927 AD, the VHLEian King fell ill. He would recover from this illness, but at age 50, he was only two years younger than his father when he passed. Add on to the fact this his brother Jaime would later die in a duel, and his niece Maija would die in his dungeon, and he began to fear his own mortality. These events would contribute to his forming his next big goal: reforming the Vidalist religion. With the death of the last of Victor Jr.'s children, the VHLE finally reached new heights of its size and power. Meanwhile, Jardy Alfredson was already doing what his family did best, and began having way too many kids with his wife Titti. His eldest child, Terrance Fong, was born July 1, 927. Several more children followed, including one from Acydburn's other child, Based. He would sire a nearly perfect daughter, and name her aptly. As though the gods agreed with this notion of there being too many Alfredson children, the fates would have it that young Boulet would be murdered by an unknown schemer. Was it one of his own brothers or cousins? Or perhaps it was his uncle Robbie Zimmers? We will never know. What we do know is that Zimmers was leading a rebellion against the crown at the time of the murder. It may have been an attempt to rattle the VHLE King, and make his health suffer just as Victor Jr's did. Zimmers and his faction were eventually defeated, disbanded, and imprisoned. Over the course of the war, Acydburn would fall gravely ill, as cancerous growths would begin to plague his entire body. His physician's efforts to save his life would prove futile, as even the removal of his entire leg would not extract the murderous cells. King Acydburn was at the end of his life, and he knew it. He spent the last of his energy empowering the government for his son Jardy, beginning some building projects in Riga, and of course, reforming the Vidilist religion. This new religion would have an emphasis on conversion and conquest. Followers of Vidilism will now get restless during peace time, preferring to invade their neighbours to sacrifice them to the gods. While King Acydburn wasn't quite a pious enough man to reform the religion to every specification he desired, this new cult will pave the way for his family to grow as far as his father dreamed. \\ With nearly everything in place before his passing, Acydburn finally turned his attention to the rebellious lords who rallied behind his traitorous brother, Robbie Zimmers. Before he had a chance to mete out justice to all involved, King Acydburn was dealt one final setback... One month later, on October 28, 939, in the midst of another rebellion, King Acydburn succumbed to his wounds and affliction. Both kingdoms he worked so hard to unite passed on to his son Jardy, who apparently got severely disfigured during his father's campaigning. Armed with a brilliant strategic mind and a new minted militant religion, Jardy was poised to lead the VHLE to even greater heights than the realm had ever known, perhaps finally across the water and into Sweden. However, his Uncle Robbie Zimmers was still on the loose, and Jardy suffers from much the same problem as his father did; having too many siblings. Will Jardy rise above his ancestors, or will the deluge of rebellious vassals and ambitious neighbours lay him low? Find out next time on CK3: The Rise of the VHLEictator!

I didn't mention it at the time, but big props for following through with the weeping Marchand picture. It was hilarious and on brand!

@Jtv123 I gotta skip ya bud 1. (one skip) bukss_a F - Chris Reynolds F - Muffbeav F - D - Robin Galante Nilsson D - Chris Hylands G - Doug Dimmadome 2. (one skip) BladeMaiden (Group Manager) F - Aloe Dear F - Venus Thightrap F - Valtteri Vaakanainen D - Scotty Kaberle D -Micah Adrienne G - 3. (one skip) Jtv123 F - Christian Mingle F - Luke Thornton F - Cabe McJake D - D - G - 4. JardyB10 F - Groovy Dood F - Taro Tsuijmoto F - Addison McLaren D - Hard Markinson D - Zeedayno Chara G - 5. Matt thunder F - F - Lee Xin F - Patrik Laine D - Kasper Kankkunen D - Linus Zetterstorm. G - 6. Tate F - Red Lite F - F - Dakota Lamb D - Alex Letang D - L G - @Matt thunder

Would you be annoyed if I gave you 100% creative control and direction? I suppose Poopy has fallen into the Brad Marchand render, but I'm certainly not married to it, especially if it would cause JC issues or if all his images suck or whatever.

I’ll be impressed if You can make it far past the middle track.

Of course, the only idea I forbid you to steal is recording your podcasts while driving, because I don’t think you’re old enough to drive.

Not quite the full mile, but I’ll take it

Welcome back @rylan1474, let me know if you have any questions or if anything is overly confusing.

Good call on not following strange men to their VHLM teams. I was quite pleased to have you play both for Canada AND David! I think your activity is solid, the important thing is that you’re having fun and not stressing about the league too much! I agree that we should kill the Americans. Move them to Colorado, or Elbow. Vancoucer is the only team I’m confident will miss playoffs in the NA, barring some major trades. Nice listen.

I’m happy you’ve been able to touch balls again When I started D&D I definitely went in with a video game mindset, therefore I was a classic murderhobo, haha. Calgary LR sounds dope, the team will always be #1 in my heart! I’m listening, Steve. You should be ashamed that you don’t know your captains! I’m a big podcast listener, so Philip is also a man after my own heart. Great listen, hope to hear more from you.