JardyB10

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We're EXTREMELY close to the season beginning (on time!) ladies and gentlemen, I'm just running one more test, and then getting kicked out of the library, so I'll sim and post when I get home. I'd like to thank everyone for their patience, and I'd like to SUPER thank Victor, Higgins, and everyone else who contributed to making the off-season going as smoothly as it did.

After a disappointing 2nd round playoff exit, it was going to be a long off-season for the Helsinki Titans. The team was aging, and it was time for a changing of the guard. Long time General Manager and expert rigger Mitchell Higgins stepped down in favour of player agent Vincent Wong, known for his representation of all-star Ethan Osborne. Before the change at the helm however, Higgins traded damn near every single player on the roster, including former 2nd overall pick Naomi Young. After round 1 of playoffs, Young proclaimed she had converted to the Faith of R'hllor, to smite Lord Davos and his subjects. This plan failed, and she was then awkwardly exiled to Switzerland to join her rivals. "I had mixed feelings about the ordeal, but then I realized the Dynamo have like, 4 or so of my Top 10 favourite people in the VHL. I took it as a sign that R'hllor is a false god, and have NOW decided to convert to the faith of the old gods. I took my vows under a heart tree just yesterday," said Naomi, an apparent zealot. The Dynamo are hoping to repeat as VHL Champions, having only lost Odin Tordahl in the off-season. This loss was offset by the acquisition of Young, and the roster was bolstered further with the free agency signing of Felix Zamora. Naomi ended the interview with, "We are going to fuck up some shit, even though this franchise is kind of gay."

For that, you take my vote for most average member. And another to Jackim since that seems to be the cool thing to do.

Thanks for the flattery everyone. In reality the list probably made the process longer, haha. But it's about to come in handy because the non-crossed out niggas are getting in on a drop party! MASSIVE DROP PARTY!

Well it'd be nice if VHLM turnover didn't always look like this

Yeah, eventually.

You paid for things on the Internet? What are you, honest?

I needed this.

GET TO THE FUCKING POINT, TV SHOW!

My life goal! But seriously, I could also show you a couple of my uncles, if they weren't busy being dead. I'm just actually quite lucky I just like partying more than I dislike booze instead of liking both equally.

Bitch, I may not be able to out-drink anyone on any given night, but that's mainly because I have mild-to-severe alcohol intolerance and will often burn up and, at a certain point, my body will just flat out reject anymore alcohol. This is because my body doesn't metabolize alcohol properly and it builds up too much acetaldehyde; a chemical doctors actually give people to TREAT alcoholism because it makes drinking so unpleasant. In simpler terms, I SHOULD be the best candidate for Least Alcoholic. If we're being technical, I don't think I could ever ACTUALLY become an alcoholic, because my body rejects it so badly, and I don't even particularly enjoy drinking it as a result... ...and yet I still do. Like, way too often. Obviously every weekend, but from November-December there was a solid 6-week streak of Wednesday/Thursday funfests sprinkled in addition. And then fucking January... 3-4, 10-13, 18, 21-25, and 31st, which worked me into a temporary -$300 deficit, lol (and I mean those are days I was intoxicated, not just having a casual drink. I don't often do that, so I don't count those). It also often negatively affects my VHL job performance and thus puts a strain on my VHL relationships. Typing that all out made me sad. SO IF THAT ISN'T ALCOHOLISM I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS! #drugsarebad

You can only earn points for your new guy, really. Sandow will remain on auto-pilot.

Nice! Welcome back ser!

The important thing here is that you were much better than Kellinger. #FuckKyle

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR

Who the fuck are you +1 for McAwesome Added Gifford Shock. Even though he's never actually been a player.

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