twists

Pls get a team then I'll tell Spartan to trade me to you or I'll retire

Today, Toronto decimated Los Angeles in a lopsided victory to win the North American Conference finals. The final score was 6 - 2 with an outstanding performance by Mac Atlas who scored 1 goal and 4 assists. Toronto really spread around the goals this game with no players scoring more than one. There were 6 goals all by unique players. This wasn't by accident as Toronto had 49 shots to Los Angeles' 33. Hopefully Toronto can pull of a Continental Cup!

Queefson ready to retire in order to get pension Eric Queefson has reported today that he "can't wait" to hit 700 TPE. We thought that was odd as players should have no sense of what TPE means, but Queefson seems to very much be in the know. He said, "yeah I hate making my creator do PTs, so I'm hoping to notch 700 TPE and retire to get 1/2 players needed for the VHL pension". We asked him why he would cut his career short like that for something known as a "VHL Pension", but he did not offer any further comment. We aren't completely sure what is happening, but it appears that Queefson has broken the third wall. The VHL has launched an internal investigation into how a player has learned about "point tasks" and "TPE". @Josh was quoted saying, "These are just stats on a spreadsheet, how the fuck have they become self aware?". This has become a very real threat to the VHL as a whole. If our players suddenly have sentience, what would happen if they stopped playing and created their own VHL? We'd have to start over completely and create a new VHL-verse. Happy birthday Josh, and happy birthday me

$5 donation Transaction ID: 2X422170G6712882K

free teeps pog

1. I think our MVP is you Steve 2. None, because we didn't beat many lol. 3. I don't really know. I'm notoriously difficult to buy for since I just buy the things I want/need myself 4. The euro division is always a cluster fuck during the playoffs so probably most of them happen there 5. Hmm, not especially. I can't say I've made an effort to watch any 6. I actually have no idea what Christmas dinner is looking like this year. My mom will do Eve, and my gf's parents will do day.

Damn my declaration of love is only worth $500!?!?!

Apparently trolling Spartan and gassing up Grape is my new vhl.com meta

Yeah, yeah. I was going for the most blatantly untrue points for humor value

Damn why you gotta come in here with your facts lmao

Reasons why Grape should take over as Moscow GM As we all know Spartan is very good at losing and I don't think Putin likes that very much. In a previous article I wrote about why he should be fired. I've found the perfect replacement, I think we should hire Grape. Here are my reasons why: 1. He actually wins in the VHLM. Our lord and savior Grape consistently has good results in the VHLM, without having to "rebuild" like our current GM Spartan. Rebuilding is only for losers and thus Grape gains the edge here. 2. Grape is seen as a leader in our locker room. Unlike Spartan, Grape provides valuable intel and feedback to players looking to improve. Spartan barely posts anything in our locker room and that leaves it almost completely devoid of activity. 3. Grape can actually commit time to the team. Unlike Spartan who holds like 3 or 4 jobs, Grape can focus solely on our team and make sure we have a winning atmosphere. Spartan is currently too busy being Grape's boss to actually run our team properly. @Grape

Sorry it was all supposed to be read in sarcasm. I didn't realize how much shit Moon and others had been getting. Bad timing, and I'm sorry @Moon

*angy twists complained here*

can’t believe I’m not tbh

it was a joke chill

EVERYONE BLAME @Moon!

cry

I got more total points than you

1. Well the Red Wings have Patrick Kane now...so that's weird as hell 2. I don't know I haven't paid any attention to the M or its players lol 3. Well, I had a great season for how average my player is. 55 points is great for my d man 4. Holiday season baby! Christmas decorations are going up this weekend (I'm late but was on vacation all of Thanksgiving) 5. yes, hes the best loser 6. $ucideboy$

I'll GM leggo

I will tell every member of the VHL that has been active in the past week that I love them live on stream. I don't know how anyone could turn this down

1. I did, I ate at Veselka in NYC (an extremely authentic Ukrainian restaurant). Absolute goat place to eat 2. Dude I bought so much shit I don't want to talk about it, but everyone's christmas presents are taken care of 3. I love losing its actually the best thing ever 4. Yeah, that Spart's mom isn't #1 5. I wish I could tell you that, but Spartan refuses to tell me what I should invest my TPE into 6. MAX VERSTAPPEN

@Moon

Jason why didn't you give me the job smh