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twists

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Everything posted by twists

  1. twists

    MAL/LAS; S93

    I just dont know how to play for anyone else
  2. Queefson decimating milf population in LA New arrival to the LA Stars, Eric Queefson, has been on a mission this season. Has it been about winning games? Of course not, but it has been about slaying milfs in the LA area. Queefson originally revealed his preference for older women in the LA Times, but no one really believed him until now. Hundreds of women have recently gone on the record stating that Queefson has given them the best nights of their lives. It has since been verified that one Friday after practice Queefson was able to take home five different milfs in one night. We asked Queefson for a comment on these accusations, but he only said "Which one of your female employees has kids and is 40-50 years old?". Naturally, we told him. He then ran through the list with ferocity we had never seen before. It was honestly impressive, and the commissioner of the VHL, Bary Gettman, winked at him and said nice job.
  3. Queef to LA Right before S92 of the Victory Hockey League took place, Moscow made a mind bending move. They traded Eric Queefson to the LA Stars for a first round pick. This has caused Moscow to severely downgrade in their defense going from a 700 TPE player to an under 400 TPE player. When asked for comment about this move, @Spartan said "I'm a bad GM, so naturally I make bad trades". Queefson was notified only minutes before the trade processed. When asked for comment, he responded, “He got me,” Queefson said of Spartan's trade of him. "That fucking Spartan boomed me". Queefson added, “He’s so bad,” repeating it four times. Queefson then said he wanted to add Spartan to the list of GMs he never plays for again. Luckily for @InstantRockstar Queefson seems to have made an impact immediately. LA sits atop the standings for the North American conference, while Moscow is sadly in 3rd place in the European conference. Queefson and LA eye a continental cup while Spartan sits in the corner crying about his zero cup wins.
  4. Gratz to my new captains I'm proud of you! You guys grow up so fast :')
  5. I vote for participation trophies
  6. Thanks Spart Spart I love you
  7. Malmo sneaks through the draft without problem Last night the VHL had its draft for S92, and it was a bit thinner than most expected. We've had our discussions about recruitment, and that is not what this post is about. This post is about how Malmo narrowly adverted disaster on draft night. Malmo's GM @KaleebtheMighty was out attending an NHL hockey game in person. Due to a time change, he wasn't aware the draft had started....and that's just the beginning of the problems. Normally an AGM would step in and help in this situation, but the newly appointed AGM twists, was fast asleep on his couch recovering from RSV that he had caught on his trip to Alabama. With both GMs dead in the water the first round had to go on. The pick got to Malmo and luckily @hylands was able to step in and save Christmas the draft for Malmo in the first round. He took our top scouted player, Gunnleifsson @JartY. Within the next few minutes twists woke up, and Kaleeb was alerted to the draft happening and things resumed without issue. Moral of the story? Make sure you have a Hylands for your team. Also, make sure your top scouted player falls to you in the first round.
  8. Should I just scam everyone like Bek with his bed time stories?
  9. I will apply :). I know AGMs get a bad wrap, but I just don’t have the time to do full GM activities. Hopefully that’ll change in the future, but for right now it’s why I like the agm role. Also da bears
  10. I’d love to join a VHL team as an agm. I don’t have the time to be a true Gm, but being an agm in the most competitive league would be a blast
  11. to think I've talked you up in my most recent .com articles smfh
  12. Reasons why having Riley Reid do an ad for the VHL is a great idea 1. Riley Reid has an absolute dump truck of an ass 2. we can temporary tattoo the VHL logo on her above stated fat ass 3. Sex sells, everyone does it 4. We can use deepfake technology to put @Victor 's face on the guy in one of her videos, with additional post-editing adding the VHL and VHLM logo on her nipples 5. Seeing Victor bang Riley will literally make everyone in the world want to join the VHL, so you can be just like him 6. This will open up new opportunities across different video sharing sites for us to promote the VHL 7. We can simultaneously live stream our draft lotto on both Twitch and Pornhub 8. Other pornstars will absolutely want the free exposure for doing a VHL ad and we'll be set for life @Moon and @Zetterberg I need you guys to get working on this asap. Just don't tell Spartan.
  13. I know I won't get it, but its worth an apply from me
  14. 1. I believe in Moon to win it all 2. Well, I'm a little late on this one, but I didn't expect either team tbh 3. It sucks but we all just have to earn. We're a pretty low TPE team so once everyone can add a few hundred more we'll be rolling 4. I wish it would be this upcoming season, but realistically it'll be S93 5. A drain is a pretty hype present, i just spend money on others. Although since my birthday and christmas are about a week apart I'll get myself a 2 hour massage as a treat 6. Yeah I'm pretty excited. I've been grinding GTA Online recently so I'm excited to see where that'll go in 6
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