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Claimed:Who is Edward Eldred?

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Who is Edward "You kiddies" Eldred?

 

Don't let the title fool you here folks; we have no actual evidence that Edward Eldred has any ties to those individuals who wait outside middle schools. However, we do know that the guy has an issue and it seems to be very evident in the way he writes and performs his business. Some of the people on this board do not know the story of Edward Eldred, nor do they know of incidents he has had on our board (former and before that). Well it turns out a good number of us do know Eldred from both the board and away from the board. Yours truly, Joey Kendrick might possibly have been the person to talk to Eldred the most, but that was more as a General Manager than an acquaintance away from the VHL. With all the information I have and as well as the dialogue I have from talking to him I will try to give you a bit of a run-down on the way this "character" thinks life should treat him.

 

After a good twenty-five-season absence from talking to Edward Eldred, he came back to our league with intentions of actually producing a very positive player. If I recall from my days early on in this league where Brett Slobodzian and I were teammates with Eldred, we met back in season four. Back then very few knew who Edward Eldred was and quite frankly very few knew who he was most recently until he lashed out. Eldred seemed to be very removed from the other members of this league because of the fact he seemed to post out of anger all the time. Edward lives in Australia and hopefully nowhere near our dearly beloved friend Boom. Eldred got into a disagreement in the Calgary locker-room back in season five which eventually caused him to retire. He had told Sterling, Slobo and I that we were all jerks and went on a rant about the team being assholes. It was the end of the Eldred era in the VHL days; or so we thought.

 

I started talking to Eldred for the first time in about four years back in February when he came back to the league. It was friendly at first and he actually asked me how I was doing twice before I even mentioned the league or trying to help him. Things started to turn pretty quickly though; within the month he started to lose interest because he didn't have a job in the league. The man had been in the league for a total of 30 days and was frustrated he didn't have a league job. 

 

Bz4tojf.png

 

The extent of me finding out anything about this mysterious dingo-loving member was very minimal. In the course of two months the conversations we had only led me to find out he was an Avalanche fan and that he quickly jumped to conclusions on his draft team's GM.

 

Quote

 

Looks like I’ve been drafted by a gm that doesn't care about the new draftee's

 

Or someone that is AWOL

- Edward Eldred

 

The above quote was actually sent to me when I was offline, and despite only 3 hours post draft he had already made that conclusion up. If you are wondering who the General Manager at the time was, it was Jason Glasser of the Calgary Wranglers. Now I can admit, Jason has a hard schedule at times and usually only checks the site on certain time frames, however Edward had already made his mind up. Within 24 hours of the above quote, he was offered a contract by Calgary. Correct me if I'm wrong though, Devise was the one who originally drafted Edward because Jason was absent from the draft. Eldred eventually sent a message to Jason explaining that he was unhappy and that conversation between us ended shortly after that. However, not before Eldred called me strange because I don't alcohol. (A possible foreshadowing in this ongoing mystery).

 

Edward was traded to Cologne less than 24 hours after that as simply a move to see what he could provide. I believed that giving people second chances was a legit and respectable thing to do. I knew for a fact he would retire if he was on Calgary, but if he got shipped off to where I was that he would stay semi-active. He started off in Cologne posting welfare like I expected and eventually he joined in on the fantasy predictions and such. Fast forward to the start of May, Edward sends me a rage filled message that really caught me off guard.

 

 

Quote

lol what a fucking joke

 

I put my hand up to help out at the vhl and the job goes to a older member, how did I guess that would happen

 - Edward Eldred

 

It almost seemed like in his eyes Eldred was doing us a favour by applying for any job he applied for. I'm not sure how the commissioners didn't see the effort this guy was doing to help this league out. (Read that last sentence very lightly). It is unclear what job he was applying for but I do know that Edgar was the member he was speaking about. At one point Edward was filling in by posting the VHLM game threads because we had a delay from someone (I think Higgins). He was called semi-active on the board and found that insulting because he posted the game day threads. All of this while still only claiming welfare each week and not even posting a VHL Fan article. He once again had something to say about more jobs applications that didn't pan out for him.

 

Quote

Hey man I'm out of the vhl. I can't be in a League in which friends get job positions and jobs are advertised but there are no interview questions

- Edward Eldred

 

 

Let's all just understand that this guy really really wanted a job, but didn't want to put the active work in to achieve an image good enough to get one. When Molholt got the VHLM Commissioner job instead of Edward Eldred, it almost seemed like the world was ending. The worst part is that Molholt would eventually leave the league, but at the time his hiring was the right choice because of his activity. Weeks went by shortly after and he seemed to find peace in just claiming welfare and posting in the fantasy threads. Off the board, I actually didn't hear much from Eldred. Fast forward again to the early stages of July where Eldred had an issue with his update thread. Frescoelmo had told Edward to provide links in his update thread like anyone else would have to provide. Eldred didn't understand how to post a direct link, he would link the general area of the welfare/pension plan. I eventually told him not to get mad at Fresco, as he was only doing his job and says the same to anyone not updating properly. Eldred told me Fresco doesn't need to give attitude to him and that he would just make it easy on him, he'd leave the league.

 

A week later he was still updating, so I approached him and asked if he was really gone or if he was just bluffing. He gave me some attitude when I asked him and huffed off in his own little Aussy way.

 

 

Quote

Well looks like my player won't be getting updated. All the best with the team man I'm finished for real this time

- Edward Eldred

 

 

 

A week later the above message was found in my inbox (July 15th). The reason for the comment was because Fresco had warned Eldred of his updating mishaps and he would only update if Edward did it correctly. Eventually Victor would come in and update Edward's thread, but he really didn't have too. Two weeks later Edward had updated training camp, VHLM achievement tracker and welfare in his thread. It was very apparent that he was not "finished for real this time". Three weeks go by and all was good, he was actually looking forward to getting enough TPE so he could come to the VHL and play with the Express. Then for some reason he went on one of his classic rants about the league and the ending result was his banning. The last thing he ever said to me was this:

 

 

Quote

 

Hey man. Sorry to do this but vhl has turned into nothing but a kiddies playground. Wish you all the best with it. I won't retire my player. But I'll update him till the start of next season then I'm done

Banned for what. Speaking my mind. Lol what a joke. And also I don't need to tone it down. The little kiddies with some power needs to. lol that's fucking funny on the forums hey, u know how easy it is for me just to create a new account there, and to continue to do it. just to piss everyone off

 

 

When it comes to the attack of the old forum, I can't positively say that Eldred was the culprit. The man had enough anger in him to perform something like that but I don't think he was smart enough to do something along those lines. Hell, I think he ran the counter at a pawnshop in Australia, so his intelligence from what I saw was that of an inbred from Alabama. Also he told me neither graphics or writing were his strong suits, so pumping out point tasks was impossible. If someone was to go back, I never truly defended him personally, but at times I tried to reason with him. In conclusion, I hope we all keep tabs on Boom so that he goes inactive it isn't because of a murder from Edward Eldred. We should also blame Frescoelmo for anything he did to piss him off.

 

av-6.jpg

 

*This media spot has a lot of sarcasm in it. Please don't take it seriously.

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If you would have told me you were doing this I could have added some interesting quotes from his time in Ottawa  :P

Go for it! Hasn't been graded yet. Just PM them to me

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Jericho

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Wait wasn't he also in the shortbus? I think Zero referenced him in the VHL 20 for 20 as the guy who posted "Fucking bullshit" in any game thread where his team lost, regardless of whether it made sense, and actually suspected riggery as a conspiracy against him.

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Victor

Victor 10,550

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Wait wasn't he also in the shortbus? I think Zero referenced him in the VHL 20 for 20 as the guy who posted "Fucking bullshit" in any game thread where his team lost, regardless of whether it made sense, and actually suspected riggery as a conspiracy against him.

he was briefly. He claimed rigging in Calgary in S5 and 'fucking bullshit' was in S18-19ish Helsinki.
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Jericho

Jericho 917

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I legit was called weird by 3 people n this board for that

 

You don't drink? That's so weird!!!!!!!!!!!

 

No but for reals, I don't see why others are about someone's life choices with alcohol.

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You don't drink? That's so weird!!!!!!!!!!!

 

No but for reals, I don't see why others are about someone's life choices with alcohol.

Exactly, I just don't like what it has done personally in my life. I know some had issues with that, which was funny. Keep in mind since the day I stopped drinking I've seen improvements in athletic performance, job decisions and more importantly sex drive. Boooo yak a sha

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In case it wasn't evident, I was being sarcastic. I don't actually think it's weird

Yeah I picked up on the sarcasm, was just explaining the case haha

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Toast

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Content: 3/3 - Oh Eldred, you certainly were an odd one. I was involved with some of the arguments involving him, like the VHLM Commish case. He certainly expected a lot that quite frankly I didn't think he deserved, and at the time it seemed like you were defending him. This article clears that up though. Fantastic read running through his return, I really enjoyed this!

 

Grammar: 2/2 - I got nothing, beautiful piece!

 

Appearance: 1/1 - Coloured quotes to break things up ftw.

 

OVERALL: 6/6

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Fire Tortorella

Fire Tortorella 2,653

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Content: 3/3 - Oh boy, Eldred. As his GM in the VHLM, I got to experience some of his temper as well. Everything was pretty much fine and dandy until I claimed Dabs Ondabs. I don't remember what set the two of them off, but once Dabs became a member of that "Sterling" thing, the two started going at it pretty good in the locker room. At that point, Eldred PMed me and said that he wouldn't play for Ottawa anymore if Dabs was still on the team, so I either had to trade him or trade Dabs. Ottawa was a bad team at the time, so I was thinking of trading Eldred anyway, but this was all the confirmation I needed to know I was making the right choice. At this time, he was shipped off to Minot, where I think he only posted in the locker room once or twice.

 

Back on topic, I thought it was a great media spot Kendrick. While we all knew Eldred a little bit, you obviously knew him the most on the site and were able to give us a better insight into his character. While it's never really a good thing to lose members, I think I can say quite confidently that he won't be missed.

 

Grammar: 2/2 - I only noticed one. Good job.

 

because I don't alcohol. = because I don't drink alcohol.

 

Appearance: 1/1 - Very nice.

 

Overall: 6/6

 

FINAL: 6/6

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