Phil 5,118 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 I've been hooking up with this 32 year-old woman recently. Pretty awesome time. She's a cousin of one of my long-time friends who I see pretty much every summer. It's all good right? Well I just found out she's married. With two kids. She's said she wants to spoil me. I'm all for fuck-buddies etc but this is...different... it's not like usual. And ofc, she won't leave me alone because, let's face it, I'm fantastic. Apparently, they are both unhappy with the marriage and the only reason they are together is because of the kids. I need to rid myself of this situation... pronto Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandro 251 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 play dead hehehehehe update: had more tequila, a beer, and now a mindfuck. not sure what's next. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,865 Posted July 12, 2014 Author Share Posted July 12, 2014 Probably a little bit of rape. And Phil you should just be like, "Yo, it's been fun, but...uhh....HEY! Look how handsome my brother is!" Then pawn her off on him and run away. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil 5,118 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 Haha nice sandro continue the updates. And Jardy... David is in England, so that fucker won't do any use. It's okay.. I have one of my close friend's gf's bday party to go to tomorrow at a club and she's bringing her friend and her friend's cousin - so I am totally going for the threesome there. Well I may as well tell you one of the stories about this one. So I live in Toronto. She lives in Oshawa, a couple of 'cities' over... takes about an hour to get to. Regardless, she texted me a couple weeks ago saying she was totally horny and was downtown in Toronto. Now I was exhausted from a long week but my penis is rarely exhausted (except for the minute after coitus). I had gotten home early that night (2:30am) and was all ready for sleepy time. But she kept texting me. I still live with my parents unfortunately but they don't really mind what I do as long as I'm not loud. My mum, like all mother's however is extremely nosey so sometimes it's better to kept things on the DL So I texted her back saying... fine but it's gotta be somewhere close to me. So she picked me up and we headed to the park at the end of my street. The high-school nostaglia washed over me. There is something absolutely charming about fucking in the backseat of a car, parked in a lonely park. It was great. Almost orgasmic.. because that's when the cops came. In desperation to put at least my shirt back on (I did it like a champion - inside-out AND backwards), I forgot about my pants. So the cop walked up to the steamed up windows and peered in. He asked if we had any ID... and i was like - SHIT i left it at home (in my head) and really didn't want to explain this to my parents without pants on... luckily - he asked me if I lived close by and just said "Now you gotta make like Michael Jackson and rape a child" Nah, he said: "and Beat It" - but the former would have been more amusing. So fuck that. We were cock-blocked by the longdick of the law. Until I was finished off in my own driveway. it jsut re-inforced the fact that I miss high-school Also now - yea, it's gotta be ended. JardyB10 and Knight 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandro 251 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 I'm currently trying to figure out what I can make with what I have because I found a bottle of Triple Sec. My bartender friend is on his way over so he'll know better than I. I'm talking to my sister on skype and shes in NYC soooooo thats its right now yeah just fucking end it. say you found some young pussy and you're moving on or something I dont know how women work my batting average is about 0000000000000000000000 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,865 Posted July 12, 2014 Author Share Posted July 12, 2014 Tell us more about your sister. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil 5,118 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 I haven't had a threesome all year so this will be exciting! Ofc, I am assuming the girls are hot. I haven't heard Lily say: "They're nice" so I think I'm in the clear. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandro 251 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 Tell us more about your sister. She's 16 dancing at the Bolshoi Ballet summer intensive. Now back the fuck off if you want to keep your balls where they are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandro 251 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 I haven't had a threesome all year so this will be exciting! wait wut. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,865 Posted July 12, 2014 Author Share Posted July 12, 2014 Even if they're average-looking, or even slightly below it, it's a threesome. That shit don't happen often. Also when does David get back? Me and my friend are seriously considering a road trip within the next year, I'd love to swing by. Also I have a friend who just went to London, she has big jams. David should bang her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,865 Posted July 12, 2014 Author Share Posted July 12, 2014 She's 16 dancing at the Bolshoi Ballet summer intensive. Now back the fuck off if you want to keep your balls where they are. Mmmmm prime...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil 5,118 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 Oh and sandro. triple sec mixed with hot sauce and clamato/v8 It's called Donkey's kick and although it;s the lame version of a prairie fire, it's still quite good! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil 5,118 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 David has no time frame on when he'll be back. He's lookin for jobs in ENgland. I should say: procrastinating from looking for jobs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tyler 885 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 David has no time frame on when he'll be back. He's lookin for jobs in ENgland. I should say: procrastinating from looking for jobs. probably when he gets deported ps: dope sig fuck robben and the country hes from Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandro 251 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 Oh and sandro. triple sec mixed with hot sauce and clamato/v8 It's called Donkey's kick and although it;s the lame version of a prairie fire, it's still quite good! will buy hot sauce and clamato/v8 soon then. maybe when my bartender friend shows up since he's sober. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandro 251 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 Mmmmm prime...... I WILL CASTRATE YOU IF YOU GO NEAR HER. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,865 Posted July 12, 2014 Author Share Posted July 12, 2014 THAT MAKES IT SO MUCH HOTTER Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil 5,118 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 That makes me wetter than a west african slut during monsoon season. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandro 251 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 NOW DRINKING A WHITE RUSSIAN. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil 5,118 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 sounds ghey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandro 251 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 My bartender friend says I didn't do it right but it didn't taste awful sooooooo yeh. Timmies run might be upcoming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,865 Posted July 12, 2014 Author Share Posted July 12, 2014 White Russians are the tits. Better than paralyzers if you ask me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandro 251 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 it was aight. he said I was missing the coke and it definitely would've helped. anwyhoooooooooooooooo time to sober up so I'm not hungover tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,865 Posted July 12, 2014 Author Share Posted July 12, 2014 Yayy, I get to acknowledge aforementioned succubus as soon as I finish simming and pooping. I think the best way to ease the tension is talk about the quality of shit I'm taking. Thoughts? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil 5,118 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 Pancreas, liver, kidneys and testes, All shall be tested tonight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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