Devise 4,475 Posted May 18, 2014 Share Posted May 18, 2014 Devise wakes up at 1 am, then decides at 6 am to drink an entire bottle of wine in the span of like an hour and a half. SMART DECISIONS! stevo 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AwfulHomesick 148 Posted May 18, 2014 Share Posted May 18, 2014 Got pretty tipsy at the Ring Of Honor/New Japan Pro Wrestling show last night at the Hammerstein Ballroom in NYC. My 21+ was cool enough to buy me some beers. Great experience overall. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seventy-Four 16 Posted May 18, 2014 Share Posted May 18, 2014 'cmon go 2 my 18 bday itll be fun' 'fk ur studing plz ur my bff' 'u wnt evn get drnk' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandro 251 Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 IM HALF DRUNK ALREADY FUCK YOU. BUT I FEEL IT WEARING OFF I NEED TO FIX THIS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tremblay 22 Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 Working on my car.... Did a bit more drinking than working tonight.... lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,834 Posted June 22, 2014 Author Share Posted June 22, 2014 Yes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
James 77 Posted June 22, 2014 Share Posted June 22, 2014 (edited) well tonight sucked... Edited June 22, 2014 by James Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,834 Posted June 22, 2014 Author Share Posted June 22, 2014 HOPEFULLY IN A GOOD WAY AMIRITE Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Admin Will 4,604 Posted June 25, 2014 Senior Admin Share Posted June 25, 2014 Yeah so tonight was pretty bad... Our prom party got cancelled by the cops last minute because of one dick complaining that he wasnt comfortable with it, so instead i was at some lame ass party out in the sticks.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,834 Posted June 25, 2014 Author Share Posted June 25, 2014 Pro Tip: Bring booze and get loaded with a decent group of friends, and even lame parties can be pretty fun. AwfulHomesick 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AwfulHomesick 148 Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Pro Tip: Bring booze and get loaded with a decent group of friends, and even lame parties can be pretty fun.i prefer this over big parties. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle 667 Posted June 25, 2014 Share Posted June 25, 2014 Should've partied in a field like we did for mine. Sure the cops came, but it was still a blast. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Admin Will 4,604 Posted June 25, 2014 Senior Admin Share Posted June 25, 2014 Yeah originally it was supposed to be in a field and then some cranky old RCMP officer that lives close by got it cancelled. Cops were waiting there and turning people around. As for the pro tip, the booze were on site and we definitely got loaded, but not much of a decent group of people tbh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,834 Posted June 26, 2014 Author Share Posted June 26, 2014 Then go to a bitch's house and rape her. Will and Molholt 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,834 Posted June 28, 2014 Author Share Posted June 28, 2014 WHAT THE FUCK JARDY WHY DIDN'T YOU SIM YESTERDAY LIKE YOU PROMISED? Well, I'd like to preface this by saying that if I had to make up the single most Fong-approved story I could think of, it would sound quite a bit like this. But this is real life. I'd also like to preface this story by saying I'm not blaming MapFreak. He did his job in a reasonably timely manner. I messaged him at 3:00pm asking if he was able to update everyone, and he replied that he was working on it, and he got it done by 5:30pm. If he had no life I would have started playoffs at 3:00pm that day, but alas. In the meantime, it was at exactly 5:30pm that my best friend picked me up from my house. I needed to catch a ride with him back to the farm. He was going back to our hometown for the high school grad party, of all things, because he's very good friends with one of the grad's family, and the grad's brother came out from BC to attend the party, so he didn't want to be the only old person drinking there (22). Anyway, he had to go back to his place in the city to shower and get ready yet, then to his mom's place in a town neighbouring ours to drop some shit off. So we didn't end up getting home until around 9:00pm, at which point he's like, "Hey, wanna come pre-drink with us?" I thought, "I probably shouldn't, but it would be amusing to get a bunch of 17 year olds drunk," so I agreed to it. So we're at the grad's house (who from now on I'll refer to as the Nidorans), and we're having a few beer, when they get a call from their cousin saying that he won't be able to make it to the grad party. Now, this boy already paid for his ticket and drinks, so now my friends are like, "DUDE YOU SHOULD TOTALLY COME TO THE GRAD PARTY." And I'm like "Motherfucker I was too old for the last grad party I was at, and that was three years ago." "But that $45 of ticket and whiskey are going to go to waste!" Fuck. Checkmate, friends. How can I pass up getting pissed for free with a bunch of teenagers? So I end up getting roped into that. Before we go to the party we share a joint, and play some beer pong with underage kids, it was a grand little time, and also kind of funny because five hours earlier my other optional ride to the farm from the city was with a cop. I was p bombed. And that became even more so when I got to the party. The thing is, I was expecting all the kids to shun me as a creepy weirdo, because I was 5-7 years older than the lot of them, and I was just being a drunk silly and imparting drunk wisdom on their stupid teenage brains. And they probably did shun me, deep down, yet it was a lot of fun, and they were all responding very well to me. So I was largely going around trying to hook up single boys and girls, because I love child porn. And the thing is, some of these teens are hot. Like fucking certified jailbait. And I know better. But as I kept punishing those whiskeys, my judgement starting getting pretty ambiguous. Now, I'm not such a loser that I would actively go up to teenage girls and try to wheel them. That's kind of fucking weird. But as I was playing matchmaker, this one hobbit girl who I was trying to hook up with hobbit boys and her hot Asian friend (whose family owns the Chinese restaurant in town) start flattering me. And I have a soft spot for ego boosts, as many of you know from my gay bar story. So now I'm inadvertently flirting with a 16 year old Asian girl. But I'm still sober enough to recognize how awful that is. I find hobbit girl her hobbit boy of choice and get the fuck out of there. Time goes by, I finish my whiskeys, don't really remember what I was doing in the meantime, sun starts coming up, getting pretty close to home time. But oh no, crisis alert! Hobbit girl is on the verge of a breakdown because hobbit boy is talking to other girls. Me and Chinkgirl work to calm her tits -- I know how guys are. "He's just having a friendly chat with her for a few minutes, then he'll come back, and you guys will do your thing." And obviously that's what happened, and so I was left alone with the Asian girl on the "dancefloor." So we're dancing, and I'm feeling pretty weird, but at the same time this girl's hot and she's being flirty and I'm drunk as fuck. And she starts leaning into me close...... But in a somewhat ironic stroke of luck, Brother Nidoran came out of nowhere and told me we were leaving. The kneejerk words out of my mouth were "I can find a ride later," and then I suddenly realized that that's something I would say and care about if I WASN'T on the verge of a potential felony. So I got the fuck out of there. On the ride home I was like, "Fuck Brother Nidoran, you really saved my ass there, I was way too close to making out with that girl. Like I am way too fucking drunk right now," and Father Nidoran, who was driving us was like, "Yeah I'm not gonna lie, that girl is really pretty for her age. We call that jailbait." It was pretty hilarious. In the end I passed out in the Nidoran tent in their backyard at 5:00am, which is just an awful way to wake up seven hours later when it's suddenly the hottest day of the year. And Mother Nidoran got me a Gatorade and grilled me a cheese. She's the tits. The End. tl;dr: I got slowly and progressively roped into partying with teenagers and got so drunk that I came uncomfortably close to making out and/or hooking up with a 16 year old Asian girl. James, Tremblay, Da Trifecta and 1 other 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,834 Posted July 4, 2014 Author Share Posted July 4, 2014 That awkward moment when you have an early buzz on due to volunbeering in hot weather and you're faced with the decision to either resume drinking, alone, or waiting for everyone, sobering up, and risk not being able to get drunk later... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,834 Posted July 5, 2014 Author Share Posted July 5, 2014 Cherish this moment boys, because you'll never ever see this again... Jardy got his heart broken. I can't begin to describe how gay and awful that is. The consolation being that the redneck she passed me over for didn't take long to show his true colours. It's literally taking every ounce of my being to not text her to mock her. But I can't cuz that's gay. Sorry for the depressing post. As I said this will only be a one time thing. I sincerely thought she was just another version of me, but with massive tits. I've turned away so many girls for her. But whatever. The positive is I can turn my full attention to a lovely ginger girl, and never have to worry about what others think again. #sadness #freedom Knight 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,834 Posted July 5, 2014 Author Share Posted July 5, 2014 Fuck guys I feel like complete shit. I'm so sorry for this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,834 Posted July 5, 2014 Author Share Posted July 5, 2014 I should probably delete that. Oh well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BOOM 8,411 Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Poor Jardy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Senior Admin Will 4,604 Posted July 6, 2014 Senior Admin Share Posted July 6, 2014 Ahhh thats tough man, but we've all been there Blame that fucking gorlab guy for us not coming to your comfort earlier, dick has been spamming the thunderdome all damn day Anyways, I would totally have a bro-beer with you in these tough times Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smarch 2,943 Posted July 6, 2014 Share Posted July 6, 2014 Juts come down to moose jaw on th weekend, lots of bitches at chumps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JardyB10 4,834 Posted July 7, 2014 Author Share Posted July 7, 2014 I think "spamming the Thunderdome" is an oxymoron. But don't mind my softness, I was just drunk. I almost deleted that the next morning, but whatever, I HAVE NO SHAME. Juts come down to moose jaw on th weekend, lots of bitches at chumps Are they white, and will I be stabbed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle 667 Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 It's okay Jardy I'm being roped in by a girl at the moment and not really sure how it'll end up. I could be on the same page as you pretty soon, bitches ain't shit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandro 251 Posted July 12, 2014 Share Posted July 12, 2014 I've had a few. Time to decide whether to keep going or stop for hte night. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.png.ed69a7260a477fcf4feead7a0e4b7506.png)
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now