Claimed: King & Mulligan S02E05 "Secret Agent Agent" [1/2]

[BluObieZ 1,125]

INT-SEX EMPORIUM-DAY

Mulligan @TheLastOlympian07 is in a sex swing with a ball gag in his mouth as Grande @Ahma and Fong @tfong stand nearby talking about what they should do next

 

Grande

Should we eh… uh…um, shoot him in the dome?

 

Fong

Noodle

 

Grande

Shoot him in the uh man noodle?

 

Fong

He see. We see. We all see. He no see no more

 

Grande

Pluck his eyeballs out?

 

Fong

Eyeball only ball in sight

 

Grande

I think we need to think about this before we kill a police officer

 

Grande pulls out his phone and opens the “PoutineApp” and orders one while Fong pulls out a package that says ‘”Emergency Noodles” in big bold letters on it and “No eat unless you need noodle real, real, real…REALLY Bad”

 

INT-MAYOR OFFICE-DAY

Dom @Green is pacing around the room trying to find a way out but he cannot. He is trapped and he has no idea what they want him to do as the Mayor. Dom doesn’t see a way out of it so after a very short flashback of his life that is just him selling drugs and being arrested by King he walks over to window and tries to jump out of it. He just bounces off and falls to the ground. He then walks to a wall and tries to bash his head into it “Situation Style” but finds out that it is padded. He falls to the ground defeated as the secret door opens and someone enters.

 

EXT-STRIP CLUB-DAY

King walks out of the strip club with a smile on his face. Little does he know someone is watching him from afar from a black SUV. As King walks to his car he tries to call Mulligan.

 

 

BLACK

Theme Song

KING AND MULLIGAN

INT-SEX EMPORIUM-DAY

Fong sees that King is calling Mulligan and nudges Grande

 

Fong

Fool calling

 

Grande

What do we do? What if he knows where his partner is?

 

Fong laughs

 

Fong

Fool Tool

 

Grande

What?

 

Fong

Fool tool who too cool for school

 

Grande thinks for a second then begins to beat box

 

Fong

Oh you like noodlymes? Okay…

 

Fong starts nodding his head getting ready bust freestyle

 

 

Fong

Me name is Fong

I no like the dong

So I hit the bong

and do it all night long

Fuck you if you no like song

 

I deal with fool

Who a tool

Who no go to school

That’s so uncool

 

While Fong rhymes horribly Mulligan is wiggling and trying to get out of the swing and ties.

 

 INT-MAYOR OFFICE-DAY

Dom is sitting on the ground looking up at the man standing before him.

 

Dom

What do you want me to do? I have no idea how to run a city. All I know and all I will ever know is drug dealing

 

We now see that the man is Ciroc @Phil

 

Ciroc

You will do what we want, when we want it. Mayor Toast had to go away inorder for this to happen. You have big shoes to fill my little guinea pig

 

Dom

When will I be let out of this office? I mean how is this even an office? Kiddie furniture, padded walls and windows I cannot jump out of. Next you will tell me no more drug doing and drug dealing.

 

Ciroc laughs

 

Ciroc

Oh I thought that was clear. We cannot have the leader of this city doing and dealing drugs. As for how long you will be in here? Well… that’s up to you.

 

Ciroc starts to walk out of the room

 

Ciroc

Consider this rehab

 

EXT-STREETS-DAY

King is driving down the street with the black SUV following close behind. It’s not long before King realizes that every turn, lane change and every other move is being made by this SUV. King smirks as he floors it and speeds through a red light.

 

INT-SEX EMPORIUM-DAY

Grande

Mon nom est Francois Grande

They call me Grande

Cause I fuck a lot

And I got a Grande

(grabbing is crotch)

 

I love beaver

Not the animal

Cause I chop it up with a cleaver

I got beaver fever

Cause my grande Dong

Now I’m conspiring with Fong

 

Mulligan free’s himself and runs for the door. Before he leaves he turns to Fong and Grande

 

Mulligan

You guys are straight up wack! Stick to crime

 

Fong

After him noodle!

 

Grande chases after Mulligan

 

EXT-STREETS-DAY

Mulligan is trying to call Emily while he is running away from Grande, but she is not answering her phone. Mulligan phones King who also does not answer. He leaves him a message

 

Mulligan

King, if you get this I need some backup. I’m at the corner of 5^th and 12^th and being chased by some Canadian guy who is an ex pornstar now turned adult store owner. He was talking with Fong. I walked in and got beaten by a massive dild… nevermind. All I know is if this Grande guy gets me he will put something else in my mouth bigger then the ball he put in it before… Scratch that. Don’t listen to me. I’m on the corner of 6^th and 9^th now. Come get me buddy!

 

Mulligan ducks into an ally and hides behind some garbage cans

 

INT-MAYOR OFFICE-DAY

Dom is already losing it just a few hours off of drugs. He begins to see things. He sees a big bag of cocaine and a rolled up dollar bill. They begin to speak to him.

 

Cocaine

You need us. We need you. Who will spread us to the wonderful people of the city if not you?

 

Bill

You have to get out of this children’s room and move on up to the big office

 

Cocaine

Oh fuck yes! I love how you think Bill! Let’s make those fucks think you are okay so you take true control of the city and…

 

Bill

Make cocaine legal!

 

Cocaine and Bill begin hug

 

Cocaine

We go together like peas and carrots. We finish each other’s sentences.

 

Dom rubs his eyes

 

Dom

I need more drugs

 

INT-CAR-DAY

King is speeding through traffic not caring for anyone around him as he now turns on his police lights. Moments later the SUV does the same. King finally has enough of this and slams on the brakes which causes a bus to slam into a starbucks. King comes to a full stop in the middle of Times Square.

 

EXT-STREETS-DAY

Grande is looking for Mulligan but cannot find him. When the sounds of bells can be heard. Then a voice can be heard. He turns to see a rickshaw being pulled by two Chinese Cats coming down the street with a sign on it that says “Fong’s Dong’s Noodles” Grande gives up the search for a moment.

 

Fong

Nooodles! Get me noodles!

 

Grande

What are you doing? I give chase to a cop we held hostage and you thought now is a good time as any to go and sell noodles

 

Fong

Anytime is noodle time

 

Grande

No, anytime is Poutine time

 

Fong is offended by this

 

Fong

NOODLE!

 

Grande

POUTINE!

 

Fong

I see, you see, we all see NOODLES!

 

Grande

Quelle? Pourquoi?

 

Fong

Noodles. People drugs. Drugs people. Equal Noodles

 

Grande

Supply and demand

 

Fong

Exactanoodle!

 

Mulligan hears this all and begins to run down the alley away from them. Grande goes to give chase but Fong stops him

 

Fong

Let polifool run.

 

Grande shakes his head and starts to run after Mulligan

 

Fong

Fong try, now eat noodle

 

Fong eats one noodle and shrugs his shoulders

 

EXT-TIMES SQUARE-DAY

King gets out of his car and walks towards the Black SUV. As he nears the SUV a man in a black suit and sun glasses steps out of the car and flashes King his FBI Badge.

Which reads Secret Agent Ken Trick @Kendrick. King laughs and turns around and walks back towards his car.

 

Ken

Where are you going?

 

King

Where I want

 

Ken

You are under arrest!

 

King spins around

 

King

Am I? Am I really? For what?

 

Don @Banackockcan be heard from the backseat of the SUV which makes Ken look back at them

 

Don

You tell him! That’s the fucking guy right there

 

Lou @Tyler

Shut up, Ken’s got this

 

Ken turns back around to speak to King who now is in his face.

 

King

So what am I arrested for?

 

Ken

Nothing yet, but I am sure with the way you operate I will have you permabanned from the force in a speedy haste

 

King

Speedy haste? Who the fuck speaks like this?

 

Ken

Just know that I have my eyes on you. I have my eyes everywhere. My investigation just began.

 

King laughs

 

King

Not really doing it secretly Mr Secret Agent. Shouldn’t you conduct your investigation then reveal yourself? Not do it ass backwards?

 

Ken

Shouldn’t you not lead a FBI agent on a chase that ends up with a bus in a starbucks?

 

King

There’s too many of them anyways. This corner has like four

 

Ken

Touche

 

King oddly looks at Ken then begins to walk away

 

King

I got my eyes on you… with your eyes on me… Yes I meant to say that

 

INT-OLD PEOPLES HOME-DAY

Mulligan runs into an old people’s home and rushes into the pool area. He hides behind a fat old lady thinking he is well hidden. Moments later in runs Grande who looks around and spots Mulligan cowering behind the fat old lady. He laughs and nods at the lady who almost hypnotically turns around and wraps her hands around Mulligans throat and slams him into the pool before jumping in on top of him.

 

The episode fades to black as Mulligan screams for help

Edited November 6, 2017 by BluObieZ

[Ahma 1,444]

it's liiiiiiiit!

[BluObieZ 1,125]

@TheLastOlympian07 @tfong you fucks disappoint me

[TheLastOlympian07 2,388]

Review:

@BluObieZ amazing work as always, the episodes always make me laugh. That fuckin old lady anyway. Also who uses a dildo to beat someone up. cmon.