Claimed: King & Mulligan S02E06 "Avoidance Annoyance" [1/2]

[BluObieZ 1,125]

INT-OLD OAKS FOLKS HOME-DAY

The old lady has Mulligan @TheLastOlympian07 by the hair and is trying to drown him. Every time she picks him up he gasps for air then screams for help. The old people in the pool look on in horror.

 

Mulligan

Help!

 

Dunk

 

Mulligan

I’m a police

 

Dunk

 

Mulligan

Officer

 

INT-CAR-DAY

King is driving away from downtown when a report on the police radio. “Be on the lookout for a white male impersonating a police officer in and around Old Oaks Folks Home. He is considered belligerent and quite possibly dangerous”

 

King

Mulligan

 

EXT-STREETS-DAY

Fong @tfong is being pulled through the streets on his rickshaw. He looks like he is in a daze as the two cats pulling the rickshaw get loose and run away. Fong falls from the rickshaw and lays next to it. We now see that he has been shot. A group of Japanese cars roll up and a whole bunch of asianic people get out to check on him. Fong tries to get back in his rickshaw but they won’t allow him since he is shot. BRUCE YO-YO LEE SON FONG @boubabi runs up and kneels next to Fong.

 

Bruce

Father! Who that person that have done that to you are?

 

Fong

Noodle nom nom, gun bang

 

Bruce

King?

 

Fong

Queen

 

Bruce

Prince?

 

Fong

Dead

 

Bruce

Alive

 

The rest of the asianic mob look on confused as to what is going on and what is being said.

 

BLACK

Theme Song

KING AND MULLIGAN

 

INT-FBI OFFICE-DAY

Ken Trick @Kendrick stands at a desk in an angry rage while Don @Banackock and Lou @Tyler sit in front of him.

 

Ken

How dare he! I’m FBI for fucks sake!

 

Lou

It was your first King encounter. You are lucky it ended without anything embarrassing happening

 

Ken

You guys made him sound like a pushover and someone I can take down easily to recover from the Hawaii incident…

 

Ken goes stiff and his eyes gloss over as we hear shouting, gun fire and screaming. Lou is saying something but we cannot hear him as the flashback that Ken is having over powers his words. Lou puts his hand on Ken’s shoulder which snaps him out of it.

 

Lou

What happened in Hawaii?

 

Ken

You don’t want to know

 

INT-MAYOR OFFICE-DAY

Dom now is cowering in a corner clearly trying to get away from something. He looks terrified as we pan across the room and see Cocaine and Bill.

 

Bill

You need us, we don’t need you

 

Cocaine

We will find another sucker

 

Dom

But… but… I sold you so well

 

Cocaine

Yet you lay here cowering afraid of us. You need to accept your fate. You need to come back to us

 

Dom

I’m no longer the cocaine

 

Cocaine

You never were

 

Bill

Why do we even bother with this guy?

 

Bill and Cocaine begin to disappear. Dom stands up and screams out

 

Dom

Don’t leave me!

 

INT-OLD OAKS FOLKS HOME-DAY

Mulligan is now free and is trying to swim away from the old lady that is assaulting him. Grande @Ahmatosses her a Fong Dong. She grabs Mulligan by the leg and begins to hit him over the head with it. After a couple dozen hits to the head the dong becomes soft from the water. Mulligan gets away, and gets out of the pool. Before leaving Mulligan leaves he turns to laugh at Grande and the old lady as blood trickles down his face.

 

Mulligan

Shrinkage

 

Mulligan runs

 

Grande

I’ll show you shrinkage you fucking poutinecop

 

EXT-STREETS-DAY

Fong is sprawled out on his rickshaw trying to get to his noodles as Bruce tries to stop his father.

 

Bruce

Father, son you calm down

 

Fong

You son son calm down I noodle

 

Fong grabs a noodle and begins to eat it

 

Bruce

 

You need doctor

 

Fong

Graze no doctor

 

Bruce

Who shoot Fong Son?

 

Fong

Fong shoot self in noodle daze

 

Bruce

No noodle more

 

Fong

You no say no noodle

 

Bruce

 

We sell we no use

 

Fong

I father

 

Bruce

Important things Father. We need go… now

 

Fong

I go with noodles

 

Bruce sighs and grabs the front of the rickshaw and begins to pull it with Fong in the back

 

EXT-STREETS-DAY

Mulligan is running through the streets. Angry old people on scooters and walkers are chasing after him. He reaches for his phone in his pocket but realizes that the phone is destroyed because the water. He tosses it at a scooter, it lands in front of the scooter and stops it from moving forward. He laughs a moment then feels bad about what he has done. But only for a second. He turns back around and runs.

 

INT-CAR-DAY

King is driving down the street looking for Mulligan as he passes the old people home. After driving a bit further he sees Bruce pulling Fong down the street. He slams on the brakes and hops out of his truck. He then runs up to the rickshaw with his gun drawn

 

King

What in the holy asianic fuck is going on here?

 

Bruce

WHY YOU SWEAR? YOU NO GOOD DOG A LONG SUCKER!

 

King gets in the face of Bruce

 

King

I have no fucking clue what the fuck you just said to me but I don’t like it!

 

Bruce

FOOK YOU!

 

King points at himself

 

King

Fuck me? No no I insist fuck you. You and your fucking father. He gave me false information! Just to throw me off the scent

 

Fong sits up in a noodle haze

 

Fong

Ocean much like you. You much like sand.

 

King

What?

 

Fong

You look in hand but no other hand. You fool. I cool with tool…no many tool

 

King

You’re a tool

 

Fong

No me Noodle

 

King

I just about had enough of you and your odd sayings. I can actually do my job right now and arrest you

 

Fong

For who?

 

King

You mean what

 

Fong

Whom?

 

King

WHAT!

 

Fong

Time slipping, no go back. More waste. Means no see Partner

 

King

What In the holy fuck are you talking about?

 

Fong

Partner no here but there. There is where. Where is nowhere? Cause Here is there.

 

King

I don’t know what in the holy shit you are talking about

 

Fong sighs

 

Fong

Partner, gone. Gone but no gone. You no find him… never ever never… better

 

Grande comes running up out of breath

 

Grande

I lost him, he got away

 

Fong

I sit corrected

 

Grande looks at King

 

Grande

Should I Poutine him?

 

Fong

Noodle

 

King quickly punches Grande in the ear and runs to his car. Fong stands up in shock

 

Fong

Who punch ear? You want burst? That no fair me son you

 

Grande

Ahhhhhhhh that poutine smarts. Right in my ear eh?

 

King

Fuck you all, I’ll get you soon enough

 

Grande

I’ll hold you down and punch both your ears

 

King

If you hold me down how will you punch?

 

King speeds away

 

Fong

No go after king fool. We busy with noodle doodle poodle Mr Long Dong

 

INT-MAYOR OFFICE-DAY

Dom is formulating a plan with Cocaine and Bill

 

Dom

I need to take control, to take control I must be the cocaine and find my inner coke

 

Cocaine

Exactly

 

Bill

So when that vodka bottle wonnabe comes in here next you attack him even if he has a gun

 

Cocaine

Yeah! You are more powerful than a gun. It can’t hurt you.

 

Dom

What if he shoots me?

 

Cocaine

SNORT IT!

 

Bill

Yeah! Snort the bullet

 

Cocaine

YES!

 

Bill

YES!

 

Dom

YESSSSS!!!!!

 

EXT-STREETS-DAY

Mulligan looks behind him to see no one is chasing him. He spots a payphone across the street so he runs across and attempts to make a call but realizes he needs change. He spots a homeless man nearby. He rushes over to the man

 

Mulligan

You got some spare change?

 

The Homeless man looks at Mulligan all confused

 

Homeless man

What?

 

Mulligan

I need change, and I need it now

 

Homeless man

Wait you are asking me for change? Is this some stupid thing to show me how annoying it is?

 

Mulligan

No, I honestly need it! Like right now. I need to use the payphone.

 

Homeless man

Who the fuck uses a payphone?

 

Mulligan flashes his badge at the man

 

Mulligan

Officer Mulligan that’s who

 

The Homeless man hands him the whole cup of change

 

Homeless man

An officer who uses a payphone is a shady mother fucker. Take it all. I don’t want trouble

 

Mulligan thinks for a second to explain himself but then turns and runs to the phone. He calls Emily who pickups right away.

 

Mulligan

Emily! I’m soooooo sorry. You will never believe my day

 

Emily

Yeah… that’s the thing with you always. You always have these grand stories. King making you do odd things. You always get in trouble and for what? So King can say you did it?

 

Mulligan

No! this time I am by myself. King is off doing something else.

 

Emily

Well on the news apparently a person that is described much like you went into an old people home and assaulted an old lady. Then you left and a foot chase happened… Oh and black Pickup speeding through downtown is reported close by. Coincidence? I think not!

 

Mulligan

King’s nearby?

 

Mulligan thinks for a second

 

Mulligan

I have to go

 

Emily

Don’t you dare hang up on me. I’m pregnant with your baby. I don’t need this shit

 

Mulligan doesn’t even hear that she is pregnant

 

Mulligan

I will explain everything tonight.

 

Emily

MULLIGAN! I’M FUCKING PREGNANT YOU ASS!

 

Mulligan hangs up and calls King

 

King

Who the fuck calls from a payphone?

 

Mulligan

King! I need you!

 

King

Mulli? You god damn asshole!

 

Mulligan

What did I do?

 

King

Everything! Like usual

 

Mulligan

Come pick me up. I’m on the corner of 8^th and 24^th

 

Mulligan spots the homeless man now has a gang of other homeless men who now are coming towards him. On the other side of the street the old people gang has caught up to him.

 

Mulligan

Scratch that! I’m not here anymore. Come find me.

 

Mulligan drops the phone and runs

 

King

MULLIGAN? MULLIGAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

INT-FBI OFFICE-DAY

Ken is watching the news reports of a man being chased by an old people’s gang and homeless gang. It’s a helicopter shot of the chase. Ken shakes his head.

 

Ken

If that fool is there King is nearby.

 

Don

Should we go bust them?

 

Ken

For what? Public stupidity?

 

Don

Causing a ruckus

 

Ken

No. We sit back and let them burry themselves in the hole they are digging

 

Don

For a really high strung on edge guy you are very patient

 

Ken

That’s why I’m in the FBI and you’re not

 

INT-MAYOR OFFICE-DAY

Dom is sitting in the corner scheming with Cocaine and Bill as the door to the office opens and Ciroc @Phil enters the room

 

EXT-STREETS-DAY

King finally spots the slow speed chase. He has to drive around the old people on scooters and homeless people. He then puts on his siren to stop Mulligan in his tracks.

 

King

Halt! Stop right there! You are under arrest. Get your ass in the car right fucking now!

 

Mulligan spins around and spots the truck

 

Mulligan

KING! THANK FUCK!

 

Mulligan runs to the truck. Fighting off homeless people as he approaches. He pushes an old man off his scooter as he gets into the truck and King speeds away from the scene as the episode fades to black

[boubabi 4,725]

lies, fong kneels in front of me

[Ahma 1,428]

wow puched in the EAR!? PUSSY

[TheLastOlympian07 2,388]

Review

Again, robbie, great stuff as usual. these just keep getting better and better. i lol'd at the shrinkage comment, so dumb lol. also loving the introduction of new characters. This needs more love.