The Life Of George [2/2]

[Enorama 2,038]

 

How the Founding Father Came About

 

George Washington was born nearly 300 years ago, in 1732, in the British colony of Virginia to parents Augustine and Mary Ball Washington. When the boy was just 11 years old, George's father Augustine died, leaving George, his eldest son, a farm and the family's ten slaves. By the time he was 20, Washington had already contracted smallpox in Barbados, lost a brother to tuberculosis, lost the majority of his teeth (no, he did not actually have wooden dentures, but he did have multiple different sets of dentures), and joined the Virginian colonial militia. As a member of the militia, George fought with the English against the French in Ohio Valley in a conflict we know today as the French and Indian War. 

 

In 1763, we begin to see the first of George's anti-parliament views, as he helped spearhead protests against the Townshend Acts (which we know today by the term 'taxation without representation') and he introduced a proposal to boycott English goods. As the American Revolution broke out in 1775, George made haste to Philadelphia, where he joined the Continental Congress. Once there, Samuel and John Adams nominated the 43 year old future president to be the first ever commander-in-chief of the Continental Army. The battles that followed are well chronicled in the history books and rather more boring than you would think, so we can safely skip our way through them. The Siege of Boston, the Battle of Long Island, even crossing the Delaware were all significant events in the Revolutionary War but all so dreadfully boring, as most warfare at the time was.

 

America

 

I think we all know who won the war for American Independence, so stop reading here if you want to avoid spoilers. After 8.5 years of war, most everyone was ready to return to their homes. Washington himself barely had the privilege of doing so, however, because he was thrust into the unenviable role of helping to construct a nation more or less from scratch. After spending less than a decade back home at Mount Vernon (where his family farm was failing and the estate ran a deficit for 11 consecutive years), he spent nearly a month in Philadelphia working on completing and ratifying the first draft of the U.S. Constitution in May 1787.

 

The U.S. did not have an official head of state from 1776 to 1789, so the presidential election of 1788-89 was the very first in the young country's history. Washington, the commander-in-chief of the army who won the War, won the election unanimously, with 69 electoral votes (nice). Less than 1.8% of the total population voted.

 

Presidency and Stuff

 

Perhaps the greatest legacy left by George Washington (besides the building of the country of the United States of America and all that hogwash) was that he refused to be referred to by terms such as "His Excellency the President",  "His Highness", and "Great Leader", and instead settled for the rather homely "Mr. President".

 

Besides the nomenclature, Washington contributed here and there to the young America. Specifically he campaigned vociferously against partisan politics (obviously we're following his lead to a T today) and proclaimed November 26 as an official holiday by the name of Thanksgiving. His first term was rife with conflict amongst his own people, like the Whiskey Rebellion or the Jefferson-Hamilton turmoil, and with the native peoples of North America, especially the Northwest tribes united under Chief Little Turtle. 

 

Washington never intended on serving as president for a second term, but as the second election in U.S. history neared, he simply didn't state one way or another whether he would accept another term. In response, he won another landslide unanimous victory with nobody running against him. Thankfully for George and his wife Martha, the president's second term was far more peaceful and mellow than his first, with the only potential upset coming in the form of a revolution across the ocean, which Washington promptly stated they would remain neutral on.

 

Post-Presidency

 

By retiring after his second term, Washington set a precedence for the two-term limit we enjoy today. He believed that him staying in office long enough to die there would have set up the perception of the presidential office being a lifetime appointment, something he wanted to avoid. After retirement, Washington only lasted another two years before succumbing to some form of tracheal inflammation at the age of 67. Congress was adjourned for the day the second they received news of his passing (as if they need any excuse) and the Speaker's chair was shrouded in black cloth the following morning.

 

Post-Death

 

Hold on, post-death? Oh I see, we can examine the fact that some dude tried to steal old Georgie's skull or that he currently lies interred in a beautiful marble sarcophagus at Mount Vernon.

Wait, what?

That isn't the post-death we're talking about?

What else is there?

 

He Lives Again

The year is 2020. A soft layer of snow covers the Washington tomb at Mount Vernon on a cold January morning. In just an hour or two, tourists will begin milling around the historical residence of the first U.S. President and First Lady, but for now, it's quiet, and the sun is nowhere near cresting over the horizon.

 

The quiet of the early A.M. is shattered by a loud bang. Shortly after, another follows. Every animal within a ten-mile radius immediately becomes apprehensive of the so-called 'New Tomb' that currently contains the bodies of George and Martha Washington. Several seconds of silence followed before being broken once again by a deafening scraping sound followed by one final, massive crash. 

 

Within the brick walls of the New Tomb, the cover of George's sarcophagus sits cracked on the floor, leaving his decayed body exposed to the cool air. Although the interior of the tomb has the appearance of disarray, silence is restored to the estate. 

 

Slowly, impossibly, a creaking noise can be heard coming from George's open sarcophagus. Just as the clock hits 7 A.M., George's skull peeks over the edge of what was supposed to be his final resting place.

 

Unfortunately for him (or for us), it was not meant to be.

 

 

1,032 words

Edited August 16, 2019 by Enorama

[PotatoKing 46]

10/10

Brought a tear to my eye.

[Donno100 94]

Review: This is a pretty good bio here, I really like the idea of Zombie George and how the writing in the Chapter "He Lives Again" paints a nice and descriptive picture of the scenery and the events going on in that very scene. Outside of the final chapter, I'd say that this is a pretty good write up for the history of GW and that if I were a teacher, I'd give it an A. Good work.

[McWolf 3,115]

Review: It doesn't even say for what junior team he played. 3.5/10

[Matt_O 897]

The final paragraph has so much raw power, greater than any movie ending could ever have. It gives me more chills than the ending of Saw, the part where Hannibal Lector takes off his face in Silence of the Lambs, when the kid in the sixth sense says the line (no spoilers), when Vader says he is the father, when Thanos snaps his fingers, when Jar Jar Binks is introduced on screen, when Shrek farts, and all of Samuel L. Jacksons mothafuckas combined. 

[Ricer13 2,796]

Review: Pro: this is a masterpiece! Con: didn’t touch on his hockey career even once.

 

So much history here my mind almost exploded. Great job 

[DangerGolding 222]

On 8/18/2019 at 4:05 AM, Matt_O said:

when the kid in the sixth sense says the line (no spoilers), when Vader says he is the father

 

Says no spoilers and then immediately spoils a different film

[Matt_O 897]

4 hours ago, DangerGolding said:

 

Says no spoilers and then immediately spoils a different film

Everyone has seen Star Wars at this point

[Walter Fizz 84]

One of my more disliked presidents, but let’s be honest Washington would go college to NHL