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Dakota Lame: Bust of the Century


rory
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After @dlamb made a falsified article discussing why greatest of all time player, Jeffrey Pines, did not deserve first overall in the season 73 draft, we must now discuss one of the biggest reaches in the draft class, Dakota Lame (née Lamb). Lame, drafted tenth overall, is having a disappointing rookie campaign, only posting 29 points through 26 games. At the halfway point of S73, a much better year for goaltending, elite rookie center prospect Jeffrey Pines had a staggering 31 points. In season 73, Dakota Lame was posting a worse season then he did the year prior, a huge red flag showing that Lame was stagnating and okay with being a bad VHLM player. Despite all of this, the expansion team Missing In Action Marauders still decided to name a trophy in his honour, which if my sources tell me correctly is awarded to the most disappointing player on the Missing In Actions.

Now that I have dispelled the rumours surrounding Dakota Lame's weak campaign and disappointing career following two seasons, I will discuss certain players who went after Mr. Lame and explain why the Warsaw Generic Dog Logo's are seemingly intentionally running their franchise into the ground with their horrible drafting.

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11th Overall - Kosmo Kramerev

The Horseshoe Horsies got a serious steal in the draft here by selecting Kramerev at 11th. The Ukrainian defenseman posted a whopping 106 points on the same Missing in Action Marauders as Dakota Lame did. How could a first line forward post less points then a defensive defenseman? It's simple really - Dakota Lame felt placated in his position as first line forward and Kramerev was battling against a solid MIA defense core and had to prove himself for the top minutes. Unfortunately the city of Calgary has poisoned poor Kramerev's head and he has had a lackluster rookie and sophomore season because the teams lion share of points are going to their much better players. Lame is clearly only ahead of him because he plays on a worse Warsaw Oink Oink team.

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20th Overall - Jesper Norberg

Unlike the dumb Warsaw Deformed Tiger's general manager, the smart Vancouver Generic Dog's general manager made two amazing back-to-back picks, however I believe Mr. Jesper Norberg to be the better of the two. Unlike Dakota Lame, Norbeg scored over a hundred points in his draft+1 season, on a much weaker Saskatoon team. Less support means less points and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Norberg now plays on a very young Doggies roster and should almost definitely surpass the inferior Warsaw Little Piggies team. In this scenario, the Vancouver Howlin' Huskies will huff and puff, and make the Warsaw straw house fall down like the first little piggy.

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59th Overall - XxMouthCreamxX
Let's face it - the Phoenix Birdie Boys could've passed this selection and it would've been a better pick then Dakota Lame. XxMouthCreamxX has left the league entirely is now rumoured to playing in the Southwest Nairobi Hockey League. I don't think Dakota Lame could even make the roster for this Kenyan beer league, and it is embarrassing for teams around the league to be getting scored against him. 

And there you have it. An absolutely definitive source for why Dakota Lame should be released from the Warsaw Growlin' Gremlins and send back to the MIA Marauders for the rest of his career, where he can infinitely win the Most Disappointing award. All of the words stated in this article are to be treated as truth and anyone who says otherwise will be forcibly converted to a Beavliever. I'd tag the players mentioned but really the only person who needs to see this is dlamb.

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1 minute ago, dlamb said:

Imagine having to write a media spot to get your point across, only took me a VHL.com 

Imagine having to write vhl.com articles to cap

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  • Head Moderator

Get em!!! Pretty casual trash talk article which was quite enjoyable as far as jabbing at people goes. Stayed within limits and is still appropriate though. Formatting works. You got some graphics going to give it a good look. Nice short entertainment piece.

 

8/10

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  • 1 month later...

Love this media spot. Lots of trash talking going on without it getting nasty, so good job keeping it light hearted. The way it's laid out makes it clear and easy to read, tied in with the images gives the piece a pleasing overall aesthetic. Gave me a good giggle reading this. Quality job done on this piece.

 

9/10 

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6 hours ago, bigAL said:

Big brain Rory, can’t be a bust if you’re not drafted very high 

 

you have sealed your fate, bigthony altano

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