Seattle Bears Jersey Retirements

[Banackock 8,062]

 Good evening,

 

I wrote this a while ago and the forum decided the PM I was using decided to randomly close and lose everything that I typed. This caused me to angrily revolt into the Bears LR, take a sip of my vodka fresca, finish my vodka fresca, and the eventually make a soda stream cola and rum. Following that, I played a few matches of Apex (let's play together?) with my brother and a buddy and now I'm a few more drinks deep before supper and you find me here. As everyone's who is connected with the league knows, the Seattle Bears have history dawning back to the moment the league gained it's light. The Bears have had some of the best players call their organization home and have numerous individual and team awards to decorate their hallways for years to come. Unless you've lived under a rock like Spartan, you'd know that the Bears recently have created one of the best dynasties in the modern, most competitive age of the VHL. During this period, we've won 4 out of 7 Continental cups and have collected many individuals awards while also gaining history on many, many notable Bears careers. Throughout my time as Bears GM, It's been my drive and hope that anyone who joins the team does so in pursuit of skill, overall success and absolute loyalty to the team. I don't mean to sound like a dick, but it's pretty obvious, we want you if you want us. If you don't want to be here for whatever reason (and we respect that), then do that. We dont want you.  Give us a chance and the Bears are the team that I say and people who join have learned this. Don't listen to me, listen to them. Now, since S67, the team has been full of wonderful dynastic history and players. We've made league history and amazing friendships along the way. The GM does a major portion of the work, but these people built into the system and we've come together and created the history that we've made. Without them, like any other team, we wouldn't have the success we've had. Their loyalty, skill and personalities came together to create a chemistry that outputted success for the Bears organizations. 

 

We're excited to name these teams to the rafters. To be celebrated for the rest of time. For as long as the VHL and Seattle Bears are a thing, these players will be remembered as some of the best players to throw a Bears jersey over their shoulders and maybe if they're not close to the best, these guys are 3-4x Continental Cup champions. If you shit talk them, all I have to say is "lol". 

 

Berocka Sundqvist

Player Page

Berocka was a member of the Bears that joined a season later than the rest but last a season longer than most. When he initially joined the team, it took a bit to earn his weight and he struggled right off the hop. Despite kicking and crying like most would (and forcing a trade), he stuck to the rhythm and to the team and it would lead to one of the more successful, dominant careers. Call it what you will, but he was a consistent player that was loyal to the bone. He was a major factor in all of Seattle's wins and one of our most vocal players in the locker room. While everyone else was out causing trouble for the sake of activity, rivalry and fun, Berocka was on the inside being the voice of reason. He may say otherwise, but he's as soft as a banana that has sat in the light and warmth too long. 

 

Thank you, Aussie man @Berocka, for everything that you did for the team. Your absence is already felt and I will miss you being part of the major day to day team things. Fortunately, he remains SC.

 

STATS:

Season	GP	G	A	P	+/-	SHT	PIM	HIT	SB	GW	PPG	SHG
74 (SEA)	72	15	49	64	-12	233	54	69	151	4	9	0
73 (SEA)	72	30	63	93	28	258	90	118	122	4	17	0
72 (SEA)	72	22	70	92	22	229	88	95	125	4	11	0
71 (SEA)	72	12	40	52	19	167	155	161	106	2	5	0
70 (SEA)	72	16	44	60	-1	185	120	202	102	1	10	0
69 (SEA)	72	7	12	19	2	122	66	106	14	2	0	0
68 (SEA) 7  YRS	72 504	23 125	34 312	57 437	30 88	267 709	136 996	245 1461	17 637	7 24	8	0 7

HULK HOGAN

Player Page

 

One of the more polarizing members that you either love, hate or enjoy his entertainment. For Seattle, he was number 1 and number 3. At the start of it all, he was an absolute massive steal. The fact that we were able to draft him 5th overall still blows our minds to this day. A player who earns an incredible amount of TPE, is very active and stays with an organization for the entire career is rare to come by. If you want to put the cherry on top, he added a few awards and pitched in on many continental cups and accomplished more than a majority of players will ever dream of, let alone actually accomplish. The guy loves Adam Sandler a little too much, but it's that same passion that made him extremely successful in the VHL and with the Seattle Bears. Hogan was one of the most loyal members I've ever had in a locker room and was a very smart teammate and member to have on-board. He holds numerous records with the Bears like all-time assists and 2nd all-time for shots blocked. HULK AMANIA will always be alive in Seattle. 

 

Thank you, BROGAN @TXC (why did you change your username dumb ass?), for everything that you did for the team. Your absence is already felt and I will miss you being part of the major day to day team things. HOPEFULLY, you come back and quit being a bitch. Make some more pork chops and take over the league. 

STATS:

Season	GP	G	A	P	+/-	SHT	PIM	HIT	SB	GW	PPG	SHG
74 (SEA)	72	26	68	94	20	276	96	127	115	4	11	0
73 (SEA)	72	24	69	93	17	261	94	148	129	3	13	0
72 (SEA)	72	16	62	78	10	179	114	187	131	4	10	0
71 (SEA)	72	8	63	71	10	162	109	131	110	4	5	0
70 (SEA)	72	11	34	45	-12	149	127	161	101	4	7	0
69 (SEA)	72	5	52	57	28	54	140	134	137	1	3	0
68 (SEA)	72	8	60	68	19	109	125	169	123	2	6	0
67 (SEA)	72	7	36	43	-8	80	220	155	138	0	5	0
Totals	576	105	444	549	84	1270	1025	1212	984	22	60	0

 

 

 

 

 

 

Scott Greene

Player Page

 

He was the 50/50 poison. I feel like sometimes he was a very small bit of the voice of reason, but he really had funny be the poison and hopping on board creating a fun atmosphere with the Bears. We won and we won a lot. People are going to be against a team like that anyway so why not embrace is and really stir the fucking hot pot of of magical shit? That's exactly what he did. Not only this, but her was one of the more trusted members on the Bears teams and put up absolutely incredible numbers. Unfortunately, he finds himself out of the Top 10 for points with 500 in 504, BUT,  is the all-time leader for playoff points with 79 in 85 GP. This record is going to be extremely hard to beat and without him, Seattle wouldn't have been as successful as what is was. Seattle always played a very close, tight game in the playoffs and often he was was of the stars.

 

Thank you, @DoktorFunk, for everything that you did for the team. Your absence is already felt and I will miss you being part of the major day to day team things. Fortunately, he remains SC.

STATS:

 

Quote

73 (SEA)	72	30	75	105	26	413	61	113	23	4	6	1
72 (SEA)	72	32	61	93	12	389	28	53	33	5	10	0
71 (SEA)	72	39	43	82	9	402	145	250	38	6	8	1
70 (SEA)	72	25	39	64	5	288	117	245	28	5	10	1
69 (SEA)	72	20	36	56	21	204	22	43	32	4	6	1
68 (SEA)	72	23	24	47	4	231	34	26	22	5	9	0
67 (SEA) 7	72 504	27 196	26 304	53 500	-14 63	237 2164	23 430	59 789	26 202	5 34	9 48	1 5

 

 

AND LASTLY... A SPECIAL-ER HONOR..

 

RAYZ FUNK (stupid ass autocorrect)

Players Page

 

It started from day one. The master plan to add him to the Seattle Bears (he knows). Once he was added, the mission started. He was the biggest piece to the puzzle and while not everything was because of him like some of the dim-witted think, a good portion was because of him. Talk about meh and hot? He turned it up during the playoff and is easily the best playoff player of all-time. Kanou and shit compared to him no matter what anyone tries to say. Rayz Funk is easily the biggest, best and baddest playoff performer off all-time and is the best goalie to ever put on the pads, jock strap and jersey for the Bears organization. He holds 99.34% of all records for Bears goalies. Beketov will claim a few but does not compare even if he tries to. Rayz is destined for many great things - HoF for his player and an eventual GM career despite being FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY for less right now. 

 

Thank you, @Rayzor_7, for everything that you did for the team. Your absence is already felt and I will miss you being part of the major day to day team things. Fortunately, he remains SC. Not only will his jersey be retired to the rafters, but his number will be retired with the Seattle Bears. 

 

STATS:

Quote

73 (SEA)	64	41	15	4	0.921	2.48	6	152	1933	3681
72 (SEA)	65	41	19	3	0.912	2.63	1	169	1920	3861
71 (SEA)	68	40	21	6	0.918	2.36	5	159	1938	4039
70 (SEA)	67	34	24	7	0.916	2.42	3	159	1891	3946
69 (SEA)	65	39	22	4	0.923	2.25	8	146	1896	3897
68 (SEA)	64	38	22	4	0.921	2.42	8	155	1957	3838
67 (SEA)	65	28	29	8	0.913	3.08	2	202	2315	3932

 

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this painful announcement. In the future, I promise you I will drink less. To these 4 members, I thank you for everything you've done for the Bears and the VHL. The last many seasons with you have been so much fun. We've put in so much time, effort and emotion to this league and have come out on top. Always will you each hold a special place in the organization and the league. Sorry if this announcement is not that good. I announced it earlier today and then started to drink but as you know, I always get things done on time (or try my best to). 

 

Take look at the Bears all-time stats:

HERE

 

VHL HoF :

HERE

Thanks, 

 

 

 

Spoiler

1. GM's slacking. Bears named captains, completed off-season and announced this and no other team announced captains??

2. @Beketov probably had small excitement but FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY. 

3. Hope you all enjoy your Friday. Happiness, health and peace to you. GO VHL!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited September 22, 2021 by Banackock

[Banackock 8,062]

Also claiming for doubles week. IDC. Should be x2 or x3 media week, but I'll settle for one. YW.

[gorlab 4,321]

[Beketov 9,033]

Not retiring Thompson or Holik, really? 

[OrbitingDeath 3,198]

Nice banack, we need more of these happening