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ROCK SOLID


Phil

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It's been a quiet season for the Rock in terms of output... except for what's coming out of his mouth put.

 

The giant humanoid has statistically been not up to the standards of his ego. He currently sits at just 6 points and 120 hits - which is still the lead on the team, but just not enough to validate his talk:

 

"I don't want to say I'm a generational talent... but I can literally move mountains."

 

Now his strength IS quite impressive. According to @Prout, during a practice, coach @InstantRockstar brought in a battle rope and had the top two lines on one end, and The Rock and goaltender @MSO94 on the other end. It was a classic tug-of-war on skates. IR counted down and as soon as it began, the force at which the Rock yanked the rope knocked Olsen to the ground, as well as caused a dominos effect on the opposing side, which saw @Tate fly head first into @fromtheinside, @Nepto threw out his back, @DangerGolding slipped backwards, slicing the jersey clean in half of @BOOM™ Rayzor hit his head so hard on the ice he now thinks he plays for Halifax... in short it was a disaster of an exercise and practice was cancelled for the rest of the day. It seemed that this was failure beyond comprehension

 

 

OR WAS IT?

 

 

That practice was on December 5th. The Marlins have gone on to win ever single game since... with an incredible 10-0 record and scoring 59 goals.. for math people... that's an average of about 6 goals per game!!

 

The media have turned their attention to GM IR... was this a brilliant move by a brilliant GM? Was it a ridiculous move by a ridiculous man? Was it a brilliant move by a ridiculous man? Or was it a ridiculous move by a brilliant man? So many possible combinations.. and we only used 2 adjectives, so we asked Phil the Rock Johnson about it:

 

"It was all me. I started putting TPE into Leadership."

 

Okay then.

 

 

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