Yis, it's me. I've been wondering if after all these years you'd like to chill with me. Anyway, I'm not a huge XM radio writer, because I just like to get my tpe from my player cards and that's it. SO I obviously don't do that for TPE (if it was uncapped tho :j). As you may know, I'm a selfish prick...and french. So it fits perfectly. Now that 2 of the greatest player of their generation are now gone, of course, I'm talking about Koenig and O'Malley, will it be the breakout year for Lord Karnage to take all the awards home ? Well, it could be one season earlier, because Karnage may be winning the famously wanted "Best looking player" of the year. The run will be tough, but here's my top 4 candidate.
Bismark Koenig - C - @boom
I mean, look at those nips, you can't beat that. Can you ? Well, maybe, because the 3 other candidates are super hot fira too. You know what is hot too ? Koenig ON (me) on the ice. He's been tearing shit up since his arrival. I has his own shower in the locker room, have been rumored to have a different "compagne" (that's how he calls them) in that shower every game night. Even when playing away ! What a stud, right ?
Thomas O'Malley - C - @Green
You dig long hair ? You dig body hair ? Well, this guy ain't for you, because Kate Upton once said in her commercial that she doesn't want any body hair. So you have to dig long hair only. If so, you'll have a man crush on Thomas O'Malley. In his Helsinki time, he rocked the bad boy look and a tattoo sleeve outside the rink (SOURCE), and he got success along with it. He won the best looking player award twice, and that's no steal. He dominated the fashion show for years, but he'll be gone after this year. Rumors been told that he finally found his true love, and he's ready to step out of the hockey world. Huge lost for the league, but will it benefit other players ? We'll see.
Lord Karnage - LW/C-
You like chocolate ? Not the dark one, but like the sweet milk chocolate ? Well, you'll like him, but he's no sweet. He's like the opposite of sweet. Definitely the most muscular one, Lord Karnage will give you nightmare with his 6'3 230 lbs frame. Well, technically, he would be 240 lbs, but the league rejected the 10 lbs addition due to his huge "mantool". Sorry not sorry, the girls won't forget that extra 10lbs of Karnage, I'll let you know. Since Karnage's arrival in Stockholm in S42, there was a raise of 50% "Mulatto" babies in the country, if you know what I mean. He can't hold it. Like his ancestor, Karnage ain't ready to be a papa (even tho he was been called daddy so many time), he won't quit hockey for those hoes. The weekly check that he has to pay to cover those "accidents" is huge, but it won't stop his hot streak. He still has to pull the "Weekend at Barnies" play from the Playbook he created, inspired by his good friend, Barney Stinson. He don't have to feel bad for those child, I mean, those bastards will end up just fine. See how that Jon Snow ended up ? Pretty good euh ? Well, before the Season 5 finale at least.
Ariel Weinstein - G - @Smarch
Might be a surprise candidate, but the voters can't deny it, the Jewish goaltender is far hotter than we think. Pulling an impressive .925 success rate on chicks, that man is unstoppable. Rumors been told that he's his own wingman, what a legend. Weinstein has been everywhere this season, from TIME magazine, to Men's Health. The last goaltender who's been in the Best Looking Player consideration was Hans Wingate, and this season, he's no where to be found near strip clubs. Not even fashion shows anymore. Will Weinstein take the vacant reign and be named the best looking player ? Only the future will tell.