Gudnason

Should still reward yourself with a chuckle or two after archiving all that shit

Haha ok. I must have missed that podcast

Use, omg, what a tool

Is this answered yet @Beketov? And for your next podcast, please read my autobiography out loud like story time. Relax, it's only 1033 words.

For Gudnason II

Many were shocked when Birkir Holm Gudnason II signed with the VHLM's Ottawa Lynx for the upcoming season. It was expected that his personal ties to Las Vegas Aces' general manager Colton Rayne and his love for the Vegas lifestyle of luxury, gambling, and nightlife would be the perfect fit. But it turns out that Gudnason II is a man who is dead set on becoming a professional hockey player after discovering he has a wicked slapshot. "I'm not here to get paid and have a good time, I'm here to work hard, compete, and improve," said Gudnason II. "Signing with Ottawa gives me the best potential to succeed, as they're a successful franchise with good management that will support my goals. I look forward to meeting my teammates and working together to achieve our goal of becoming champions. I will not let the fans of Ottawa suffer another heartbreak." This heartbreak Gudnason II speaks of is Ottawa losing to Las Vegas in the championship finals last season, a team his cousin Birkir Holm Gudnason was on. It was in fact his cousin that scored the Cup-clinching goal for the Aces, and Gudnason II will be hoping that he too can write his name in the history books sooner rather than later. Keaton Louth, general manager of the Ottawa Lynx, gave the following answer when asked why he offered Gudnason II a league-maximum $2 million contract: "Gudnason [II] brings hunger. He's a competitive guy that is clear on his goal of becoming a professional hockey player. We know he's raw, but you can't teach passion and hunger. We look forward to working with him to achieve our team goals and his personal goals together." Gudnason II is expected to start the season on Ottawa's second pairing, but could potentially at times be playing on the top pairing depending on line chemistry and other factors that will be decided by the coaches. On the depth chart, he will be behind veteran minor-league Ho Lee Fook, and competing with Adam Warlock for second. His fellow rookie is also a scoring machine, but he is much more well known and has a better reputation from his junior days. It also doesn't help that he is backed by a strong agency that is known for producing All-Star and Hall-of-Fame level talent. Gudnason II is not fazed in the slightest at being compared with his cousin Gudnason, or with his elite teammate Ho Lee Fook. "I am myself, and I will not be looking to replace or emulate anybody. I have full confidence that in the right time, people will start talking about me in a different light and start comparing others to me. As I said earlier, I'm here to compete, and will do everything in my power to develop in this wonderful environment. I would like to thank Mr. Louth for once again trusting in my potential, abilities, and character," said Gudnason II. We're in for a hell of a storyline this season.

Full Name: Birkir Holm Gudnason II Position: Defense Age: 20 Handedness: Right Jersey Number: 2 Height: 5'5" Weight: 140 lbs Birthplace: Reykjavik, Iceland Childhood and Upbringing As a child growing up in Reykjavik, Gudnason II was brought up in a wealthy family. His family owned a third-generation five-star world class resort, and it was the choice of international dignitaries and famous celebrities. Set on a 2,000-acre sized lot in the beautiful backcountry of Iceland, it boasted world class views of all the natural beauty that the country had to offer. Gudnason II grew up being fed Michelin star meals, was driven to school in a Porsche Macan, was taught five languages by five different live-in tutors, and pampered with muscle relaxation spas every day during the week and twice a day on weekends and holidays. Having grown up in wealth, he usually took private jets when he had to travel internationally, occasionally settling for first class on commercial airlines when logistical issues arose. Gudnason II was not your typical teenager growing up, as he was a constant fixture at the latest and trendiest worldwide events, concerts, festivals, and expos. Concerts saw him always land front-row VIP tickets to go along with backstage passes, and he was rumoured to have attended 46 of Rihanna's 75 shows in her past world tour, taking the opportunity to travel the world around concert nights, but more importantly taking the opportunity to hit on Rihanna; Rihanna is now often seen travelling to Iceland where she is picked up by helicopter upon arrival and taken straight to Gudnason's family-owned resort. Gudnason's wealth and influence is so massive that he managed to design his own colourway for the first season of Yeezy 350s, a hot pink base with white accents, that was a super-limited release of only 200 pairs worldwide in all sizes. College Life Gudnason II chose to attend post-secondary on the west coast of Canada, where his connections with China's super rich made it a perfect fit for him to continue practicing his fourth language, Mandarin Chinese, and live an affluent lifestyle at the same time. While he lived a low-profile life in Vancouver, he quickly changed once he was invited by his closest classmates to the casinos. Gudnason II spent a few nights every week in the VIP salons, usually whenever he wasn't attending theme nights such as Aura Fridays and Soju Sundays at the the nightclubs. Within a month, every casino executive and pit boss in the region knew of his presence. He would have his highs and lows while gambling five figures a hand, the legal maximum, and he would gamble and enjoy life in the company of no less than five Asian girls every night. Gudnason II was a female magnet, as his looks, wealth, personality, and intellect were the envy of all girls. He treated females with respect, and would only take them up to his private hotel room or back to one of his six properties with mutual consent. He would always use protection, even when the females begged him not to, because he was a responsible man who didn't want to have to deal with any issues afterwards. He would make these girls scream with joy, and he would take pride in it. Meanwhile, he would still manage to complete his commerce degree with the standing of exceptional honours. This was a man who could bunker down and get his schoolwork done efficiently and quickly, while still having time for an extravagant lifestyle outside of his studies - this was the very definition of work hard, play hard. Introduced to Hockey Gudnason II was a very good skater since his high school days, as he diligently practiced outdoors in the beautiful landscape of Iceland. He took to this new sport after he watched television dramas of guys taking girls to the skating rink on a date, where the girls who don't know how to skate would be holding tight to the guy's hands like her life depended on it. By the time he moved to Canada, he could skate forwards, backwards, clockwise, and counter-clockwise at full speed, some to a screeching halt, and accelerate back to top speed. He would often take girls that he deemed potential marriage partners (read: are not princesses who are superficial and only care about money and looks) to the local skating rink for weekend dates. One night, many weeks later, while he was on a date to the night market with his female friend, they saw a slapshot hockey booth amongst the many carnival games. When his friend saw that the top prize was a cute four-foot Tigger plush, she encouraged Gudnason II to try to hit the required 80 mph shot needed to win the toy. Gudnason II stepped up and totally missed the net on his first shot, as it went two foot wide of the right post and almost knocked out a bystander. All the other bystanders backed off and wowed, as although it didn't record on the radar gun, everyone could tell that this young man had a wicked slapshot. It took until the third try before Gudnason got the puck on target, and when the radar gun finally processed the speed, it flashed "02". Confused at what this meant, Gudnason took three more shots before he hit the net again, and the reading showed "04". Not satisfied at the clearly malfunctioning radar gun, Gudnason hit another shot, but this time he didn't hit the sweet spot as it was obvious even to the naked eye it didn't make clean contact. Nevertheless, it hit the net top corner and the radar gun flashed "96". It was now clear to everyone that his previous shots were an astonishing Chara-like 102 and 104 mph slapshots. His friend got the Tigger toy, and he landed himself an amateur tryout contract with the Vancouver Giants a few days later as news spread fast. While he ended up not making the Giants' roster, he was offered a contract to play for the Ottawa Lynx by head scout Keaton Louth, who was in town in the offseason. The rest, they say, is history waiting to be written.

Because **** Helinki that's why

Thought it was a Rudi Ying sig

Full Name: Birkir Holm Gudnason II Position: Defense Age: 20 Handedness: Right Jersey Number: 2 Height: 5'5" Weight: 140 lbs Birthplace: Reykjavik, Iceland Strengths Shot Power - Gudnason II has a booming shot from the blue line, and it is a lethal weapon on the man advantage; think Diego Jokinen or Keaton Louth lethal. His accuracy could use some work, as many of his shots don't make it on target. However, even a blind squirrel finds a nut sometimes, and with the number of shots Gudnason took in juniors, he was bound to top the scoring charts despite having less than ideal accuracy. If Takashi Fujimoto can be 12th in goalscorer rankings in just his second season, nothing is impossible for Gudnason II. Confidence - The Icelandic defenseman is a very confident man, and he knows that with the right work ethic, motivation, and dedication, that he'll be the next player that VHL general managers will be drooling over come next offseason. While he's very raw and unproven right now, he is eager to prove his doubters wrong through his body of work over the course of this VHLM season with Ottawa Lynx. Hopefully by the end of the year, he'll have both video footage and a pile of statistics to back up his confidence. Weaknesses Size - His small frame is a hindrance when he finds himself against the bigger and physical players such as Fook Yu and Guntis Petenis. While he was able to dominate in the finesse-based Icelandic game where even the slightest of physical contact is frowned upon, he will have to make adjustments to the North American game or he will quickly find himself on the next plane back to Reykjavik. Smaller players who rely on skill rather than physicality have certainly made their mark in the VHL, and Gudnason II will hope to follow in the foothpaths of the likes of Franchise Cornerstone and Defense - While he is a serviceable player that provides more utility than a pylon you would find scattered around during skating drills, Gudnason II can't be relied upon like Bobby Digital and shoulder the entire load. Not known for his shutdown capabilities, the Icelandic defender will need to work on this part of his game if he is to progress through the ranks and eventually be a upper-tier player in the VHL. Consistency - Calling Gudnason II an inconsistent player is a big overstatement, as he was known for going for stretches of upwards of ten games without scoring, but then following it up with a free-scoring spree where he'll make even the greatest of snipers jealous. Ask Sergei Komarov how it feels to be shut out during the playoff finals, multiply that feeling by ten times, and you'll feel how Gudnason II feels during his bad stretches. He'll need to learn to accept these swings if he is to succeed at a professional, and he'll have to work even harder during these tough times to help the team in other ways.

Green = I like this Red = I love this amirite

Plot twist @Frank drafted the wrong Keaton Louth. Real Louth is a rec hockey player while the Louth that played for Sasky last season is actually Gudnason II in a different identity

Six forwards? Guess no Rudi Ying for you!

RIP Helinki

Why is a professional playing rec hockey...

Why am I in this group lol

Week Ending Oct 8/17 Player Creation +30 Autobiography +10 Rookie Profile +8 Media Spot +6 Prediction Points +2 Scoring +56: 40 > 82 TPE Count: 0 + 56 = 56 Week Ending Oct 15/17 Media Spot +6 Fan590 Podcast +2 Trivia +1 Scoring +9: 82 > 85 TPE Count: 56 + 9 = 65 Week Ending Oct 22/17 Fan590 +1 Skating +1: 40 > 41 TPE Count: 65 + 1 = 66

Player Attributes Total Attribute Points: 85 CK = Checking: 40FG = Fighting: 40DI = Discipline: 40SK = Skating: 60ST = Strength: 40PH = Puck Handling: 40FO = Face Offs: 40PA = Passing: 40SC = Scoring: 85DF = Defense: 40PS = Penalty Shot: 40EX = Experience: 40LD = Leadership: 40

Just when the whole world thinks I'm going to Vegas... It's 15 hours since I've created, so I'm signing with...

RUDI YING OVER FRANCHISE CORNERSTONE LOLZ

Waiting for my ideal offers from @TheLastOlympian07 and @Fire Hakstol LOL