This is certainly over sharpened and contrasted, if both were tones down a bit I think this would look good. But I do like a lot of things on this one, the lighting is good, the layering is solid and I like how the render and bg blend. I think I would have done something a little different with the text, I feel like its kind of squished down there towards the bottom, maybe if the render was slid over to the left a little that would make room to move the text up and give you more space to work with.