AdamEss

Vyacheslav Smirnov - F @Cornflakers

why not not knowing what the fuck im doing has never stopped me when parenting, why should it stop me here?

SBA Welfare +6

This is sure as hell unique and very interesting.

No Mountain shenanigans this week I guess. ? 1) What are your thoughts on the league thus far? It's still quite a bit to take in. The discord is insane, the activity level is nuts, and I feel like I've really only scratched the surface in terms of just being here, interacting, and building the character of Mountain. 2) Which VHLM team would you like to be a part of next season? (Can find the current VHLM teams here) We'll, I'm hoping to move up after being drafted. But that's really going to be up to whoever drafts me. But I like to think that my general build of big defender whose entire offense is passing would be attractive. There's plenty of shooters. 3) What are the long-term goals for your player? Have fun, see what kind of leaderboards I can get him on to end hos career, say more ridiculous shit on character. Maybe a Twitter account 4) Who from the NHL would you compare your VHL player to? Man I don't really know. None really were intended as inspiration to begin with. 5) How did you arrive at your choice for your player's name? Alcohol. 6) What attribute(s) do you think you will be focusing on first with your player? I've been trying to make a balanced build in terms of hitting on most of the stats I wanted to build pretty equally. Try to make him competent right away. After that we'll see what I need for the next level.

sba welfare +6

1) So the VHLM Final series is here, Ottawa vs Halifax. Who do you think wins it? MOUNTAIN COULD CARE LESS. PERHAPS MOUNTAIN SHOULD FIND YOUR PREVIOUS GIRLFRIENDS AND FUCK THEM ALL AND THEN ASK YOU HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT IT. 2) Which player do you think will win the Playoff MVP award? MOUNTAIN IS MORE CONCERNED ABOUT WHICH VHL TEAM WILL HAVE THE SPINE TO DRAFT MOUNTAIN AND TURN MOUNTAIN LOOSE TO DESTROY. 3) The VHL World Cup will take place this season, do you believe you can make it onto your country/continents respected roster? .........THAT IS A COMPLICATED QUESTION FOR MOUNTAIN. 4/5/6) For the last three questions, summarise your experience this season of the following: 4) Your VHLM team's General Manager HE SMELLED TERRIFIC. 5) Your VHLM teammates THEY TOOK MOUNTAIN'S PASSES AND PLACED THEM INTO THE GOAL AT AN ACCEPTABLE RATE. ALSO, NO ONE STANK TOO BADLY WHICH IS NOT ALWAYS THE CASE IN A LOCKER ROOM. 6) Your VHLM team's performance IT ENDED IN DEFEAT.

Mountain Thunderfist Defenseman "6'6" 238 lbs. After a year has come and gone in the VHLM, Mountain Thunderfist prepares himself to enter the VHL Draft. His career started by coming out of seemingly nowhere and being drafted 30th overall by the Oslo Storm in the only pick in that draft that was not televised. He has spoken repeatedly about his belief that Oslo was ashamed to choose him base don this and what came next. He was quickly traded to the Las Vegas Aces before the regular season began, where he proceeded to shock quite a number of people and turn into a serious threat on the ice. A mysterious character known for referring to himself in third person at all times, his boisterous manner, and a really fucking loud speaking voice, Mountain is an intriguing prospect on and off the ice. Let's go over some of his strengths and weaknesses. Strength- Passing One doesn't generally expect to see this list as a strength right out of the gate for a defenseman, let alone one with the gigantic build of an enforcer like Mountain. Yet he finished with 51 assists on the season, good for 7th overall in the VHLM. Thunderfist is a crisp passer with the strength to put the puck anywhere on the ice that he wants it to go. Because he can do so, opposing teams will often be forced to play further from the net than they want to to try to counteract the giant with the deft touch. Even then, Mountain was one of only 7 players this season to have multiple assists while playing short handed. Weakness-Scoring It almost seems as if Mountain doesn't care about actually scoring. Whether it be a lack of confidence or a preference, he didn't take that many shots. A little more than 1 per game. Granted, to the naked eye, it might look like it simply made him mroe efficiant, as his 12 goals on so few shots drove some number crunchers wild. The truth is that Thunderfist passed up decent shots to give others the chance over and over again. There were some questions about a lack of killer instinct on the fofensive end, though somewhat muted by the rest of his play. Whatever the background, he's not a scorer and that's something that opposing coaches can find a way to exploit. Strength- Defense Mountain is a tenacious defender, whether he be using his huge frame to cover angles and force people to shoot elsewhere, or blocking enough shots (76) to finish 16th in the league, or simply just fucking walloping people as he did to the tune of 159 hits (10th in the league). No matter how he does it, the guy can play defense at a level that helped the Aces make the playoffs. He was the top defender on the team in terms of +/- for good reason. As he continues to grow into the role that he thrives in, he should frustrate more and more shooters as time goes on. Weakness- Discipline The drawback to Thunderfists's style of play is simple and straightforward. He spends a lot of time in the penalty box. And by a lot we mean a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT. 129 minutes to be exact this past season, which was 4th in the VHLM. He plays big, hits hard, and physically challenges everyone he goes up against. However he is going to need to improve his control and discipline a fair amount. Let's be honest, too, he was only in a few fights and didn't win any of them decisively either. He's not you classic bruiser, though he looks like one and his play seems to have shades of that style. The question will be whether his style is a detriment or a positive. After all, how many goals against the Aces happened because he was sitting in the penalty box instead of on the ice? Strength- Uneven Play He excelled at both power play and shorthanded hockey. As mentioned in his passing skill section, Thunderfist had multiple assists during penalty kills and was also a great asset during powerplays as well, scoring and assisting with great relish. It could simply be that the more ice there is, the better it seems to suit the gigantic player. Or it could be as simple as a matter of being able to put all his focus into one area. No matter what the reason may be, Thunderfist is someone you want on the ice during odd man situations. Weakness- Physically Disappointing Now this isn't to say he's not a tremendous physical specimen. That would be silly. But his skating is honestly just average. He hasn't shown the kind of dominant strength one would expect. As mentioned, his fighting seems mediocre. For someone of his physical makeup and indeed, his skill moving the puck, one would expect something.....more than what he's shown. Someone like Thunderfist ought to be an absolute game changer and instead what we've seen has just been.....good. Mountain Thunderfist is projected to be a late 3rd/early 4th round pick and if someone can get in there and smooth the rough edges and put a little fire in his belly, he could become an extremely good player. It remains to be seen how much of his strengths will translate to the more competitive VHL, while it's clear that his weaknessess will all translate just fine if unchecked.

Mountain Thunderfist was born to a pair of mixed race giants called Fingerians in the Land of Foon. Shortly after the Dark Lord began to gain power and hunt the giants down, they fled, and used what turned out to be a dimensional portal that brought them to our world behind an ice rink in northern Minnesota. They taught a young Mountain about his homeland as he grew and his lineage. For all intents and purposes, none of that was really super important to the remainder of Mountain's life, except for not dying a horrible death in a faraway world. Which sure....not dying as a child is important to growing up and playing hockey..a..rguably the most important thing actually...but not really to any extant other than that . What will be mentioned was the prodigious rate at which he grew. Even at just 8 years old, Mountain towered above his peers already, standing 4'11 and weighing almost 90 pounds. The kid was huge. And seemingly every sports coach in North America salivated at the mouth as they tripped over each other to convince Mountain and his parents (Rosethorn and Hardbrick Thunderfist) to have Mountain join their sport. A football coach and a lacrosse coach actually had a fistfight on the family's front lawn. It ended when the youth hockey coach arrived and broke up the fight by body checking both other coaches at once. Mountain fell in love with hockey on the spot. His sheer size and early developed athletic prowess proved somewhat of a problem, but also a blessing in disguise. He was still too large to play his peers, even by the standards of the sport so it was agreed that he would move up and play among the 12 year old kids. This forced him to catch up against much more skilled opponents form day one. Opponents who were 12 year old boys presented with a freakishly large 9 year old. You've met 12 year old boys. You know exactly how this goes. Said 12 year old boys had however not accounted for the fact that the target of their bullying was a literal giant whose parents were barbarian warriors. Mostly because it was (as I mentioned) no longer really important to the story. They probably would've ignored the information even if they had it. In the end, I doubt any of them were really worried about the details. Just the pissed off 9 year old thrashing them on the ice virtually every day as he skated around (with surprising skill) and knocked foes on their pubescent rear ends. Also, he learned some hockey. He actually became a top flight passer in addition to his natural affinity for defending the net form oncoming attack. By middle school, Mountain ate, slept, and breathed hockey. Also, he was an excellent gardener. He watched hockey on TV, studied it in books and magazines, and refused to even consider another sport. Rosethorn and Hardbrick supported their son's passions and the ability to fit into this world that it helped give him. They also did their best to fit in but only really succeeded about as much as most who grow up and then go through such a drastic change. They was always some weirdness and obvious "difference" to them no matter how well liked they were by their friends and neighbors. Which is to say the everyone just assumed they were from Quebec. The Thunderfists were a relatively normal norther Minnesota family. They worked hard, they loved each other, and they couldn't pronounce S's without adding a W afterwards for some fucking reason. Mountain continued to grow until his size actually created a question of whether he'd be forced to sit out until he entered high school due to the disparity. Ultimatley the town threatened to riot if they were forced to keep him off the local 13-15 year old team. Sure, they didn't use the word riot but that's pretty much what the plan was. Instead, Mountain was allowed to play and dominated everything aorund him. Yet still the young man knew intrinsically that he wasn't being challenged enough. He would practice with the high school team, play pickup games on the ponds with adults, and anything he could think of to test himself at a higher level. All the while managing to be a consistent B+ student at school and an avid member of the 4H. He also tried to have a paper route. One week and 13 broken windows later, it was mutually decided that this might not be the avenue for him. It was during this time period that he announced that he hated nachos one day. Even now no one knows why. High school saw a 6'3 Freshman Mountain Thunderfist playing varsity and knocking the crap out of people on a regular basis. His actual play had significantly improved over the preceding couple of years due to his indomitable will to challenge himself over and over again, made even stronger by the fact that so many things came easy for him. In additon to his burgeoning hockey career he was also a pretty nice guy who always had a kind (if somewhat loud) word to say to people and maintained his very good grades and helped people around the town frequently. Basically, he was one of the most hated people in school because every other teenager was ridiculously unhappy with having to hear themselves compared to "that Thunderfist boy". Because if there's one thing parents are good at, it's making teenagers despise one of their own for being too successful by comparison. But man could the guy play hockey. And grow tomatoes that were amazing. To be honest, the tomatoes probably didn't help his popularity with his peers. Mountain himself was more or less unaware of this all because mostly no one was going to tell him to his face. Or more like to his chest. So he continued to focus on his passion of hockey and helped lead the team to a State Championship as a Freshman. His other three high school years weren't as successful for the team as super suspicious rezoning sent some of the town's players to a different school, though Mountain himself continued to impress and slightly terrify fans and parents alike. I mean it was so suspicious that if this were the mid 90s, a talented teenage ninja would have come in and thwarted it all. That shit happened constantly in the mid 90s. It was a weird time. Mountain impressed multiple colleges and professional teams alike but as it turned out, when Mountain graduated high school he disappeared. Like....just totally fucking disappeared for a couple years. His parents wouldn't say where he was his freinds didn't know and the entire town was on the verge of really trying to get involved in the situation and figure out what was going on before cooler heads prevailed and reminded them....Quebec. Several year later, Mountain returned, walking over the hillside and blocking out the sun on those who saw him. Because they were children. I mean, yeah he's tall as fuck but most people can still see the sun. Mountain returned and brought with him directions to a lavish and well tended garden that he claimed would feed the town after he had gone. Which....while noble, wasn't exactly true. The town had a thriving agricultural and commerce setup and one really really good garden didn't change that. No one corrected him though because he was a freaking giant at this point. They just thanked him and his parents brimmed with pride. And then Mountain joined the VHLM draft pool with basically zero additional warning. Also, he got a puppy at some point. His name is Max, but this is not Max's story.

sba article +6

its not going well

1) We posted the VHLM Achievement Tracker for this season up for S63 draftees or players who've already been drafted to claim up to 20 TPE: MOUNTAIN DOES NOT PAY ATTENTION TO THESE THINGS. MOUNTAIN PAYS ATTENTION TO WHAT IS ON THE ICE. AND DESTRUCTION. 2) The playoffs are on the verge of starting today with the Wild-Card round which sees the Saskatoon Wild face the Oslo Storm in a 3-game series, with the winner facing the Halifax 21st in the semi-finals. Do you like the idea of the wild-card game or would you prefer to see playoffs contested solely between the top 4 teams? MOUNTAIN PREFERS COMPETITION. THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS. 3) There's a VHLM GM job opening available for the Oslo Storm, how do you feel you would do in such a role? THE OSLO STORM MADE THE GRAVEST MISTAKE POSSIBLE WHEN THEY TRADED MOUNTAIN AWAY AFTER NOT PUBLICLY ANNOUNCING THEY DRAFTED MOUNTAIN TO BEGIN WITH. THE ONLY ROLE MOUNTAIN WISHES IS TO BURN THEM TO THE GROUND AND SHIT UPON THEIR ASHES. 4) If the role didn't go to you, which member would you like to see take over the Oslo Storm? DID YOU NOT HEAR MOUNTAIN'S ANSWER TO THE LAST QUESTION? 5) The Aces and the Lynx are set to do battle in a tightly contested semi-final series, who do you think will wind up winners of the series? THE ACES WILL SMITE THESE PITIFUL CATS AND TAKE A PICK OF THE SPOILS. MOUNTAIN WILL BE FRONT AND CENTER AMONG THE CHAMPIONS. 6) The VHLM Magazine is currently three issues strong, what are your thoughts on the Magazine? THE PAGES ARE TOO SHARP FOR MOUNTAIN TO USE TO CLEAN HIS WASTE. ALSO, MOUNTAIN CANNOT HELP BUT TO CONSIDER THE ESCALATING AND WIDESPREAD DEFORESTATION PROBLEM FACING THE WORLD TODAY AND WONDER WHY NICHE MAGAZINES LIKE THIS ARE BEING PRINTED IN LARGE NUMBERS AT THE EXPENSE OF A SHRINKING NUMBER OF VIABLE TREE LIFE.

sba +6

Mountain Thunderfirst Defenseman +/- Points

1) This week, we've had a Mid-Season PT Theme bonus, where you got 10 extra TPE for making a PT about another player in the league. What theme would you like to be used next season? MOUNTAIN BELIEVES THAT THEMATICALLY FOCUSING ON THE PLAYERS OF THE LEAGUE WILL BENEFIT MOUNTAIN AS HE LEARNS WHO HE SHALL CRUSH. 2) We've also re-launched the VHL's Twitter account, and you can get 3 TPE for following the account and retweeting the recruitment tweet. Which social media platform do you think VHL should cover next? MOUNTAIN DOES NOT FOLLOW A PIDDLY LITTLE BIRD. 3) Four of the five playoff places in the VHLM have been decided, the remaining teams to battle it out for the last place in the playoffs are the Rush and the Wild. The Rush are three points behind the Wild, but the Rush have a game more to play and the two teams play each other twice before the season's end. Who do you think will make the playoffs? IT DOES NOT MATTER TO MOUNTAIN. THEY WILL ALL CRUMBLE BEFORE THE MIGHT OF THE ACES. 4) At the top of the table, it's a battle between the 21st and the Aces. The 21st are two points ahead of the Aces and the two teams play each other one more time before the end of the season. Who do you think will top the table come the end of the season? WHY DO YOU ASK QUESTIONS TO WHICH THE ANSWERS ARE OBVIOUS? OSCAR WILDE SAID THAT WE MAKE THIS WORLD OUR HELL. PERHAPS HE WAS RIGHT IN YOUR CASE. 5) Speaking of the 21st, they revealed their logo yesterday, what do you think of it? MOUNTAIN SAW THAT MOVIE. HE COULD HAVE FIT ON THE DOOR. 6) Finally, I'll be doing another Mock Draft in my weekly Draftee Rankings tomorrow, fill in the template below with who you think will go where in the first four picks! 1 (Helsinki Titans) - 2 (New York Americans) - 3 (Toronto Legion) - 4 (Riga Reign) - ALL ANSWER ARE THE SAME. MOUNTAIN OR SOMEONE MOUNTAIN MUST DESTROY.

sba +6

sba welfare +6

1) There were a lot of big trades this week; Sidney Crosby to Las Vegas, Ryan Kastelic to Ottawa and Dylan Nguyen and Ryuu Crimson to HFX. Which of these do you think will be the most significant trade? CROSBY TO VEGAS. CROSBY IS GREAT. MOUNTAIN IS VERY GLAD HE CAN PROTECT CROSBY INSTEAD OF CRUSHING HIM. 2) If you were a GM, and you held the number one pick in the draft, which Season 63 Draft Prospect would you select? MOUNTAIN IS THE OBVIOUS CHOICE. MOUNTAIN WILL DESTROY YOUR DREAMS IF YOU DO NOT. 3) We're now halfway through the season, is your team higher, lower or about what you expected in the league standings? MOUNTAIN IS NOT CONCERNED WITH SUCH THINGS. EVERY RACE IS A JOURNEY. NO ONE WINS AT THE HALFWAY MARK. 4) The World Juniors rosters have been announced; a) (If you made a team) Who do you think is going to be the star player for your roster? b) (If you didn't make a team) Which team do you consider the favourites for the tournament? MOUNTAIN DOES NOT WISH TO TALK ABOUT THE FOOLISHNESS OF NOT BEING SELECTED TO REPRESENT THE PEOPLE OF FOON. 5) In regards to your player and his attributes, what's the one area you plan to improve the most between now and the end of the VHLM season? MOUNTAIN MUST GROW STRONGER. HAVE BEEN PASSING PRETTY GOOD THOUGH. 6) I set up a new account @Uncapped TPE Opportunity that's been tagging members for new uncapped TPE opportunities, has this been useful to you at all? MOUNTAIN IS PLEASED.

SBA +6

intriguing

my player is form a fictional land thats not on Earth so I went with having it changed form Canada (for some reason) to World when the list was posted last weekish

its nice as anew player to see the league is still working on things 60+ seasons in and trying to make the best experience for everyone

sba article

Mountain is from the magical land of Foon. Which should be world I guess.