Gustav

Congrats on winning @Esso2264

First-ever Mississauga win!

Oh well, we tried. Nice game Cody Smith!

Hi there @Leon_Corral. I'm GustavMattias, GM of the Mississauga Hounds, and I see you've been recruited by one of my players. You're free to sign with whoever you'd like, of course, but if you're interested in being his teammate, just quote this offer and say "accepted" and I'll make you an offer on the portal. We can offer you a spot on our third line, with definite potential to move up the chart if you're active. If this sounds good, just quote this offer and say "accepted." Good luck, and don't be afraid to ask questions! -Gustav

F-Matt Thompson @nethi99

1. Recently, you were taken #11 overall in the VHL Entry Draft by Moscow. Tell us why you should have been at least #10. 2. The Menace have been projected to be, well, not that good, and so far their games have reflected that. Do you think the team is right for you? 3. What are your thoughts on the rivalry that seems to be brewing with Malmo? 4. Jerry Garcia recently scored his first career VHL goal against you, and some in Houston have speculated that it's because he knows your tendencies, having played with you for a year. What do you know about him that might help you shut him down in the future? 5. Have you met Putin yet? If so, what was he like? 6. You've applied for a few league jobs in the past season, but haven't been hired yet. Tell us why you should be hired the next time you throw out an application. @FacebookFighter

Hi there @JimBenningsHairDye (and, as Beaviss said, great name!) I'm GustavMattias, GM of the Mississauga Hounds, one of the VHLM's new expansion teams, and I'm writing here because we'd love to have you along for the ride this season. We came out with a strong draft class with lots of potential, and we're feeling good about our chances at success! We're looking for an active player who appreciates a helpful team community, and you just might do the job. If you choose to sign with us, I can promise you immediate time on our third line, with definite potential to move up the chart if you're active enough. If you're interested, just quote this offer and say "accepted," and I'll send you an offer on the portal. No matter who you sign with, good luck this season, and as always, feel free to ask if you have any questions. -Gustav

No further comment. All has been said.

Sorry I sent you the client file at first Devise. Lol

Lines are in! Let's get this party started.

I still say Night King is me. Only Third Person Gustav died.

1. How many teams were you actually considering signing with--how many really had a chance? Which ones? 2. Take any one of the teams you killed, and state the reason why. 3. If you weren't going to Seattle next season, where would you have liked to end up? Where wouldn't you? 4. Which locker room is better: Philly or Mississauga? 5. What's your second choice for a GoT-related player name? 6. Assuming "Night King" doesn't win, what would have happened if it had?

I plead not guilty on the basis of insanity.

MALMO--Some thought the Nighthawks reached for Rusty Shackleford in the second round, but he's very proud to say that, with his selection at 17th overall in the VHL Entry Draft on Saturday, he's the first active, shitposting, defensive defenseman to ever be picked up by the team in the draft. Oh, wait... Anyway, Shackleford recently released a statement containing an overview of every expansion city, VHL and VHLM, including his unsolicited opinion of the women of each city. Though he seemed to be a fan of the ladies in Malmo, he neglected to mention those of other VHL cities for comparison. It follows, then, that the media quickly caught up to him, and asked what he thought. Instead of answering for every VHL city, (a visibly drunk) Shackleford instead elected to go on a ten-minute-long, less-than-kind rant about Moscow, in which he made it more than clear that Malmo's women are indeed more appealing. At least one teammate agreed with him on the spot. "That's why I signed with this team," said Vaydar Odinsson. "As soon as I heard this team was interested, I bought my plane ticket and met [GM Christopher] Miller for lunch. Mind you, he wasn't expecting me, but I met him anyway. I know my Swedish girls, and they don't call me The Boobmaster for nothing." Odinsson and Shackleford decided to end the interview at this point, as they had plans at a local strip club and were opposed to the possibility of being late.

I especially loved watching the live stream and hearing everyone go all "goddammit Gustav" when pick #5 hit and it wasn't Jagr. Of course I had to miss a few picks. Upon further review, it looks like I completely forgot about the section of players I was wildly wrong about. I'll stick that in the comments here when I have the time.

It's been a few days since the release of Gustav's Mock Draft, that big thing I wrote that actually turned out pretty well (at least for a relatively inexperienced new guy). I've been thinking about breaking it down here, and now I will, 75% because I want to and 25% because @Beaviss wanted to see it. Here you have it... List of Picks Correctly Predicted by Gustav's Mock Draft: For the sake of common sense, if a team has two consecutive picks, and a player was predicted for one and drafted at either, that player is included. For example, Owen May was my predicted #10, but was picked at #11. He is included here because both picks were Moscow's. First Round: #1: Hunter Hearst Helmsley (Riga Reign) #2: Julius Freeman (Vancouver Wolves) #3: Shane Mars (Seattle Bears) #4: Mikko Aaltonen (Riga Reign) #7: Jerry Garcia (Malmo Nighthawks) #9: Aron Nielsen (Riga Reign) Second Round: #11: Owen May (Moscow Menace) #16: Apollo Hackett (Riga Reign) #17: Rusty Shackleford (Malmo Nighthawks) #20: Valeri Morozov (Seattle Bears) Third Round: #25: Edgar Tannahill (Moscow Menace) #26: Nethila Dissanayake (Calgary Wranglers, though Riga had the pick when I wrote up the mock) #29: Jordan Tonn (Helsinki Titans) Fourth Round: #33: Edward Vigneault (Moscow Menace) #35: Emil Passerelli (Moscow Menace) #37: Nacho (Malmo Nighthawks) #39: Rhys Chism (Helsinki Titans) Fifth Round: Nothing to see here, though I will say that at this point the draft starts to become guesswork more than anything else. Overall, the mock correctly predicted 17 out of 50 picks, a rate of 34%. It hit about a third of the picks, and if we only went through the fourth round, we'd be at 17 out of 40 (42.5%). List of Players Selected One Pick Away from Mock Prediction: #5: Dmitri Volosenkov (Moscow Menace, predicted Davos at #6) #15: Bert Meyers (Helsinki Titans, predicted Vancouver at #14) #21: Beau Buefordsson (Moscow Menace, predicted Helsinki at #22) #22: Ludvig Sederstrom (Helsinki Titans, predicted Moscow at #21) #30: Guillaume Fontenette (Helsinki Titans, predicted Moscow at #31) So, this means that the mock was within one pick of 44% of players, and within one pick of over 50% of players through the first four rounds! I'm not going to figure these into any statistics here, but here are the players who went to the team I predicted, but at a different (nonconsecutive) spot or a different round: #6: Charlie Paddywagon (HC Davos Dynamo, predicted #13) #12: John Frostbeard (Calgary Wranglers, predicted #32) #28: Hans Gruber (Vancouver Wolves, predicted #18) #52: Dylan Doyle (Calgary Wranglers, predicted #40) Here's a list which breaks down the mock's accuracy by team... Malmo Nighthawks: 3/5 (60%) Riga Reign: 5/9 (55.6%) Seattle Bears: 2/4 (50%) Moscow Menace: 4/9 (44.4%) Vancouver Wolves: 1/4 (25%) Calgary Wranglers: 1/5 (20%) HC Davos Dynamo: 0/6 (0%) New York Americans: 0/2 (0%) Toronto Legion: N/A So yeah, I'd attribute quite a bit of this mock's success to dumb luck, but all in all I'm proud of it. (The above is 500 words exactly, didn't even know until I copied and pasted into Word to make sure)

@Phil what do you think about this

Can confirm, I most definitely would have screwed this up had I been in this situation.

I wonder how Beaviss feels about Ghost Peace Feet

I think Bana just set up Peace's death. Come join Third Person Gustav in Hell.

We should have all made brackets to see who dies in what order. Extra TPE to whoever wins. And speaking of winners...Mississauga is watching intently.

Sign me up. Came in second last season and my picks were 100% guesswork. Time to completely bomb it this season, because that's how life is.