DMaximus

It's been enough time to skip @Grape @Josh., you're up.

Reaper Records for Hits and Blocked Shots this game! Tough loss in a hard fought game against a good team.

Back to back hat tricks for the Reapers! Brian Strong game 1, Mikko Aaltonen game 2. Looking good even in a loss.

My vote for goal of the week. Look at that puck movement! 2nd period Time : 15. Jet Jaguar wins face-off versus Raphael Nazarians in neutral zone. Pass to John Frostbeard. John Frostbeard moves puck in Saskatoon Wild zone. Pass to Jet Jaguar. Pass to Brian Strong. Pass to Jet Jaguar. Pass to Piongyu. Pass to Jet Jaguar. Pass to John Frostbeard. Pass to Brian Strong. Pass to John Frostbeard. Pass to Jet Jaguar. Shot by Jet Jaguar. Goal by Jet Jaguar - Saskatoon Wild : 2 - Philadelphia Reapers : 1

Reapers inaugural game at The Crematorium is a Win! Great job team!

21 Riga Reign @ Moscow Menace 22 Helsinki Titans @ Calgary Wranglers 23 Toronto Legion @ HC Davos Dynamo 24 Seattle Bears @ New York Americans 

Seattle 4-1

D - Ryan Kastelic F - Jake Davis @wuma @xDParK

Review: Fantastic Biography. I like the picture each step of the way. I love that you used quotes to provide examples of what was being written in the story. This guys is hockey player through and through, broken teeth and all. One thing I was wishing for was more insight into why Rusty loved hockey as a kid. It was unexpected that someone from Texas with a father that was a rodeo star would choose hockey. I wish his reason for loving hockey and the effect that had on his father and peers was explored a little more. Excellent biography. You got me interested in following Rusty's career. Thank you for the story.

Review: I wish there were an introduction to the player(s) at the beginning of the article. It took me a little time to understand who the story was about. I don't think you even mention the brothers first names in full until near the end. But still, I really enjoyed this biography. I like that you discussed the brothers main driver for success, an innate sense of competition. It's great you added information from the father as well. Thank you for writing this story.

Review: Great job fully fleshing out a story of the career of John to this point. I like that you added in that he has interests outside of hockey, specifically music and schooling. I hope that can be an ongoing discussion topic for John in his future. One unrealistic part is that a person in Buffalo would be able to wear a Toronto without getting beat up ?. Seriously though, great job. Thank you for writing this story.

Review: Well written biography. I liked the pictures added. They give a visual aid to the story. I was a little disappointed the pictures stopped and each stage didn't have a picture to accompany it. However it is still a good biography of a hard working individual who comes from a hard working city. Thank you for creating this story.

Charlie Paddywagon steps to the podium to answer questions. 1) The draft is over, the signings have settled down, and the VHLM is just about ready to get things started. Who do you think is the favorite, going into this season? I’ll be honest with you, I’ve been so focused on myself and my teammates, I haven’t spent much time looking at the rest of the league. Minnesota looks loaded with talented players. 2) With teams filling up this quickly, further expansion of the VHLM might be a potential talking point. Where would you put another minors team? I’ve always wanted to go to Australia. They should put a team there. 3) The offseason's ending- what's your player's plan to get back in shape for game 1? I never fell out of shape. I’m constantly working out and training. You’ll see the results on the ice. 4) Do you/your player have any preseason superstitions to help boost their performance? No real superstitions. I guess I make sure I pour my cereal for at least 3 seconds on game day, at at least a 32 degree angle, from a height of at least 12 inches. 5) Now that you've had time to get used to your team, who's been your favorite teammate thus far? I think Kandee has been trying to seduce me. But I’m a big fan of all the guys and girls on the team. 6) If the commissioners/GMs could do one thing to make your VHLM experience more fun, what would it be? Charlie (player): I think they should allow us to bring weapons on the ice. That would be fun! DMaximus (human): As someone who has never done a league like this before, it could be a little more clear how things work. You can dig around and figure stuff out, but it sort of feels like you get thrown to the wolves when you first join.

When Philadelphia was awarded a VHLM franchise, the Reapers GM, BladeMaiden, made a controversial decision by choosing to build an arena in the middle of the historic Mount Moriah cemetery in southwest Philly. After much bickering, tons of lawsuits, and 18 months of digging up thousands of graves, the arena was completed just in time for the inaugural season of the Reapers. The Crematorium, a $1.5 billion arena, is a marvel to look at. The arena is styled like a gothic cathedral, complete with ornate carvings, towering spires, flying buttresses, and a massive Reapers’ logo made of stained glass above the main entrance. Newly drafted defenseman, Charlie Paddywagon greets me at the entrance to the cemetery. Charlie welcomes me with giddy excitement, “This place is so awesome.” He’s quik to point out the careful planning that went into the design of the exterior of the area. “The visitor’s parking lot is way over there.” Charlie says as he points to a distant corner of the cemetery. “There’s no path for them to walk on to get to the arena. They just have to walk over graves. I hope they don’t wake up the dead.” Charlie laughs. “And we have a special area carved out for our enemies.” he says as he shows me a new section of the graveyard with pre-dug open graves. There’s an ominous banner hanging overhead that simply says “Visiting team”. Charlie smiles and says “All doctors in the Crematorium are required to carry body bags, just in case.” As we walk around the outside of the arena, statues of hockey greats sit atop columns every couple of feet. “They put up 100 statues around this arena, all the greats.” Charlie says, “One day they’ll be knocking down one to put me up there.” He says confidently. A bit flummoxed, he continues “Well not me, actually… but a statue that looks like me.” We reach the entrance and its impressiveness cannot be overstated. It is spectacular. The Reapers’ logo, already a beautiful logo, looks stunning in stained glass. The entrance “portals” are massive black steel doors complete with little scythe handles you pull on to open. Above the doors are tympana with beautifully carved scenes of great moments in hockey history. As you enter through the portals, all the historic beauty of the outside is starkly contrasted by the ultra-modern, hi-tech inside. Upon entering the main corridor, you brain is assaulted from all directions: lights of all colors flashing everywhere, huge screens demanding your eyeballs’ attention, sounds assailing you from every direction. It is sensory overload. Charlie says, “We want to make sure our fans have as great an experience as possible.” We pass small areas designed for people of all ages to have fun, arcade here, mini basketball court there, beer garden here, face painting booth there. There’s even an area with gambling kiosks to allow fans to bet on any game. “We had to sell the land the kiosks are on to New Jersey, because gambling is legal there. If Pennsylvania ever makes it legal, we might have to go to war to reclaim the land. We’ll see.” “Come check out my favorite thing.” Charlie says as he leads us to their virtual reality center. There a six stations setup with full body tracking, including sticks, skates, and goalie equipment at one station. “This area is designed for our fans to play as us. They can destroy our opponents here, while we destroy them on the ice. Get suited up and check it out.” We put on the motion tracking haptic suits, lace up the “skates” which are fabric boots that accurately simulate skating by sliding on the surface of your virtual pod, grab a stick controller, and put on the virtual helmet. We are transported to a virtual replica of the Reapers’ ice surface. Charlie’s avatar appears, skating right next to mine. “Here catch” he says, passing me a puck. I instinctively catch the puck with my stick, it feels almost too real. Charlie then slams into me with a massive body check, my avatar slams to the ground and my haptic suit buzzes at the point of contact. “On Reaper ice, if you touch the puck, I hit you.” Charlie says, helping my avatar up. “We use this for training.” He says as he loads up the Reapers’ opening night opponent, the Saskatoon Wild. Within seconds we’re in a full game against the Wild. Charlie adds “We’ve been using this system to train all offseason. We’re ready for everyone in the VHLM and even some VHL teams. The best part is you can do anything here, like this!” Charlie exclaims as he pulls a chain saw from thin air and decapitates Shawnomir Jagr, Saskatoon’s top pick in this year’s draft. The only thing more shocking than looking at a headless professional hockey player is the delightful cackles coming from Charlie. Thankfully Charlie shuts down the simulation and we continue the tour. As we walk around the corridors in the arena, I’m able to pry some personal antidotes from Charlie. He shares “You know, it’s been a tough road for me and my family. We’ve been through a lot, nearly torn apart. I’ve remained dedicated to hockey my whole life, heck hockey is my whole life. It’s good to feel all that hard work paying off now…. Oh man! You have to check out our organ!” he exclaims as we enter the organ room. The Reapers’ organ is an exact replica of the bone organ from the movie “The Goonies”. Like many things in this arena, it is simultaneously creepy and impressive. Charlie says, “They told me they stole this from one-eyed pirate. That is awesome.” When I mention that there’s an extremely popular movie that had this same organ and that story isn’t real, Charlie gave a puzzled look, waited a moment and said “Oh, well I only watch hockey movies. I’ve seen “Miracle” over 3,000 times.” At long last, we exit the corridor and enter the arena part of the complex. Some of the gothic stylings return here, with a tall, rib vaulted ceiling. The scoreboard is, fittingly, a massive golden urn. The pure white of the ice enhances the brilliant colors of the Reapers logo at center ice. Charlie points out a working cremation chamber on the north end of the ice. “At the beginning of every game, we’re cremating the opposing team’s mascot.” Charlie says, alluding to what’s rumored to be an epic pre-game show the Reapers plan to put on. He laughs, “Maybe some players will join their mascot by the end of the game.” At that point, our tour wrapped up. This reporter is invited back for a showcase of the “behind the scenes” spots like the locker rooms and to possibly meet some of the Reapers’ staff members. Watch this space for another article detailing the new Philadelphia Reapers arena, The Crematorium. 1155 Words TPE for weeks ending on 3/3 and 3/10

Welcome to the Philadelphia Beat Report, your inside scoop to the Philadelphia Reapers! The off-season is a busy time for every team. It’s especially busy for expansion teams. The Reapers GM, BladeMaiden, has spent many sleepless nights trying to fill out the Reapers’ roster. Efforts were complicated with turnover at the Assistant General Manager position. You could simultaneously hear the exhaustion and excitement in BladeMaiden’s voice when she announced the Reapers’ new AGM, DilIsPickle. All the hard work has paid off as the Reapers have signed multiple coveted free agents. High profile free agent signings like C - Tyler Barabash Jr and C - Jet Jaguar and hard offseason work by RW - Mikko Aaltonen, RW - John Frostbeard, D - Charlie Paddywagon, G - Wendy Kandee Cain, and G - Patrick Vigneault have led to the beat report hearing optimistic statements from multiple sources. “One of the common knocks on an expansion team is that there’s no cohesion. A bunch of random players get thrown together and it takes time for them to gel. I don’t see that with this team. The locker room has been a great place. Everyone is working together and supporting each other.” Another source quipped “There’s so much good energy right now. If they can keep up that energy for the whole season, watch out!” Fans and players alike are hoping this wave of optimism can carry the Reapers to greatness.

With my 1st pick. I select F - Matt Thompson @xDParK you're on the clock.

Player Name: Charlie Paddywagon VHL/VHLM Team: Philadelphia Reapers Cash you have: $1.5 Million Purchase Name: "The First Generation" Cost of Purchase: $500,000 Cash Left: $1 Million

Since the completion of their inaugural draft, the GM of the VHLM expansion team Philadelphia Reapers, BladeMaiden, has thoughtfully organized team building activities for her newly drafted players. This beat reporter is hearing things may have gone awry during a recent activity. What was intended to be a light-hearted, charming event devolved into a heated argument among teammates. The planned event was a “cuteness showdown.” Each player was instructed to showcase a personal item that they found adorable. An anonymous source, who asked not to be revealed due to the sensitive nature of the issue, provided an inside report of the event. Goalie Wendy “Kandee” Cane had an endearing picture of her dog emulating owner Wendy by posing as a goalie in between the pipes. GM BladeMaiden showed off an equally adorable picture of her dog patiently waiting to eat a treat. LW, Hans Gruber showed a picture of his newborn baby daughter. Everyone agreed that nothing could possibly be cuter than Hans’ baby daughter and the winner was declared. Surprisingly, this is when things took a turn for the worse. C, Walter Clements accused Hans Gruber of cheating in the cuteness showdown. He yelled “Human babies are off limits in cuteness contests! Everyone knows that! You can’t show a picture of your beautiful newborn baby because of course that’s the cutest thing ever! It’s unfair to us non-baby makers!” Hans immediately took exception to being called out and got right in the face of Walter and said “if you say another word about my daughter, it will be your last.” Thankfully D, Charlie Paddywagon and RW, Mikko Aaltonen stepped in between the two arguing players to separate them and defuse the situation. BladeMaiden helped salvage the evening with some parting words of encouragement echoed by the entire Reaper organization and likely the entire VHL. Congratulations to Hans Gruber (@TheFlash) on your newborn daughter!

Worst Team: Mercs Bronze Medal: Scandinavia Silver Medal: World Gold Medal: Canada

I want in.

What’s in the Suitcase? Welcome to a new article called What’s in the Suitcase? The premise is simple, we chat with a professional hockey player to find out what’s in their suitcase. This is an exciting time of year for many young players who just got drafted. We reached out to Charlie Paddywagon, a draftee on the expansion team Philadelphia Reapers of the VHLM to ask: What’s in the Suitcase? Charlie, we hear this is your first trip out of the state of New York. Is that true? Yeah, actually I never thought of that until now, when you just asked me that question. I guess so, although I went to Canada a couple of times for hockey tournaments, does that count as a state? No Canada is not a state. But, that means you have travelled out of the state of New York to the country of Canada. Ok. Good. You’re going to be moving and living in Philadelphia. I'm guessing you have probably got a pretty big suitcase packed? Well it’s so big it’s more than one suitcase. So I guess no, I don’t have a big suitcase packed, more like a couple of normal sized suitcases, although one is bigger than the other, is that what you’re asking about? If that’s the case I would say I have a normal big suitcase and other normal suitcases, not just a pretty big suitcase. Sounds good, thanks for the update on your suitcase sizes. Now let’s get down to the main question what’s in the suitcase? So which suitcase are you asking about? Because there’s different stuff in each of them. Do you want me to tell you about the normal big one? Or just pick one at random and open it up? Or, I don’t know what you want, man. I don’t think the question is as literal as you’re interpreting it. It’s meant as a general discussion point to get you to talk about some items you pack in your suitcase, which, in turn, gives us some insight into who you are. Any funny or quirky items are ideal. Oh, ok so I have some t-shirts and socks. I’m not sure you’re getting the point of this. How about you pick the 3 most important things you’ve packed and tell us about those? Ok. Number 1 is my lucky tape roll. This was my first roll of tape I used in my second game. I didn’t use it in my first game because I didn’t know you could tape your pads and socks. But this kid Jimmy told me about it. So next game I got tape and used it. It was great. I keep using that same roll forever, it always travels with me. I’m not sure I understand how that works. Hasn’t it run out of tape? Well duh. I keep adding new tape to it. I buy a new tape roll, unroll the whole thing, then add it to my lucky tape roll. Interesting. That seems like that is very time consuming. What’s item #2? Item #2 is my diary. Woah?! You keep a diary? Would you care to read us an entry? Of course I keep a diary, doesn’t everyone? I’ll read you my entry from today: “Poured cereal into bowl from height of 17 inches. 6 pieces missed. Total pouring time 5.4 seconds. Poured milk into bowl from height of 20 inches. Some splash hit kitty-kat. Not happy, but ultimately liked milk off self. Total pouring time 2.3 seconds.” That’s amazing. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. What’s the 3rd item in your suitcase? My dad’s gun. I take that with me everywhere. Um, I don’t think you’re allowed to travel with that. Are you going to stop me? No. No I won’t. Didn’t think so. Charlie, thank you so much for taking the time out of this busy moment in your life to tell us "What’s in the suitcase?" Have a great day and good luck in Philadelphia. Based on how this went, I’m not sure we’ll be doing this feature anymore. But hopefully you'll see another articled asking a player What’s in the Suitcase? Note to others, if you wish to steal this format for your player, please do!

An oral biography on the young life of Charlie Paddywagon Narrator (DMaximus): I spoke with people that have played a part in Charlie Paddywagon’s life to compile an oral history of how he got to where he is today, a newly drafted hockey professional hockey player. The quotes have been cleaned up to remove unnecessary interjections and crude language. Donnie Paddywagon (father): We grew up in an affluent suburb of Buffalo, NY. We’re a family with a long lineage of policemen. Charlie’s great-great grandfather, Charles, was the first Irishman to be named police commissioner in Buffalo. From then on, if you were a male Paddywagon, you were a cop. Finn Paddywagon (brother): Charlie was the youngest of 4 brothers. He always displayed a defiant streak from birth. Dolores Paddywagon (mother): Charlie grew up questioning everything, even as a baby he turned his nose up at our beloved family potato soup recipe. As a kid he’d always be asking why we did this or why daddy sought fit to beat unarmed citizens. He was a handful. All his brothers were so compliant. I never understood why Charlie never fell in line like the rest of them. Probably because he was the youngest and we were kind of sick of kids by that point. Finn: We all loved hockey. I think we had Charlie in skates before he was walking. Dolores: When the pond out back froze, Charlie would skate outside night and day. We had to create a dinner bell loud enough for him to hear. Or he’d have starved to death. Donnie: Charlie was a natural, he was already skating circles around everyone on the ice, then we put a stick in his hand and he was unstoppable. My police force sponsored a kid’s league, it was only natural for Charlie to join and start playing. We signed him up at 7, even though you needed to be 8 or older to join. I was able to pull some strings with the boys and got him in. Joseph Paddywagon (eldest brother): Charlie was so funny when he first started playing, he never understood line changes. He just wanted to stay on the ice for the whole game. Coaches had to go out there and drag him off the ice. Dolores: Charlie was doing so great, he was MVP of the police league his first year! By the end of the 2nd year, he was picked to join the all-sectional team. Paul Debenar (Western New York sectional team coach): We heard a ton of people talking about this Paddywagon kid. I went and checked out a game. He was fantastic. Not too many kids play with his level of awareness. Plus he could skate better than anyone I’ve seen at his age. Of course we recruited him to the sectional team and he was all set to join, then the accident… Chet Lowery (policeman, Donnie’s partner): Our cop parties got pretty wild. You work a job like ours, you need to blow off steam. Donnie sure knew how to blow off steam. That September night was no different than any other. Heck, I was just as drunk as Donnie when we left. Franklin McCullough (ex-mayor Buffalo, NY): My son, Thomas, was killed by a drunk driver, Donnie Paddywagon, on September 24th 2009. May God rest his soul. Chet: Normally we’re able to shield our cop brethren from getting in trouble for minor offenses. But this was the mayor’s son. This was a big deal. There was nothing we could do for Donnie. He got convicted and sentenced to 15 years, vehicular manslaughter. Donnie: There’s nothing good about prison, especially for a cop. I’d take it all back if I could. Dolores: Our family was absolutely devastated by Donnie’s guilty verdict. Who wouldn’t be? Everyone reacted in their own way. Charlie chose to absorb himself in hockey. All hockey, all the time. Joseph: You had to admire Charlie. Dad’s stuff really shocked us, but Charlie kept his nose clean and kept doing what he loved, hockey. Paul Debener: I remember after it all went down, Dolores brought Charlie to me and asked if he could try out for the sectional team. I asked to talk to him alone. I said Charlie “do you want to do this?” He looked at me and nodded yes. He said as resolutely as I’ve ever heard him talk, which isn’t much, “I want to play hockey.” I knew from that moment on, he was a kid destined for hockey greatness. Finn: Charlie was almost too good they didn’t know what to do with him. They played him at every position, including goalie. He could do it all. Paul Debener: Eventually I said “look kid, you gotta pick a position.” He said he wanted to play defense. And that was before his growth spurt. I guess defense is in his heart. Dolores: Charlie grew about 7 inches when he was 13. Shot up like a beanstalk. Finn: Charlie was so uncoordinated that year, we used to sneak up behind him and table him. He’d get so mad. I think he got sick of us knocking him over, so he started hitting the gym. I don’t think we, or anyone else, messed with him too much after that. Bruce Angler (coach, high school): Charlie was big and strong before he was even in high school. We petitioned the high school league to get him to join our team before he was in high school. They denied it. Probably because the board was stacked with alumni from our rival school, the Houndscroft High Hooligans. That jerk would slap his own mama if it meant getting a win. Brandon Lawrence (high school teammate): Charlie was a quiet guy. Didn’t really say much. I don’t think anyone on the team was his best friend. He always kept to himself. But none of that mattered when he stepped on the ice. He was a man possessed out there. Bruce Angler: His performance on the ice was second to none. Best player I’ve coached. He would just dominate out there. Sometimes I thought about pulling the goalie when he was on the ice. I know he’d keep things under control on our half of the ice. We wouldn’t even need the goalie. Robbie Duval (high school goalie): Sure it was great playing with Charlie. I got to check out all the babes in the stands during the game.(laughs) I think one game he blocked every shot the other team took when he was on the ice. He’s fearless. And that’s coming from a goalie, I’ve don’t even know what fear is. John Henson (coach, Clarkson University): We started watching Charlie since he was about 14. After learning about all he went through as a kid and seeing him play, we knew he fit our program perfectly. We offered him a full scholarship, fully expecting he would go professional before completing his 4 years here. He joined our team, had a great freshman year, winning conference freshman of the year. And now he got drafted by Philly in the VHLM. We all wish him the best. Great kid coming from a tough situation. Everyone’s rooting for his success. Dolores: Charlie has been able to create so many moments of joy for this family. He's brought all of us together when times have been rough. He deserves all the success he's going to have and hopefully Buffalo will remember the Paddywagon name fondly. Donnie: One thing I promised to my son many years ago was that my first activity as a free man will be to watch him play hockey professionally. He did all this work to hold up his end of the bargain. I’m counting down the days to hold up my end. My actions may have torn this family apart, but Charlie and hockey will bring us back together.

Charlie Paddywagon Age: 19 Birthplace: Buffalo, NY Height: 6’4” Weight: 208 lbs. Position: Defense Shoots: Right Drafted: Philadelphia Reapers, 6th Rd S65 VHLM Dispersal Draft Charlie Paddywagon is a strong, traditional stay-at-home defenseman. He uses great hockey sense to his advantage, resulting in precise defensive positioning and smart plays on the ice. His height and strength allow him to physically control other players, clearing out the front of the net and winning battles along the boards. Strengths Strength – Charlie has a lean, muscular build. He uses every inch of his tall frame to leverage his body and move opposing players. His strong legs and good balance provide a base where he is always in control of his body and motion. When in control of the puck, he is difficult to knock off it. His strong grip and control of his stick makes him a master at using his stick to his advantage in both dislodging control from others and maintain control himself. Defensive Positioning – Charlie exhibits next-level hockey sense. He seems to be able to predict the flow of the game with uncanny accuracy. He is always in position and his awareness of his surroundings leads to excellent decision making both with and without the puck. A product of multiple different coaches that taught different styles of play, Charlie is very coachable. He can adapt to any defensive scheme the coach wishes to employ. Passing – Charlie makes crisp passes that are consistently hit the mark. His vision and sense allows him to see who is open where on the entire surface. He really excels at starting the breakout. His first pass is efficient, commonly finding the best player to lead the team out of the defensive zone. In the offensive zone, he is a little less comfortable, especially under pressure. His default action is to dump it into the corner. Weaknesses Scoring – Charlie is a sub-par shooter. His slap shot is laughably inaccurate, until you see how poor his wrist shot it. Because of his sheer strength, he can get some good speed on his shots, but the inaccuracy is really holding him back. He claims to be working on this part of his game, but that work has not shown itself on the ice yet. Do not expect many goals from Charlie. Leadership – Charlie is not one for many words of inspiration. Charlie will not be the guy to stand up in the middle of the locker room and rally the team when times are tough. He will grab his lunch pail day after day and keep working as hard as he ever has. Teammates can see how hard he works on and off the ice and follow his steps there, but that’s about it. Puck Handling – With his tall frame, Charlie has a tough time handling the puck as fluid as many other players. His strength and strong stick control does allow him to fend off some defenders, but don’t expect him to deke out or pull a dipsy-do on someone.

I saw it on a post on the r/sabres subreddit.