RunnerBert11

Canada botched this for the masses!

Canada botched this for the masses!

Review - Well now it's official, I'm goign to have to queue up Planes, Trains and Automobiles after reading this. I love that movie and love how you spun that into a player bio. I do wish there was a little more background and early year information about your player to really help create a full picture, but nonetheless great bio and good luck in the upcoming season! RIP John Candy

Review - Great write up, very detailed and I like how you had the personal accounts or quotes sprinklend in there at every turn of your life, but on slightly odd topics, equipment managers, losing teeth, etc. This guy seems a lot like a guy I used to rent an apartment with back in college, substitute the Bulleit our for Kessler and I think we'd have a match. I bet that bull-riding background and hard work ethic has paid dividends for you time and time again on the ice. Good luck this upcoming season! Cheers!

@RunnerBert11
 
2 TPE
 

Everything looks fine to me.

Meyers shows up to empty locker room in Oslo
 
(Oslo, Norway) Yesterday newly recruited left winger, Bert Meyers grabbed his bags after a 13 hour flight from snowy Wisconsin only to show up to a vacant locker room where the now Minnesota Storm used to reside just days before. Meyers must have been too concerned with how he was going to celebrate his first minor league contract that he didn't bother to read between the lines and noticed that after the conclusion of the 64th season the Oslo Storm relocated a few hours from his hometown in the Land of 10,000 Lakes (Minnesota, neighbor state to his home-state Wisconsin). Bert's lack of attention to detail cost him over a day in the air and a few thousand dollars of that new contract money, when he could've packed up in his truck and made it to the new practice facility by way of road in under 8 hours. Hopefully this minor hiccup doesn't set Bert back too much and he can get settled into his new apartment and caught up on rest before the season kicks off.

Meyers shows up to empty locker room in Oslo
 
(Oslo, Norway) Yesterday newly recruited left winger, Bert Meyers grabbed his bags after a 13 hour flight from snowy Wisconsin only to show up to a vacant locker room where the now Minnesota Storm used to reside just days before. Meyers must have been too concerned with how he was going to celebrate his first minor league contract that he didn't bother to read between the lines and noticed that after the conclusion of the 64th season the Oslo Storm relocated a few hours from his hometown in the Land of 10,000 Lakes (Minnesota, neighbor state to his home-state Wisconsin). Bert's lack of attention to detail cost him over a day in the air and a few thousand dollars of that new contract money, when he could've packed up in his truck and made it to the new practice facility by way of road in under 8 hours. Hopefully this minor hiccup doesn't set Bert back too much and he can get settled into his new apartment and caught up on rest before the season kicks off.

Don't have any background with any Photoshop like programs, but I have had some experience back in grade school with MS Paint. So low and behold my stab at a signature. I put by player in front of the Oslo sky-line since I recently signed with the Oslo Storm. I tweaked his actual helmet and jersey from Detroit to an Oslo Storm-esq jersey. If you look close you can see my attempt to mask the captain "C" on his jersey, just didn't feel right having it on my chest knowing damn well my freshly recruited ass has a lot of respect to gain before I can even think about that.

Bert Meyers

Position: Left Wing
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 175lbs
Shoots: Right
Hometown: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
 
STRENGTHS
 
Passing - Bert Meyers is a pass-first shoot-second left winger from the time he's been able to skate. This is that one skill that sets him a notch above the rest and catches peoples attention. He has eagle-like vision on the ice that allows him to feed his teammates night after night. He has the ability to predict players movements before they happen that allows him to get the puck through even the narrowest of windows and always put the puck on some lucky recipients tape. If his knack for passing and assists can translate to the next level, his teammates are in for a treat and a nice boost in their own goal scoring.
Defense - From the start of his career Bert has had coaches around him that have preached and stressed the importance of defense and being able to play both ends of the ice. If you can shutdown the other team you don't have to find the back of the net as often, which is good since Bert has never been much of a scoring threat. Bert's long reach from his abnormally long wingspan gives him the ability to poke check from deceiving distances to catch the opposition off guard and keep stress of his net-minder. Again Bert's ability to predict player's movement keeps him a skate ahead of the rest and allows him to get in the passing lanes.
Endurance - Having a mother who had success as a collegiate runner, Bert was a distance runner in high school. This history of distance running and his dedication on and off the ice has given him the lungs and legs to grind through even the longest shifts and enables him to help tremendously down the stretch when other players start to feel gassed. This is the main reason Bert is no stranger to come from behind victories and attributes to his amass of game-winning points.
 
WEAKNESSES
Physicality - This has never been a strong suit of Bert and given his somewhat monkey-like frame he lacks the physical aspect of play that most players bring to the rink. He certainly isn't moving players out there on the ice and has been seen from time to time scooping himself off the ice or peeling himself off the glass. Hopefully with some time in the weight room and some focus he can narrow the gap.
Speed - Even though Bert never seems to run out of steam he isn't leaving anyone in hisdust. His long distance running background brings little in terms of acceleration and top speed. Though he may not have the edge on players in the beginning of the game, his speed doesn't seem to fall off as fatigue sets in and his endurance allows him to match opponents speed late in the 3rd or OT when it matters most. Hopefully when Bert finds the weight room and begins to increase his strength that translates to a little more speed on the ice to help him create space and open up more passing lanes.
Communication - Bert isn't your speech giving locker room presence. He is very much a lead-by-example kind of guy. He is the type to encourage and rally the troops individually through small conversations but will rarely if ever take the lead and direct the troops into battle. This has been a glaring weakness of Bert's and hopefully he can find a place to play with a group of guys that can get him out of his shell and bring out the sleeping "Captain" that we know is hidden down deep inside of him.
 
 

Bert Meyers

Position: Left Wing
Height: 6'1"
Weight: 175lbs
Shoots: Right
Hometown: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
 
STRENGTHS
 
Passing - Bert Meyers is a pass-first shoot-second left winger from the time he's been able to skate. This is that one skill that sets him a notch above the rest and catches peoples attention. He has eagle-like vision on the ice that allows him to feed his teammates night after night. He has the ability to predict players movements before they happen that allows him to get the puck through even the narrowest of windows and always put the puck on some lucky recipients tape. If his knack for passing and assists can translate to the next level, his teammates are in for a treat and a nice boost in their own goal scoring.
Defense - From the start of his career Bert has had coaches around him that have preached and stressed the importance of defense and being able to play both ends of the ice. If you can shutdown the other team you don't have to find the back of the net as often, which is good since Bert has never been much of a scoring threat. Bert's long reach from his abnormally long wingspan gives him the ability to poke check from deceiving distances to catch the opposition off guard and keep stress of his net-minder. Again Bert's ability to predict player's movement keeps him a skate ahead of the rest and allows him to get in the passing lanes.
Endurance - Having a mother who had success as a collegiate runner, Bert was a distance runner in high school. This history of distance running and his dedication on and off the ice has given him the lungs and legs to grind through even the longest shifts and enables him to help tremendously down the stretch when other players start to feel gassed. This is the main reason Bert is no stranger to come from behind victories and attributes to his amass of game-winning points.
 
WEAKNESSES
Physicality - This has never been a strong suit of Bert and given his somewhat monkey-like frame he lacks the physical aspect of play that most players bring to the rink. He certainly isn't moving players out there on the ice and has been seen from time to time scooping himself off the ice or peeling himself off the glass. Hopefully with some time in the weight room and some focus he can narrow the gap.
Speed - Even though Bert never seems to run out of steam he isn't leaving anyone in hisdust. His long distance running background brings little in terms of acceleration and top speed. Though he may not have the edge on players in the beginning of the game, his speed doesn't seem to fall off as fatigue sets in and his endurance allows him to match opponents speed late in the 3rd or OT when it matters most. Hopefully when Bert finds the weight room and begins to increase his strength that translates to a little more speed on the ice to help him create space and open up more passing lanes.
Communication - Bert isn't your speech giving locker room presence. He is very much a lead-by-example kind of guy. He is the type to encourage and rally the troops individually through small conversations but will rarely if ever take the lead and direct the troops into battle. This has been a glaring weakness of Bert's and hopefully he can find a place to play with a group of guys that can get him out of his shell and bring out the sleeping "Captain" that we know is hidden down deep inside of him.