Ninetyfourgoalie

I don't think I will be writing any media spots here tbh lol

Player Information Username: Ninetyfourgoalie Player Name: Baka Lakalakabangalangjangganghang Recruited From: SisterLeague Age: 50 Position: C Height: 65 in. Weight: 250 lbs. Birthplace: Heard Island and McDonald Islands Player Page @VHLM GM

Player Information Username: Ninetyfourgoalie Player Name: Didi Kona Recruited By: SBA Age: 20 Position: C Height: 80 in. Weight: 250 lbs. Birthplace: Djibouti Player Page

3

While the Oslo Storm are putting together a fairly solid season so far, their success is largely thanks to just a few players on the team. They have the second best record in the European Conference and third best in the entire VHLM thanks to one of the highest scoring offenses in the league. But can they beat the rival Bern Royals, who boast significantly more depth? Right now, defenseman Supa Hot Fire has played just under thirty minutes per game and currently is ranked sixth in total minutes player. And forward Dope Fiend, who has played over twenty-seven minutes per game, is not far behind. With only a handful of actives, does the team really have enough to compete for a cup this season? Or are the Storm destined to falter when they go up against a team with more depth in a seven game series? Right now, it is difficult to say. But it's not a mystery that the Storm are in desperate need of depth.

84 Brampton Blades vs Moscow Red Wolves 85 Oslo Storm vs Ottawa Lynx 86 Bratislava Watchmen vs Bern Royals

Yukon 4-1

Titans 4-2

@TheNextGreatOne fix the fucking description lol. I thought last week was just an oversight 97 Express vs Vikings 98 Bears vs Americans 99 HC Dynamo vs Wranglers 100 Meute vs Reign

riggeed

I think we're better than Yukon

Dope Fiend starting off his career right.

3-1 Reign

Bern Moscow Ottawa

4-1 Yukon2gud

Express Dynamo Wranglers Americans

DINGGGG DONGGGGG. Dope Fiend looked around his two-room apartment for the final time, hardly believing that this was it. For a man of sixty three years, he was not well-traveled, rarely leaving his Baltimore - D.C. bubble. As he picked up his bags and headed towards the door, he briefly reflected upon his life and just how little he'd accomplished outside of shooting up in virtually every alleyway in the area. At this point, most of his old friends were long dead, locked up, or doped up. While he was leaving behind his entire old life, he realized, in actuality, how little he would be losing. Dope Fiend slowly extended his velvety brown hand to the door and opened it. His agent was waiting for him. "Hey old man! You ready to go?" Dope Fiend looked back into the small apartment he had lived in since getting out of prison just over ten years ago. They may not have been the most exciting ten years of his life but, for once, he had finally straightened himself out. "I'm ready," he replied as he shut the door behind him, "I'm not sure how this is going to work but I know it will." The two trodded down the staircrase, creaking with each step, as if they were reminding Dope Fiend of the finality this decision. They made it downstairs and walked toward the taxi. Ninetyfourgoalie entered first as Dope Fiend followed. As he began to climb into the back seat, the old driver turned around and locked eyes with Dope Fiend, who noticed a scar along the man's right cheek. He was not even halfway into the car when he stopped and, in a split second, was sprinting back to his apartment building. He heard a gunshot as he frantically pulled out his keys, fumbling for the long, silver one that opened the lock. Dope Fiend quickly unlocked the door and snuck back inside as he heard three more gunshots and the screeching of tires outside. He caught his breath for a moment, leaned against the mailboxes, and slid down to the floor, his hands covering his face. Dope Fiend wondered if he would ever escape this prison he'd once called his home. Just then, there was violent banging on the door. Dope Fiend stood up and, with extreme care, pulled back the curtain just enough to see Ninetyfourgoalie's pale, white hand and quickly opened the door to let him in. "What the FUCK? What was that?" "That... that is why I went to prison. Did you see his scar? He got that from me about thirty years ago." Dope Fiend took a deep breath. "I'm never going to get out of here, am I? We're never going to make it to Oslo." "Don't worry, old man. I gave you my word. I'm not giving up on you now."

Would have been really cool to come back for a final season but a cup was the top priority. Just hope it works out!

Just days after declaring eligibility for the Season 47 VHLM Dispersal Draft, Dope Fiend has a new home as he looks to prepare to take on VHL talent. With the twelfth overall selection, the Oslo Storm selected the elderly left winger with their first selection in a deep draft. One VHL scout was quoted as saying "This is a great pick for Oslo at this point in the draft. By an advanced metric we use here, known as TPE, for which the acronym cannot be divulged, Dope Fiend may very well be the best player on the Storm right now." Some high praise for the 63 year old Baltimore native. After the draft, VHL.com caught up with Dave the Dope Fiend for an interview and he had this to say about his new team. "Oslo? What the fuck is an Oslo? Is that some hipster sushi bullshit? I don't know much about this team. I heard I have to fly all the way to Europe which is a bit fucked. I don't even know how I got talked into joining this league. I guess I have to see how it plays out. Apparently I'm pretty alright at this hockey thing so as long as I'm on the first line, I'm happy."

Dope Fiend, a 63 year old heroin addict from Baltimore, Maryland, has officially announced his eleigibility for the VHL's Season 48 Entry Draft. Known to many by the name of Dave, Dope Fiend's claim to fame was providing a young boy with a shotgun in exchange for enough money to cover the rest of the week's worth of heroin. However, Dope Fiend entered rehab last year and claims to be clean; however, the amount of drugs he has taken over the years has certainly taken a toll on his mental well-being. His agent, Ninetyfourgoalie, was reportedly scouring the country for a new player to represent after all reports indicate that Season 47 will be Jerrick Poole's last, and came across Dope Fiend who was working as a zamboni driver at a hockey rink in the suburbs of Baltimore. "I liked his grit and the attitude he constantly gave to those rich, preppy little hockey players. Although I was simply trying to watch the Squirt game going on, looking for the next Conner Low, Dope Fiend really caught my eye. We had a nice chat and I thought he really had the potential to be the next big thing in the VHL. I immediately signed him and started him on his hockey training. He certainly isn't your stereotypical hockey prospect but I think he can surprise some people."

A Grand Finale While most of the deservedly hyped Season 47 free agent class continues to get a feel for where they will be signing as the league's general managers frantically make their pitches, Jerrick Poole and Mason Richardson have found their new home in the Riga Reign. Both players were originally drafted into the VHL as defensemen in Season 40 in what was shaping up to be one of the most talented draft classes the league has ever witnessed. Richardson was selected with the second overall pick by the Cologne Express, where he won the Continental Cup in Season 42, while Poole was taken fourth by the Toronto Legion. Early on in their careers, both players appeared to be headed for stardom. However, after a few seasons, their career trajectories took markedly different turns. Richardson continued to develop into one of the better players the league has ever seen although has not been able to capture his second Continental Cup despite making the playoffs in each of his seven seasons to date. Incredibly, Richardson has yet to win any individual accolades despite his outstanding play. But, this opportunity with Riga may just provide him with this opportunity as nearly every aspect of the team's game will be run through him - both offense and defense. He is truly the most talented player on the roster here and will be looking to cap off a great career with an outstanding team and individual performance. Poole, on the other hand, has experienced disappointment in both Toronto and Stockholm and has failed to even make a Continental Cup Finals, coming closest in Season 44 where his Vikings fell to the Express in Game 7 of the European Conference Finals. It was after this season that Poole really started to stagnate in terms of his development and it began to look like the former phenom would never be able to achieve superstardom. Richardson has spent the bulk of his career with the Dynamo but was unable to secure a second cup win, which he will be seeking out here in Season 47 As both players enter their final season, they will be looking to taste victory before heading off into retirement. Richardson will look to anchor the Reign defense and power their offensive attack as the franchise looks to capitalize on the immense amount of roster turnover both throughout the league and especially in the European Conference. Poole, however, will likely remain at forward and will be a leader among the forward group with former second overall pick Bronson Faux, one that will be marked by a rare combination of physicality and skill. Of course, Hans Wingate, arguably the best goaltender in the league, will be the team's backstop as this team is all but assured to be the most difficult group to score on. The question here, however, will be whether the Reign can put the puck in the net enough to overcome a relatively mediocre offensive attack. If they can click offensively, this team will be an absolute force and very well could send Richardson and Poole out as champions.

Accept! When it come down to it, Riga has the best shot. Let's do this!

Active until June.