DoktorFunk

Hey there @DangerGolding, I'm DoktorFunk and I'm the GM of the Ottawa Lynx. Hoop was my protege when he went through the VHLM. If you're interested, I'd love to have you join our team so I can teach you, as well! We have one of the best locker rooms in the league and are making a push for the cup this season! Let me know if you're interested by quoting this post and saying "accept!" Either way, I'd love to help with any questions you have! Warmest regards, DoktorFunk

You're gonna break out soon. The first points are hard, but proud to have you as a member of the OTTAWAN EMPIRE!!!!

I, too, am confused by this.

Theme Week:

Spotify Link:https://anchor.fm/doktor-funk/episodes/Dok-and-Spyros-League-News-Episode-13-Another-One--Theme-Week-Time-ekt958 We back! Changes inbound! This one is a little rough around the edges, but it sure does feel good to be back in the saddle again! This one's a theme week episode. No standings, no frills, all laughs and fuck-ups! Have a good time! Thanks @DarkSpyro and @Esso2264 for being on, and thank you for bearing with us. If you'd like to be a guest on this program, or have any suggestions, feel free to let us know!

I am very personally offended

Hey Anthony, As we discussed via dm, I'd love for you to join the Lynx! Quote this and say accept and we'll get you on the team!

1. Our defense has still been absolutely ridiculous. I’m hoping big things from them! 2. I feel like @Kisslinger will have the best career. Dude is a beast. 3. I honestly think we’ll be a first-round exit, although I hope we steal some games. 4. I’d honestly probably sell. I kind of doubt our chances to go all the way, and I’d rather have our stars go to contenders. 5. A Slim Jim, a Snickers, and a Mountain Dew. 6. I do repeated backflips until all the kinks are worked out of my back.

@Cedric Charruau! Hey there! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time for you to join. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star player like you in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance If you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and success together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” I'll then send over your contract to sign! Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! Ready when you are! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx

@RocketHockey! Hey there! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time for you to join. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star player like you in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance If you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and success together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” I'll then send over your contract to sign! Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! Ready when you are! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx

@Max Kagan! Hey there! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time for you to join. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star player like you in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance If you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and success together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” I'll then send over your contract to sign! Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! Ready when you are! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx

Hey there! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time for you to join. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star player like you in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance If you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and success together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” I'll then send over your contract to sign! Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! Ready when you are! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx

Hey there! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time for you to join. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star player like you in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance If you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and success together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” I'll then send over your contract to sign! Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! Ready when you are! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx

Hey there! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time for you to join. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star player like you in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance If you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and success together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” I'll then send over your contract to sign! Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! Ready when you are! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx

Hey there! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time for you to join. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star player like you in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance If you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and success together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” I'll then send over your contract to sign! Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! Ready when you are! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx

Hey there! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time for you to join. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star player like you in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance If you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and success together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” I'll then send over your contract to sign! Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! Ready when you are! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx

Hey there! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time for you to join. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star player like you in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance If you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and success together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” I'll then send over your contract to sign! Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! Ready when you are! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx

Hey there! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time for you to join. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star player like you in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance If you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and success together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” I'll then send over your contract to sign! Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! Ready when you are! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx

Hey there! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time for you to join. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star player like you in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance If you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and success together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” I'll then send over your contract to sign! Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! Ready when you are! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx

Jolly Greene Giant has recently not been so jolly. The Giant has been seen frequently kicking over sand castles and throwing sand on people's ice cream on a recent trip to the beach. Local residents were mad with him, and formed a posse to bring him in. They gathered their torches and pitchforks and hunted him down. The Giant gasped and uttered a scared "Ho Ho!" He then turned to run, escaping into the night. The Giant may be mad because of the recent performance of the Ottawa Lynx. We reached out to the Giant for comment. "Ho ho," he said. The Giant isn't wrong. Most of the Lynx's problems have stemmed from their lack of talented forwards. The defense is fantastic, however, as is the goaltending. A $10,000 bounty has been placed on the Jolly Greene Giant in the city of San Diego. If you have any information as to his whereabouts, please send a tip to giantbustersposse@gmail.com

Hey there @Lane! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time for you to join. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star player like you in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance If you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and success together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” I'll then send over your contract to sign! Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! Ready when you are! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx

Hey there, @Le Clems! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time for you to join. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star player like you in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance If you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and success together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” I'll then send over your contract to sign! Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! Ready when you are! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx

I need to make a pledge to do this again

Who the fuck is Scott Greene?

Hey there @eddie43! My name is DoktorFunk and I am the General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx! Welcome to the league! We need star players to make a name for themselves in Ottawa, and there is no better time for you to join. If you’re looking to prove yourself and really put in the work for a chance at glory, this is the team for you! In return, we can promise you a locker room experience and training tips that are second to none! We have some of the brightest and most talented people in the Victory Hockey League available to you whenever you want. We could use a star player like you in Ottawa! If you sign with us and let us help you develop, we have an even better chance If you’re willing to put in a little time, I promise we can have an amazing amount of fun and success together! If you’re interested, please quote this post and say “accept!” I'll then send over your contract to sign! Whether you decide to sign with us or not, I hope you have the very best of luck in your career, and I look forward to speaking with you very soon! Ready when you are! DoktorFunk General Manager of the Ottawa Lynx