probably not noah

I disagree with this result.

Ask her for dick picks. Real chicks always send pictures of their dicks.

If we win I'm going to fly to Sweden and officially petition the city of Stockholm to change their name to #Shockholm

How have we had 47 seasons of the VHL and still not seen Jarby's dick yet?

Fuck all a y'all.

<3 dont worry my next player will play wherever you are greg. If that's Seattle. #SeattleSix2.0

The grand debut of 'FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY' was pretty fantastic as well

The best thread ever was deleted because it was Rogue Squadron bombing an update thread tbh.

He had all the promise in the world. Drafted third overall by the Davos Dynamo in the Season 41 Entry Draft, Shock was supposed to be the centerpiece of the next great dynasty, and for awhile it looked like he could have been. After a solid rookie season, Shock managed to have several seasons in a row putting up point-per-game numbers consistently. But whether it was the wrong environment, bad luck or just a lack of work ethic, Shock never truly broke out in Davos, and so he was shipped off to Germany, where he suited up for the Cologne Express. That’s where it all changed. Shock broke out with the Express, scoring 43 goals and 110 points to lead the team, and finish fourth in league scoring. On the surface, all was good for Shock, but behind the scenes was another story. While Shock was lighting it up in Cologne, his life behind the scenes was a different beast entirely. Shock was seldom seen around practice facilities in this period, and the usually outspoken player made few media appearances. As Shock shied away from the spotlight, more question marks surrounded his personal life. Those questions will now be answered. In an exclusive interview, Shock revealed to us exactly what was behind his strange time in Cologne. “I was flying high,” admitted Shock. “There was a lot of pressure to succeed, and finally I had and it went to my head. I thought I was king of the world.” Shock told us that it was during this high that he developed a cocaine habit. “I was ankle deep in the stuff,” he said. “And I just kept scoring. So I just kept getting high.” While he still won’t reveal some of the details, it was clear that his teammates and coaches knew what was going on. Just 10 games into his second season in Cologne, and in the midst of one of the hottest starts of his career, Shock was sent to the New York Americans. That’s when he started to spiral. Shock's career hit rock bottom in New York. “New York City was probably the worst place I could have been at that time,” said Shock. “No disrespect to the organization. I had a great time playing for the Americans, but New York as a city was bad for me.” Shock got into amphetamines on top of his coke habit, and found himself spiraling, and his play started to take a hit. When the Americans lost out of the playoffs in the first round, Shock found himself out of shape and in debt in the off-season. After having his house repossessed and getting arrested for driving under the influence, Shock checked himself into rehab. Headed into the season, Shock was determined to get his career on track, and just five games in was sent back to Cologne, where he had been the most productive in his career. In Cologne, Shock found new life, once again scoring at a point per game, and though he relapsed briefly, he managed to catch himself. Midway through the season, Shock was sent to the Stockholm Vikings, a move that he says has motivated him like nothing else. Playing for Stockholm has given Shock a new lease on life. “Coming to Stockholm has been incredible. We’ve got a great group of guys here, and it really feels like something special.” Shock scored 12 goals and 31 points in 34 games with the Vikings to close out the regular season, but his time to shine has really been the playoffs. Through the team’s 9 games, he has put up 12 points, and put them up in big situations. Shock now finds himself the grizzled veteran on a squadron making an unlikely push to the Continental Cup finals. After a two-goal performance by Shock last night, the team is one win away from making the finals, and Shock is one step away from closing the book on his redemption story.

M-V-P M-V-P M-V-P

M-V-P M-V-P M-V-P

Claimity Claim for Cinqo.

Yeah, it got a lot better. When I said that it was the Atlantic v. Metro game, which was super boring, but the other two games were great and everything around Scott was amazing.

Our ASG had better be more entertaining than this snoozefest of an NHL ASG amirite?

This dude is claiming 5 TPE yo.

Player Name: Gifford Shock VHL Team: Stockholm Vikings Cash you have: $20,250,000 Purchase Name: Pension II Upgrade Cost of Purchase: $3,000,000 Cash Left: $17,250,000

Damn. I thought I had this one locked up for sure.

Yo hire me I'm semi-active and can guarantee unreliability but I'm a damn good writer.

Why must you hurt me like this? All I ever did was love you. IS THAT A CRIME?

Red team is best team. Is only team.

That's Noah!! thank you very much.

Wouldn't be the VHL if chat wasn't broken.

What the flying shitstorm? God damn millenials. Back in my day we used CS3, and we had to earn our 6s. Kids these days have it too easy.