bigAL

Are there benefits that come with being AGM? Does each team only have one AGM? I'm too new to apply but genuinely curious about the role!

Groovy Dood, the 25-year-old left winger out of the backwoods of northern Ontario, has declared for the S73 VHL draft.

 

 

Dood grew up in a hippy commune somewhere far enough north that he became an expert in rocks and trees, but far enough south that his family had a viable farm. Groovy spent his winters playing shinny on the frozen pond behind the hemp field, and spent his summer mastering his hand-eye coordination as a competitive hackey-sacker. From an early age, Groovy was identified as being a special athlete. Groovy was hacking sack before he was out of his diapers. By age four, he could keep a streak going higher than he could count. It was during his first year at lil’ hippy school that Groovy discovered competition, and the pure joy that comes from beating others at sports. Soon, he was training to be the best, and challenging anyone he could find. He was out-sacking 12 year old boys when he was in third grade. He was six when he first hackey sacked his dad, and six plus one day when Groovy finally defeated him. By the time Groovy Dood was ten years old, he had travelled to every hippy commune on the planet and defeated their reigning champions. Without anyone left to beat, Groovy hung up the ‘sack for good. He decided to pour his time, energy, and natural athletic abilities into his other passion: hockey.

 

Through his teenage years, Dood spent every waking winter second outside on the pond. He was happiest when he was playing with the other hippy boys, hippy-dipsy-doodling around everyone, dodging swinging dreads, leaping over the red line made of doritos, enjoying the hockey hippy lifestyle.

 

In the early 2010s, Groovy’s hippy commune got raided by the RCMP. Apparently, not all of the plants being grown in Dood’s ranch were “legal”. Every hippy over the age of 18 got shown the backseat of a cruiser, and all the hippies-in-training would be sent to a different hippy commune. Except Groovy.

 

It turns out that the RCMP had been watching this particular hippy commune for quite some time. The drones watched through the growing season into the harvest time, searching out drugs, but they stayed hovering above the encampment all throughout the winter. One of the officers had noticed Groovy grooving around his outdoor rink. This officer, luckily enough for Groovy Dood, was also a part-time scout for the local senior men’s team.

 

Groovy Dood was wearing his first real set of equipment six weeks later, skating on the first line of the Hicksville Darts of the Northern Ontario Bush Whackin League (NOBWL). His free-wheeling, no-darns-given attitude complemented the Darts perfectly. They were all goons who wanted to foil their knuckles and collect opponent’s teeth, and Groovy became the goal-scorer that allowed the goons to play face-punch, rock-em-sock-em playoff hockey.

 

Groovy put up absolutely ridiculous video-game numbers that season with the Darts. He averaged 37 minutes of ice time, because by the third period he was often the only left winger remaining on the bench. He scored completely at will, and ended up with 164 goals in 32 games. Groovy only got one assist that year, when a shot of his missed the net and deflected in off Goondawg’s helmet.

 

He was playing men’s hockey in the bushes of the Canadian Shield, competing against meaty lumberjacks and wild whiskey drinkers, but Groovy Dood didn’t know anything different. He probably could have been drafted to the OHL that season, if he knew the OHL existed. But he didn’t, so he spent the off-season. Ever a student of the game, Groovy saw his Cy Young-esque stat-line and began to work on his passing. With the Darts being the Darts, his passing ended up being more like shooting at his teammates sticks, but his assist totals went up the next season.

 

Groovy Dood spent the next decade of his life repeating this cycle. Tearing up the bushwhacking league with the Darts all winter, training on one specific aspect of his game all summer. Hackey sack before and after games to warm up and cool down. It was all he knew, and all he did. Groovy Dood became a goal scoring, hackey-sacking machine.

 

Season	Team	League	GP	G	A	Pts	PIM	+/-
2012-13	Darts	NOBWL	32	164	1	165	6	1
2013-14	Darts	NOBWL	32	1	164	165	12	-1
2014-15	Darts	NOBWL	32	32	32	64	24	5
2015-16	Darts	NOBWL	32	50	49	99	46	10
2016-17	Darts	NOBWL	32	0	1	1	1268	1
2017-18	Darts	NOBWL	32	121	24	145	58	36
2018-19	Darts	NOBWL	32	74	26	100	79	44

 

 

 

 

 

 

On 5/7/2020 at 12:03 PM, Doomsday said:

Continuing with the wild nature of the series, Alexander Chershenko needed to be brought back out into the Helsinki Titans' celebration to be awarded the Daisuke Kanou Trophy as Playoff MVP.

 

Finally, Helsinki could be held back no longer, and the Titans enjoyed the celebration that is the goal of every VHL team leading up to each season: taking a skate with the Continental Cup, made even sweeter happening on their home ice.

 

Awkwaaaaaaaaaaaard. My heart breaks for the OGWAC Chershensko, poor guy never got the Cup he deserved.

More like the Halifax 25th... 21 + 4. Playoffs were fun though.

9 hours ago, Quik said:

Hello VHL @Members,

 

Today is an auspicious occasion, my birthday! As your benevolent leader, I am allowing all members to claim 1 Uncapped TPE, and all you've got to do is post something nice about me! Or don't, I'm not your mother. Point is, I'm giving everyone 1 free TPE, to be claimed by the end of this week.

 

Enjoy!

 

Just for @DMaximus: To claim, claim as Uncapped > Other > Other, with the description "Quik is a benevolent god!"

Haaaaappy birthday to you!

Haaaaappy birthday to you!

Happy birthday dear Quiiiiik!

Happy birthday to you!

and many moooooooooore!

1. Halifax is going to win the draft lottery. I'm the Taylor Hall of the VHLM.

 

2. Off-season means I can switch from exclusively vaping weed to smoking the occasional joint. Smoke sits heavy in my chest and isn't good for the cardio, so it's not an in-season thing.

 

3. This off-season, I want to work on my faceoffs. Coach has been putting me in the C spot since I made the team, even though I'm a LW, so I better be prepared to be versatile up, down, left, and right of the lineup.

 

4. In my mind, we did win the playoff series with Ottawa. Everyone knows that a sweep only counts if you win by the exact same score in all four games, and since we got that third goal in Game 2, we effectively nullified the sweep. And taking away the super sweep from the top team in the league is basically a win for a ragtag bunch like the 21st.

 

5. Why not both? My large salary is tied to my huge skillset, and therefore a team with my contract on it has cup potential. I can get paid, and bank shots in off the asses of random Bobs, Gords, and Dougs all the way to the finals.

 

6. I don't know either of the commissioners, but when I win the trophy, I promise not to Sheldon Keefe you okay?

On 2/25/2018 at 8:41 PM, Týr said:

The Autograph editions that were just posted look like dogshit. And even worse, they've cut out VHLM.

 

So, I've decided to start my own magazine, with blackjack and hookers. As promised.

 

PM me if you'd like to bring attention to an article you've posted, or if you'd like to discuss being a regular contributor. I'm off to start working on a format.

Are the blackjack, hookers, and VHLM writing gig still available?

Seattle wins 2-0

17 Calgary Wranglers @ Vancouver Wolves

18 D.C. Dragons @ Seattle Bears

19 Malmo Nighthawks @ Moscow Menace

20 Riga Reign @ Prague Phantoms

 

Home teams ftw.

21 hours ago, DrHexDex said:

1. Looking back, what was your favorite moment from the season (even if you're a new player)?
I didn't have a favorite  moment this year. I dropped the ball this season and will work three times as hard next season to pick it up

2. How do you think the Halifax 21st will fare next year due to a good chance of getting a high draft pick?
As long as I don't slack, and the new kids we pick up work extra hard I'd say we got a shot

3. Do you have any advice for upcoming draftees or free agent signings for next year?
Don't fall behind like I did

4. Who do you think is going to win the VHL and VHLM playoffs this year?
Not a clue, but good luck to those that win. It's always hard to say who for sure will win because ANYTHING can happen in hockey

5. What are your hopes for next year? Playoff team? Any personal stat goals?
I want to go to the playoffs, Save % over .850 and a GAA below 3

6. Who is the best AGM in all of the VHLM, and why is it @twists?
He's a very patient AGM, and has worked with me through my inactive time

Looks like you had a rough season Hex. 

Don't be so hard on yourself goalie, we're all juggling the stresses of being a rockstar professional (simulation) hockey player, while living offline lives, while being in the middle of one of the most traumatic times of our generation. I know I've been struggling to keep all my balls in the air, and joining the VHL adds some extra responsibility and stress to my plate - sounds like I'm not alone. Take a big deep breath, and search out those TPE tasks that make you smile and giggle. It's never great when hobbies start to feel like work, so make sure to still have some fun here!

7 hours ago, twists said:

Halifax 21st Press Conference (April 27 - May 3)

 

Answer all six questions for two capped TPE!

 

1. Looking back, what was your favorite moment from the season (even if you're a new player)?

2. How do you think the Halifax 21st will fare next year due to a good chance of getting a high draft pick?

3. Do you have any advice for upcoming draftees or free agent signings for next year?

4. Who do you think is going to win the VHL and VHLM playoffs this year?

5. What are your hopes for next year? Playoff team? Any personal stat goals?

6. Who is the best AGM in all of the VHLM, and why is it @twists?

1. Gotta say, I was pretty ecstatic when I signed my contract with Halifax ($1.5M whaaaaaaaaat?!)

2. I've got full faith in our front office, from ol @Dil to our very own Ass.Man. @twists, to do the best scouting, drafting, and development, regardless of draft position.
3. Here's some advice: give our rookies and new free agent signing some advice! 

4. I'm sure the 21st would've won the playoffs if we made it. But since we didn't, I just kind of assume that the playoffs are cancelled and there will be no champ this year?

5. There's one game left in the season, so there's a chance I might meet this goal before next year, but I hope to dress for a VHL game!

6. It's @twists because he gave me that aforementioned $1.5M. If there's a better AGM in the VHLM, that's the number they've got to beat.

Just now, bigAL said:

accept

 

Just now, bigAL said:

accept

 

15 hours ago, twists said:

@bigAL

My agent had me hold out overnight to see if more offers came, but I knew I was always going to sign in Halifax.

 

Mr Brandt was the first team exec to reach out both on the forums and discord. I was curious, and watched the Halifax game last night from the nosebleeds. The friggin' guy goes out there, knowing I'm in the stands scouting his team, and puts up a line like 3-1--4. I ended up buying a 21st hat before the game - so the other scouts wouldn't notice me - and then Brandt scores three tricks and takes my hat away! There's a good rule of thumb when in free agency: try to get on the team with the best player in the league. Joining the Halifax 21st checks that box. I mean, probably. I haven't checked the standings or stats or anything, I'm just going to eye test the shit out of this organization.

 

As for the player you're gonna get, well, I'm not so sure about that. I signed up as a LW because I switched to LW this season irl, but after seeing last night's high-flying match, I would love to Brent Burns it and switch to the blue line.

 

Because... seriously?! I'll convince you management and coaching staff to let me change positions by breaking goaler stats from last night.

 

Grekkark Gyrfalcon (HFX) ok cool, goalies are always fascinating characters and Grekkark sounds like a very goalie-goalie

 

55 saves holy crap that's a lot of saves, our goalie must be sick

 

from 59 shots (0.932), W, holy crap that's a lot a shots against, our D must be bad

 

1-7-2 hooooooooly crap our D must be bad. Looks like, we're giving up 60 shots a night, every night... and the one night I show up, Brandt scores a hatty, Grekky stands on his head, that Rose/Pou/Robertson line shows UP and the 21st get the win!

 

Mr Wallace, Mr Brandt, I'm happy to accept your offer to join the Halifax 21st, but please, I'm begging you, let me play defence. I will out smart, out wit, out play MOS D1, D2, AND D3, you just gotta give me a chance! (ed: really hoping MOS D1-3 means they're npcs, if it actually is a case of triplets or something then I apologize for chiping you so directly and so unnecessarily) 

 

Stay groovy doods,

 

Groovy  

14 hours ago, twists said:

@bigAL

accept

9 minutes ago, Beaviss said:

 

We have been playing with some settings recently so here you go https://discord.gg/hxpg6gk

Still....

Just now, Beaviss said:

 

Well welcome to the league! Sounds like you will fit in well here. You should check out our discord channel if you want to get some attention from the VHLM GM's

I tried, but the link at the top of the site has expired.

Forums will take some getting used to. It was two decades ago last time I was active on a forum. I'm excited to poke around and get a feel for the place. Thanks for the help ya big ol butthead!

Whaddup GMs! You're not going to want to miss out on this hot prospect.

 

Groovy dood is a bored guy who sits at a computer all day "working from home". I'm a wordmaker by day, co-ed rec leaguer on Saturday nights. My total points might be low, but hot damn are my cellies sick. I like to skate fast so my flow flaps Jagr-esque behind me, floating in the wind like a cape. 

 

I'm not too sure what this VHL adventure will lead to. I was the Friedge of my fantasy hockey league last year, interviewing GMs, breaking trades, and previewing playoff series, so I'm excited to join the VHL community!

Player Information

Username: bigAL

Player Name: Groovy Dood

Recruited From: Reddit

Age: 25

Position: LW

Height: 73 in.

Weight: 190 lbs.

Birthplace: Canada

Player Page

@VHLM GM