bigAL

3. New York Americans , Big Chungus 3 (Aston Martin 29, Markus Schauer 13) at 18:024. D.C. Dragons , Liam Flaten 8 (Guy Lesieur 26, Ricky Johnson 48) at 18:13 Love to see those quick bounce-back goals

Follow the Fantasy forum my friends - never miss a week!

Man it’s good to see Boris heating up. And check out that Wolski record!!

And our VHLM GMs do do an excellent job of onboarding their new recruits, but formalizing it and standardizing it across the league would be huge. heh, do do ?

A game when both goalies put their pads on backwards is great for the players to boost their numbers eh?

Matty Socks killin' it from the blue line!

It's great to see Boris getting his mojo back even if it wasn't enough tonight

Does a hat-trick with multiple goals on the PP even really count...?

Holy shit, Prague on a sneaky W6 streak makes me feel better about taking this L.

Jeeeeeez that's a scary bump /heartattack

Also I love all the ideas coming from the peanut gallery. We should have auditions for commissioners regularly - it seems like a good incentive for people to acknowledge real problems in the league and propose real policy solutions.

I'm surprised @Beaviss hasn't demanded this yet, it seems like a significant portion of his time and energy is doing exactly this on the forum and discord

Holy shit the redraft every year is great. Actives really only spend one season in the minors anyways, and the draft is a great time to dump inactives. Make players "register" themselves for the draft so only the active players sign up to be drafted. Everyone else that becomes active again or joins late gets picked up on waivers.

Holy hell Gus, every idea you pitch here is on point. If you're refusing to be commissioner, you should definitely be hired on as a senior policy advisor. I think the most true point here comes from commish hopeful DMax: Players who show up midseason or later often join, suck because of their low TPE, see their peers killing it with higher stats, and give up and leave. New players need more opportunities to earn, to learn what our site is all about, to practice writing articles, to incentivize following the league stats/standings. Having more activity for new members will make them more active - it's the root word of activity anyways. I love all the ideas about inactives. Get rid of them when they get rid of us. Don't have new members be teammates with someone who's ahead of them in the depth chart but does none of the work. Filter them out before they make it to the big leagues and drag a competitive team down with their stagnant TPE. Reward the people who want to be here. I think one big bonus unintended consequence of forcibly removing inactives is that the VHL will become a more pure, competitive, and exciting league. The VHLM will filter out all inactives so the big leagues end up being entirely (mostly) active players. Inactive members are not part of our community - they are people who made a conscious effort that this place wasn't for them and left. Let's a) honour their wishes and cut them loose, and b) actively reward the new members who do stay. Yes, winning is attractive to new and old members. But competing, having a reason to check the scores around the league, fighting for a playoff spot before clinching/eliminated two weeks into the season is more attractive. TLDR: My vote for commish goes to whoever will be Gus' puppet

Did expansion dilute the talent pool in the VHL?!

Tim Tam Slamma

Plus the Shawn Glade redemption arc is a great storyline in the M

bigAL ain’t an AGM no more, gotta give those spots to the people who really earned it

Serious though, I don’t know many of the VHL AGMs. Maybe I’ve just talked my way into a spot on the pod!

Claiming for theme week, I'll come back and claim the real post next week as PT

All-AGM Dream Team We all know the common refrain: AGMs hAvE nO rIgHtS Ugh. UGH. What a slap in the face to the hard work the AGMs do assisting the general manager. If we’re being real here, what does a GM even do? Collect the paycheque and delegate, I say. But I digress. Today, the Assistant General Managers of the league are going to get their due with this All-AGM dream team. AGMs are the backbone of the spine of the VHL. They assist when no one else will; they support the managers, captains, and players emotionally, socially, and spiritually. Without AGMs, GMs would be nothing. AGMs are better than GMs - they are GMs who could afford to buy an extra vowel. Methodology Of course, AGMs aren’t actually players. Instead, I’ll choose their VHL surrogates. The historical records for AGMs are literally non-existent, so I could only look at current AGMs. That’s okay, because the current crop of AGMs are all literal and figurative beauties, but really prevented this from being an “all-time dream team”. Instead, it’s just my dream team, which is fine - I wouldn’t dream of playing with AGMs from lore that I never met. Tenure matters. Most of the people chosen here are excellent AGMs and probably will be for as long as they want. I don’t see any of these people as resentful of their lack of rights, or chomping at the bit to “get out of here and get promoted”. Being an AGM takes humility, an understanding of your position on the totem pole, and the unwavering ability to be the butt of jokes. People who can do that for multiple seasons are noteworthy. I’ve chosen a collection of good people, great players, and superb managers. Every AGM could have made the cut, but there’s only a limited number of spots on the team. If I didn’t pick you for the dream team, well, maybe you’ll make the nightmare team. Let’s get started! F - Onde Sandstrom AGM: @fonziGG () Onde Sandstrom is fine. He’s aight. There’s not a whole lot to say about a VHL rookie. After a season and a half in the minors with Las Vegas, Sandstrom put up a NICE 69 points in 94 games. That was enough to catch the eye of the Vancouver Wolves who drafted him sixth overall. The real reason Sandstrom makes the Dream Team is because The Fonz is a model AGM. The guy started from the bottom, Assisting General Managers in Halifax for time. He earned a promotion to the D.C. Dragons, probably right from expansion but who knows, there’s no damn record of AGMs. If I was Enorama starting out a brand new franchise, I’d want an AGM like Fonzi on board. Fonzi makes his hay by keeping activity in the locker room, making sure the team knows what’s going on in the rest of the league, and (usually) asking press conference questions. He’s my current AGM and unless he sexually harasses someone or gets caught embezzling funds, he’ll be the AGM for the Dragons for as long as he wants. F - Dakota Lamb AGM: @dlamb () Wait whaaaaa? dlamb the AGM? Yup that’s right - currently serving as the Drunk Bird’s emotional support sidekick, dLamb got a sweet gig with the New York Americans this season. He’s in his first managerial job in the VHL, but we all know he spends an ungodly amount of time playing Eastside Hockey Manager. He’s going to be in management with our league for a long, long time. But I guess this is supposed to be about the on-ice product. DLamb started his career off as an inaugural member of the Miami Marauders, and the kid showed up. All he does is score, score, score. Lamb is the franchise leader in goals, and the Miami goal-scoring trophy is named after him. For two years in a row, dLamb won the dLamb. That’s just legendary. F - Ray Sheilds AGM: @Zetterberg () First off, I have to say: I’m so mad about this typo every time I see it. The rule is i before e, RAY. Anyways, Z’s been a standup guy since I joined the league. When I showed up out of nowhere and swiped the Miami AGM job, it was pretty well known that that was going to be Z’s job. After bouncing from team to team for a while, the career AGM has settled into his rightful seat in Miami and has been just killing it. Zetterberg is a graphics wizard. He creates literal magic every time he opens up photoshop. That’s a great skillset for AGMs to have. Nothing makes you feel welcome to the league like getting a custom sig from one of the best in your first few weeks. I’ve noticed he isn’t posting press conference questions, but that’s fine - he’s a graphics guy, not a word maker. Word. On the ice, Sheilds has been an absolute beast. Drafted by Seattle, he played poo poo on purpose so he could get out of there as soon as possible. Once he got to Malmo, Sheilds remembered how to play hockey and tore it up. He’s in the middle of his second straight point per game season and still has many seasons ahead of him. Sheilds is just going to get better and better. Damnit Google, stop autocorrecting Sheilds to Shields - you should’ve autocorrected that seasons ago when Z was creating his player!1!! D - Tyler Walker AGM: @Advantage () Well wouldn’t this be a S73 Draft dream team? Tyler Walker was taken 2nd overall behind some groovy dude, even though Walker was the highest TPE player in the draft, with the highest ceiling, and the longest and most successful VHL resume. Walker in his own right is an amazing player, putting up offensive offensive numbers from the blueline, but ADV might be the real star here. Advantage is one of the coolest dudes on the site. He’s a tenured legend, who’s been popping in and out of the league for almost a literal decade. He’s a Governor of the league, and has recently put himself front and centre as the spokesperson for the formerly-shadowy Board of Governors. He led the charge on the Fitness support group on the forums and Discord, encouraging all of us keyboard warriors to do a warrior pose every once in a while. All in all, he’s made life around the league better for everyone he’s interacted with. Malmo’s real lucky to have this guy in their corner. D - Shawn Glade III AGM: @ShawnGlade I don’t know Shawn Glade at all, but jeez there’s slim pickings on the back end. What I do know of Glade is his reputation - and let’s just say it’s not Glade Fresh. Third time’s the charm for ol’ Shawn here. With III, he started off his career as a champion. The always-stacked Minnesota Storm signed the big Dman from waivers, but Missassauga sneakily swiped him in the dispersal draft. The G-Man got traded back to his old haunt and promptly helped the Storm win the Founders Cup. That was good enough for Vancouver to use a first round pick to grab Glade in the S73 VHL draft. On the managerial front, again, III time’s the charm. After a revolving door of assistants left Dil feeling sad and lonely, it was Shawn Glade who accepted the challenge of reviving the 12+13 locker room. Since joining the team, Halifax has gone an absurd 37-5 and has a 13 point cushion atop the VHLM standings. That success, of course, is completely and entirely because of Shawn Glade’s assistance. G - Raymond Bernard AGM: Mr_Hatter () How could it be anyone else rounding out this AGM Dream Team?! Bernard is the premiere goalie of the league, and Hatter is objectively the greatest AGM in the VHLM. Bernard the goalie is a living legend. He’s won individual trophies. He’s won fantasy leagues. He’s been a champion in both the VHLM and the VHL. Kids grow up wanting to play goalie because of Ray Ray. Men grow up and want to be rich, manly, and successful like St Bernard. There’s not much else to say - Raymond Bernard might be the best player-AGM ever.* * I have no proof of that because of the administrative discrimation against the profession of the AGM And what about the manager? Hatter is a league legend. He’s a staple of stability in Minnesota. AGMs come and AGMs go, but Hatter’s tenure with the Storm is a testament to his communication skills, his eagerness to support his team, and his slew of free time. Hatter might also have one of the toughest AGM jobs in the M. His boss is a cutthroat statistician that builds his team with a spreadsheet. The job of managing the people behind the numbers falls to the Hat Man himself, and he does a great job. I’ve seen it first hand when Groovy Dood spent his M season in Minnesota. Hatter keeps the small but mighty LR in high spirits, in the loop, and consistently in the playoffs. And that's the team! Are you happy with the results? Great! Are you rattled you got left off the list? Get bent! Are you a historical AGM upset you didn't make the dream team? Get angry at the blues for neglecting us as a real profession! Are you just a fan reading this for fun? Get a life! Are you thinking about applying to become an AGM? DO IT! Either way, feel free to leave a comment. I know I will. (3 comments, because I made it to 1500 words PLUS theme week, boo yah)

The "I'm just here for fun cause I'm already capped out this week" Edition 1. What is your favourite fastfood? I hate to be that guy but fast food really isn't my jam. It makes my guts so angry they try to escape my body through the top, bottom, or middle. I love the lil hipster joints for quick takeout - it seems to just be the corporate chains that hurt. I've got a place near me that does gourmet grilled cheese and it's unreal. Last week I got jerk chicken. This week might be a nice brie, chicken, and pear. Burritos are always a fav too, just nothing sloppy like a Taco Bell. 2. How do you think we will do this season? Hmm, do I say the truth or do I try to reverse-jinx us again...? 3. How do we change our fortunes and consistently win our games? 1 and 1! 1 and 1! 1 and 1! We can ride that right to the Continental Cup Final, cruising to Game 7s aaaaaall the way to the bank. 4. Do you watch E-Sports? Is that where they race those dinky little e-bikes? 5. What do you think this team is lacking? A sixth forward. 6. How are you, physically and mentally, coping with the pandemic? Eh, I moved to a corner of the world that the pandemic forgot so it's not so bad. I just got a job that's entirely remote, so I'm working in a school, not at a school. I close my door and keep the little petri dishes out.

Woof just a murderers row of up and coming GMs. Go get ‘em!

The sooner we get our 12 TPE per week the gooder we play for you all week boss