bigAL

Woooo we did it, good luck everyone!

Maf investigating maf early game is a classic strat. I’m still thinking Devise is evil. I’m not sold on the “both are good” claim that Ricer is banking his innocence on. He seems fishy and mafia-like.

Anyone important want to hop off in case of Jester?

My evil vibes claim was based on having too many investigators, but if we really do have three, then VOTE JEFF

Last pick goes to my man, Groovy Dood. Go @DMaximus 1. Spence F - Kris Rice F - RJ Jubis F - D - Condor Adrienne D -Vladimir Pavlov G - Jimmy Spyro 2. Esso F - Benny Graves F - Scott Greene F - Squirrely dan D - Jeff Downey D -Hugh Jass G - 3. DMax F - Brock Louth F - Thomas Landry II F - D - Hulk Hogan D - Roque Davis G - Jacques Lafontaine 4. bigAL F - Mikko Lahtinen F - Ola Vikingstad F - Groovy Dood D - Erik Killinger D - James Rose G - Rayz Funk 5. Zetterberg F - Ray Sheilds F - Lewis Dawson F - Patrik Tallinder D - Guy Sasakamoose D -Alex Bridges G - Gyrfalcon 6. Big Green F - Phil Marleau F - Chad Magnum F - Markus Nygren D - Lincoln Tate D - G-

I’m getting evil vibes from jhatty & devise

Or not... @Biggreen10 make your last two picks when you’re ready but @Zetterberg is back on the clock!

Press Conference - I need TPE edition! 1. Holy hell, we’ve thrown ourselves back into the playoff race. Be honest, did our slow start worry you in the first week? 2. Who is the team MVP through 12 games? 3. Who are you looking at to step up in the next 12 games? 4. DC is tied for second in the conference, but seventh place is 3 games behind us. How do we separate ourself from this logjam? 5. What’s your take on the rumour that Stone Wolski might be involved in a goaltending controversy? 6. If the VHL played the playoffs in a covid bubble, would you go?

Groovy Dood’s play has fans around the league taking notice. The GP column has hit double digits, and it’s time to put some stock into early trends. One such trend is Groovy Dood grooving his way up up up the scoring leaderboards. On his own team, The Dood is pacing the Dragons with 19 points in 12 games. His linemate Xavier LaFlammant is hot on his heels with 16 points. Offensive defenceman Ricky Johnson has benefited from playing behind the Super Second Line, and is tied with LaFlammant with 16 points. In the grand scheme of things, he’s tied for 12th in scoring across the league. Groovy Dood is one point ahead of the Miami management team, with Kris Rice and Ray Shields all sniffing his butt on the leaderboard. The season is still early, but Groovy Dood is drawing some serious attention for the Dustin Funk Trophy as Most Improved Player. Keep those glassy eyes peeled for more updates ?

Z messaged me and asked for Gyrfalcon. 1. Spence F - Kris Rice F - RJ Jubis F - D - Condor Adrienne D -Vladimir Pavlov G - Jimmy Spyro 2. Esso F - Benny Graves F - Scott Greene F - Squirrely dan D - Jeff Downey D -Hugh Jass G - 3. DMax F - Brock Louth F - Thomas Landry II F - D - Hulk Hogan D - Roque Davis G - Jacques Lafontaine 4. bigAL F - Mikko Lahtinen F - Ola Vikingstad F - D - Erik Killinger D - James Rose G - Rayz Funk 5. Zetterberg F - Ray Sheilds F - Lewis Dawson F - Patrik Tallinder D - D -Alex Bridges G - Gyrfalcon 6. Big Green F - Phil Marleau F - Chad Magnum F - Markus Nygren D - Lincoln Tate D - G- @Biggreen10take us to the final round!!

Jaaaailor?

Sorry @DMaximusbut we gotta keep going. I’ll take Rayz Funk. 1. Spence F - Kris Rice F - RJ Jubis F - D - Condor Adrienne D -Vladimir Pavlov G - Jimmy Spyro 2. Esso F - Benny Graves F - Scott Greene F - Squirrely dan D - Jeff Downey D -Hugh Jass G - 3. DMax F - Brock Louth F - Thomas Landry II F - D - Hulk Hogan D - Roque Davis G - 4. bigAL F - Mikko Lahtinen F - Ola Vikingstad F - D - Erik Killinger D - James Rose G - Rayz Funn 5. Zetterberg F - Ray Sheilds F - Lewis Dawson F - Patrik Tallinder D - D -Alex Bridges G - 6. Big Green F - Phil Marleau F - Chad Magnum F - Markus Nygren D - Lincoln Tate D - G- @Zetterberg

Let’s goooooooooo Dragons! We’re gonna be a force when we both enter our primes!

I love the AGM position. I always say AGMs *do* get paid - if they’re on top of things and ask the Press Conference questions every week, they get their 2 TPE job pay. As for the discord drama, there’s no cut and dry line of who’s problem it is and isn’t. The AGM - along with GM and captains - is part of the team leadership group. All the leaders of a team have a responsibility to manage and support the personalities of the team both publicly and privately. Any member can put out a fire in the LR, but players old and new look to management to be the primary problem solvers of the team.

I had never heard of sim leagues before VHL and I think it’s a goddamn miracle that we can replicate such a complicated game like hockey.

As I said in the edit, f’n formatting. I still haven’t found a good way to go from Word to the forum and it drives me up the wall every time. With the old dark mode I had to paste without formatting to see it, then do spacing and whatever else manually. Roooough. All help is appreciated.

Picked James Rose 1. Spence F - Kris Rice F - RJ Jubis F - D - Condor Adrienne D - G - 2. Esso F - Benny Graves F - F - D - Jeff Downey D -Hugh Jass G - 3. DMax F - Brock Louth F - Thomas Landry II F - D - Hulk Hogan D - G - 4. bigAL F - Mikko Lahtinen F - Ola Vikingstad F - D - Erik Killinger D - James Rose G - 5. Zetterberg F - Ray Sheilds F - Lewis Dawson F - Patrik Tallinder D - D -Alex Bridges G - 6. Big Green F - Phil Marleau F - Chad Magnum F - Markus Nygren D - Lincoln Tate D - G- @DMaximusnext

Review: 9.5/10 Great work as always Adv! You’re a wizard and writing in that classic hockey story form, weaving quotes from important people in between the insider analysis. The structure of the article is beautifully designed to build hype - right from the click bait headline, to the agent not denying it, to the angry fan, and then, at last, after we’ve seen all the shit going down, Walker denies the claims. I was halfway through the article before I started the gears turning of how my team could get Walker, and I’m sure I’ll every other reader was thinking the same thing. Keep it up and keep is in the loop with what’s going on in Malmo!

Review: 9/10 Great work DaaD! Your game summaries are top notch, and you’re a king of that writing style. You take the game logs and turn them into interesting and comprehendible narratives. The little touches put this over the top - I love the inclusion of logos and photos. It’s not a perfect score because the centre alignment drives me nuts, but that’s a me thing. Keep it up to keep me in the loop!

It's so nice, I'll claim it twice

The D.C. Dragons had a hell of a season last year. The playoff race came down to the final day, with the Dragons eking into a wild card position. The play-in series went to a dramatic fifth game before the Dragons set the Wolves on fire with their dragon breath. The feisty team ran into the eventual champs, and bowed out of the quarter-finals in six games. Playoffs are a funny place to look for an analysis on the upcoming season. On one hand, the playoffs include less games than a regular season, and the sample size can be even smaller for teams that don’t go deep into the tournament. On the other hand, they are the most recent games played for most teams (including our Dragons). Sometimes the best indicator of future behaviour is the most recent past behaviour. All five forwards currently on the Dragons roster played in last season’s Founders Cup tournament. Mikko Aaltenon retirement aside, the forward corps that pushed da Bearz to six games is largely coming back for S74. The biggest change for our hero is that Groovy Dood is no longer stuck behind Aaltenon on the depth chart. Season 74 will see a promotion for the main man, moving from the third line to the second line. Joining him will be regular linemate and fellow young-person Xavier LaFlammant, and expectations are high for the highly-touted duo. As always, the spotlight is on Groovy Dood. He’s first on the team roster list, for no other reason than he’s the only left winger left on the team. Even though The Dood isn’t technically a rookie anymore, he’s still the youngest member of the Dragon’s forward squad by draft year and TPA. The prized jewel of the organization, drafted first overall last season, is hoping for a big breakout year. This might be the season for Groovy Dood to take a big step because he’s Picking Up Where He Left Off! Groovy Dood had a “just okay” playoff in S73 according to the boxcar stats. Holding down the third line, stuck behind Aaltonen, the Dood never really took off. He was tied for fifth in team scoring, where superstar Aaltonen and linemate Boris the Forest each also had five points through the eleven playoff games the Dragons played. Groovy’s pass-first mentality led to a disparity in how he got his points: his four assists padded his stats and made his tournament look better than the one goal he scored. But if there’s one thing Groovy Dood has taught the league, it’s that he has a flair for the dramatic. Remember, this is the dude who scored on his first shot on his first shift in his first game in his first season in the VHL. And while he didn’t score on the first shot of the playoffs, Groovy Dood did score the last shot of the play-in series. His overtime winner in Game 5 sent the Vancouver Wolves back to the cave they crawled out of. Groovy didn’t score another goal in the playoffs, but as a third-liner, maybe he didn’t need to. Season 74 began after a lengthy offseason for Groovy Dood. Bumped up the depth chart because of Mikko Aaltonen’s retirement, the expectations were high for Dood’s sophomore season. His dramatic series-winner goal encouraged management and fans that there may be another gear ready this year, but everyone knows the sophomore slump is indiscriminate in its cruelty. As with last season, Groovy Dood is a man of games, if not seasons, and S74s games thus far haven’t disappointed. Already, he’s put up eight points in seven games, outpacing his playoff scoring from a few months ago. Again, it’s how he gets the points that shows who Groovy Dood really is. Always the showman, Dood knew a big season opener was important for the so-far underwhelming Dragons. As always, the Dood abided. In their first game against the mighty Helstinki Titties, Groovy Dood was all over the ice, the highlight real, and the scoresheet. It wasn’t a goal that made Dood’s debut famous, like it was last season or last playoffs, but instead his unreal passing. Groovy Dood was the catalyst for all three Dragons goals, picking up the primary assists on two Ricky Johnson goals and another by longtime linemate Xavier LaFlammant. Right away, from the first game of the season, Groovy Dood was reminding the league that he can activate beast mode whenever he wants. Even if we discount the season opener as a lucky fluke, which the haters love to do, Dood’s stepped up and emerged as a point-per-game player on D.C.’s second line. Without the wild three assist night, Dood’s season line looks like two goals, three assists for five points in six games – just under one PPG. With the excellent debut, he’s just over a point per game, with eight tallies in seven games. Already, the Dood is outscoring his playoff performance from last year. That’s not where his contributions end, though. Groovy Dood got big this off-season. He worked out with the legendary weight lifter Yegor Strongman in Siberia from the time the Dragons got eliminated to the start of S74 training camp. It’s been rumoured that the Russian coach used some, uhh, “unorthodox” methods to get Groovy Dood playing a more physical game. Teammates have complained of Groovy Dood spitting more than usual on the ice, and that the spit is frothier and foamier than an overflowing washing machine. Pundits from more violent sports like football, curling, and rugby are seeing telltale signs of “rabies use” coming from the Dood. Along with the frothing at the mouth, the Dood is throwing his body around like a madman on the ice. His 12 hits in 11 playoff games – the most intense, physical, nasty games of the year – have been exceeded already in the first seven games of S74. Look for Groovy Dood to set career highs in hits, fights, opponents hospitalized, and biting majors. All in all, Groovy Dood is reaping the success of last year’s playoffs, taking advantage of his spot on the Dragons’ second line, and preparing for another successful season in the career of a first overall draft pick. 1042 words

Could this be the game I survive until the end?! Not likely, but it's worth a try

1. Spence F - Kris Rice F - RJ Jubis F - D - Condor Adrienne D - G - 2. Esso F - Benny Graves F - F - D - Jeff Downey D -Hugh Jass G - 3. DMax F - Brock Louth F - Thomas Landry II F - D - Hulk Hogan D - G - 4. bigAL F - Mikko Lahtinen F - Ola Vikingstad F - D - Erik Killinger D - G - 5. Zetterberg F - Ray Sheilds F - Lewis Dawson F - D - D -Alex Bridges G - 6. Big Green F - Phil Marleau F - Chad Magnum F - Markus Nygren D - Lincoln Tate D - G @ZetterbergI’ll give you 12h from when you got tagged

Ola Vikingstad joins team bigAL - go @Zetterberg 1. Spence F - Kris Rice F - RJ Jubis F - D - Condor Adrienne D - G - 2. Esso F - Benny Graves F - F - D - Jeff Downey D -Hugh Jass G - 3. DMax F - Brock Louth F - Thomas Landry II F - D - Hulk Hogan D - G - 4. bigAL F - Mikko Lahtinen F - Ola Vikingstad F - D - Erik Killinger D - G - 5. Zetterberg F - Ray Sheilds F - F - D - D -Alex Bridges G - 6. Big Green F - F - Chad Magnum F - D - Lincoln Tate D - G

Spence F - F - F - D - Condor Adrienne D - G - 2. Esso F - Benny Graves F - F - D - D - G - 3. DMax F - Brock Louth F - F - D - D - G - 4. bigAL F - Mikko Lahtinen F - F - D - Erik Killinger D - G - 5. Zetterberg F - Ray Sheilds F - F - D - D -Alex Bridges G - 6. Big Green F - F - Chad Magnum F - D - Lincoln Tate D - G I dunno about you guys but I can’t read this font during the daytime. Ugh, “progress”. Anyways, fire away @DMaximus