twillcox94

Content: 3/3 Good overview on how the Titans have performed this season. It could of used a bit less stats, it kind of made it a boring read. Grammar: 1.75/2 championship, and with some new faces 2nd place, just 3 and 7 points, and Czar Titan's goalie Kimmo Salo Don't need to capitalize face off offence have the Titans looking like the team --> offence, the Titans are looking like the team to beat in the European Conference. year, so it's Appearance: 1/1 Clean and organized with pictures and a title. Total: 5.75/6

Content: 3/3 Brief overview of Iginla's struggle this season. Not to different from the real Iginla's constant early season struggles in recent years. Grammar: 1.75/2 Can't be a new hometown. Huge run on sentence in the first paragraph that could of been split into two or three sentences. taken the spotlight in Calgary, and really made up for -- > doesn't need a comma Run on sentence at the start of the third paragraph. Wranglers team came into S41 of the VHL, not expecting to be playing --> doesn't need a comma Appearance: 1/1 Nothing to dock a mark off for. I would suggest to maybe centre the picture next time and use a different colour font, the one you had was kind of hard on the eyes. Total: 5.75/6 Overall: 5.5 - 5.75 = 6/6

Content: 3/3 Really creative article. Great read. Grammar: 2/2 Nothing much build --> built Well, he is a damn good one too. Franchise's youth Appearance: 1/1 Really organized and clean. Great pictures and format. Total: 6/6 Overall: 6/6

VHL; real life, real problems.

Content: 3/3 Fantastic overview of the VHLM so far this season. Really interesting read. Yukon is 2 bad. Grammar: 2/2 Nothing really at all. with all that offensive --> Offence to be a dark horse Appearance: 1/1 Really slick design. Total: 6/6 Overall: 6/6

Content: 3/3 Interesting article going over Komarov's recent struggles. Hopefully you can pick it up. Grammar: 1.5/2 Komarov knew his rookie season would be a tough one the defender didn't expect to light up the league, However he was expected to be a physical shot blocking machine. --> Komarov knew his rookie season would be a tough one; the defender didn't expect to light up the league ,however, he was expected to be a physical, shot blocking machine. Komarov has shown the shot blocking side, currently sitting at 20, but the physicality that made Komarov a force in the VHLM has just disappeared. - Still worded a bit off . Through 8 games Komarov has 7 hits far off from his usual pace many experts just blame the fact hes asked to do too much for a young Davos team, however Komarov is just baffled --> Missing some commas. I would of went ... Through 8 games, Komarov has 7 hits, which is far off from his usual pace. Many experts just place the blame on the fact that he's being asked to do too much for a young Davos team, however, Komarov is just baffled. " I expected us to struggle i didn't expect to score a whole ton but i mean this is just embarrassing my team expects more from me and i expect more of myself. " but I mean The rest of the article is well written, but mostly everything is missing commas. The general rule I go by for commas is to place them where you would pause when you are reading the sentence out loud. Appearance: 1/1 Paragraph form, pictures, title. Total: 5.5/6

claim 2

Wranglers 4-1

Rush 3-2

33. Outlaws 34. Wild 35. Watchmen 36. Rush

Content: 2.75/3 It was good for what it was, but it kind of felt way to simplified and boring. Could of added a bit more pop to the answers instead of just a couple of really simple answers. Grammar: 2/2 Just a few comma errors and a missing unit for weight. Almost dropped to 1.75, so try to clean it up a bit for next time. Harumpf is a 5'5", 250 lb, playmaking center Middelfart, Denmark As if that wasn't enough, he Oskars, it's been Appearance: .75/1 Organized neatly but could of used a picture. Total: 5.5/6

fixed .

Is Willcox the Missing Piece for a Saskatoon Playoff Run ? BRAMPTON- After letting it be known all off-season that he was happy to stay with Brampton, General Manager Terrence Fong decided to ship the winger to Saskatoon for a season forty-two first round pick. With Brampton in a rebuild season, Terrence Fong decided to reward Willcox with the chance to compete for the Founder's Cup with the Wild. The 6'4'' youngster will provide a big body up front for the Wild, and will be sure to bring a rough and rugged style of play. Willcox has spent a bulk of his off-season training improving his goal scoring ability, which is a key ingredient for success in the VHLM. " Willcox was a pleasure to have here in Brampton during his shorty stay. He has shown great promise, and I have no doubts he will greatly improve the Wild. With our lack of depth it just wasn't our year, and I wanted to give Willcox the chance to try for a cup in his final VHLM season. " - Blades' General Manager Terrence Fong " I am very excited to bring Willcox into the fold. We had lack of depth on the wing, and I think Willcox addresses that problem very nicely. He will bring a great two-way game, so he will play in many key situations on both offence and defence. I am also excited to see him evolve into a offensive threat this season. " Wild's General Manager Kendrick " I want to thank Brampton for the opportunity they gave me by bringing me over from Wales. I am very excited to compete with Saskatoon and try to bring a cup here. I was disappointed by my performance in last season's playoff series against Minot, and I want to erase that out of my memory by having a good showing this season. " - Travis Willcox

Content: 3/3 Always will give full marks for something outside the box. Refreshing to read. Grammar: 1.5/3 Again Firkley hit everything I noticed. Some of it is just a preference more than correction and would normally be a 1.75 if it was a bit longer of an article. Appearance: 1/1 A photo didn't show up for me but I would assume it is just on my end. Clean and easy to read. Total: 5.5/6 OVERALL: 5.5 - 5.5 = 6/6

Time to fuck shit up ... and get a new sig .

Content: 3/3 Good brief overview of the past and future for Milos Denis. Grammar: 1.75/2 Pxzero hit the ones I noticed when reading over it. The mistakes pointed it caused it to be a slightly sloppy read at the first go around. Appearance: 1/1 Could of used a bit more, but not enough to dock any marks. Total: 5.75/6 Overall: 5.5 & 5.75 = 6/6

Content: 3/3 Good overview of how each player performed during the season. Grammar: 2/2 Nothing much at all. Calgary Dragons --> Wranglers ... unless I am missing something. great of a seasons --> season Appearance: 1/1 Nice and clean with pictures. Total: 6/6 FINAL: 6/6

Willcox and AIM-11 to Lead the Blades BRAMPTON - With the beginning of season forty-one rapidly approaching, the Brampton Blades will once again look to make their way into a playoff spot to compete for the Founder's Cup. Last season ended in disappointment for the Blades, as they were taken out in five games by the Minot Gladiators in the opening round of the VHLM playoffs. After a rough start to the season for the Blades, young guns A.C. Savage, Travis Willcox, and AIM-11 were able to end the season hot and push the Blades into a playoff spot. After losing A.C. Savage to the Turku Outlaws, the Blades will rely heavily on Travis Willcox and AIM-11 to make a repeat appearance in the VHLM playoffs. Forwards Travis Willcox and AIM-11 will be leaders for the Blades AIM-11 will be extra motivated to have a good season for the Blades, as he was selected by HC Davos with the thirteenth pick in the season forty-one VHL draft. A good performance will secure him a spot with the big club next season. In seventy-two games with the Blades last season, AIM-11 finished with 110 points, ranking him amongst the top of the club lead. This off-season he has also developed a defensive game to go hand in hand with his dynamic offence. He can now be relied on to be a factor on the penalty kill, making him a candidate for the top two-way forward in the league. With another full season under his belt and a plenty of practice hours accumulated in the off-season, AIM-11 will be the heart of the Blades' offence. Travis Willcox, who is is eligible for the season forty-two VHL draft, will be looking to rise in the draft rankings with a strong season with the Blades. The eighteen year old started strong with the Blades last season, but tapered off at the end of the season, where he saw his ice time fall to the lowest on the team. He finished with fifteen points in twenty-two games, but showed a more defensive style of game as he adjusted to the VHLM. Willcox has trained his offensive game heavily in the off-season, and with the play-making ability of AIM-11, Willcox will be sure to add more to the Blades' offense. Still, Willcox will be relied on to play a physical style of play and wear down the opposing team's forwards. " AIM-11 and Travis Willcox will be crucial to our success this upcoming season. AIM-11 will anchor our top line and provide the bulk of our offense. He is a dynamic puck handler who has his home behind the net where he has one of the best passes in the league. Willcox is a player who is a great net front presence, so with AIM-11's passing ability and Willcox's strong net front play, we will look for plenty of goals within four feet of the net. Both players are also very responsible defensively, so both will be expected to also go head to head against other team's top lines and keep their chances to a minimum. " - General Manager Terrence Fong AIM-11 will be the key to the Blades' offense Brampton will be fighting for a playoff spot from from the get go, having to compete against Minot and Saskatoon for the final two playoff spots behind Yukon. The loss of A.C. Savage will be a hard bullet to take, but Travis Willcox and AIM-11 are two players that will be capable of carrying the team into the promise land.

Travis Willcox - Brampton Blades

http://www.getitwriteonline.com/archive/020204whencommabfand.htm If the word and is joining two independent clauses, you use a comma. The Legion addressed their need for a goaltender by bringing in stud prospect Fedir Okranitz and added to their offensive depth with Raphael Pettyfer and Dirk Firkley. They added a veteran presence and back-up goalie in David Blind and even drafted a retired player. - It wouldn't flow well at all without a comma. There shouldn't be any worry though, he isn't going to end up getting a mark less than 5.5, so he'll still get his 6 tpe.

Which ones aren't correct? From what I was taught they should be put in when you read the sentence out loud and it has a natural pause in it. I might be wrong.

Content: 3/3 Good overview of the Legion's draft. They will be a good team in the future, got a lot of young talent in one draft. Grammar: 1.5/2 Nothing major, just some small mistakes added up and bumped you down. Fedir Okranitz, and David Blind, and goaltender department -- > I think it should be goaltending department, but big deal. VHLM action, he Pettyfer was drafted while they only put up --> while he only put up since you're talking about Pettyfer look for them -- > look for him ( you kept referring to them instead of him in the entire paragraph ) veteran of the VHL, and while boost, he wasn't during S40, so why he Appearance: 1/1 Nicely organized and legible. Total: 5.5/6

Braden Lozinski for MVP

Canucks are just all over the Penguins.

Willcox is sure to lead the way for the Blades this season In an unlikely turn of events, Willcox is returning to the Blades for season forty-one. Willcox was selected twelfth overall by the Blades, who made a trade to acquire that pick just days ago. The welsh winger was thought to be a top ten pick in the draft, but the selection of David Blind by Minot and George Patton by Yukon in the first round resulted in Willcox dropping to Brampton. " I am thrilled to be back in Brampton for the upcoming season. I never thought that this would of been the case, but I won't complain. I saw that Mr. Fong acquired the twelfth pick, but I did not think I would drop that far. After not playing many minutes last season, I am hopeful that I will be the leader of the squad this season and be a minute eater. " - Travis Willcox Even though he is back home, Willcox's confidence took a shot after he fell to number twelve. " Did I think I was a first round pick, yes. Do I still believe I should of been a first round pick, of course. I think Yukon and Minot made a mistake passing on me, but that is their choice. It is now my job to show them that they were wrong and do all I can to lead Brampton to a championship. There will be a couple more hits thrown when I visit Minot and Yukon. " - Travis Willcox