NSG

Wtf. Is this some kind of filter?

Wait, how did “FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY” get changed to “FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY”???

1. Eh, it’s a mixed bag. I try out for a soccer team (prolly will make it), but I also get FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY in the VHL Draft, drafted behind some welfare owners. Good stuff 2. Be the best team player I can be and help the new players on the team. 3. Have fun! 4. Have a good time. I know, very high expectations for y’all to live up to. 5. Miami. You’re great @Ricer13, but it’s always nice to beat you. 6. Cheez Its or pasta. 7. Not covering your nose with your mask. All the popular kids do it, perhaps it’s an Alabama fashion statement. Also a great way to get COVID.

Ha, I am a generous fellow

Vancouver had a lot of picks, especially in the early rounds. @Beaviss and @Spence King had 7 picks this year, including 5 in the first 2 rounds, and, in my opinion, used them wisely. Obviously, one of those picks included me. Here are the 7 picks made Friday night, and my opinion on them. Enjoy. My grades are not based on talent, but more of about how high they were selected versus how high I perceive their value to be. 10th Overall: Robin Galante Nilsson, D, 242 TPE, @RomanesEuntDomus Not a bad pick. Discipline is a question, but he has good passing and very good defense. He has a good amount of TPE and he could be a rock solid defender in a season or so, and the build is all right. Now, here’s my big issue: He’s big into welfare and hasn’t claimed a Media Spot since December 20. Nearly a month now and it isn’t changing at this point. Welfare guys are nice, and he’s active (being a reviewer), but “Frequent Welfare Claimer”, even with 10-12 TPE a week, isn’t the best thing you want to see on your resume. Grade: C+ 16th Overall: Jivere Zolnek, C, 256 TPE, @Sixersfan594 Now, if I were a GM, I woulda drafted this guy 10th and not 16th. Known as Beowoof on SBA, he feasts on Affiliate PTs, so he isn’t doing Media Spots, but at least he is writing , even if it is on another website. He has the most TPA of any Vancouver prospect and I would be surprised if he gets a call-up mid to late season if he keeps putting up those gaudy TPE numbers. I’d like to see more passing, discipline, and checking, but overall a very good build. Not much negative to say about this choice. Marvelous. Grade: A+ 19th Overall: Napoleon Bonaparte, C, 178 TPE, @CptSquall Normally I don’t expect hockey players to be named after generals, but I guess this is an exception. Like me, he’s a first gen player, and it seems that the GM team likes first gen players, as they selected 5 this draft. His TPE earning dipped last week, but he seems to be good at getting lots of TPE and he has done a few media spots and does some reviewing as well. However, he’s also claimed welfare a couple times and it is still unknown to me whether that is the norm or the exception. Only time will tell, but even if he’s a welfare guy, his build is a very good one, in my opinion. Grade: B+ 21st Overall: Javad Kamkar, D, 187 TPE, @Parriyah9374 Another first gen, he should be good backup for Nilsson. He also has an SBA account, and has done a few Affiliate PTs, but he seems to be doing a lot more welfare these days. Why he was selected as high as he was is a mystery to me, but nonetheless, he has a very good build and I can’t wait too see what he becomes, even if he’s a career Welfare guy. Personally, he reminds me of Nilsson, just drafted at a more reasonable position, which makes this pick look good. Grade: B 26th Overall: Henry Tucker, RW, 186 TPE, @NotSoGood88 Wow, this is the best pick ever because I got drafted! Lol, just kidding. However, what I’ve been told by the guys on the live stream and my old GM, @Ricer13, is that I was a pretty good draft choice. The live streamers said that I’d been active (which is true, I’m doing a Media Spot right now, and I’m on Discord), but one of them couldn’t figure out where he’d seen me chatting, which may be one of the highlights of my time on VHL (after a minute or two, he used his excellent recollection skills and figured out I was on Miami, probably doing the “Counting Torture Chamber” with Ricer). Obviously I’m active, have a good bit of TPE, and only claim Welfare if I have no choice. Real steal, and though I need to work on my build, we’re getting there. Grade: A 42nd Overall: Tater Tot, G, 131 TPE, @Trunkxolotl Tater and Tucker not only play for the same VHLM team, but now are poised to be career teammates as they work their way up from Minnesota to Vancouver simultaneously. I know nothing about goalies, honestly, but it seems like he’s on the right track. Very much a Welfare guy, but he’ll be a good backup (maybe even starter, who knows?) and had the best sim I’ve ever seen. Very good bargain at 42. Grade: B 55th Overall: Loic Trepanier, G, 141 TPE, @Noxalpha Mid 4th round, you’re just taking chances, and this guy is a Welfare Earner through and through. He has good enough TPE, however, and although he didn’t get much action, his 3.29 GAA was very good with Halifax and he helps replenish a previously depleted goalie pool for Vancouver to turn to when their senior citizens retire. I don’t know much about him, but he could be something. Grade: B Overall: A- I was disappointed in the selections of the welfare guys in higher rounds, but they definitely had TPE. There were some very good selections, and I think the team overall did well. The GM team should be proud of themselves. On a separate note (since I need to get to 1,000 words), Henry Tucker, my first gen player, has decided to unveil a new signature. It’s based off Alex Ovechkin, and my first sig, definitely not that great, but shit happens, man. I just used a painting app and painted away. Tucker has been described as a strapping young man who has a sly sense of humor. As far as hockey goes, he is known as being a very physical but undisciplined guy who is willing to throw his body around. His offense is there, but the defense needs work. That’s it for today, have a happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and most importantly, don’t get corona. I hope you enjoyed this article and please comment. 1,019 Words Claiming for 1/24 and 1/31

1. Hah, I’m on Minnesota, it would be interesting if I was still there. 2. USA 3. Ryker. Why not? 4. This new GM team seems like they know what they’re doing. 5. Yay. 6. Bill Cosby.

So my big problem is school and tech, I’m always on this iPad of mine, I still get all As, but still, not a good habit, especially if I wanna stay as fit as I currently am. So, mostly my still-ness is one of a few things. 1. Playing Wii Sports. 2. Reading. 3. Putting a heat pad on my back and relaxing. 4. Petting my cat. 5. Playing soccer. There you have it.

Well, Henry Tucker has had a solid stint in the VHLM, playing 2 seasons and getting some good TPE numbers. Here’s his scouting report. Offense: 8/10 Make no mistake, Tucker is very, very good on offense. Everything is a 40-ish base, but Tucker has a 70 in shooting and passing, with a 65 in puck handling that’s trending upwards. His improvement was massive in Minnesota, where he got 43 points in 72 games from the 2nd line. The clutch goals came when he needed them, including 2 over the course of the season against his first team, @Ricer13’s Miami, one of which was a game winner. This is a part of his game that will only get better as time goes by. Defense: 6/10 Now, Tucker is a very good defender, don’t get me wrong. The thing is that he only has one key attribute, checking, up to 70, which made his stats looks very good. He got 200 hits (on the button) in 72 games, which is amazing and led Minnesota offensive players, but one must wonder what he will do with all the TPE he’s earning. 15 shots blocked and 72 PIMs certainly didn’t help his case, and his presence didn’t make much of a difference for the Storm. Emotional Aspects: 10/10 As far as character goes, Henry is a Hall of Famer. In Discord, Tucker is an active contributor, well known for his contributions to Miami, with many appearances in the “Counting Torture Chamber”, as well as adding humor in “Pokemons” and occasional profanities in “Casino Corner”, especially after Ricer robbed $900. His user is very active on the forums and is currently applying to be the aGM of the San Diego Marlins just 3 months after joining VHL. He frequently pops in on the Miami general and alum chats while also making contributions to Minnesota’s LR. And it doesn’t stop off the ice. Tucker has 50 LD, and bought experience points on his first VHL purchase. He seeks to make contributions wherever he goes and you couldn’t ask for a better veteran presence... as a rookie. Other Notes & Conclusion He’s gonna grow up and be a high TPE player with a lot of loyalty, a guy who will go with the people, not the money. Just a heads up. Career VHLM Stats, Including Playoffs Seasons: 2 (S74, Miami, S75, Minnesota) VHLM Drafted: Round 3, 76th, Season 75 Games: 103 Goals: 12 Assists: 32 Points: 44 +/-: -46 Shots: 153 PIM: 94 Hits: 222 Shots Blocked: 15 Game Winning Goals: 1 Power Play Goals: 5 Shootout Goals: 0 TPE: 173 (With 11 On The Way) CK: 70 FG: 43 DI: 43 SK: 70 ST: 43 PH: 65 FO: 43 PA: 70 SC: 70 DF: 43 PS: 43 EX: 40 LD: 50 Position: RW Height: 6’3 Weight: 200 lbs. Nationality: U.S.A. VHL Draft Rank: 23 Accolades: Season 74 Founders Cup Total Amount of Cash Received: $3,000,000.00 489 Words

I want to give this a go

I’ll apply

To put it mildly, Henry Tucker, blue-chip 1st gen prospect, is wishing that he could play a little longer than 8 seasons. The 23rd ranked prospect in ten upcoming VHL Entry Draft is really pissed off that he can’t play until he can’t no more. Here he is speaking at a pre-draft interview. ”Good grief. This system is beyond egregious. What the [multiple expletives] were they thinking when they decided that? I look at EFL, SBA, and no limits on years you can play. And the sad thing about this is that this is a great site with great people, and then they screw the selves over with this limit? Why? Go check out SBA and they’ve got regression down easy peasy. So, why oh why? This system is broken with a capital K.” Well, that really sums it up, and I don’t need to talk much more, but sadly for me this is a 500 word Media Spot and that’s not 500 words. So, I must continue writing. Tucker is waiting to be selected, and based on his TPE is expected to be a mid 2nd round pick after 2 seasons in the VHLM. He debuted with Miami and scored 1 point in 31 games across the regular season and playoffs before being selected 76th in the Entry Draft by the Storm. With them, he scored 43 points in 72 games and had an exceptional 200 hits and shoulda been the Most Improved Player. He has been contacted by 3 teams for the Draft, but they probably wish to remain anonymous so they will remain anonymous. Not many, but better than some, I guess. Meyer had some stuff to say about the 3 teams recruiting him. ”Well, it’s a real pleasure for GMs and aGMs to notice that my player is good and actually care. This seems like a real great “upward mobility” story, y’know, goin’ from 76th in the Entry Draft to 23rd ranked prospect. Damn, very, very happy.” It’s also worth noting that his agent is trying to become the aGM of San Diego. He’s being interviewed and appears to be the only applicant for the job. He wants to make a legacy and I also know that it’s good to test out new things. He can’t be a GM at present because he doesn’t have a laptop (by the way, my apologies for switching points of views constantly), but when he gets one, he will be. @thadthrasher should probably know this because I will definitely be an aGM for a long time if I get hired. Anyway, so I can get to my 500 words, I’ll quote myself, always a fool-proof strategy to avoid libel. “Well, an aGM spot opened up in San Diego. That’s not big news, obviously. Well, nobody for real signed up for it, so I said, ‘Why the hell not? Might work, might not, but hey, I get to have a good time. So I signed up. Got interviewed, Thad hasn’t responded, so either he’s gonna hire me or he isn’t. I’m really amazed how much I blossomed over the couple months I’ve been here, mostly because of Ricer, who decided to sign my player, gave a guy like me half a chance. Didn’t work, but Minnesota found a 3rd round gem in Tucker. Sorry for bragging, buts it’s true.” 558 Words

Ay! Still 24th!

1. It was lit, I’m a kid so, yeah, I get the day off. 2. Ummm, a baseball glove. 3. With people and by myself. 4. Pasta, rice, or fried chicken (sadly, not everyone in my family shares this view) 5. A cat. Great way to catch up on sleep, 6. Yes, Miami will win it all. 7. The people, the Discord, and watching Tucker grow, 8. Looking at all the game recaps. I expected blowouts by the end of the season.

1. Snack? Ah, hot chocolate. 2. 4.25 3. 2 (I’m 1st gen, played for Miami last year) 4. Grapes! 5. Leadership. 6. No idea. I live in the Deep South. What is snow?

Oh, man, wow! No idea I knew how to guess these things

En fuego is Spanish for “on fire”. And that is the best descriptor for prospect Henry Tucker. He has managed to play 2 seasons and earn $3,000,000 before getting drafted by a VHL team, while playing for 2 teams. Tucker began his career playing for the Miami Marauders at the tail end of Season 75, playing 13 regular season games and recoding 1 assist, 6 shots, 13 hits, 12 penalty minutes, and a -7 differential. In the run to the Cup, Tucker played another minor, 4th line role, playing 18 games and taking 3 shots, delivering 10 hits, and accruing 10 PIMs and a -9 DIF. He may have got a ring, but all in all, the stats were extremely disappointing. The VHLM teams thought he would forever be a big dumpster fire then, and Tucker was selected 73rd overall by the Minnesota Storm in the VHLM Entry Draft. Tucker was really pissed, and made sure that everybody knew how pissed off he was. But it wasn’t gonna be with his mouth or his fists. It was gonna be with his performance. He had a lot to be pissed about. That @Rayzor_7 and @Mr_Hatter waited that long to pick him. That his old GM @Ricer13 wasn’t gonna pick him up. Tucker knew it probably wasn’t personal, but he was pissed anyways, and so began the Henry Tucker Redemption Tour, the second he got notified he’d been drafted 73rd. Tucker figured out what he wanted to be and began spending TPE on Checking, Scoring, and Passing, quickly reaching 70, while beginning on Skating, and he is currently at 50, though after this Media Spot and the 12 uncapped TPE from the donation drive, he’ll be at 68 SK. Then, he found his way into the lines (maybe 2nd line) and has been amazing. He is currently has 11 goals (on 130 shots) and 28 assists for 39 points through 66 games is tied for the team lead with 181 hits, while he also has 13 shots blocked, 1 game winning goal, and 5 power play goals. He has a sad -31 +/-, but, hey, Minnesota sucks. Tucker has also got to 123 TPE, and is currently ranked 25th in the Season 76 Draft Rankings. The Auburn, Alabama product wonders why you can only play 8 seasons before retiring, since Mr. Tucker wants to become “Mr. Longevity”. Tucker thinks that, in the present system, he needs to have a quick rise to the VHL, a way to get on the first line, which he believes will come from all-around ratings (70 on everything), and a way to stay on the 1st line. That’s it!

An assist, 5 hits, and a shot blocked? Good sim for Tucker.

Ok, 24th is pretty good for me!

1. My fave is most everything. 2. Trombone and piano! 3. Pasta and rice 4. If you’re talking about VHL, physical. That’s my strategy in basically anything, anyways. 5. As a physical and offensive winger (not offensive as in vulgar, though) 6. My old team, Miami Marauders (scored on them recently) 7. Maybe travel up to Virginia

I have posted!

Just replied.

4 points in 3 games. Finally, we coming alive!

1. Joseph Sharkton 2. Doing nothing. 3. Cat, but maybe dog, but NOT mongoose. 4. A lot. Hatter is not the name I desire for my child. 5. S74. Won the Cup w/Miami. 6. Too hot. Then at least the girls would like me. 7. Why not?

Man, I swear, Tucker has stopped producing. He was a bona fide star (1+ PPG) but he has really fallen off.

1. Wow! I am blown away by my performance! The current stat line (7 GM, 5 GL, 6 AS, 11 PTS, 8 PIM, 19 HITS) is a HUGE step up from last season (13 GM, 1 AS, 1 PT, 12 PIM, 13 HITS). 2. I see a 2nd ring for Henry Tucker. 3. My old team, defending champs Marauders. 4. Beat em with speed. Shoot it too right corner. 5. Only 8 years up in the show? Dang, 6. Blackberries.