dogwoodmaple

As a child, Maple Dogwood never wanted to be anything other than a hockey player. From the moment he was old enough to walk, his dad has him in skates and was doing everything he can do prepare his son for a lifelong love of hockey. By six, he was playing with middle schoolers and by 12 he was on the high school team. Everything was all hockey, all the time. In fact, according to Maple himself, if you would've told him that his life would take a turn towards the silver screen at some point, he would not have believed you. "Me? An actor? Never in a million years. Not that I'm against the idea or anything, it's just that I never imagined I would ever be in this position. in fact, when my agent got the call and told me I was convinced it was all a joke. I hung up on him. But then when he called again and again and kept saying the same thing, I almost passed out. I mean, Dune 3 is going to be a massive hit and the fact that they want me to star was mind blowing. I guess there was some big conflict with Timothee Chalamet and some other movie and they said I was the number one choice. I didn't exactly think I had A-list movie star looks, but they're insisting," Dogwood explained. It wasn't all good news, however, as the VHL commissioner has frowned upon the idea, according to league sources. Many in the league administration think this could be too big of a distraction, while others are convinced it could help raise the profile of the league around the world. "I mean, there's going to be press tours all over the world. And I've already told my head coach and my agent that I'll be spreading the word about VHL at every possible chance. I want to help row the league as much as possible and this could be a big opportunity," Maple said. Of course, there's the elephant in the room. How will this impact Dogwood's playing career? "That's what everyone is asking me. How will I manage to play? How will I stay in game shape? What if there's a conflict with the game schedule? Well I've been assured by my agent and by Denis Villeneuve himself that they will work around the league schedule to make sure I can do both. This is just unbelievable all the way around but I could not be more excited. I mean it's Dune!" Dogwood said. His former teammates were as shocked as he was when they heard the news, with one teammate saying that Dogwood looked "more like Oscar the Grouch than Timothee Chalamet" and another questioning the production company for the decision. When asked about those comments, Dogwood laughed them off. "Probably a couple of teammates who thought I didn't pass them the puck enough. I'd be lying if I said they were wrong, but here we are! First thing I'm going to do is re-read all of the Dune books and start making sure I know everything about the entire universe," he said. Dogwood has also pledged 25% of his salary from Dune 3 to three of the VHL-designated charities with another $1,000,000 coming from his current contract.

1. S82 with Miami! 2. I'll have to go with this past year, I was fortunate to have a really good season with Halifax. 3. Continental Cup in S86 with Vancouver - hell of a ride! 4. Two full seasons and it felt pretty right, overall 5. Duncan Idaho for sure. Love me some Dune 6. I don't think so. I'm happy with my current role and feel pretty comfortable with it

Maple Dogwood was recently detained by the United States government for allegedly trying to enter a foreign country without a passport or proper Visa, according to the New York Times. Dogwood, a standout young forward in the VHL, was at a loss for words when confronted about his situation. "This whole time I've been traveling back and forth from the United States to Canada when I played for Halifax, so I just don't understand what the issue is. I'm pretty sure my passport is valid and the Titans traveling secretary assured me that everything was taken care of as far as my travel goes. I mean, I've gotta get to Helsinki somehow," Dogwood said. In the meantime, Dogwood is forbidden from leaving Atlanta's Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport and is being detained there by at least three federal agencies. "All I know is that I just tried to board my flight and then out of nowhere a bunch of guys in uniforms raced out of seemingly nowhere and tackled me to the ground. They were wearing FBI, CIA, and ATF jackets, which really confused me. I mean why would the Central Intelligence Agency, Federal Bureau Investigation, or Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Firearms be after me? I know I had a previous allegation of insider trading and securities fraud stemming from that meme coin situation a few months ago, but my lawyer told me those charges were all dismissed," Maple explained. When asked for a comment, the FBI and CIA simply said nothing, but the ATF officer apologized and explained that they made a mistake and that Dogwood ended up on one of their watchlists for a reason. Still, there is more than a little confusion from both Dogwood and Helsinki as far as his detainment goes. Sources close to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution said that the CIA and FBI were investigating Dogwood for potential espionage activities. He's not accused of spying against the United States, but rather accused of spying for the United States, but doing so without official clearance from the proper authorities. When asked what led them to believe Dogwood is potentially a spy, the source simply said that the CIA is convinced that someone that handsome, that smooth, and that deadly has to be a spy. They would not elaborate further. When asked directly if he was a spy, Dogwood quickly shot down those rumors. "Look, if I was a spy, I would've stolen the Saskatoon playbook when I was with Halifax. We would've wiped the floor with them, don't you think that would've been something a world-famous spy could've done? I mean come on," Maple said. To some, that answer was a curious "non-denial", although people within his circle have been adamant that this entire thing is a joke to Dogwood and that he has never spied on any one for any reason. "I even reached out to our Georgia U.S. Senators for help and their offices said they would look into it. Until then, I'm stuck in this airport. But I have to say, there are much worse places to be stuck. Hartsfield has a ton of great restaurants, plenty of coffee shops, and loads of space to roam. I just hope this situation gets resolved soon so I can actually get out of here at some point."

1. I did! I was hoping to hear my name called early and was pumped to find out I was headed to Helsinki 2. Surely an A+! Especially with that Maple Dogwood pick... 3. I always try to watch as many events as I can! 4. Not sure I even really know. I'm in a bunch of them, that's for sure. 5. I would say somewhere in the middle? We're cordial enough, but not close pals or anything. 6. Raw cookie dough is almost as good as baked cookies.

"We'd like to congratulate Maple Dogwood for being the next national spokesman for Krispy Kreme," their CEO announced yesterday. It was not entirely a surprise, given the back and forth that has gone on behind the scenes between Maple Dogwood, his agent, and the Krispy Kreme executives and sources say both sides are glad that it's been formalized. "I've always loved Krispy Kreme donuts. When I was a kid and I was out running errands with my dad, he always stopped in if he saw that the hot sign was on. He just couldn't resist it," Dogwood explained. Including appearing on television and radio advertisements, Dogwood's duties will include throwing out the first pitch of a minor league baseball game between the Connecticut Ice Cream Cones and the Dover Donuts next month, as well as refereeing three national eating competitions involving Krispy Kreme donuts. Included in his agreement was language that precludes Dogwood from entering those contests, as scouts and VHL general managers have expressed concerns about him eating too much sugar this offseason. "I could not be more thrilled and I've already started working on my refereeing skills for those eating competitions. I've read the rulebooks twice and even practiced my form and whistle blowing. Some people might think being a ref for a donut eating contest is a joke, but I'm taking all this very seriously. Krispy Kreme has put their trust in me and I'm not planning on letting them down," he said. When it comes to throwing out the first pitch, Maple is confident...to say the least. "I was a high school baseball star, so I'm not worried about some little first pitch. I might them with a cutter or two-seamer, maybe 92, 93 on the gun. I still have a lot left in his elbow. Do I think this pitch will lead to a potential opportunity for me to play Major League Baseball? Look, I'm not saying it won't. Once those scouts see this rocket launcher attached to my shoulder, I expect I'll be getting a call or two from some MLB general managers," Dogwood said. In addition to a monetary benefit he will get from being the spokesman, Dogwood also receives something he called "worth more than gold" - a lifetime supply of free Krispy Kreme whenever he wants them. "Money is temporary, but donuts? That's how you forge a legacy. I'm pumped to just be able to pull in to any Krispy Kreme location, flash my lifetime pass card and walk out with free donuts any time I want. There are a lot of great hockey players in this league and some even have some very lucrative sponsorship deals, but call me if you find one as valuable as this. They're paying me to show off my baseball skills, ref an eating contest, and film some commercials, and I get free donuts on top of that? Let's just say my agent is going to be getting a massive bonus this Christmas, because he absolutely knocked this deal out of the park. Who knows, I might even dabble in other desserts in the coming seasons. Maybe I'll be the next face of Oreo Cookies or Mayfield Ice Cream? The possibilities are endless, just like my supply of free Krispy Kreme donuts!"

1. Hard to say, but no doubt we will give it our best shot! 2. Of course! What's not to love about it? 3. Lets go with that handsome devil Maple Dogwood 4. Yes! Thrilled to have the opportunity. 5. You know what? Why not US?! 6. Eating Waffle House and jamming to some mid 2000s pop-punk

With the season unfortunately over for the 21st in Halifax, Maple Dogwood sat down with News Channel 10 to discuss his offseason plans before it's yet again time for training camp. "Well I'm obviously disappointed with how the season ended, but I try not to dwell too long on that sort of stuff. We gave it everything we had but just came up short in the end. I'm still proud as heck of my teammates for what we did out there. But! Moving on to the offseason, the first order of business is my cleanup project over at Panuke Lake. Panuke is just around the corner from Halifax and there's been some reports of trash washing up on its shores and that just doesn't sit right with me. So me and some of my teammates have decided to head over there on Sunday for a massive cleanup. I'm talking about the shore, the water, cleaning up anything and everything we can get our hands on," Dogwood said. But that wasn't the only community project Maple plans on doing this offseason. He's also set his sights on something a little bit closer to home here in Halifax. "I remember one of the first days I was here in Halifax, we had a light day of practice and some of my teammates took he out to the Birch Cove Lakes Wilderness Area. It was incredible - great views, incredible weather, and a wonderful way to actually see one of the high points of this city that I'd be living in. I decided that once the season was over, I'd help sponsor and build some additional picnic tables, a gazebo, and to help renovate the rest area there. There was just something about seeing those views for the first time that really stuck with me and made me want to help provide that opportunity for someone else. So in two weeks, we're all heading over with our tools, supplies, and a major league work ethic to get the job done," Dogwood explained. But that doesn't end the offseason for Halifax's rookie forward. In addition to the service projects in and around Halifax, he will also be taking some vacation time. "I'm thinking of renting out a cabin in the woods for a week, just to get my mind right. Somewhere by a river or lake up here where I can wake up, enjoy my coffee with a great view and some privacy. I need to decompress for a bit after the way the season ended, but I've always enjoyed the outdoors. There's just something about nature and the quiet that I've loved ever since I was a kid. Throw in some long walks, some steaks, maybe a six-pack or two, and it's a great way to close out the offseason," Dogwood added. When asked what his lasting memory of Halifax was, Maple was quite complimentary of the 21st. "I just can't say enough about this wonderful team, the locker room, and all the front office staff. They welcomed me with open arms and truly made me feel like a member of the team from day one. Not just that, but they were gracious hosts when it came to getting me acclimated to Halifax in general. It's the kind of franchise you'd love to play for your entire career," he ended.

Game 73: Seattle Bears vs. D.C. Dragons This one was lopsided from the opening puck drop as Seattle came out firing on all cylinders. In the first period, Severus Targaryen cashed in a powerplay opportunity to start the scoring and was followed by Sadie St-Louis just a few minutes later. The Dragons never got their offense going and Seattle continued to absolutely pour it on. They scored twice more in the second period thanks to the exact same pairing who lit the goal light in the first. With Targaryen and St-Louis doing their damage to extend the lead to 4-0, it was all but over for D.C. They managed to cobble together two goals in the final period, but never came close to threatening the Bears in any meaningful way. Final Score: 4-2.

1. I definitely think so, but I have a bad feeling about the semifinals... 2. Step one this offseason is some rest and recouperation with the family. I'm thinking the Caribbean 3. I eat the same meal before every game - Waffle House All-Star Special! 4. I always try to keep a close eye on the league happenings, gotta stay in touch 5. Next year, that's what my Magic 8 Ball says 6. Never!

It was quite the eventful evening for Maple Dogwood and the Halifax 21st, full of highs and lows. The highest high was their Game 5 victory over Philadelphia, which clinched the quarterfinal series and advanced them in the postseason. The lowest low was the disaster that befell the Halifax home arena just a few hours after their victory. "So we win Game 5, which was awesome. The home crowd really carried us through a hard fought game and we were just thrilled with the outcome. But our coach always tells us to not linger on a victory too long because there's still work to be done. So we celebrated for a bit but I knew we needed to improve our play if we wanted to keep winning in the postseason, so I immediately got some rehab work in. Did some stretching, some cold tub dips, and finally I headed over to the sauna like I do after every practice. But I noticed the sauna wasn't hot at all. It just felt like a normal setting, which was really weird, so I found the control panel and jacked that thing up. The screen displaying the numbers was all cloudy so I couldn't really see what it was reading, but I just cranked it up as high as it would go. It definitely started to feel a little warmer, so I just figured I was still amped up from the game and running hot," Dogwood said. It turns out that the star forward for Halifax was so exhausted after Game 5 that he actually fell asleep in the sauna. Now, I know what you're thinking - he'll get heat stroke! He'll need medical attention! Well that's not where this story is going. After a 45 minute inadvertent nap, Dogwood awoke and noticed his feet were wet. "I looked down and saw that my feet were in a puddle of water, which is weird because this sauna has never had any issues with leaks or anything. But I realized it wasn't just a little puddle - it was a lot of standing water. I immediately opened the door and raced out and stepped into ankle deep water in the entire locker room. What's worse, I went out to the arena itself and could not believe my eyes," Dogwood explained. It turns out that the control panel the rookie forward turned the temperature up on wasn't the sauna - it was for the heating and cooling element that controls the ice temperature. In the time he fell asleep, the entire rink had melted into a giant swimming pool. "Apparently I was the only person in the building, which is why nobody stopped it. I guess that's a lesson to my teammates that they shouldn't have been out celebrating, they should've been working or rehabbing like I was. When you think about it, this is really their fault as much as anyone," Dogwood told the media. To make matters worse for Halifax, they have a home game in the Semifinals scheduled for just a few days away and they're frantically trying to either flash freeze the rink or find a new arena to play in until the problem gets fixed. When the Halifax head coach was asked for a comment, he only said that Dogwood better score the game-winning goal to win the title this year with all the trouble he's caused off the ice.

1. Main thing is to just enjoy this run with my teammates! 2. One horse race, baby! HALIFAX!!! 3. I'd say the most underrated has been myself, while also being the most overrated because some say I'm the greatest of all time, but that's clearly not true. Yet. 4. All of them. Bring me a bunch of teams to eliminate 5. Probably reading - I love a good book. 6. Let's go with the Avalanche. Always liked them growing up

A big fan of musicals, Maple Dogwood was excited to finally have a few days off before the postseason started where he could cross something off his bucket list. He'd seen "Come From Away" numerous times on and off Broadway and has always enjoyed the story. For those unfamiliar, it tells the story of the September 11 attacks and how after United States airspace was effectively closed, more than 7,000 passengers were forced to land at Gander Airport in Newfoundland. The town itself only had a population of 9,000, so this wasn't some big city taking on thousands of strangers on one of the more frightening days in modern North American history. It was a tiny town who fed, clothed, and kept safe thousands of people and did it with a smile and open heart. "I remember the first time I saw 'Come From Away' and how taken I was with the music and the story. That caused me to do what I always do when I learn about something for the first time - head to Wikipedia. I read up on Gander, on Newfoundland, and on the incredible actions of the locals on the days following September 11th. When I found out I was headed to Halifax I realized that I wouldn't be too terribly far from Newfoundland and made plans to visit the town of Gander whenever I had a few days off," Dogwood explained. Determined to see some of the countryside, Dogwood endeavored to make the trip to Gander without flying, much to the chagrin of his coaching staff. Numerous members of the Halifax front office cautioned against this tactic, worried that Dogwood would be too exhausted to do well in the playoffs, but his mind was set. "First thing I did was rent a car and got on my way. I drove through the wonderful towns of Middle Musquodoboit, Elmsvale, and Greenwood, as I meandered towards the coast. I stopped for lunch in New Glasgow and had a wonderful cup of soup and sandwich. After, it was on to Port Hawkesbury and eventually to North Sydney where I caught the ferry to Newfoundland. After landing at Channel-Port aux Basques, it was back in the car for the winding drive to Gander," Dogwood said. When he finally arrived at his destination, Dogwood checked into his hotel, got a very good night's rest, and planned on going to his number one site first thing in the morning. "The only piece of steel from the Twin Towers outside the United States is right here in Gander, as a part of the Compassion Monument. That's the first thing I saw that first morning and it was incredibly moving. This entire community has an openness and resolve about itself that is striking. Everyone I've encountered here was gracious and felt like I'd known them for years. And to actually meet some of the people who were part of Operation Yellow Ribbon, as it was called? I can't even describe how the felt," Dogwood explained. After three days in Gander where Maple saw all of the sights, met loads of new friends, and spent more than a few hours in pubs, it was time to head back to Halifax and prepare for the postseason. Fully preparing to get back in his rental car and make the long journey home, he got a knock on his hotel room door as he was about to leave. "So I open the door and it's someone from the Gander Airport. They told me that they have a private plane just for me, heading back to Halifax if I wanted to take off from that fateful runway where so many stranded planes were parked on that infamous day. I almost broke down in tears and before I could answer someone whisked my bags away and I was on my way to the airport. To say that this trip had an impact is selling it short. What a wonderful story, what wonderful people, and what a wonderful way to spend a few days, honoring all those who helped in that time of crisis," Dogwood concluded. '

1. Their exciting attitude and willingness to help us improve on the ice. 2. I think so! It helps make sure we are in a good position to continue to contend with elite depth in the future. 3. We're in prime position and I feel really good about our chances. 4. Hard to say who made the biggest moves, but I think ours will have a really big impact in the future. 5. I jumped off a parked boat trying to dunk and fell. Broke my ankle 6. NONE OF THEM! Let them sleep in the streets for all I care

When looking around the league for possible rebrand options, there's one grouping that sticks out like a sore thumb. Looking along the west coast, it's clear that there are just too many teams on that side of the continent. In order to continue to grow the game and keep interest from fans all across the country, we need to move one of those franchises. The easy selection is one of Vancouver or Seattle because, while it makes for a nice rivalry, that's just too much hockey for that close of quarters. Because I once played for Vancouver, I'm letting them stay put and moving the Seattle Bears to Atlanta. Why Atlanta, you might ask? Well in the interest of full disclosure, I'm born and raised here. But more than that, Atlanta has everything you want in a major sports city. We have the world busiest airport which is more than capable of handling the fan and team traffic, in addition to thousands of hotels in and around the city to accommodate the gargantuan needs of a franchise. When you look at what other major institutions call Atlanta home, it's a no-brainer. World headquarters of Coca-Cola, Home Depot, and a slew of other Fortune 500 companies are all here, as well as the College Football Hall of Fame, the Georgia Aquarium, and Centennial Olympic Park. For rabid sports fans, there's the Braves, the Hawks, and the Falcons, as well as the numerous other sporting events Atlanta hosts, including the Super Bowl, the Final Four, and College Football National Championship. Now that we've established that Atlanta can physically do the job as a major city, it's time to talk about geography. There is a massive hole in the league for teams in the Deep South which needs to be rectified. I know hockey may not be a traditionally popular sport, but the love of the game has grown exponentially in the last decade with more and more professional hockey players coming out of the Peach State and surrounding areas. For the actual branding, my first gut has to be the Peaches. Georgia is the Peach State and the city of Atlanta has something like 125 different roads with the words "peachtree" or "peach" in the title. If we go with peach, I'm envisioning a light peach colored peach with green stem, with some dark red accents on the fruit itself. Across the peach would be two hockey sticks pointing in opposite directions at the bottom of the logo. We could even go with Georgia Peaches if the league wanted to, as that's what we're quite famous for. Another option would be the Atlanta Grits. With the prominence of Waffle House in the Deep South, I could see a logo of a plate of buttered grits with two hockey sticks acting as fork and spoon on the plate. This would be a great link to the cuisine and culture of the region and highlight one of the many delicious things that makes the South the South. We could even partner with Waffle House as we'd have a natural strategic partnership to help market the brand and grow the popularity. Regardless of which brand the league would decide to pick, two things are quite clear: first, Atlanta needs a team, and second, the league needs Atlanta. 552 words '

1. We just gotta keep grinding. They're playing incredible hockey right now. 2. MAPLE DOGWOOD! Why not? 3. I'd rebrand any team to an Atlanta franchise and name them the Peaches 4. I think we could use one more defensive stick on the bench 5. I did! It was pretty cool, I think we were around 88% of totality 6. Waffle House meal before every game

3YU11863AV8915508 $15 CAD Free Week (12 TPE Capped) 5 TPE Uncapped Doubles Week (6 TPE uncapped from a PT being done)

In a developing situation around Halifax, rookie winger Maple Dogwood is under suspicion by federal authorities for being involved in a cryptocurrency scam. Against his attorney's advice, Maple agreed to talk to the media about the current allegations. "Look, I have no clue what this is about. I'm told that there is some sort of cryptocurrency trend right now involving names of fruit products. Something like the hot new coins have fruit names - applecoin, orangejuicecoin, stuff like that. The coin at the heart of this whole mess is apparently "jellycoin" which I have never even heard of. What I think happened is that it was my sister's birthday two months ago and she is obsessed with obscure fruit spreads. Y'know, jams and jellies of the world. Not the kind you buy in the grocery store, I'm talking about exotic stuff from all over the world. So I start doing some internet research and I come across a Jelly of the Month type of website that offers to send someone one random jar of jelly each month for a year, or so I thought. I probably had 50 tabs open on my laptop and I was exhausted, so I thought I was putting my information and credit card number into the site for the Jelly of the Month, but apparently I had clicked on some sort of pop up site that has ties to this jellycoin. I inadvertently purchased $10,000, which I didn't even realize until my business manager called me the next day," Maple told reporters. When he was told the unbelievability of that story, he said he understood how it sounds. "I know, I know. But that's the honest truth. I have zero doubt that the authorities are going to determine this was just an honest mistake. I even put a cancellation on the payment the next day when my business manager called me asking about ten thousand dollars. I thought it was $100, but we had just played two games and I was absolutely exhausted and just wasn't thinking straight. I hate that this has caused an unnecessary distraction for Halifax and my teammates, but I'm hopeful there is a swift resolution right around the corner," Maple said. The federal prosecutors have a different take on this developing story. "Are we prepared to say that Maple Dogwood is a crypto kingpin who has used his celebrity status as one of the league's top rookies to bilk unsuspecting victims out of their hard-earned retirements money? No. But we aren't not not prepared to say that," Oakton Catstone told the media. When we reached out to Halifax for a comment on the situation, they simply responded that because this was a pending matter, they are unable to comment and forwarded all inquiries to their in-house legal department. Many across the league have called for a suspension, but the VHL commissioner has been clear that right now there is no action they can take. It has impacted attendance at various Halifax games, however, as it's been standing room only just to have a chance to boo Maple every time he steps on the ice. One fan tossed a plastic jar full of soil at Maple as he entered the Halifax arena yesterday, calling him "lower than dirt". Maple continues to vehemently declare his innocence. 553 words

1. Honestly for me, the main highlight has been the off-ice stuff! Great locker room and I'm pumped that things are going well for us. 2. Good luck, great teammates, and a fantastic gameplan from our coaches! 3. The rest of the league! It's trophy time or bust for Halifax. 4. The Georgia Bulldogs - proud alumnus and love all of our sports. 5. March Madness takes the cake. How about NC State? What a story 6. Honestly, I love a good home cooked meal!

Until last week, Maple Dogwood had never been to Halifax's famous Peggy's Cove Lighthouse. And had he not traveled there on what turned out to be a random chance, there would have been a canine disaster the likes of which Halifax has ever seen. "It all started when I just started Googling local sites to see in and around Halifax. I'd never been to this wonderful city before being drafted here and wanted to make sure I visited all of the must-see places. On that list was none other than Peggy's Cove and the famous lighthouse so I knew I had to check it out. I packed a lunch and planned on having a picnic there and it was actually going quite well at first. I was enjoying the weather, the views, and the delicious charcuterie board I packed myself when all of the sudden I heard an enormous crash," Dogwood explained. That crash, as it turned out, was a bus from the Halifax Humane Society on the way to the large dog park not too far from the lighthouse. One of the tires on the bus exploded, which sent the bus careening off the road and straight towards the cliffs that the lighthouse overlooked. The crash itself knocked the bus driver unconscious and trapped not only the four volunteers from the humane society in their seats, but also put into peril some 19 dogs that were on the bus as well, on the way to the dog park for a day out. Upon seeing this, Maple sprang into action and raced over towards the bus immediately set on rendering aid to any and all he could. When he got to the bus itself, he found the unconscious driver but was able free him from the airbags and steering wheel before dragging him out of the bus. "After that, I saw the other volunteers who didn't seem to be banged up too badly. I didn't have to do much to free them since by the time I got there they had wiggled themselves free and managed to grab a dog in each arm to take them to safety. The problem was the weight of the bus. All of the dogs were trapped at the back of the bus which was the part of the vehicle that was hovering over the cliffs and water. There were still 11 dogs back there and I had to somehow get them all to the front without moving too much weight to the back, if that makes sense," Dogwood said. "Luckily, my lunch is the real thing that saved the day. I still had some meat from my charcuterie board in my overcoat and was very appetizing to seven of the dogs who quickly came running. I was able to grab them and gently toss them a few feet to safety. Three of the remaining four I was able to wrangle with some coaxing, but one remained as the bus continued to teeter over the edge - a quite-terrified chihuahua who wanted nothing to do with me. I thew some cheese at it to no avail, even tried to slowly approach it but I got nothing but barks and growls. I was running out of time and knew I had to act fast, so I simply leapt for the dog and prayed it didn't viciously maul me. Fortunately, I was able to grab the small ferocious animal as two of the volunteers held each others and my arm to extend the length. They pulled us back out just before the bus itself fell over the cliff and was consumed by the waters of the cove," Dogwood explained. To celebrate his courage, the city was planning on building a statue of Dogwood at the dog park, but Maple insisted they did not. Instead, he donated $1 million to the Halifax Humane Society who invested a considerable amount in the dog park as well as waiving all adoption fees for the next 12 months on all of their dogs.

1. I think we made some major moves this offseason and they'll position us really well for the upcoming season. 2. I would love to take home an MVP trophy, but for me it's all about getting those championships! Nothing like finishing the season on top 3. Does old school emo count? Standard Lines by Dashboard Confessional is still a banger 4. My hopes are a title here with Halifax, but my expectations are just a really fun season with an interactive locker room 5. Probably my physical fitness. I've been hitting the donuts pretty regularly lately and the team doctor wasn't pleased when he put me on the treadmill. 6. YES! We've got a deep roster, talented bench, and wonderful users and I truly think we can get it done.

Game 66: New York Americans vs. Toronto Legion It didn't take long for this game to see fireworks with some early scoring from both sides to start. In the first period, New York found the net first thanks to a goal from FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY Analfist, but that was quickly answered with a fury by Toronto. Goals each from Jimi Jaks and Bobby Bob gave the Legion a 2-1 lead and that was just the start. Mac Atlas for the Legion scored in the second period, extending their lead to 3-1, before the aforementioned Bobby Bob made it an unsurmountable 4-1 lead in the third period. The Americans tacked on a late goal to cut the deficit, but they couldn't get enough offense going to threaten Toronto in this one.

Shock, embarrassment, and utter humiliation. That's what newly drafted forward Maple Dogwood is said to have experienced this weekend when his plan to join his new team went stunningly awry. "When I got the call from Halifax, I was thrilled. They scouted me pretty thoroughly in the pre-draft process so I knew I was on their board somewhere and when word came that I was headed that, I was just over the moon. Words can't describe how happy I was because I knew it would be a great locker room, a great situation, and just a wonderful place. Of course the first thing I did was call my parents and then my agent and we started to plan out the next moves. I knew I had to get to Halifax from Atlanta, make sure I had all my gear and everything. And since I was so excited, I booked the first flight I could find. That's when it all went wrong," Dogwood explained. "I thought it was strange that there wasn't an airport in Halifax, just one nearby, but I figured that was just how it was. I'd never been there before and I was so dang fired up that I don't think I was thinking straight. I booked my ticket, got a ride to the airport, and off I went," he said. Unfortunately for the newest member of the Halifax 21st, Maple Dogwood booked a ticket to Halifax, England via Leeds Bradford Airport and not Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. "Look, I hadn't slept at all because I was so worried about the draft and then I got to the airport and do you have any idea how busy Hartsfield-Jackson Airport is in Atlanta? It's literally the busiest airport in the world. So forgive me if things got a little foggy there for me. Anyways, I got on the flight and got my seat and put my carry-on away before my row-mate sat down next to me. We made small talk and then it occurred to me that I hadn't eaten in a while. I asked him if they were serving any meals on this flight and he looked at me like I had eight eyes. 'Well I sure as hell hope so. We're going to be on this airplane for the next 11 hours.' I thought he was just joking or maybe I misheard him, but turns out he was completely serious. I decided to take a quick nap just after takeoff and it turns out I was out for five hours before I came to. When I woke up it didn't seem like we were any closer to Halifax. Before the flight, I googled the travel time before we left it said five and a half hours, so I was a little nervous and thought something might be wrong. That's when I used the little computer screen on the seatback in front of me to see exactly where we were. That's when it hit me like a ton of bricks. We had already passed Halifax, Nova Scotia and were clear over the Atlantic Ocean. I followed the path on the screen and saw that it had us landing just outside Halifax, England," Maple said. That's when he broke his cardinal rule of never paying for in-flight wi-fi and frantically emailed his family, his new coach, and his agent, explaining that he would be late arriving to his new team and would miss the first practice. "I eventually made it to the correct Halifax the next day, but the team all had a big laugh about it. There were 15 geography books, 12 maps, and nine atlases all piled up in my locker with a big red dot around Halifax and "YOU ARE HERE" written on them in marker," he said. The winger joins the 21st as their second round pick and has been banned from any unapproved flights for the coming season.

1. Gotta be the camaraderie in the locker room. I love the day to day vibes of the VHLM 2. I was drafted by Halifax and I couldn't be happier! Feels like a great group of players and users 3. Mine is probably loading up on Waffle House. Never play on an empty stomach. 4. Lately it's been some good ole Jimmy Eat World 5. I wish I was better at golf, but let's go with baseball. 6. I once sliced by finger almost all the way off with my own skate. Blood everywhere

With the draft coming up, I thought I'd take a minute to breakdown my thoughts on the draft and rank three things I look for in my VHLM home. 1. Most important has to be the overall locker room atmosphere. Especially at the VHLM level, the camaraderie and activity in the locker room is probably the most valuable part of the start of any player's career. I've said it before, but if you're not enjoying your teammates and locker room, it won't matter how well you're playing - you're going to have a bad time. 2. Winning is second for me. I mean who doesn't want to bring home trophies? We play to win and it's every player's dream to hoist the championship trophy at the end of the season. Not to mention the thrill of the playoff chase and excitement both in the arena and in the locker room when the team is firing on all cylinders and playing lights out. There's just nothing like it! 3. Least important for me is playing time. I mean, sure it's great to be a starting player and get the glory of gaudy stats, but starting off I really don't put too much stock into that. I'm all about trying to contribute when my number is called on and just enjoying the locker room and season. I'd much rather win a team trophy or be blessed with a fun locker room than win MVP.

In a stunning story of heroism, rookie forward Maple Dogwood saved numerous lives when he went to catch a matinee of Dune 2. "It was one of my few days off from training and I figured why not go relax for a few hours at the movie theatre? I'd already seen Dune 2 thanks to a special showing from one of my sponsors, so this was my second trip. I was really looking forward to tuning out, but of course that wasn't meant to be. As shocking as it might be, I've never been a huge fan of movie theater popcorn, so it was just Mike & Ikes and a slushie, but everybody in there seemed to have that viral popcorn bucket. You know with the sandworm's mouth on it? And that's there it all went downhill," Dogwood said. Apparently two people in the row right in front of him were going all in on the bucket, but they also forgot to take their blood pressure medication, which caused their hands to swell. And both of them, by some horrible coincidence, got their entire arms stuck inside the popcorn bucket and they couldn't take it out. At first, they didn't worry because they were sure they could un-stuck themselves, but it quickly became apparent that things were serious. "I saw one guy start thrashing around in his seat and trying to free his arm and I honestly has no clue what he was doing initially. But then his wife started hollering and I knew it was serious. It took a few minutes for the theater staff to realize what was happening and then they turned the lights on. The guy's entire arm was turning blue and I thought he was going to have a heart attack. Somehow, things got worse when the person sitting next to him literally said 'I don't know how that even happens, watch' as he stuck his arm up to the elbow in the bucket. Sure enough, he got stuck as well," said Dogwood. Both men were quickly losing all feeling in their arms as the theater called 9-1-1 to alert paramedics to their current situation. Fortunately for those two audience members and their families, Dogwood was there to save the day. "When my grandfather passed away, he gave me his pocket knife and I always carry it with me. It lasted two wars, so I always thought of it as a nice tribute to him and all he meant to me and my family. Luckily, it has a small little pair of pop-out scissors and I was able to use those to trim back the teeth on the popcorn bucket mouth thing," he said. Thankfully, he was able to cut both of their arms free in just a matter of minutes and both men didn't even need to seek medical attention. When the paramedics arrived, they weren't even shocked about the call. "This was the 27th Dune 2 popcorn bucket related call that we've received in the last two weeks. I'm just glad it was an arm this time," said Sgt. Andrew Hockensen from the Atlanta Fire Department. To thank Dogwood for his quick thinking, AMC offered free tickets for an entire year, which Dogwood promptly donated to the Atlanta Children's Hospital.