BOOM

You're welcome Europe. Team Europe, Adi Dassler - Goal! The shootout specialist is back!

Like regression, this is pure theft! Something needs to be done, before legal action is launched against the VHL.

1. If you were to GM a Pro-Am team, what would your team name be? South Florida Female Body Inspectors 2. What do you think of our Off-Season moves? Unsure of the full transactions made, but I'm sure Sam is doing their best to strengthen the roster. 3. Who's gonna be the top player on Helsinki this season? Because they are fresh in my mind from GFX, Owen Lazaro. 4. What do you think of our new prospects? Good group, but that Facist Dassler will be a huge burden on the team and fans will demand he is traded! 5. Where does Helsinki land in the standings this season? Because my opinion has zero influence, #1 with a bullet. 6. Why does my neighbour think that loud vehicles are cool? Because the world is full of self-entitled fuckknuckles with no regard for anyone else but themselves. Go spray expanding foam into his exhaust pipes.

Join the LR you bozos.

Yayyyyy

1. In the Off-Season, where does your player call home? The finest brothels around the world. New York, London, Paris and Regina are just some of the examples. 2. Do you clean as you cook or clean after you eat? I do neither. Those are both tasks for domestic help and are beneath my status. 3. Do you cook? What is your signature dish? See above. I have a chef who prepares my meals and a taste tester who is my first line of defense against poisoning. 4. What is your favourite smell? Post-coitus musk, mixed with cigarette smoke and a fine bourbon, straight from the bottle. 5. Does your player like to spend their cash or are they a saver? They spend it as fast as it appears, as I don't like it gathering dust under my mattress. 6. Should only a player in the finals win playoff MVP? It depends, but my preference is yes. Unless a player has single-handedly dragged their team from the depths of hell to missing the playoffs bya point or something, finals appearances should be a minimum standard.

Crikey @Berocka. We should fair dinkum recruit some bonza new members and add them to the VHL. Stone the flamin crows, it's a you beaut idea. Whaddya reckon cobber?

Someone should do another set of team sigs.

Fuck Putin.

I ate chilli last night. Sorry.

Someone should enforce a rule that ensures that Davos doesn't essentially get a player for free. If you don't like who drafts you, tough shit.

1. Looking back at the playoffs, what positives can we take away from that series? That Moscow was competitive at this stage and will improve moving forward into next season. 2. Raise your hand if you are hyped for next season and playoffs. I am not sure how to express my hand gesture in written form. 3. It's my birthday on the 3rd, how old will I be? Somebody told me that you'll be retirement age, so whatever that is. 4. Would it be fair to say that we put Moscow on the map during the season? No. I'm fairly certain that Moscow was on most maps before this past VHL season. I have an old Atlas from my Grandpa and Moscow exists in that. 5. My player has a plan to really push defense up. Do you have a plan for your player? Plan? Ha, good one. I have no idea what I'm doing with Dassler. I think he'll suck to be honest. 6. I am going to kick back and relax during this offseason. What are your plans? Live my shitty life as best I can, until I need to do VHL shit again.

I just give new users the answers. Sue me.

Let's all have a beer together.

1. Did we kick some ass or what. How do you feel going into the playoffs? I'd prefer to be hitting some ass, but yes, Moscow should feel confident in the VHL Playoffs this season. 2. Do you think the coach will give us a pep talk before we hit the ice? I hope not, although as a VHLE player, I wouldn't be in attendance anyway. 3. Do you have any superstitions or have any special routine you do before a game? Three hookers, a bowl of coke and 1 Gallon of Vodka. 4. How do you feel about our chances in the playoffs? Will we go deep? If so, please be considerate and lube up. 5. What does our coach like when it comes to music? Russian Folk, Jazz flute and the Wiggles Greatest Hits Vol. 2 6. Do you feel good about your player? I haven't felt good about one of my players since Tordahl retired.