JardyB10

Hey there b-b-b-b-b-@birdbirdbird! What's the word?? I actually just finished writing a pitch to another player, and I'm starving and maybe dying and I need to address that right this instant, so please forgive me for the following copy-pasta!: My name is Jardy, and I'm the assistant General Manager of the VHLM's Halifax 21st. Unfortunately, our team has been struggling mightily this season, and we find ourselves at the bottom of the standings after 28 (of 72) games. We're still technically in the playoff mix, but we could definitely use some help. Like from you, for example! To start, I'll throw some general information at you: Contracts in the VHLM for new players like yourself are standardized. No matter who you sign with, you'll get $1.5M to play the rest of the season with any team of your choice that sends you an offer. Once the off-season rolls around, you'll be entered in the VHLM Dispersal Draft (and two others, but don't worry about that for now). Due to a recent (and rather successful) recruitment drive, many of the VHLM teams find their rosters to be on the full side of things this far into the season. Some are even too full! So that tends to affect how many offers you'll receive and how much ice time each team can provide. (If you're curious, you can check out the list of teams and their rosters HERE (be sure to click on the VHLM tab)) Anyway, that brings me to our offer! As I mentioned, our team has been struggling, and we've been looking for good active players and members to help stimulate our offense, which has been lacking. I can't guarantee you top minutes, but we do what we can to keep things fair for our players, and we've got a great group of people on the team who can help you develop and rise in our depth chart and improve your draft stock. If this all sounds neato to you, just quote this post (or @tag me) with an acceptance message, and I can send you a contract offer and a Discord Locker Room invite. If you have any questions or concerns, you can let me know! Welcome to the VHL.

Hey @EdwardTheSniper, welcome back! My name is Jardy, and I'm the assistant General Manager of the VHLM's Halifax 21st. Unfortunately, our team has been struggling mightily this season, and we find ourselves at the bottom of the standings after 28 (of 72) games. We're still technically in the playoff mix, but we could definitely use some help. Like from you, for example! To start, I'll throw some general information at you: Contracts in the VHLM for new players like yourself are standardized. No matter who you sign with, you'll get $1.5M to play the rest of the season with any team of your choice that sends you an offer. Once the off-season rolls around, you'll be entered in the VHLM Dispersal Draft (and two others, but don't worry about that for now). Due to a recent (and rather successful) recruitment drive, many of the VHLM teams find their rosters to be on the full side of things this far into the season. Some are even too full! So that tends to affect how many offers you'll receive and how much ice time each team can provide. (If you're curious, you can check out the list of teams and their rosters HERE (be sure to click on the VHLM tab)) Anyway, that brings me to our offer! As I mentioned, our team has been struggling, and we've been looking for good active players and members to help stimulate our offense, which has been lacking. I can't guarantee you top minutes, but we do what we can to keep things fair for our players, and we've got a great group of people on the team who can help you develop and rise in our depth chart and improve your draft stock. If this all sounds neato to you, just quote this post (or @tag me) with an acceptance message, and I can send you a contract offer and a Discord Locker Room invite. Take care, and let me know if you need help with anything.

This was a great read man! I'm still we weren't able to see your development through to the end of the season, but I'm thrilled that you've already had near as many wins in your first sim as you did with us the rest of the season.

First of all, good call with the shoes. This is not the kind of weather you want to get caught barefoot in! Second of all, I'm not too very familiar with the MLB, how exactly does their mid-season draft work? I'm intrigued... First of all, these answers are so damn heartwarming and they made me smile. Second of all, I know you were kidding with #6 but a little chaos would be pretty fun, especially when we don't have as much to lose. One of my previous players was meant to be a full on goon, but I abandoned the league for a while before I got to see his maximum Fighting potential. I have no qualms with being an unconventional player

Hey there @PeyakNisto, welcome to the VHL! My name is Jardy, and I'm the assistant General Manager of the VHLM's Halifax 21st. I won't lie to you; we're having a dreadful season so far! We have the talent but things just aren't clicking! Which is why we would love to welcome Billy Graham to the club for the rest of the season! First off, no matter who you sign with, you'll get $1.5M to play for the remainder of Season 81, which will be about 50% complete by the end of the week. What we can offer you in addition to that (and a benefit to signing with a team lower in the standings) is an easier climb up our depth charts! We do our best to keep things fair and competitive, but we also like to reward activity and improvement. If you'd like to join, you're welcome aboard! Just quote this message or otherwise notify me of your acceptance, and I can fix you up a contract and get you an invite to our locker room. If not, I'm happy to help with anything anyway.

In the Christmas Auction section

Halifax 21st Press Conference 3 Questions Answered = 1 Capped TPE 6 Questions Answered = 2 Capped TPE Please answer in full sentences Week Ending December 12th, 2021 1. Another ROUGH week of sims for us, as of this writing we are in DEAD LAST in the standings! How is this affecting your morale? Are you still enjoying yourself in spite of the bad luck, or are you ready to execute @Minion and I? 2. Congratulations! Halifax management has been officially executed under your personal orders, and YOU have been awarded the General Manager position in our place! What are some things you do now that you're in charge? 3. Speaking of GMs doing things, we made quite a few trades in the last week! We said tearful goodbyes to Bobby Rockwell @Kairi , Ariane LeBlanc @Horcrux, Gavin Zininger @ScoreAGoalBudEh, and now Weenuk Warrior @KnightRiley. In return, we've been fortunate enough to welcome John your door @your door, Wumbo @Fire Vigneault, and assorted draft picks for the future @S83. How do you feel about your new teammates, and how would you welcome them to Halifax? 4. Tell me about a memory that always makes you smile. 5. I'm sorry to tell you, but your house is currently and severely engulfed in flames. The good news is, you temporarily have super strength and super speed. The bad news is, you can only rescue three things from your home. What do you choose? 6. It's lawful for a landlord to ensure there is functioning smoke detectors on their property so no tragedies like Q5 ever occur. If you could change or add any rule to the VHL, what would it be? Answers can be funny or serious. | @LumberChuck @4rch3y @NatIng14 @Ente2997 @PoignardLeclerc11 @FANTEIGE @Austin2997 @Brandon P @Rain @your door @Timmy Turner @Gross Ross @jasplunds @Morcar80 @SeanL17 @bigAL@lukechezzwoo @Crummer77 @Fire Vigneault|

Farewell @KnightRiley! You've been awesome for us, and I'm sorry things haven't been panning out as well as they could have been! Best of luck in Saskatoon, which is where I live IRL. I'll be watching you closer than ever

*LISTENER DISCRETION ADVISED* The Best people here just shooting the shit. https://anchor.fm/jardy-b/episodes/Jardys-Hecking-Podcast--Episode-10-With-Special-Guests--Pt--2-e1bd52s EDIT - Song used in Podcast: Bottles Into Money - My Son the Hurricane On today's podcast that we recorded on Thursday, December 2, 2021, I have a sensual video chat with Commissioner @bigAL in his first ever podcast in forever. Way before he recorded with Australians or himself or any of those other losers. In this episode, we discuss: - VHL origin stories - The ups and downs of being Commissioner - Stories from The Good Old Days™ (the league almost dying, Thunderdome origins) - The VHLE! ~HOT TOPIC~ - What the VHLM is really about, man. *TOP TIER DISCUSSION!* Fast forward to this section if nothing else, it's a long and juicy one! (0:49:00ish - 1:14:10) - The Annual VHL Christmas Charity Auction - You can skip this if you want because I give away what I'd least like to eat for my auction item (1:14:14 - 1:35:00 ish) - I incorrectly state I can post this podcast before the Aussies did and other bullshitting. Drink every time I say "like" as a filler word. Mentions: @Berocka @Arce @Da Trifecta @fishy @Dil @tfong @Victor @Zero @GustavMattias @Banackock @FrostBeard @BladeMaiden @Alex_J32 @Minion @GrittyIsKing09 @Peace Passing Mentions: @OrbitingDeath @jasplunds @Morcar80 @Beaviss @Beketov @InstantRockstar @Advantage @N0HBDY @Quik @samx

Nice work man! It sucks to see you leave Halifax, but Ottawa is obscenely good and I think you can have some real success there.

You're both post whores!

You don't need to keep promises to all these fake friends of yours, do your homework!

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I’m always so excited to hear new voices in podcasts! Y’all are a cute couple of besties. I really like the dynamic between the calm and logical RJ with all his nerd tools and the more bombastic BladeMaiden, who at one point comically felt the need to apologize for saying “fucking.” I’m now glad I opted to take my second first crack at a defenceman, apparently they’re even more unpopular than I realized! And it’s one of the first things I noticed when returning and signing with RJ’s Bulls team. I agree that defence aren’t being helped with their “sexiness” enough. Even something as simple as relative +/- is ignored by most people, even though I think it tells a good two-way story. Yes, everyone on Toronto is going to have a negative rating, but you can still see the defensive effort of a player if they’re maybe a -15 while the rest of their team is -30. Especially if they get lots of minutes. Anyway, great job, please make more, and enter the podcast tournament.

Honestly not well. We’ve had pretty mild seasonal weather so far, but now winter is truly coming. It’s -21 today, which is officially too fucking cold. I working outdoors today, and even though I only have to be out in short spurts, it’s enough to make my fingies uncomfortably numb. Painfully frosty. And nearly every day for the next 3-4 months could be like this or worse. Tasks that would otherwise be brief take at least twice as long when you do them in these conditions. Activities that would normally be enjoyable, like walking a dog, are now treacherous and painful. The winter solstice hasn’t even truly arrived and yet I can’t wait for it to end. As all things in life do . Also Halifax is near the bottom of the standings, that sucks.

Looks like your apology Media Spot is next. Anyway, reading this Media Spot randomly conjured an image in my head of Sam’s wedding day or honeymoon, where her loving partner will lay a trail of chimken nugs to a beautiful 4 post canopy bed, where dozens of heart shaped nuggets are arranged in the shape of a heart on the blankets. Then Sam and her spouse will sit there and feed each other nuggets with their dagger-like talons and talk about their complex relationship with Chris Pratt. A truly romantic evening. Of course housekeeping is going to be pissed the next day having to clean up all those fucking crumbs everywhere, but it’s a small enough price to pay.

That’s one way to put it, yeah. Also I can’t believe you didn’t include my prize of fucking with the forums.

Hey

Am I getting a reputation of being stingy and pooing on deals yet?

Hate that we lost this, but love to see the new acquisition @your door get a goal on his first sim with the team

We'll miss you dearly! <\3 And now we have stupid Jim @Fire Vigneault ffs. Welcome aboard.

You don't have to pretend to like Gus or the mods, just let the hate and dictatorship flow through you! I'm looking forward to the VHL Auction, this will be my first one! Merry December indeed Sorry my comments are lackluster, I actually had to get work done after listening to the OzCast

Yes, 8th overall and a 5th rounder for 13th overall and a 3rd rounder. It was a solid deal.

Actual notes from your dogshit podcast: - Don't you dare overlap any questions I asked Albert! - I will accept that I am not a mere person but a state of mind, thank you. - Al speaking about go-getters like Spartan and youloser prove that the VHL just needs a good strong dictator! - No pay for AGMs! They're not real people, and their duties are entirely based on whatever the GM doesn't feel like doing. - That's interesting you bring up @twists, I just heard about him for the very first time today! - @Rayzor_7 shades - Berocka needs a better marketing team to really get his ideas off the ground. - Nobody actually wants to listen to an organized podcast, Green is dumb and the Pajodcast was dogshit, which is another podcast I invented (true story). - Again, I'm happy people are recognizing that I'm first person to ever podcast. - Oh right, the All-Star Game.... That's a tough thing to hype up. - There's a Rugby Sim League using a video game as the simulator? Time to fire up the PS2 again... - I don't know if I like the idea of spearheading good league ideas now that Berocka is someone who suggested it... - Jardy for VSN Radio eh? I think I just had a wonderful original idea... - I didn't edit and post my podcast because I'm a cool adult who HAS A LIFE on the forum, GOSH! - I guess you could theoretically steal my precious name... If you buy it from VHL Auction! - I'm guessing "bog" means a swampy vagina in Aussie slang. - You people can't even agree on your bog slang! 0/10 - The boubabi award voting controversy was different than you described. - #BringBackLottery? - Dammit Berocka, how are you going to run a podcast tournament without going on the forum!? - 40 in 40 talk? I said no overlapping, dangert! - For what it's worth, the original 20 in 20 I think was just 20 weeks of Media Spots. Maybe. @Victor, @Zero help - I was also a Commissioner that went on a permanent vacation! - Jeez, Albert sure must be glad *I* didn't interrogate him so hard. Timestamp: 1:19:45 - I'm not into your shitty 6 month old podcasts, I did the noob train because I loved the noobs. Loved: I haven't done one in a very long time because they're tedious and I hate recording them. If one of you could propose a better way of doing it that isn't 45 minutes of saying hi, I'd love to implement it 6 months from now. - I do love our podcast circlejerking. - Yeah I realize I probably don't give a lot of context for these comments. I'm going to give some context and this comment and tell you this was at the part where you were talking about long podcast reviews and sometimes you're not sure what specific part I'm talking about. - What part of Aussiecast that Berocka does that people enjoy: His silly accent - Re: Podcast Tourney: Theoretically, I could record a 20 minute podcast right meow, put a password in it, post it right now, and that will be my tournament submission? - Re: Podcast Tourney: I'm going for a clean sweep of all the categories, fight me. Hopefully I actually submit one. - Re: Podcast Tourney: You're welcome for reviving podcasts and the VHL as a whole and allowing this tourney to happen. - Re: Me being bad with guests: I think Sam and I were decently split, but I definitely talked a lot at N0BHDY. Big oops. - Re: Not posting my BigAL cast at a reasonable time: Sorry Al. - Re: bigAL saying no one is listening at this point: That's not true, I am still listening to this shitshow. - Re: Food suggestions: Have a nice fresh apple. - Re: BOOM: If boot starts posting lewd photos we'll all know what happened. Anyway, I'll give this podcast an 8.75/10, I was particularly impressed with the gusto you showed by leaving in all those awkward silences with your special guest, and talking about editing juicy Al clips and not actually doing it.

Then good riddance with you! Shoo shoo shoo