Doomsday

Quiet day.

1. Davos trading a 1st for Ben Laas is definitely something I didn't see coming, but I feel like more surprises are on the way. 2. Win the Continental Cup. I imagine putting up good stats will help that, but the Cup itself is the true goal. 3. By definition, putting milk into a bowl of cereal makes it soup. 1. In your opinion, what is the greatest hockey video game ever made? 2. With Spartan having finally broken his Continental Cup curse, what is the next VHL curse to be broken? 3. There have been some new GM signings in the league, which team got the best candidate?

The Chicago Phoenix and the Golf Course Capers Despite their season coming to an untimely end in Game Seven of the Semi-Finals to the Seattle Bears after erasing a 3-1 series deficit, the Chicago Phoenix nevertheless entered the off-season with high spirits. The core of the team is expected to remain intact, albeit still with room for improvement. Morale in the locker room remains high, as the team universally saw their season as the beginning of their next run, rather than a lost opportunity. “We have nothing to be ashamed about,” defenseman and alternate captain YaBoi Oven stated following the Game Seven loss. “No one gave us any chance to be here, but we still made it. This team gave everything they had, and left nothing on the ice. But sometimes, your best just isn't enough, and this off-season will be all about making sure that our best will win these games in the future.” However, exactly how the players will reach their best potential seems to differ by the player. Oven, for example, having just completed his fifth pro season, has been working on overdrive to maintain his conditioning and skills. Lionel Collberg, on the other hand, has been hitting the golf course in an effort to unwind and refocus over the off-season. While giving your body and mind rest and relaxation is hardly a wasteful way to spend an off-season, there is apparently such a thing as too much golf for YaBoi Oven. “It was a great time on our first outing,” Oven explained. “But the thing is, it never stopped. Pretty much every day he wanted me to meet up early in the morning at a different course, sometimes in another country. I get relaxing, taking a load off, especially after a long, physically demanding season… but this was too much. Lionel's off-season was being dominated by golf.” From that point on, Oven was determined to refocus his teammate's attention towards bettering his game over the off-season, and began to attempt to sabotage Collberg's golf outings. First, Oven attempted to disrupt a round of golf by turning on all of the sprinklers on the course. This wound up failing because it turned out to be a rather tepid temperature outside that day, and the prank wound up being refreshing, rather than revolting. His next effort was to toss extra golf balls onto each hole, hoping to confuse and frustrate Lionel. However, this too wound up backfiring due to Collberg simply playing the ball he felt was in the most advantageous location, rather than checking to see if it was the ball he had already played. Instead of directing his teammate back to the weight room, Oven was actually improving Collberg's scores instead. It was evident more drastic measures would be required. YaBoi next opted for a more explosive approach, replacing all of the golf balls in Lionel's bag with trick balls that exploded after being hit. Collberg proceeded to hit all 24 on the first hole, giggling with delight after each. He then grabbed a ball that had been discarded nearby, then proceeded to play the entire round with the lone ball, taking extra caution not to lose it. While Oven appreciated his focus and commitment to finish the round with a single ball, there was only one thing left to do to get Collberg back at team facilities. Just before Lionel could tee off for his next round, Oven burst out of the tree line on a golf cart and flattened Collberg at top speed, putting a premature end to the round before it even began. Since VHL players have 99 endurance and 99 durability, odds are that Lionel Collberg was never remotely injured, but regardless, he was summoned to the team facilities for rehab, which has gotten him off of the golf course for now, at least. Time will tell if it pays off in the way Oven hopes it will for Lionel Collberg. Jethro Novacek is a writer for the MSFL Times, the premium purveyor of simulation sports news. He enjoys evenings spent watching baseball, days spent not having to mow the lawn, and the long-awaited return of NCAA Football!

The fun thing of the VHL is that it's here when you're ready for it, even if you can't contribute 100%. Even just claiming welfare and practice facility can go a long way towards keeping your player going! It's a long haul, so you can take a break like this and still have a decent career! Best of luck to you, just remember that we're always here when you have the time for us!

I was jailed last night.

You're a joke for legal reasons

Hoagiefest is here again, my dudes.

YaBoi Oven - DC (90)

Job well done, @Baozi! Thank you for your hard work!

Me and the crew rollin' back to WAWA

1. Herb Brooks Arena in Lake Placid, NY. It's the site of the 1980 USA's Miracle On Ice, and ultimately a destination for any fan of the game. 2. I've been enjoying a lot of MLB The Show lately, and with it being so hot, maybe I'm getting too much time on it. 3. Find something you like to do, instead of just going to do it. Your motivation will be so much higher to do it that way. 1. Realistically, how long will it actually be until a Canadian team lifts the Cup again? 2. Who's a VHL member that you feel everyone should get to be a teammate of at least once? 3. What's your favorite way to beat the summer heat?

1. Finishing in third kind of answered that one for us, on to Seattle! 2. Swimming, whether it's in the pool or the ocean, is the quintessential summer activity! 3. It ended up being a great season! My assists were down, but my hits were up and Oven was dangerous on more than just the power play this season. 4. I mean, I thought it was pretty even. The five EU playoff teams were evident all season, but Calgary wouldn't have been a playoff team in the EU anyway. Overall, it's a wash. 7. Nothing really huge, just depth moves/re-signings. Cap is tight for the Flyers and it's not going to be about this season for us anyway. 8. Francesco Mancini was an absolute stud in the regular season and I can see him being a candidate for the Scotty Campbell Trophy for sure.

The only thing I'm pondering is this orb.

1. STHS seems to... strongly dislike Ryan Artyomov. He does not have Simon's favor this season. If we manage to figure out why Simon is so displeased with Ryan... watch out, VHL. 2. MLB The Show 24, I am very much enjoying Road To the Show right now. Made it up to the major leagues in Season Two and in the midst of a playoff push! 3. We just need to dig deep and thug it out. We have the tools, the talent, everything we need. We just need to want it and make it happen. 4. The Philadelphia Flyers pretty much did what I didn't want them to and reached for need instead of drafting for value. They left some players on the board that I felt were better options. 6. Yes, it was. He was the single best player during the playoffs, even if he didn't lift the Cup. If the Panthers finish the sweep, it probably would've gone to Bob, but he got roughed up a bit in those three losses. 8. I love carrots, even if they actually don't really improve your eyesight. Raw, cooked, they're delicious, but they're the best when they're part of a roast!

Lysol Biggums sounds like a Key and Peele name, and I am here for it!

this fucking guy lmao

1. I personally don't think where we finish matters, as long as we make the playoffs, but I think we'll finish at least third and avoid the wild card round. 3. I would say so... pretty identical offensive output to last season, but picking up the physical play in a big way here in Chicago. But the scary part is that I can be even better! 4. I really don't find fancy restaurants to be worth it. An exorbitant sum for tiny food? Nah, gimme the places where you can get great portions of even better food for an even better price every time. I'm simply not meant to be an elitist. 5. The team with the best chance of beating the Chicago Phoenix is the Chicago Phoenix. If we play our game, focus, and soar to the best of our abilities, we are unmatched. 7. Calgary was a bit emboldened by a hot start, but they have not resembled that team since. They are tumbling and with eight backup starts left to play, they're in a lot of trouble right now. 8. We are going to go on a tear, secure our ticket, and enter the playoffs playing our best hockey. In the true spirit of the Phoenix, we will rise and enter the next stage in a fiery blaze of power.

1. We are rolling along just as expected, although perhaps not in the way we expected it to happen. Our offense has been fantastic, but we need to help out Artyomov by clamping down on high percentage opportunities. It's still early, but we have laid a great foundation for us to be even better. We just need to seize this opportunity and keep going. 2. Gettysburg has always been a home away from home, and it is definitely my dream destination for retirement. It's such a special place, steeped with history. I've always believed that the indescribable calm and peacefulness of Gettysburg was paid for with the blood of those who fell there, and it's something you'll never forget once you've experienced it. 3. STHS always has a way of evening things out. It's a great start to the season, but statistics show that it is an unsustainable one. Don't get me wrong, Calgary has a quality team, but they're not going undefeated to the Continental Cup. 4. What, is the Eastern Conference already eliminated? Bummer. Anyway, gimme the Panthers. 6. Francesco Mancini is carrying this offense, even with half of the skaters on the roster averaging a point per game, he has been the clear standout. 7. I would love to be fluent in German, the language of my people.

1. @diacope F - Vincent Laroche-Gagnier F - Severus Targaryen F - Leonard Triller D - Liv Slater D - Obuz Schneider Canet du Bocage G - WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW 2. @Ahma F - Wann Kerr F - Harry Callahan F - FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY Analfist D - Callum Gary Yannick Janser D - Kronchy Kardashian G - Joel Castle 3. @Doomsday (GM) F - Jimi Jaks F - Mac Atlas F - Diego Machado D - Skor McFleury D - Fradin McGryer G - Fuuka Rask 4. @mmrs617 F - Thor Reingaard F - King Kisslinger F - Sjin D - Jacob Stone D - Mark Calaway G - Lachlan Summers 5. @scoop F - Axle Gunner F - Owen Lazaro F - Daryl Dixon D - Bobby Bob D - Jack Jeckler G - Merome Dilson 6. @Smarch F - Maxim Ansimov F - The Frenchman F - Savaisk Tzesar D - David Jokinen D - YaBoi Oven G - Ash Sparks

ITT: I learn that there are more Bluey fans in the VHL.

1. Ryan Artyomov has been good so far in his career, but this season will be the year that he becomes great. 2. The whole league needs to be on notice, because Chicago is coming for the Cup! 3. Joshua Schwarzer has all the tools to become a stud, and when it happens, I feel like the league outside of Chicago will be all like, "Where did this come from?" He's ready. 6. I haven't gotten to play on Davos again since my initial run with my first player, and it's somewhere I've always wanted to return. One day... but we have a job here to do in Chicago before I worry about that. 7. The Salt Lake Soakers, because come on, that name practically sells itself! 8. Classic Rock is my go-to. They just don't make music like that anymore and it's really sad.