.sniffuM

@Victor if you would have just voted for Nick Thicc instead of adding a no option to the poll Muffbeav could have been avoided ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Elon Musk. Salman Rushdie. Mahatma Ghandi. What do these luminaries have in common? They all wish they could be motherfucking Muffbeav! One of the newest VHL players to hit the scene, Muffbeav may be the strangest Muffins Agency import yet, taking the cake over two men well into the hundreds of the Aeschylus Jigglejawns lineage and some thing named Ebi Shpeen. Muffbeav is the first natural defenseman brought in by the Agency since the most recent Jigglejawns, CXXXVIII; in fact, he is the only defenseman aside from the two Jigglejawns’. Considering the fact that neither of those players made it to 100 practice hours, and especially considering the fact that Muffbeav is in line to be the Warsaw Predators’ first ever GM player, the hope is that he can break that curse and cross the 100 barrier, along with many more to come. Considering the fact that this week will already put him at 96, the odds of him making it past that initial milestone seem pretty high. inb4 my eyes fall out of my head and I have to quit sim leagues abruptly

wao

good night sweet prince

Last season really torpedoed me. ? Also shoutout me for finishing 2nd overall in points in S71, I will never achieve anything greater in my life.

wtf this one had an actual non-clickbait title #notmyfresco

Transaction ID: 70471054VR3397504 Doubles Week 5 Uncapped $1M Store Cash

Accept. Thanks to all interested GMs and best of luck as the season grinds along!

I was joking about how I quoted each offer in here but to comment on the content of those posts by accepting beaviss's gif. I am in fact still considering.

One of my favorite VHL players of this generation. Best of luck with your next player!

This is a massive promise that I don't believe you can keep. That's illegal man. Why everyone think I wanna be horny? Accept.

Forgot to shout out the AGMs, added that in.

Player Information Username: .sniffuM Player Name: Muffbeav Recruited From: Other (farmville) Age: 37 Position: D Height: 77 in. Weight: 215 lbs. Birthplace: United States of America Player Page @VHLM GM

Sad this phase of my VHL life is ending. Got some shoutouts for the boys: @Esso2264 - Thank you for always pressing forward through so much of the shit we took, and doing a great job rolling with all the punches the team took. It was an honor to play for you bud. @CowboyinAmerica @studentized - My S68 buddies, thanks for your continued efforts in building the great core our team has had throughout my career, it was a constant struggle but it would have been much tougher without you guys. @Elmebeck - Rest in peace. @TheFlash @rjfryman @Motzaburger @ColeMrtz - Thank you for coming onto the team more recently and helping us salvage this era of New York Americans hockey, I look forward to pushing for a cup with y'all one more time. All my other current and former New York teammates - Thanks for being here and making this place always feel welcoming amidst the ups and downs. @dlamb and the army of former New York AGMs - Thank you for all the great work you guys did/have done on the job, both for the team and for our master birb's sanity. @OrbitingDeath - Thank you for setting the bar high for our draft class and giving everybody someone to chase after. @Mr_Hatter - Thank you for being a great rival and a great member for the league. I look forward to watching the end of your Hall-of-Fame career. Let's go win a cup Americans! ARG out, Muffbeav in.

1. It's definitely been rough sledding lately for NYA, going 3-7-0 in our last 10. If you were GM, would you make changes or just wait for better results? We just gotta tough it out and hope to play better. 2a. If answering this before the Trade Deadline, what moves do you expect from the team? Team's kinda set where it is from a financial standpoint, if we're gonna win the cup this is the squad that's gonna make it happen. 3. The VHL draft is slowly sneaking up on us. Any prospects catch your eye? Quite a few. ? 4. The biggest surprise of the VHL season thus far is...? Helsinki's performance this season for sure, they've been on fire the last 30 games or so. 5. Theme week just passed, talking about future players/recreates. If you had to come up with a name for your recreate, what would it be? I went through quite an ordeal to not have to make that decision and after two polls ended in ties I ended up having to anyways. ? 6. The NHL playoffs are officially underway! Who are you cheering for? Go Devils! Oh wait, they suck, so I'll cheer for Chicago and Kirby With No Shoes.

controversial ?

And now, more importantly, E L B O W R E V E A L bein all pointy and cute and shit

GOD DAMMIT I CAN'T HANDLE ANOTHER TIE

y u alwes heyt mi

28 hours to get another 12 votes for elbow reveal

You scared me, but I checked and it does by 2 letters.

@Victor YOU FUCKING SARDINE

Earlier today I left the fate of my next player up to Discord, what with the theme week being on future players and all. Muffbeav took the first vote, then Thicc Nick took a close lead, before Aeschylus Jigglejawns CXXXIX started gaining some traction and the two most popular options ended in a tie. Thus, I am bringing this to the forums. Below, I'll outline the reasons for each name on this list (also, fuck you @JeffD and @Victor). Aeschylus Jigglejawns CXXXIX There are a few reasons I wanted to potentially use this one. First of all, it's a continuation of one of the best names I've come up with, Aeschylus Jigglejawns CXXXVII, and then after he failed, Aeschylus Jigglejawns CXXXVIII. Both players failed to eclipse 100 TPE, and I feel like I need to do the name justice; also, the Jigglejawnses are the only players I've ever created as outright defensemen, and my new player will be a defenseman. Thicc Nick I just thought this name was funny. Apparently people like it. Essence of Evgeni I've talked about this name in the discord a few times before, and how I think it's hilarious because it sounds like a fancy cologne but uses one of the funnier and less attractive-sounding names that would apply to hockey. No one else seems to find it as funny as I do though. Another idea was to go one name and do Evgenescence, a portmanteau of Evgeni and the band Evanescence, but not a lot of people saw the humor in that one either. Muffbeav The legendary emote after my heart, I would be honored to have a player take this on as their name. ---------------------------------------------------------------- So, who will my next player be? Vote above to decide!