.sniffuM

Finally finished this god damn sig. Here's the muffbeav hawaiian shirt render if anyone wants to use it for whatever reason:

S75 (transaction ID: 20431476519612850) 5 uncapped doubles week $1m store cash

@dasboot

Muffbeav is unquestionably the sexiest VHL prospect to ever come around, and all that sexiness goes straight to the Warsaw Predators thanks to the GM rule. When a prospect is given a label as monumental as sexiest ever, however, it is easy to lose sight on their game because you just can’t ignore the sexiness. Thus, we had to put on the top anti-sexy goggles on the market to be able to generate a true scouting report on the defenseman. This is what we found. Strengths Defense – Muffbeav is truly a defensive savant, showing excellent instincts and discipline in keeping everything in front of him and rarely finding himself out of position. He is always willing to sacrifice the body for the team, and from our observations, seems incapable of feeling pain, possibly because his body is 98% beard so he just has to make sure not to get hit in the mouth or arms. Scoring – Muffbeav displays forward-like instincts around the net, and has a roaring slapshot. He was one of the best goal-scoring defensemen in the VHLM this past season and should be able to give Warsaw a good scoring option on the back-end, presumably on the second line. Weaknesses Physicality – You would think the fusion of a beard and a flexing man would be able to lay the hurt on other people, but apparently this is not the case. Muffbeav’s general existence as a sentient beard seems to make him mostly pillowy and soft, significantly taking away from his ability to put guys on the ice. It also makes him difficult to hit, but if opponents can properly square Muffbeav up he goes down like a sack of hammers @Beaviss every time. Passing – When you watch Muffbeav play, it almost feels as if when the puck leaves his stick, it homes towards the net. This affects his passing greatly in that, if he isn’t passing towards the opposing net, the pass tends to be pretty far off. It remains to be seen if this really has an effect on his production at the VHL level; it didn’t seem to hamper him in the VHLM and other VHL players have been able to be successful in the past without much passing ability. Overview Muffbeav was able to score 31 goals in the VHLM for Yukon this past season, second among all defensemen, while his 78 points ranked sixth at his position. He also finished third among defensemen in shot percentage despite taking a high volume of shots (with one of the guys ahead of him in percentage taking only 41 shots to Muffbeav’s 249), so his future as a goalscorer is definitely bright. Overall, Muffbeav is more than just the sexiest VHL prospect to ever walk the earth; he is a legitimate, complete prospect on the blueline.

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom I can tell you I don't have money, but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you. 8/10

Tags actually count for -1 word as per the rules. @rory

Claim 4 of 4 (for week of Nov. 1st).

*Week ending November 7th* (Answer 6 questions for 2 TPE) 1. We were able to play very well in the Lottery Tournament, winning the whole thing. What can we do to carry that momentum into the new season? 2. Bigger surprise champion: Vancouver in the VHL or Miami in the VHLM? 3. Of all the finals series to go down over the past few weeks, real life or sim league, which was your favorite and why? 4. We were able to bring in Jeffrenomitsu The Third from Riga yesterday to bolster our ranks. Got anything to say to the new guy? 5. If any current NHL team were to join the VHL as the next North American Conference expansion team, which team would you want to see and why? 6. Riga now owns what feels like half of the Season 75 draft. What do you make of the deals they have been able to make to acquire such an albatross of draft capital? 7. What is the longest distance you ever ran without stopping? 8. Which two VHL teams do you believe have the best chance of being the best team in the league in three seasons? 9. What is the longest distance you ever walked without stopping? 10. If you could play with any player currently in the league that you have never played with, who would it be and why?

Thanks for the good talks hedge. Big welcome to my homie @Jeffie43!

@Caboose30

Claim 3 of 4.

1. Since the trade last week that brought in Latrell Mitchell and Willie Dredge the Preds have gone 6-8-1. Do you feel the team has improved with that trade? I think we've improved, 5-game losing streak be damned. 2. Speaking of trades, today is trade deadline! Do you feel that Warsaw will be involved in the market or keep quiet and why? (If it is passed the deadline why or why not were they active?) We put most of our eggs in the one basket with the Mitchell trade so we otherwise remained quiet. 3. Are there any trades that you think will or have happened that will or have shocked you? The way the cap is set up it makes sense that this was a quiet trade deadline. 4. With rosters being set after today going into the playoffs, who do you think will win the cup? I think Moscow has been lights out this year but it's always impossible to discount Seattle even without Rayz Funk on the team anymore. 5. How many more seasons before you think Warsaw is contending for a playoff spot and maybe being the team to add pieces at trade deadline? I think we can grow into contention pretty quickly, we do need to make some more moves to really bring ourselves there in my opinion though. 6. Warsaw has two players leading the rookie scoring race, Lamb with 60 and Grachev with 54. Do you think these two finish top in the league and if you had to choose between the two, who wins top rookie of the year? I definitely would love for them to maintain the top 2 spots, although John Merrick just shot past Grachev. I'd love to see one of our guys get the award, it's tough to pick between one of my boys but it looks like Lamb is more likely to win it right now.

@MattyIce Calgary has Warsaw's pick and we have Seattle's so Muffbeav will be a late 1st round pick.

We don't play by the rules!

We need Jericho and Noah too!

Claim 2 of 4.

So many Hall-of-Famers ?

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