FacePuncher

@Smarch approved

@The Bread Man gretz gets updated, i promptly score 4 goals and get 5 points total

@Smarch approved

Coming next week   

Was hoping this would be an article about our LR conversation haha

With the 13th overall pick, the Saskatoon Wild are proud to select....
 
LW Rudolph Schmeckeldorf!

See those pointy shoes? They're going right up yo ass!!

Come at me, my Russian build is no match for your weak Finnish body

"Comparatively to the NHL, it is similar to if Sidney Crosby, Alex Ovechkin, and Connor McDavid played together."
 

Bears Be Rollin'
 
At the beginning of Season 53, there were many questions regarding which teams would be the top ones. Now that we are just 6 games in, there is only one team that is currently undefeated. The Quebec City Meute and the New York Americans are both considered to be in competition for the Continental Cup this season, but it is currently the Seattle Bears who are on top. The Bears are 6-0-0, with 12 points, and with the most goals in the VHL with 29. Their differential is also best in the league, at +20, with only 9 goals allowed.
 
Over in the European Conference, the Helsinki Titans are holding the number one spot there, with a record of 5-1-0. They also have only 1 goal less than the Bears, with 28, which might be surprising to some. One of the cup favourites, the Stockholm Vikings, are holding a record of 3-3-0, alongside the Cologne Express.
 
Leading the league in scoring is none other than Seattle Bear, Bogdan Podarok, who many expect to have a career season in S53. He is currently tied with Unassisted, who continues to remain in the elite, similar to last season. There are four Seattle players in the Top 10 in the VHL, being Bogdan Podarok, Pietro Maximoff, Zach Parechkin, and defenseman Jeff Hamilton. This might have been somewhat expected of the Bears this season, who in the off-season brought in Pietro Maximoff, who tore the league apart in S52, and not only that, but brought in Zach Parechkin, who has plenty of accolades, and a goal scoring title in his career. Jeff Hamilton doing so well does not surprise as well, who is regarded as one of the best defensemen in the VHL today. Combining the three offensive threats in Maximoff, Podarok, and Parechkin has so far paid off, and will likely continue to do so this season.
 
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Those three players have been top players in the league on separate teams, and now together are very dangerous. Comparatively to the NHL, it is similar to if Sidney Crosby, Alex Ovechkin, and Connor McDavid played together. Talk about a stacked roster. Maybe you could swap out some of those NHL names for others, but either way you compare those VHLers to NHLers, you are going to come out with an All-Star lineup.
 
Not only that, but star defenseman Felipe Rodriguez has switched to center this season, and will be one of the best second line centers in the league in S53, all things considered. He has so far shown to have a goal scoring prowess with the most goals on the Seattle Bears, with 6 goals in 6 games. Not only that, but you cannot forget the Bears' #1 center in Sven Wolf, who has showcased a great two-way game, with 5 goals and 5 assists.
 
Their defensemen, Jeff Hamilton and Guntis Petenis have proven to be quite the duo as well. Petenis has 5 assists in 6 games, and while he is not known to be a great offensive threat, he has balanced out that pairing with Hamilton, bringing physicality. He has 29 hits so far, and is one of the highest hitters in the VHL so far. Obviously, as said, Jeff Hamilton continues to deliver offensively.
 
At the back end of the ice, elite goaltender Jakab Holik sits on top. Currently the most wins the VHL, and only second in save percentage with 0.926%, behind Apollo Skye's ridiculous .950%. Holik has the best goals against average in the VHL as well with 1.50GAA. Although, as far as shots against are concerned, he has allowed some of the least in the league, so there's that. Apollo Skye has had among the most shots against the VHL, so there's no doubt that the Quebec City goaltender is carrying the team.
 
Anyways, that's all I'm writing for now.
 
This PT is for Torstein Ironside, I guess. I might end up making an Ironside related PT for Parechkin. Lol.

In a couple seasons u'll be helping us kick Seattle's arse

Sorry I had to beat u guys like that

Hopefully more post rush week festivities. My friend got in so I should be able to tag along worry free now haha
 
Loving this whole tied for the league lead in points thing

Wayne Gretzky's triple-double against the Hartford Whalers, P.K. Subban's consecutive HR Streak for the Arkansas Chutterbugs and Jarome Iginla's hole-in-one against the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are regularly referred to as the three greatest achievements in all of hockey, but there's one streak that's threatening to make those terrific acheivements pale in comparison. 
 
Edwin Threencarnacion has not conceded a goal in 26 days
 
That's 624 hours without conceding a VHL Goal
 
That includes his performances in the World Cup
 
The last time Threencarnacion conceded a goal, Barack Obama was the president of the United States
 
He may only be in his second season as a VHL player, but it's these sorts of incredible statistics along with his other terrific acheivements (such as the highest career Save Percentage in VHL history along with the second best Save Percentage in a single season and the best Save Percentage in a single season by a rookie) that make Threencarnacion an undisputed lock for the VHL Hall of Fame. 

80-0-0 after playoffs

Party with me means we are both in bed at 1am. Or I´m in bed and you are on the couch, depends how the night goes 

Hey guys. This is gonna be filled with random stuff. Get ready!
 
Bagels are amazing. I fucking love bagels. Eating one right now, cinnamon raisin with cream cheese. Ooooooh.
 
World Cup is over. It was fun. Wanted gold but I'll settle for bronze and being the one's to end Europe's reign of terror! Podarok killed it, I should win top forward I think, maybe top player overall.
 
Politics in America make me want to punch people. Makes me glad I'm learning another language.
 
Weirdest shit happened today. I was having a dream with my friend in it, and then said friend came and woke me up to get dinner at Chipotle. I was so confused, man. 
 
My iPad is broken, and there's no good Android recording apps, so Real Talk with ADwyer is postponed sadly
 
I've decided that next time there's a big hockey event in Finland I want to go to it. Then maybe me and @jRuutu can go party at his university.
 
Ever since he led me to a first place showing in VHFL, @Frank has pretty much been bae
 
Speaking of which, I'm saying something I thought I would never say: I'm enjoying Quebec
 
Seattle LR is litttttttttt
 
@DollarAndADream and @Beketov making my fantasy team happy
 
Yukon is the only team I'm on with a loss currently. Way to go, @Streetlite
 
I'm posting in every game thread of Seattle, Quebec, Saskatoon, and Yukon. I'm going for top leader baby! Trying to be supah positive for my team and be a hype man. Also trying to actually interest myself in the VHL. Hopefully it works.
 
Sasky won both our games despite @Higgins trying to rig it against us.
 
It was my grandpa's birthday today
 
I need more alcohol
 
That is all

Hey guys. This is gonna be filled with random stuff. Get ready!
 
Bagels are amazing. I fucking love bagels. Eating one right now, cinnamon raisin with cream cheese. Ooooooh.
 
World Cup is over. It was fun. Wanted gold but I'll settle for bronze and being the one's to end Europe's reign of terror! Podarok killed it, I should win top forward I think, maybe top player overall.
 
Politics in America make me want to punch people. Makes me glad I'm learning another language.
 
Weirdest shit happened today. I was having a dream with my friend in it, and then said friend came and woke me up to get dinner at Chipotle. I was so confused, man. 
 
My iPad is broken, and there's no good Android recording apps, so Real Talk with ADwyer is postponed sadly
 
I've decided that next time there's a big hockey event in Finland I want to go to it. Then maybe me and @jRuutu can go party at his university.
 
Ever since he led me to a first place showing in VHFL, @Frank has pretty much been bae
 
Speaking of which, I'm saying something I thought I would never say: I'm enjoying Quebec
 
Seattle LR is litttttttttt
 
@DollarAndADream and @Beketov making my fantasy team happy
 
Yukon is the only team I'm on with a loss currently. Way to go, @Streetlite
 
I'm posting in every game thread of Seattle, Quebec, Saskatoon, and Yukon. I'm going for top leader baby! Trying to be supah positive for my team and be a hype man. Also trying to actually interest myself in the VHL. Hopefully it works.
 
Sasky won both our games despite @Higgins trying to rig it against us.
 
It was my grandpa's birthday today
 
I need more alcohol
 
That is all

K. Cole and these bots are carrying us

Butter for said bread

80-0-0 after playoffs

Advanced sports statistics. They are amazing and very important to me
 
Also video games. Dear Lord yisss
 
Also, @Frank

Blowjob scenes the best part, hater.

Ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy lmao