Gustav

@DilIsPickle Sign me up

So apparently I took 8 shots in this game and scored the last regulation goal of the season. I'll take it; I've officially rounded off a nice, very much improved, season. #fixthelottery

Shut up and get in the fryer.

Want to make some fried pickles? Check out this recipe. Alternatively, go wild in the comments here as we continue the roasting... Roast me. p.s saying stuff about my bot hurts the most. Go for it In the interest of good health, we'll be roasting, not frying, @DilIsPickle, but I won't stop you from going full-on fry mode here either. Tagging those who signed up here, with my usual statement-- to read the rules, or to sign up, click here. If you're tagged and don't want to be, or if you don't want to sign up but would like to be tagged in these threads anyway, let me know.

1) Take us through a bit of your strategy, back when you were a GM. What kinds of things did you do to build and improve your team over the years? With the league's recent overall improvement, in terms of activity, is any of this still relevant? 2) Tell us about being a commissioner in the VHLM. What would the average member be surprised to hear about your job? 3) Were you surprised to be named GM? Did you know anything about the league's plans to expand before it was announced? 4) If you could take any one player in the league in expansion, regardless of protected status or lack thereof, who would you pick and why?

"Time to worship Gustav" "Yeah Gustav sucks" Oh well, I didn't actually deserve any real worship anyway.

Finally, a nice 6-2 win over Moscow. Took long enough. #fixthelottery

Probably the best way to say this. Welcome back @boubabi! Here's hoping you'll be a great part of the league going forward.

Going to give this a listen in a bit. I better get the three minutes of worship I was promised.

Begin scene with a black screen. We hear, quite audibly and clearly, the sound of crinkling cellophane, and we might even hear the slightest hint of a few crumbs being rustled about the bottom of the bag. This noise persists for a few seconds, then continues at a slightly lower volume as a man's voice begins to be heard along with the cellophane. VOICE: Ah, God--shit. Dammit. Cut to a view from the inside of an empty bag of Cheetos. At first, all we see is a yellowed ceiling, in slightly washed-out light, which is then obstructed partially by a hand, fingers heavily coated in orange powder, making one final attempt at extricating the last bits of fried goodness. It's OK if the camera is jostled about a bit here; just not too much. The hand withdraws from the bag, which we see, still from the inside, being tipped up and emptied into the man's mouth. The camera comes out of the bag with the powder, falling towards the man's mouth with very little rotation, just enough that, as the shot quickly goes to slow motion, we manage to catch a small amount of light from the surrounding room at the edge of the screen before the camera falls into the man's mouth, visibly showing signs of poor dental hygiene, and the speed of the shot returns to normal. The man's mouth closes, and the screen once again cuts to black. Cut to a shot of a waste bucket in the corner of a room, and begin playing "All Star" by Smash Mouth. On the second syllable of "somebody," a bag of Cheetos, crushed into a ball, hits the rim of the bucket and bounces onto the floor, half out of the frame. "All Star" continues to play under the following. VOICE: Shit. We hear the creak of bedsprings, followed by a few footsteps, then the creak of a floorboard as the man's HAND, the same one as before, extends into the frame to pick up the bag. The bag is again thrown at the bucket, from a shorter distance, and hits the rim again, bouncing much closer to the bucket this time. Roll the following credits as the man walks into the frame, inaudibly mumbles a bit, picks up the bucket and smells its contents, and places the bag inside: VHL FILMS PRESENTS A GUSTAVMATTIAS PRODUCTION STARRING @Esso2264 THE ASTHMATIC ADVENTURES OF FORESKIN MAN "THE ASTHMATIC ADVENTURES OF FORESKIN MAN" remains on-screen as the MAN turns around. He is on the shorter side, heavy-set, with dark but slightly balding hair and a not-recently-trimmed beard. He seems to stare at nothing for a bit, then seems to look at the text on-screen. At this, he grabs the text out of the air and throws it to the top of the frame. It hits there, and sticks there after a slight rebound, with a crash, and at this, "All Star" immediately stops. The MAN looks directly into the camera. MAN: Yeah, that's right. Jesus. Foreskin Man? [gestures toward text; Cheeto dust still visible on fingers] Who the hell decided that would be a good name? Apparently somebody did, cause now I'm stuck with it. [The MAN shall now be known as FORESKIN MAN, or FM] Yeah, my name is Keven Foreskin. I don't know what kind of idiot decided on that. My parents decided to name me "Kevin," and in case that isn't bad enough, they went and spelled it wrong. And then, I'm stuck with the last name "Foreskin." Their last name is Adams; why can't I be Adams? Nope, I guess I'm Foreskin. My sister was Adams. My brother was Adams. And I'm not the favorite child. FM turns away, and begins to walk out of the frame to the left. The text on the top fades out. FM then suddenly turns back and looks at the camera again. FM: Oh yeah, and am I circumcised? That's none of your damn business. FM turns away again, and again begins to walk out of the frame. Resume play of "All Star." Cut to a view of FM's front door. The inside of the door is a slightly faded white, matching the color of the surrounding wall. There is an oval-shaped window on the door, with panes of glass, distorted enough to make out a general picture of the street but nothing more. FM enters the frame from the right, wearing a dark olive-green backpack with the straps just a bit too loose, opens the door, and walks out. As he is doing so, we notice that the outside of the door has recently been painted a dark red, and the doorknob on the outside is much nicer-looking than the one on the inside. We see a small, but not too small, front lawn, with neatly-cut grass and a sidewalk running by near the street. There is a walkway directly from the door out to the sidewalk, but off to the right we see the end of a driveway, but only the end. FM closes the door, and the shot remains on the door's window as we can tell that he is making his way down the walkway towards the sidewalk. FM reaches the sidewalk, and all at once, we hear screeching tires and a car can quickly be seen moving in FM's direction as he begins to attempt to jump out of the way. It is clear that FM has been hit by the car, but the screen cuts to black before that much is seen. Part 2 of possibly many coming up sometime.

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Indeed. Can we make that one official?

Oyez! I'm back in the thread with something else fairly unimportant, but it's something I'd like to annoy the BOG about anyway... Early on last season, one of our graphics guys, @No_Dangles, posted this logo in the Hounds locker room: As you can see, this is just the existing Hounds logo, just without the text. We agreed, just about unanimously, that this logo was superior to our existing one (throwing it in here for reference, with apologies for the image size): The logo without text also made its way into a sig or two, where we can see its placement on a hockey jersey and compare it to that of the logo with text: ...and here are, surprisingly, the only graphics I can find that include the logo with text (both, unfortunately and ironically, made by me and not that great)... I don't hate our existing logo. In fact, I'm fine with it. I just feel that, without text, it's a good deal better-looking, and if that's the case, then why not make it official?

Nothing against your opinion; you're allowed to have it. I'm simply expressing mine.

I see the words LOTTERY ABUSE IT COULD HAPPEN PEOPLE #fixthelottery

I mean...we outshot them I guess? What a weird game, getting shut down by β-CGY G1. #fixthelottery

Don't say that, @tfong will want a kpop sig.

Officially holding you accountable for this. Worship me boi

I'll listen but only if you worship me for 20 minutes.

Adding a few more recent ones...

I'm disappointed by the lack of a "whomst'd've"

Congrats to all those appointed! I'm confident you'll all do well.