Gustav

Use your BOG powers and make it happen.

You idiot. Who would ever say such a thing in a referendum?

With rumblings happening around the league, speculation has arisen that @Nykonax will be fired as GM of the Mexico City Kings. So, the question has arisen: should we fire Nyko? He didn't do anything wrong, we just feel like it. [Insert Members tag here]

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@Victor is that one kid who reminds the teacher that they forgot to assign homework.

How did I miss this, especially after Matt tagged me? Good work @Psyduck77

Nice hat trick by Davis--I'll concede that. Jerry gets a point and we still aren't that great, but next year we'll be in it I guess. #fixthelottery

I mean, can we just start Jaundice in every game against Seattle? I love Johnson but @Jus has shut them down lately. #fixthelottery

Malmo 3-1

Vancouver Riga Malmo Calgary

Claiming: 1 uncapped TPE for a VHL.com submission for theme week 1 uncapped TPE for completing both this submission and a media spot

The VHL has seen its share of growth in recent seasons, and that's absolutely an understatement. In this reporter's time in the league, there hasn't yet been a season without a VHL expansion, and the league shows little indication that the trend will slow. Expansion is a controversial topic, though--many are for it and many are against. We recently received the opportunity to sit down with those representing both sides of the issue, to gain deeper insight from both perspectives. Yesterday's announcement that the league is to expand by another two teams managed to pique the interest of deceased Italian mathematician Fibonacci, whose name should sound familiar to anyone who's paid attention in math class (or to any of those I'm-smarter-than-you-type people who like to memorize complicated-sounding information to show off, all of whom I despise without exception). Here's what he had to say when asked about the matter, after rising from the grave in a Halifax demon-summoning ritual gone wrong: Ah, yes, so prior to S65, the league was not expanding. Then, in that season, the league expanded by one team. In the season following, the league also expanded by one team. In the season following that, an expansion of two teams was observed. From the information available to us at this time, we can deduce that it is truly the Lord's will that the league expand by three teams next season, by five after that, then eight, then thirteen, then twenty-one, and so on. This is the league's time to rise. Not all members of the VHL community agree with the only interesting non-leaning-tower part of Pisa, though--resident doctor @Renomitsu had this to say when asked about the state of the league: After taking a look at the league's growth records, I've noticed a concerning trend, size-wise, if you will. The league has been steadily expanding for a while now, and has begun to expand more quickly most recently. If the league continues to follow its projected path, it will break right into "obese" status in no time. So, I'd say that the best option currently available is for the league to get up off the couch, cut back on the saturated fats, and start exercising, to keep that risk of heart disease down. Oh, and @Nykonax has lice, but we'll deal with that another time. And, since I straight-up suck at closing statements, Halifax players, coaches, and management declined to comment when inquired. Now give me my theme week TPE.

Neither does he.

Also posting to bookmark this. Will listen through tomorrow.

GREAT GAME FROM MY MAN JAUNDICE

Great two-way play from you-know-who here. Also great game from Johnson, holding it down in net against 51 shots. #fixthelottery

Congrats! Kid's got a good dad.

I've already claimed a media spot for this week, but let's hear it for EXPANSION TEAMS (pinging @Renomitsu and saying the word "defense" so we can reeeeeeeeee together)! The recent news that the league was expanding made me think two things--first, that I should congratulate Eno and d_a on their new roles (which I have, and will do again here, though I'd be willing to bet that they've been pinged enough lately), and second, that I'd lost the claim that, for my entire time on this site, I've only been affiliated with the most expansion-y of expansion teams. Before I kicked off the #fixthelottery campaign (will things ever change? I'm sorry, I know I need to cut back on the parenthetical remarks), I'd made my role "Expansion Team Guy," for that very reason, and took great pride in the fact that I'd never had anything to do with a team that wasn't the newest in its respective league. After hearing unconfirmed rumors that the VHL was expanding, I held out a bit of hope that I would be taking over a team in question, but (fortunately) kept myself grounded in the reality that that may not be the case. And, now that it's not, my streak has ended, and I'm here to tell you all about my wonderful time with teams of expansion status... Team 1: Houston Bulls The Bulls became my first-ever team back in S65 when I joined the league a day or two or three (or something like that) before the VHLM Dispersal Draft. I got on, asked not very many questions, and claimed welfare and practice facility, while also completing a press conference, to bring my grand TPE total to 38 by draft day. All in all, not the most encouraging to most teams, but at the very least I achieved "OK" status, or "at least he did something recently." The lack of standout production here likely led to Halifax, the one team that I knew through messages with management to be interested in picking me up, to try to let me go a bit farther down the board, a strategy that didn't work out wonderfully for them when I was picked up by the Bulls at 36th overall. I wished @Thranduil, who gave me the news, all the best, and assumed I was done with Halifax. How wrong I was... For a day or two after joining, I was pretty lost--I knew I was playing for an expansion team, I'd looked at a few of the resources in the Bulls forum group, and I thought any sort of work for just a couple TPE was too much to be worth my time...until one night, when I was up around 1:00 in the morning working through a nasty bit of work of the school assignment variety, and I decided to take a little time to do anything but work, and found myself opening up Discord for the first time to jump into the Bulls locker room. It was there that things really fell into place--I found the guide to earning TPE, and had conversations with a few people--I remember receiving my first of many unsolicited compliments from @GlowyGoat, and I thought @Sonnet was OK as well. It was also there that I decided to go the defensive defenseman route--@Radcow (come back Rad) decided that he'd build an offensive guy, and I wanted a build to complement it. I also decided to start writing my usual ridiculous VHL.com articles there, many about Halifax at the discretion (and encouragement) of Sonnet. The locker room in Houston was wonderful, and I'd say, though I never had the information at hand to properly determine, that it deserved to be in the running for "league's best locker room," as far as that season was concerned. I made quite a few friends there (you know who you are), and I still like to check on the guys I spent what seemed like every night hanging out with, the group that convinced me that this was a magical place. Team 2: Mississauga Hounds I was named Hounds GM back when I was in no locker room other than the Bulls' (I think? Not sure which came first, Mississauga or Malmo). I saw a hiring thread for three VHLM GM openings, and jumped at the chance, being the first to apply to any position. Within a couple days, I'd received a PM with a few interview questions, which I know I wrote a lot for and which I'm pretty sure I didn't answer incredibly well--but nonetheless, I was happy to learn that I'd been named GM of the Hounds, and more than a little surprised. There was quite a bit of luck there, too, as Thran got the Halifax job and @oilmandan was named GM of Las Vegas, both of whom, I believe, would have and should have gotten the last expansion job at the time had they still been in the running. I won't say I was in it to win it all last season, as I was dead set on not aggressively buying and wrecking the team's future in my first season. With that being said, though, I was at the very least in it to not suck, as I felt that being the new guy of the group might raise questions about my competency if indeed said sucking were to happen. I was lucky enough to steal my former teammate (and future league MVP!) Callum MacElroy from Houston in expansion, and I used a couple picks I got in the rest of the expansion draft to strike a deal with Ottawa and move up to #3 overall (a spot which I actually thought was #2 overall when I was making the deal, but ultimately it didn't matter). There, I was able to pick up goaltender Rayz Funk (@Rayzor_7), leader of the S67 draft class in TPE and current Minnesota Storm GM. The draft class as a whole was wonderful--we actually picked up two Funks, with the selection of steal-of-the-season Scott Greene (@DoktorFunk) coming in the 6th round, with great value and activity at many positions--Hulk Hogan (@HulkHogan) at the end of the second round, two-way sniper Cody Smith (@cody73) at the end of the third, and defensive forward Dan Gles (@No_Dangles) coming in the 4th. In fact, my first three draft choices became, by this season, either AGMs or GMs, with my best free agent signing, @berocka, becoming my own AGM this season. The locker room was once again absolutely wonderful--maybe it's just something about expansion teams that does it. I'd even call it better than Houston's the season before (sorry Sonnet), especially after @Banackock drunkenly (and mistakenly) wandered into the group one night, making one occasional "ya" lead to another and leading to just about the entire team being drafted to Seattle this season. I could not have asked for a better group, and seeing their continued success just makes me happier. Team 3: Malmo Nighthawks My first indication that I might be heading to Malmo came before the VHL draft, when @Advantage sent out the customary "hey, how would you feel about playing for me?" message. While I quickly learned that he scouts every eligible player, and that this meant nothing, I got a bit of a better idea when I took the liberty of messaging him prior to the VHLM Expansion Draft. You see, goaltender Owen May, who was also left unprotected by Houston, was at the time under 200 TPE, and, to the best of my knowledge, planning on staying down (I was wrong; he went up). Quite a few mock drafts had May going to Malmo--after all, he was a solid prospect, and the top goalie of the draft class. So, I inquired about whether or not, if May were selected by Malmo, he would be called up. I got the answer that I needed (and to that I'll say that ADV is very respectful of the wishes of others), but with that was also told that Garcia, not May, was near the top of the Malmo draft board. All this came true when I was FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY by Davos (just kidding, Paddywagon was a solid pick too) and Garcia became available at #7 for the Nighthawks. The locker room was a bit different, I'd say--everyone had been through the VHLM, so the team was lacking a sort of "let's figure this out together" mindset that's widely seen among first-gen players in the VHLM. We were, and are, active, though--the team gets along wonderfully and there's no place I'd rather be in the VHL. I can't speak for Advantage's management strategy, but he certainly filled me in on a lot, as well as giving me a good deal of help with the beginnings of VHLM management, for which I am ever grateful. Easily the best part of playing for a VHL expansion team, though, is the fact that I was getting all the ice time I could right out of the gate, and as I improve, this continues to be the case. No getting buried behind 800-TPE linemates for a few seasons, no riding the bench on the power play and penalty kill, and definitely no shortage of opportunities to play defense (OK, this means the team wasn't great, but it absolutely gives a defensive player a good chance to show off). All in all, yeah, that does it. I hope anyone placed on either of the league's new expansion teams has an experience comparable to the above, because, let me tell you, I don't regret having been Expansion Team Guy for a second. 1,607 words; maybe I'll claim it for the next two weeks, maybe I won't. Might write something huge next week so as to jump back into school with a lot banked and ready to go. For now, though--claiming for the all-powerful THEME WEEK.

Nuuk Nukes let's gooooooo

This would lead to some people knocking themselves out, specifically to write articles thousands of words long. Not saying we don't have those people already (and I'm one occasionally) but I feel that it might end up opening up a can of worms if it's turned into a contest. Imagine the drama too.

Week 3, if you've seen the previous thread this should be self-explanatory. This week we're going for a long-time vet, and I hope we can make him finally show some sort of emotion. Come at me. Find my deets in the sig. This league was named after me before I even joined it. We're roasting @Victor. давай сделаем это. Throwing in the words "Cast" and "Moscow" here; Victor knows why. Also going to tag those who signed up here, with my usual statement-- to read the rules, or to sign up, click here. If you're tagged and don't want to be, or if you don't want to sign up but would like to be tagged in these threads anyway, let me know.

Smh, FISTED ANALLY BY A CIRCUS MONKEY in this article too.

ISTANBUL WAS CONSTANTINOPLE NOW IT'S ISTANBUL NOT CONSTANTINOPLE BEEN A LONG TIME Gone Constantinople now it's turkish delight on a moonlit night