Gustav

Again to the Wild? At least we're better than Philly.

Nice, thank you.

Oh hey I'm here too! I hope we don't play Asia so I don't have to root against my own player.

Fixed! Sorry, your player was on the eligibility sheet. They're all 30-TPE players at this point anyway; we're not very deep.

PLEASE DISREGARD THIS ROSTER. CHANGES HAVE BEEN MADE. SEE OUR "NEW AND IMPROVED" ROSTER FOR UP-TO-DATE INFO. Forwards: 1. Matthew Kai (@FBR) Viktor Kozlov (@Kuch9) Dimitri Volosenkov (@SirRupertBarnes) 2. Valeri Morozov (@Dangles13) Raphael Nazarians (@LIL V O D AK) Chico Smeb (@xDParK) 3. Zhang Shou Tian (@ZST) Asim Nazir (@Asim Nazir) Bob Liu (@ziggyziobob) Defensemen: 1. Evgeni Komarov (@Gooningitup) Cody Parkey (@SaltyTalty) 2. Bald Guy (@Galdoblame) Srraxxarrakex II (@flan) 3. Hiromu Takahashi (@O4L) Londortharl (@MattyG) Goalies: 1. Evgeny Rapinsky (@Bonaventure) 2. Vijay Patel (@Vijay Patel) Captains: Captain: Evgeni Komarov (@Gooningitup) Alternate Captains: Bald Guy (@Galdoblame) and Matthew Kai (@FBR) Please feel free to contact me with anything relating to the tournament. Edit: Discord server is up and running. Message me if I forget your player. EDIT 2 (IMPORTANT): This roster is NOT final. Many players here are inactive and present little or no value to this team. If you are active, you have nothing to worry about. You will not be removed from this team. However, Team Asia is in better shape than we previously thought. We are now able to admit players who have not made the Team World roster, making us able to round out our roster with something other than 30-TPE players who have not opened this site since creating their player.

HOUSTON--As we all know, Texas is a very Republican state. ...which makes it a perfect perennial landing spot for right-wing commentator Ben Shapiro, who visited Houston's Toyota Center Friday night for one of his often-controversial, trademark speeches. It was filled with all the usual: the LIBTARD FEMINIST being RIPPED TO SHREDS and the LEFTIST PROFESSOR LEFT SPEECHLESS by Shapiro's LOGIC and FACTS. Though political matters occupied much of the discussion here, Shapiro took some time to address a question on his opinion on the VHLM, which has, as of this season, moved into Houston through expansion and gained a particularly strong following in a remarkably short time. "Now you know what I like about hockey? All these white guys beating each other up. All this white-on-white violence really helps destroy the myth of white male privilege," said Shapiro, to thunderous cheers from his predominantly conservative audience. "And it's great that our two new teams are American. It's great that we're taking back hockey as the all-American sport that it is. I mean, who needs Canada for anything anyway? ...Justin Trudeau? More like Justin Tru-don't." And it didn't stop there. Shapiro proceeded to rip into the city of Halifax, and their first-place team, the 21st, who have been the source of ridicule from many a Houston supporter with numerous preseason (and in-season) stories and comments from multiple Houston players regarding potentially illicit practices on the part of the team. "When I think of Halifax," said Shapiro, "you know what I picture? Nobody's walking around with a gun. Illegal aliens everywhere. No bald eagles dropping American flags on liberals. Just socialists with taxpayer-funded healthcare and no economy. I went to Halifax last week and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was living there. That's right, Houston: she's Canadian and ready to take over." When asked what, in particular, he disliked about the city of Halifax, Shapiro had a ready answer. "You know what I don't trust about Halifax? It's so far east. It's way out in the Atlantic Ocean, way out close to Europe. And you know what you find in Europe? Libtards and socialism. Imagine the peso becoming the official currency for all of North America. Imagine the USA being responsible for all the Mexicans. We wouldn't have President Trump to build us the wall because we'd have so much liberal influence over our country's wonderful leadership. That's what the European Union is, just a bunch of liberals letting Greece go down the drain. Halifax is so close to Europe that you could stand in Ireland and scream across the ocean and they'd hear you in Halifax. That's why I don't trust that city. If you go to Ireland you'll find a flock of liberals on all the beaches screaming across the water. That's what they're doing. They're using their liberal influence on Canada through Halifax. That's why I'm not a fan of the 21st. When I went to Halifax last week, I could just hear screaming libtards in the air and it took all my all-American patriotism to fight it off. But here I am, Houston, destroying those libtards, and here I will stay." Shapiro stood there in the Toyota Center for the next four and a half hours, destroying libtards whether the questions he received asked for it or not. *Possibly an obligatory disclaimer: the above does not reflect any political opinion of mine in any way, nor is it intended to promote any sort of political belief or ideology. I could be far-right, far-left, or anywhere in between, and what's important at the end of the day is that the VHL is a place where anyone who loves their hockey can come together and talk about it and have themselves a bit of fun, regardless of political belief or background. Please do not take this as any sort of endorsement for either side.

Let's go Team Asia! Many thanks to anyone at all who considered me for this position--I can say I'm very surprised and excited that I'm here. When are rosters due and how do I submit them?

Overtime loss? Still took them to overtime. Points are what matter and at least we went down swinging.

Nice win against a decent team. Don't count Houston out.

"Anyway, here's Wonderwall," said Halifax GM Anthony Rogers, pulling an acoustic guitar out from under his desk. The press let him get halfway through the first verse before politely informing him that the press conference was, in fact, not over, and that it would be nice, so very nice, if he could give the time to answer a few more questions about his team, the Halifax 21st, currently (and suspiciously) atop the VHLM standings behind some admittedly (though, again, suspiciously) stellar play from a few star players and the team as a whole. The conference got under way again, and ran smoothly until Rogers was asked for his opinion on the VHLM's two expansion franchises: the Houston Bulls and Philadelphia Reapers. At the mention of these names, Rogers showed no reaction whatsoever and asked the reporter to repeat himself. When he did, Rogers' response was a simple "I don't know what you're talking about." The 21st's response, or rather lack thereof, to negative anecdotes from Houston's players could certainly be explained by the situation at hand, as Rogers seemed to have no idea that the Bulls (or the Reapers) even existed in the first place, even after having played both. "So that's where Kozlov went," said Rogers, looking over Houston's roster and noticing Viktor Kozlov, a physical forward previously owned by the 21st and the lone player to be selected in this season's VHLM Expansion Draft. "Garcia, too. When the last round in this draft came up we looked for him, but he just wasn't there. I thought he just quit or something." Various Halifax players could not be reached for further comments or reactions. (@McWolf I did it)

2 points each from Kirbsson and Jurri. After Jurri's hot start sort of died down the fine folks around the league stopped hearing about him as much but he's kept the numbers rolling.

Looking at this map, every team seems to be concentrated in the same general region: Southern Canada or any part of the United States. Except, well, the Yukon Rush. The Rush are located in the center of Canada's northwestern province of Yukon, which I didn't even know existed until I looked at this map. Actually, I thought Yukon was in the middle of Alaska, but whatever. Upon further review, the placement of the Rush logo on this map seems to place the team in the village of Mayo (population about 200), located in the center of the province. While some have dismissed the idea of having a team in the middle of Canadian nowhere as ridiculous, it is my opinion that the farthest reaches of the Western Hemisphere's geography are among the most fascinating regions of the world--undisturbed by man and a true spectacle of nature. Because of this, it is my suggestion that VHLM higher-ups consider the placement of another team in a remote area of the far north. Not in Canada, not in Alaska, but an area not even part of this map. How about...Greenland? Yes, people actually live there. Over 55,000 people, in fact. Though this is, not surprisingly, a low density for the world's largest island (actually, if you want to get technical with things, it's three islands under the ice sheet), it still has its population centers, most of which are concentrated in the Western half (if I wanted to get really remote with things, I'd put a team in Scoresbysund, a village of 492 people in the Eastern part of Greenland, surrounded by absolutely nothing in all directions). These centers, in fact, include a capital: Nuuk. Nuuk actually manages to make the Yukon village of Mayo look like the small village it is--home to over 17,000 people, it is, in fact, larger than my own hometown. It has an airport, a university, and it's home to the government of Greenland, a constitutional monarchy led by Queen Margarethe II since 1972. As the (actual) site of the first discovery of land in the Western Hemisphere, Greenland deserves all the historical recognition it can get, and what better way to accomplish this than by putting it on the map as the home of a professional hockey team in a league that many follow intently? Because of this, I see no greater alternative than to say... ...Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...the Nuuk Nukes. Edit: @oilmandan I started this reply before seeing your idea for the Chernobyl Nukes. I came up with this on my own, I swear--I would never copy someone else's idea and pass it off as my own. The best of luck to both of us. Edit #2: ...and here's definitive proof that I have indeed thought of this name beforehand--I actually talked about it in my first VHLM player press conference, back on February 25th! Going to tag @Banackock here to clear my name and also tag @oilmandan again because I hope everything's all cool between us. I am not in any way trying to say that he stole my name, and it is my opinion that he most certainly did not; I just want to make it perfectly clear to everyone that I ABSOLUTELY did not see his post and decide to piggyback on it. *Disclaimer: the above logo is not my own work. It is in fact something I found on Clipart Library, a royalty-free online image collection, and as such still may be used as a logo for a VHLM team. I wish I could design a logo; however, I am not only not at all artistically inclined, but even less artistically inclined in terms of digital art programs, with which I am entirely unfamiliar. I hope you at least like the team name.

I understand I'm a long shot for anything at all, but: -Garcia is American, so USA is my first choice. -However it would be an honor to be considered for anything at all.

I think Halifax has been spiking their pregame incense. The ultimate proof? Their Buefordsson effigy burned particularly quickly during pregame. Something's going on here. ...as a side note, Garcia/Buefordsson/MacElroy combined for a goal yet again. The force is quite strong with these three against Halifax.

Houston's either winning everything or losing everything lately...unfortunately this is the worse end of that deal. Nice 2-point game by Kozlov though, he's a wonderful prospect who's quite underrated because he's a defensive forward rather than a goal scorer. Fairly unknown as far as 200-TPE players go.

Beau Buefordsson gets his first career goal shorthanded! Nice to see this. Maybe one day he'll score against Halifax.

Great game by MacElroy! It's quite safe to say that the Bulls are legitimate contenders.

Jerry Garcia putting up the offensive AND defensive numbers lately! I love it so much. Top 10 in the league in both hits and shots blocked, and hovering in the top 5 some days. Exceeds expectations for a 5th round pick, I'd say.

I hope you know I'm going to write this when I have space under the TPE cap to do so.

Breaking: Halifax GM Doesn't Seem to Have Read Any of Houston's Articles This Season, Thinks Players Don't Know His Team Exists

Go Hooston. Cannae wait tae win agin

HOUSTON--the Bulls came into Halifax on Saturday knowing that they would need to prove themselves worthy and come away with a win in order to show that they were legitimate contenders for a rivalry with the first-place 21st. After a Halifax pregame ritual for the ages (read more in vhl.com articles), game 69 of the VHLM regular season (nice) was under way, with Halifax taking a 2-1 lead over the arguably rattled Bulls through the first period, with defensive players and players on the lower lines, such as Charles Alderson and Fudge Popsicle, finding the score sheet while Houston's dominant top scoring line (Maximilian Kirbsson, Kari Jurri, and Victor Kozlov) providing the scoring for the Bulls. The second period saw the script flipped a bit, with Kirbsson scoring from Jurri and Kozlov yet again and defenseman Samuel Sparrow also finding the net, this time from third-liners Joakim Sederstrom and Rhys Chism. The Bulls were out to a 3-2 lead at this point, but Halifax tied it up again as Rhye Tyr scored on the power play just over 2 minutes into the third period. About 7 minutes into the third, though, the fate of the game was ultimately decided. Houston forward Ludvig Sederstrom won a faceoff and the puck was knocked back to defenseman Jerry Garcia. He was checked off the puck, but it found its way to Garcia's defensive partner, Beau Buefordsson, and Houston maintained possession. From here, Buefordsson passed to Scotsman Callum MacElroy, who took the shot but had it blocked by Halifax's Anton Edvin. After caroming off of Edvin, the puck leaked back to the point, where Garcia unloaded a blast into the back of the net for Houston's game-winner. So why was this goal, and this game, so special? Well, first of all, look at the players with assists: MacElroy, whose drunken rants about Halifax have become league-wide news, and Buefordsson, who on his last visit to Halifax was deported before he got out of the airport. But Garcia? "I think all of us have some sort of issue with Halifax," said Garcia, who had before been fairly reserved on the topic of this season's newly-established rivalry between the two teams. "Back before the draft, I was actually contacted by Halifax twice. I'd only been registered for the draft for a day or two at that point, and I thought it was pretty neat that anyone at all was interested in me. I think they thought of me as a last-round selection, though, because I wasn't picked by them even when a few players around my level started to come off the board. I wanted to go to Halifax before the draft, but Houston has now shown me that this is where I am actually wanted." And wanted he is indeed in Houston. Upon the Bulls' arrival back home this morning, they were greeted with a parade, along with a rally in their arena, with Garcia front and center. Streets were packed with Bulls supporters waving anti-Halifax signs, Houston radio stations played the Bulls' goal song, "Horns Up," on repeat, and billboards with Garcia's face can currently be seen around the city. "Not only am I a defenseman, but I have a very defensive style," said Garcia on his goal during the rally. "So it's really a surprise that I've scored at all this season. But I think that wanting to beat Halifax as much as I do gave me that extra bit of energy I needed to put that puck in the net." When asked how the Bulls plan to use their strong following and momentum in the games to come, Garcia proclaimed, "Let's get that cup!" Based on Houston's strong play thus far, this doesn't look like a far-off dream.

The Houston Bulls and Halifax 21st finally met on Saturday, after a good deal of hype as many Houston players came forward to document their unpleasant experiences with not only the 21st but the city of Halifax in general. Any viewer of this game would have expected a hard, physical, competitive matchup, with both sides doing all they could to put the other in their place. But all expectations fell short of what ultimately happened during the pregame warmup in Halifax that night. Five minutes in, the lights in the arena shut off, and thick clouds of incense descended from the Halifax general managers' private box. Somebody down on the ice struck a match, and a scarecrow wearing Beau Buefordsson's #42 Houston Jersey was burned at the stake while Halifax players skated around it. By some Houston players' accounts, they were singing the Halo theme song. "I know the Halo theme song has gotten to be a bit of a joke lately on the Internet," said Buefordsson, who had to be disguised to get through security at Halifax Stanfield International Airport, "But it was scary. I took it as a bit of a threat; I didn't know whether this was normal Halifax behavior or if they were trying to send some sort of message or what." For the record, it didn't work--Halifax lost 4-3 on a third-period goal by Buefordsson's linemate, defenseman Jerry Garcia, who Halifax famously considered in the draft but let slip into the 5th round, where he was ultimately picked up by Houston. Halifax players, coaches, and management collectively avoided the topic during postgame interviews.

Three Houston players in the top 10, including #1 and #2! Founders Cup here we come.

You know it. ...Good game though