DoktorFunk

Dude 😔
.. .. not even a mention aside from being “a user being brought back to the fold”. That’s cold. 😢

CHIP STONE SCOUTING REPORT
 
 

 
 
 
Chip Stone spent his first season in professional hockey playing with the Ottawa Lynx. Displaying a decent scoring touch and having improved throughout the season, Chip Stone displays an incredibly quick shot and a propensity for getting open for his teammates to one time a shot past the goaltender. A strong skater and decently defensively minded, Stone is attempting to develop a two-way game where he will be a scoring threat and also provide for the team defensively on the ice.
 
Strengths
Scoring: Stone possesses an incredible shot, both wrist shot and slap shot. He loves to shoot. He had 22 goals and 19 assists in his VHLM season with the Ottawa Lynx, so he clearly has a shoot first mentality. 
Penalty Shot: Stone is a master in the shootout and an incredible penalty shooter. Dominant at the minor league level and amateur level, Stone has a peerless creativity when it comes to shooting one-on-one with the goaltender. 
Strength: Chip Stone is very strong, and he’s only getting stronger. Deceptively buff for his size, Stone has little difficulty battling for the puck.
 
Weaknesses
Checking: Stone is not a checking forward. He dislikes using his body and will need to overcome this in order to develop his two-way game as desired. Giving the players on the opposing team too much space makes it easier for them to score and doesn’t make Stone intimidating to the other team. 
Leadership: Stone is more of a follower, rather than a leader. He likes to be managed and coached by his teammates and prefers to defer to them for tips and strategies. He will need to take initiative if he wants to be captain some day. 
 
Stone does seem to be afraid of using his body to finish check. He is not a very physical forward, and doesn’t like to use his strength, even though he is quite strong in comparison to other players his age. Stone is also not the fastest accelerating skater, although he has a decent top speed when he gets going. Judging by his first season in the VHLM, Stone seems to be on track to be a competent offensive threat. He tallied 22 goals and 19 assists for 41 points. He has a shoot first mentality and, if he can improve his skating and learn to use his body, while continuing to develop his two-way game, Chip Stone looks like he could be a dominant player for years to come. 

I'm happy to say that I'm starting to get happy with my new player, Chip Stone. He was a little disappointing, but I'm pretty sure that's just how it goes with rookie players on Seattle. Bana seems to like when you can have a roster of people constantly flowing in and won't give ice time to players that aren't ready. Chip Stone is ready. He's coming close to a point per game and I couldn't be happier. I'm so excited to see how the team does. 
 
The podcast has been going well. Sorry we've been a little inconsistent. MY schedule is incredibly hard to predict and I have commitments that make me money that I'd prefer to do, as well as a girlfriend that I'd prefer to do. But I would like to be more consistent with it and that's something that we're looking to accomplish. Anyway, thanks for listening to my ramblings!

I'm happy to say that I'm starting to get happy with my new player, Chip Stone. He was a little disappointing, but I'm pretty sure that's just how it goes with rookie players on Seattle. Bana seems to like when you can have a roster of people constantly flowing in and won't give ice time to players that aren't ready. Chip Stone is ready. He's coming close to a point per game and I couldn't be happier. I'm so excited to see how the team does. 
 
The podcast has been going well. Sorry we've been a little inconsistent. MY schedule is incredibly hard to predict and I have commitments that make me money that I'd prefer to do, as well as a girlfriend that I'd prefer to do. But I would like to be more consistent with it and that's something that we're looking to accomplish. Anyway, thanks for listening to my ramblings!

**LISTENER WARNING**
**Contains use of strong language, listener discretion is advised**
 
 
 
..sorry for being so delayed 🙏🏻😅 we recorded last Sunday than I got sick af, we will be recording a better episode soon so stay tuned!
 
 
Time Stamps
 
Intro 
01:19 - 02:50
 
Segment 1: Post-Draft Review
02:50 - 28:25
 
Segment 2: Bobo’s VHLE Draft Grades
28:25 - 50:50
 
Segment 3: Pre-Season Predictions
50:50 - 1:00:25
 
Outro
1:00:25 - 1:01:18
 
 
🎵Happy listening!🎵
-DarkSpyro

“Next we have Chip Stone, which is @DoktorFunk’s player.. 4 time..? 3 time..? 4 time cup winner? Idk, he’s better than you. 🫵“

Yesssss brother~ 🤌🏻
@Hogan this is the greatest thing I’ve heard about my guy in a while- respect! ✊🏻😂 

Lots of stat padding on MIS this year.

S E A T T L E  B E A R S  S 8 6  C A P T A I N S  

 
A S S I S T A N T  # 1
Florida Man - @zepheter
 
A S S I S T A N T  # 2
Tavish DeGroot - @rory
 
C A P T A I N
Hulk Hogan 2 - @Hogan
 
We started rebuilding at the start of this off-season and quickly got to work. Sold off a bunch, gained a lot of picks and then were fortunate enough to make some magic happen in Free Agency. I'm really happy of the off-season we had and the commitment we got from members outside of the team to join us. @zepheter has always been huge for the Bears.. he's always on our side even when he's not.. @rory I wasn't sure if he'd join but the talks were okay and it led to us joining forces together. I appreciate him burying the hatchet. He's been an amazing asset and leader in the locker room and I am honestly so happy he took the chance on us.
 
Then there is @Hogan
 
Hogan been a Bear since before y'all were cubs
Lifting up the cups and collecting them big dubs (W, W, W)
There is no man that's stronger,
No Bear has been here longer,
He the heavy weight CHAMP CHAMP CHAMP
 
Now he the Bear Captain
The league like "what the fucking happening?"
Hulkamania here to bring pain,
HULK HOGAN WILL BE CHAMP AGAIN ONE DAY
 
 

Thanks,
B

54. How good Yaroslav Bogatyrev is
55. Rebuild looks to be going well! If we get a C sorted that would be great
56. Dashboard Confessional
57. I've never celebrated thanksgiving so idk what to serve
58. Emergency exit row to fit my legs in
59. Farm TPE like a madman.

54. Maybe some more general questions, I found when I used to do PCs it wasn't always great to focus on current team events. More general questions make it easier to answer if somebody is doing the PC a bit late.
55. It really depends on this FA class, the bears have a lot of picks and could make something big happen there too. Bana's always been great at that kind of stuff so I don't expect a bad season at all.
56. Whole team is lining up for a rod stewart concert baby.
57. Thanksgiving was last month, but ill serve them a couple of knuckle sandwhiches.
58. Nobody, gotta get all the room you can brother.
59. Nope. grind and get better as always.

1. Hard to say since it does need to stay focused on the VHL for the most part right? I guess fun locations to expand to and such.
2. Maybe a slight step down? Nothing to major though, the team still seems really strong.
3. Three Days Grace or Eminem
4. The standard turkey and mash potatoes with gravy.
5. Well if he was still here Sigard, but I'll say Dusty instead.
6. Nope!! Just keep grinding away and be ready for Ori's last season!!

1. Well, I guess we would've needed to tighten our offense, but we didnt.
2. Doesn't matter to me. Probably a goalie unless somebody puts up at least 27 points.
44. Warsaw again, they're still a really good team and could go all the way.
45. The whole team kinda started to slip in the last 20-30 games of the season. It wasn't surprising to see us lose.
46. I guess I was really late on these questions, but it's hard to change up our lines a ton with our lack of a 6th forward. I couldve moved to the second line but I'm  not sure what that would've done.
47. I don't think so, youre kinda his bitch now.

I’m not sure what happened with the Hounds, but I’m assuming a GM traded away all their picks at some point

Won't someone PLEASE think of the children?
 
https://anchor.fm/doktor-funk/episodes/Doktors-Office-11422-e1q89m5

Top 4 Season 86 Goalie Prospects:
Fuuka Rask @Jubis (335 TPE) Ranked #4
Joel Castle @animal74 (311 TPE) Ranked #5
Lachlan Summers @kirbithan (295 TPE) Ranked #6
Ash Sparks @DarkSpyro (275 TPE) Ranked #9
 

 
With 4 goalies in the top 9 in total TPE, teams later in the draft could see a goalie fall to them. Especially with Seattle owning 4 of the top 8 picks. The only teams selecting in the first round are Riga, Seattle, Helsinki, Toronto, London, Vancouver, Davos, Calgary, Moscow and D.C.. Of those teams only Seattle, Helsinki, Toronto and Davos are in dire need of franchise or bona fide number 1 goalie prospect. I predict where each goalie goes in the draft: 
 
3rd Overall Pick - Fuuka Rask @Jubis 
After Seattle passes on a goalie at 2nd overall and opts to draft @Bojovnik. Helsinki wastes no time in selecting the top ranked goalie in Rask. After Helsinki dealt Xavier Booberry to Davos at the deadline they are now in need for cornerstone between the pipes. I could also see them waiting until #9 to see who falls. But I'm not sure if @Rayzor_7 is willing to take that risk when he has a sure thing in Jubis' player. 
 
5th Overall Pick - Joel Castle @animal74 
With @Agito seemingly taking the reigns from @Doomsday for the time being and quietly shopping his own player Jeremy Swayman. I believe Toronto will take BPA and draft a replacement for Lindbergh. Joel Castle looks to be a number 1 goalie in the VHL quite easily so this would be a safe pick for Toronto and fill a positional need going forward if Swayman can't fill Lindbergh's shoes in a couple seasons. 
 
8th Overall PIck - Ash Sparks @DarkSpyro 
Spyro has a history with @Banackock and current player Chip Stone @DoktorFunk so Seattle opting not to select him would be surprising as their next pick is 21 and a goalie with 250+ tpe likely doesn't fall that far. 
 
12 Overall Pick - Lachlan Summers @kirbithan 
Probably a lot later then this player deserves to go and I'm an old man, so what do I know? Summers has been one of the best first gens in this draft class and likely has the highest upside of any goalie in this draft. If not for the Seattle connection with Spyro I could easily see them landing there. Unfortunately not many teams need goalies right now so I can see at least one if not two falling to this spot. Davos takes BPA and has a surefire replacement for Booberry when he ultimately retires in a few seasons. I don't think @Alex would be able to pass up a goalie of this caliber at this spot in the draft. 
 
 
This is the part where those who are tagged can tell me I'm OTL. 
 Hopefully everyone has a killer draft tomorrow. 
 

1. San Jose Sharks, on their current roster Timo Meier or Tomas Hurtl.
2. Having spent a whole career there the Toronto Legion, long suffering franchise.
3. I really don't know, don't pay enough attention to see who is talked about all the time.
4. Moscow loose in the finals again?
5. Pizza, just pizza.
6. No, never am.

**LISTENER WARNING**
**Contains use of strong language, listener discretion is advised**
 
 
Time Stamps
 
Intro (Dok&Spyro Update)
01:21 - 10:21
 
Segment 1: VHL Playoffs
10:22 - 14:32
 
Segment 2: VHLM Playoffs
14:33 - 29:27
 
Segment 3: Heavenly 7 Saga
29:28 - 48:41
 
Segment 4: Draft Preview
48:42 - 57:27
 
Outro + BONUS (LIVE reaction to Sunday’s games)
57:28 - 1:00:38
 
 
🎶📻Happy listening!📻🎶
-DarkSpyro 🔥⚡️

WOW, could you BE any more upset?? 😂😂😅
 
Everyone look how unreasonable this dude is behaving!

Go Chicago!! Good games honestly 

The VHL world was shocked today when Chip Stone took to the press conference table and made some shocking remarks. When asked whether Chicago was his ideal matchup or if he would've preferred Vancouver, Stone said "Vancouver deez nuts." The reporters were shocked, and asking whether DC was the favored opponent, Stone replied "DC? More like C Deez Nuts." The reporter, visibly shocked, asked Stone how he could be so immature. Stone then asked the reporter "Do you like pudding?" The reporter said yes and Stone snapped "Pudding deez nuts in your mouth?" This behavior has landed Stone a banning from press conferences for life. When asked about his harrowing experience, reporter Harold Woodcock for the Seattle Hard Times had this to say: "That wasn't funny. That's just immature. My wife Ima and I have had to suffer through that kind of trauma our whole lives. Even our children Richard and Mai will have to. It's just a terrible example for the children."

The VHL world was shocked today when Chip Stone took to the press conference table and made some shocking remarks. When asked whether Chicago was his ideal matchup or if he would've preferred Vancouver, Stone said "Vancouver deez nuts." The reporters were shocked, and asking whether DC was the favored opponent, Stone replied "DC? More like C Deez Nuts." The reporter, visibly shocked, asked Stone how he could be so immature. Stone then asked the reporter "Do you like pudding?" The reporter said yes and Stone snapped "Pudding deez nuts in your mouth?" This behavior has landed Stone a banning from press conferences for life. When asked about his harrowing experience, reporter Harold Woodcock for the Seattle Hard Times had this to say: "That wasn't funny. That's just immature. My wife Ima and I have had to suffer through that kind of trauma our whole lives. Even our children Richard and Mai will have to. It's just a terrible example for the children."

I agree that Top Prospects is preferable. Also I appreciate that the microphone occasionally became a stethoscope, very on brand.

Incoming Dok horror ASMR podcast it seems like