tcookie

perfect 😂

Don't worry lol i will edit it

i can't wait to recreate as MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Hello and welcome to one of my most unhinged projects yet. I have scoured through the VHL archives to identify every single instance of a repeated last name in history, the sole criterion being that the players made it to the VHL (i.e. VHLM and/or VHLE lifers are excluded). This also means that whilst the list includes all active VHL players as of S92, it doesn't include anyone who is about to come up to the big leagues or has announced their draft eligibility.
 
268 repeat last names were identified throughout VHL history and then sorted to identify the most common last name in the VHL's storied past. But since the work was done to identify each name, I will make it a countdown from names used twice all the way to the all-time leader at 12. Behold.
 
 
Names used 2x in VHL history
188 names have appeared twice in the past and whilst the list is copied in below, I won't dwell on it for too long. This section contains Hall of Famers and completely forgotten journeymen, it has brothers, fathers and sons, and even families separated by multiple generations. Most frequently, it contains completely random and coincidental repeats, separated by as many as 90 seasons. There are two facts of most interest in this category:
 
Two names have a 100% Hall of Fame success rate – Sterling (father) and Alexander (son) Labatte, as well as the Clegane brothers
There has twice been a pair of Mario and Luigi in the VHL – the Linguinis and the De Rossis
 

 
Names used 3x in VHL history
55 more names added to the list in this category which doesn't really have any fun tidbits to pull out – seems to be a higher proportion of recognisable names than in the first section. What this exercise has been actually helpful in is identifying some duplicates I had in the all-time stats spreadsheet from the 60s. Not sure how those happened but they're gone now.
 
Perhaps one other thing worth mentioning is that in addition to the two Ryans in the above 2x list, there was also a man simply named Ryan in the VHL at one point. Unfortunately that Ryan counts as someone with a last name so the Ryans do not manage to make the cut for the 3x list.
 

 
The Top 24
 
We are now in the top end of the ranking, as at 4 appearances each, the pool dwindles considerably. There are 13 names which show up exactly 4 times:
The Bakers (Abel, Joseph, Patrick, and Shane)
The Carters (Alex, Donny, Jared and Jared the 2st (sic))
The Clarkes (Daniel, Dean, Jon, and Will) – two of whom, Dean and Will, are unrelated but were both of the cup-winning S70 Moscow squad
The Downeys (Bahr, Jeff (both the S1 and much more successful S68 incarnation) and the original Jeff's brother Ryan)
The Eagles (two Gregs, Henry, and Tom) – brought to us exclusively by @Greg_Di. Greg Eagleowski sadly doesn't make the cut.
The Funks (brothers and Builders Dust'n and Raymond and decades later playoff hero Rayz and the less notable Frank Jr)
The Kings (Kevin, Markus, Roctrion, and Thomas)
The Komarovs (Evgeni, Pavel, Sergei, and Vladamir) – also the sole work of one man, @Gooningitup
The Matthews (Anthony, Luke, Mitchell, and Wesley)
The Millers (Alec, Jackson, MF Percy, and Nicholas)
The Syndergaards (two Aksels, Thomas, and Tomas)
The Williams (AJ, Justin, Robinson, and Tyrone)
and the Youngs (Alex, Christopher, Naomi, and Zachary)
 
5 names then, fittingly, show up 5 times over the years:
Davis (David, Finn, Jake, Jasper, and Roque) – almost entirely hauled up the list by @Josh's obsession with the name
Hamilton (brothers Phil, Jeff, and David (Phil and Jeff making the Hall) and also the lesser-known Drew and Josh)
Knight (Blake, David, Jordan, Ricky, Steven) – remarkably only once used by either @Phil or David @Knight – the actual Knight brothers choosing to be Hamilton brothers in the VHL instead
Reinhart (Asher, Jerome, Reylynn, Tobias, and Tyler all being prominent in the 80s)
Tremblay (Dan, Danny, Pierre-Marc, Steve and the man himself (not really), Simon Tremblay)

 
Then in joint fifth place...
6 Hunters (Alyksander, Blade, Braxton, JaKobe, Jeff, and Kurtis)
6 Jokinens (Alvaro, David, Diego, Erlantz, Fabio, and Fernando) – courtesy of the Finnish fiends @Ahma and @jRuutu
6 Smiths (Cody, Jacob, Josh, Lucas, Steve, and Trevor) – all extremely forgettable just like the name

 
In joint third place we have the Wilsons (Aaron, Al, Connor, Dusty, Jesse, Josh, and Wade), 7 completely unrelated and largely irrelevant players, and the Gow brothers (@Fire Tortorella and @eaglesfan036) who have brought 7 Gows (Austin, Bernie, Jeff, Jim, Robert III, Robin, and Shayne) to the VHL before branching off into more creative names.

 
Jones is the second most popular last name in VHL history with 9 players (Bob, Casey, Dallas, Dan, Davey, Jay, Kered, Mason, and Ty) over the years. Davey Jones as part of the 30s Dynamo and Casey Jones who had a Labatte-winning rookie season in S57 and then was part of the USA's most prolific World Cup years are easily the most successful of the Joneses.

 
Clear at the top it's the Johnsons though – 12 of them specifically. We've had Bossman, Brent, Gabrial, Gabriel, Kobe, Leroy, Michael, Miles, Phil “The Rock”, Regie, Reid, and Ricky. Yes I was also hoping for a more impressive list but Michael and Phil have definitely elevated the Johnsons' profile in more recent season and Kobe is active in the VHL as we speak. Will anyone catch them? Only time will tell.

Bonus craziness considering the ESHL back in the day was one of the "good ones" and it only managed to finish 4 seasons, it died during season 5.
 
Also bonus fun I found a YouTube video someone made promoting it in early 2007 and the link now leads to porn; that's a thing to discover at work.

This was my first reaction to reading that and I'm happy you found it

Just under a third of the way through the season, the Malmo Nighthawks took possession of first place in the European Conference, and they have not ceded the position since. With just ten games to go, they currently have a 13 point lead over the Menace. While it seems almost a certainty that the Nighthawks will end up the number one seed in Europe, things recently were looking like they were going to get interesting, but Malmo got back on track and the Moscow came back down to Earth.

At the 47-game mark, the Nighthawks were at 74 points. They had been on a 15-0-1 tear in their last 16 games. At the same time, the Menace had 65 points and were winners of their last 13. The pressure was being put on Malmo was evident. They had to keep winning, or Moscow was going to catch up quickly. Well, the Nighthawks did not keep winning. They had a 2-3-1 record over their next six games, while Moscow, although their win streak did end at 16, went 5-0-1 in that same time. The lead in the conference was down to 3 points, and it was looking like we may be in for a tight race after all. The two teams would face each other in the next game, giving Moscow a prime opportunity to bring things within a point.

The Nighthawks shut out the Menace 5-0 in the game, and they haven't lost since. After the brief six-game stretch of a mediocre play, they are right back on track performing like the number one team that they are. Their current nine-game winning streak matches their season high. During this time, they have outscored their opponents 45-17. Granted, five of these game have been against sub-.500 teams (four against Chicago, who are fighting for a playoff spot in North America). In addition to the 5-0 win over Moscow, though, they do also have an 8-2 victory over London.
 
It has been a total team effort for the Nighthawks, who now have the most goals scored (217) and the fewest goals allowed (146). Five players have at least six goals during the win streak, with Yaroslav Bogatyrev and Savaisk Tzesar leading the way with eight each. Eight players are averaging at least a point-per-game. Defenseman Jacob Stone has been the biggest contributor, with 21 points, 27 hits, and 27 shots blocked. The goaltending has been stellar as well, as Ash Sparks has allowed under two goals-per-game with a 0.942 save percentage.
 
At this stage, the first seed in the conference seems all but wrapped up, and the Victory Cup is very much theirs to lose as well. The Stars are 12 points back with 11 games (one more than Malmo) left to play, and Calgary is tied with Moscow at 13 back with ten to play. If the Nighthawks can hang on to finish first in the overall standings, if would be the third time in franchise history (S79, S68). In recent seasons, though, the the top regular season team has not fared all too well in the playoffs. The last team to even make it to the finals after winning the Victory Cup was Moscow back in Season 83.

Note beforehand: I selected players for this based on appropriate ratings, not stats - so it's entirely possible some of the players here are not having all-star calibre seasons, or players who deserve to be at the all-star game were not selected. Also, I made sure every team had at least one player in the skills comp, and the results were determined relatively randomly with some consideration given to the appropriate ratings... I didn't use any kind of script or anything for this. It's all just made up.
 
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DC: Welcome to Los Angeles for the VHL All-Star Skills Competition! I'm Dan Callaghan for VSN and with me today is Landon Fairhaven. With players from each of the VHL's 16 teams in attendance competing for the All-Star Cup, testing their skills in a variety of different competitions, let's get right into the fun times!
LF: First up, we have the Hardest Shot competition. Competitors will get two attempts each and only the best will count. One point will go to the team with the winning player and one point will go to the overall winning team.
 
Your competitors for the Hardest Shot are:
John Jameson (Prague) @Frank-- 97 ST, 89 SC, 6'3 215
Wann Kerr (London) @VattghernCZ -- 99 ST, 88 SC, 5'9 189
Todd Cooke (Los Angeles) @KRZY-- 99 ST, 89 SC, 6'6 190
Jimi Jaks (Toronto) @ke1vi -- 99 ST, 90 SC, 6'0 190
 
ATTEMPT 1:
John Jameson 96.4 MPH / Wann Kerr 97.2 MPH
Todd Cooke 99.7 MPH / Jimi Jaks 81.4 MPH
 
DC: Well, Landon, three pretty good efforts there and then it looked like Jimi Jaks didn't get much on their attempt, but fortunately, they will all get another crack at it.
LF: Todd Cooke is probably the favourite in this event and got a pretty good blast off there! They'll be tough to beat. They're so strong and that 6'6 frame can really get a lot of leverage to rip a puck. Let's see what happens.
 
ATTEMPT 2:
John Jameson 98.5 MPH / Wann Kerr 95.4 MPH
Todd Cooke 100.1 MPH / Jimi Jaks 99.2 MPH
FINAL RESULTS:
John Jameson 98.5 MPH / Wann Kerr 97.2 MPH / EU Total: 195.7 MPH
Todd Cooke 100.1 MPH / Jimi Jaks 99.2 MPH / NA Total: 199.3 MPH
 
DC: You called it Landon - Todd Cooke comes through and even gives us a triple-digit blast. And his teammate Jimi Jaks is going to come in second here after a much better shot! That puts the North American Conference up 2-0 after the first event.
 
Next up, we've got the Accuracy Shooting competition! Players will shoot until they hit all 4 targets. One point will go to the team with the winning player and one point to the overall winning team.
 
Your competitors for Accuracy Shooting are:
Molly the Cat (London) @JCarson -- 92 SC, 91 WS
Nikolas Kauppi (Prague) @Tetricide -- 88 SC, 90 WS
EU Conference Passer: Babay Shrimp (Riga) @Blazzer (91 PA)

Jason (DC) @Jason kranz -- 90 SC, 91 WS
Napoleon Dynamite (Los Angeles) @thadthrasher -- 88 SC, 93 WS)
NA Conference Passer: Randy Bobandy (Calgary) @AJW (89 PA)
 
RESULTS:
Molly the Cat: 4 for 4, 9.1 seconds
Nikolas Kauppi: 4 for 6, 15.5 seconds
EU Total: 8 for 10, 24.6 seconds
 
Jason: 4 for 5, 13.2 seconds
Napoleon Dynamite: 4 for 6, 14.2 seconds
NA Total: 8 for 11, 27.4 seconds
 
LF: Molly the Cat shows off the quick release on their wrist shot AND their deadly accuracy with a very impressive 4 for 4, and in just 9.1 seconds - a fantastic performance!
DC: The EU ties up the Skills Comp as they grab the team point for this one, too. It was a good performance by Jason here but this one shot here, their fourth attempt, just barely misses the target and rings the iron.
LF: It keeps things interesting though! 2-2 after two events. There are a lot of young fans in here right now having a great time, meeting the players and getting a competitive event. That's what it's all about!
DC: Well, now we shift our attention to the Fastest Skater competition! This one's a real fan favourite. Each player will get two attempts with only their best lap counting. As with the other events, one point goes to the team with the winning player and one to the overall winning team.
 
Let's meet the competitors for the Fastest Skater:
Jacob Stone (Malmo) @scoop-- 92 SK, 6'6 222
Daryl Dixon (Helsinki) @Ricer13 -- 90 SK, 5'10 170
Liv Slater (Vancouver) @Subject056 -- 88 SK, 5'9 148
The Frenchman (DC) @OrbitingDeath -- 90 SK, 5'11 170
 
ATTEMPT 1:
Jacob Stone: 17.206 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.069 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.401 seconds / The Frenchman: 15.209 seconds
 
DC: Jacob Stone might be the guy with the best top-end speed here but had some trouble with one of the corners and couldn't get it back together. Daryl Dixon had a lightning-quick lap with a real competitive time and it looked like The Frenchman just didn't get up to speed in time, they're capable of better, but let's see how this second run goes!
 
ATTEMPT 2:
Jacob Stone: 14.854 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.312 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.188 seconds / The Frenchman: 14.552 seconds
FINAL RESULTS:
Jacob Stone: 14.854 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.069 seconds / EU Total: 28.923 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.188 seconds / The Frenchman: 14.552 seconds / NA Total: 28.740 seconds
 
LF: Well, that was exciting! All four players really flew around the rink on that one. Three of them improved on their times.
DC: But ultimately nobody touches Daryl Dixon's first lap here! 14.069 is an excellent time. Liv Slater gave it a really good run, their acceleration and agility was clearly on display. The team score is very close here but it looks like the NA will take that point, countering the point Dixon gets for the EU.
LF: So we have a 3-3 tie! But now we get to the real good part...
DC: It's time for the Shootout competition! Each player will take two shootout attempts on the opposing netminder. One point is awarded for each goal scored!
 
Let's meet the players:
AK92 Wit da Hoodie (Riga) @hedgehog337 -- 94 PH, 78 PS
Left Alone (Moscow) @okochastar -- 90 PH, 80 PS
Alfred Champagne (Warsaw) @Anthique -- 88 PH, 78 PS
EU Goaltender: Fuukka Rask (Helsinki) @Jubis -- 64 PS
 
Skor McFleury (Calgary) @Alex -- 94 PH, 78 PS
Severus Targaryen (Seattle) @Banackock -- 85 PH, 74 PS
Mac Atlas (Toronto) @v.2  -- 92 PH, 80 PS
NA Goaltender: Art Vandelay (Los Angeles) @Gustav  -- 55 PS
 
DC: Coming in for their first attempt it's the VHL's current leading scorer, AK92 Wit da Hoodie.
LF: 30 goals and 62 points in 39 games so far this year, those are stunning numbers. You know they can put the puck in the net.
DC: A lovely little forehand-backhand move there and Vandelay is caught out of position! Chalk up a goal for the EU there!
And trying to match that now will be Skor McFleury of the Calgary Wranglers. McFleury comes in with speed and a flurry of moves!
LF: I see what you did there.
DC: He puts it past Rask and our score is now 4-4! Back to the EU Conference's turn, it's Left Alone. He skates in, toe drag, a great little move but Vandelay stones him! An excellent blocker save from Vandelay!
LF: So the North American Conference will have a chance to take the lead here. Severus Targaryen, second-year pro from the Seattle Bears will take the shot.
DC: It looks like he bobbles the puck here a bit picking it up but makes a nice recovery, walks in, takes the puck to the backhand but puts it wide.
LF: Rask gave him no room there, he tracked the puck really well all the way across. Targaryen was looking for whatever little space was there but there wasn't any.
DC: Alfred Champagne, the Warsaw representative here, will get a chance now. He skates in, fires a quick shot but it looks like Vandelay was ready for that one all the way.
Now we have Mac Atlas to take the shot. He's got Rask on his heels as he comes in fast, takes a shot and oh my! He scores! That shot couldn't have been placed any better.
LF: No chance for the goalie there, that's why Atlas has back-to-back 40-goal seasons.
DC: North America has a 5-4 lead here. We'll go in reverse order for the second try, so it's right back to Atlas. He's got the moves this time! Takes it out wide, comes back in, backhand-forehand-backhand and a lovely finish - that's two magnificent goals from Atlas. That one's really got the crowd going.
LF: And North America has a 6-4 edge. Champagne is back out to try to narrow the gap.
DC: Ohhhh and he wires it off the crossbar! A more promising effort than the first one but Champagne can't quite bulge the twine. It's a chance for the North American team to take a stranglehold here and Targaryen comes back out.
Targaryen comes in quick and - oh! Would you look at that, he tries to go between the legs and that would've been something magical but Rask wasn't fooled.
LF: A good job by Rask of staying in position with the fancy move happening right in front of him.
DC: Left Alone, driving out wide to the left side of the ice and now he slows it down as he cuts back in, fires and scores!
LF: Alone catches Vandelay here by changing the angle and beats him low blocker with a well-placed wrister. The lead is back down to one, it's 6-5 for North America.
DC: Skor McFleury coming back in here. Flying out wide, now cutting all the way back across the circles and he slides the puck through Rask!
LF: McFleury is so smooth out there, not hard to tell why he's one of the best defensemen in the league. He probably would've had a chance in the Fastest Skater and he put that speed to good use there, really put Rask in a bad spot.
DC: AK92 Wit da Hoodie is hoping to keep the lead at one before we get into the Breakaway Relay. He pulls up at the dots and tries a slapshot! And it works! Oh, the fans love that. He caught Vandelay off guard by going for the slapper there.
LF: And it was a heck of a shot, too! What a rocket.
DC: So with that, we have a 7-6 score in the skills comp. And we've got one final event to decide it all! It's the 3-on-0 Breakaway Relay. Teams of 2 forwards and 1 defenseman will take three 3-on-0 attempts against the opposing netminder, with one point awarded for each goal scored.
 
Here are the Breakaway Relay lineups!
Yaroslav Bogatyrev (Malmo) @Bojovnik-- 85 SK, 87 PH, 69 PA, 89 SC
Leonard Triller (London) @Triller-- 91 SK, 94 PH, 94 PA, 83 SC
Pierre Emile Bouchard (Helsinki) @Gaikoku-hito -- 84 SK, 91 PH, 85 PA, 87 SC
EU Goaltender: Lachlan Summers (Davos) @kirbithan
 
Francesco Mancini (New York) @GioSivo -- 87 SK, 86 PH, 91 PA, 86 SC
Yaroslav Trunov (Chicago) @qripll -- 80 SK, 88 PH, 67 PA, 85 SC
Mark Calaway (DC) @Beketov -- 87 SK, 90 PH, 68 PA, 90 SC
NA Goaltender: Merome Dilson (Calgary) @MexicanCow123
 
DC: And here we go! Triller picks the puck up at centre for Europe and he comes in fast! Pass to Bouchard, who one-touches it back to Triller, and oh my! He pulls Dilson out of position beautifully and sends a magnificant feed to Bogatyrev. That's a tap-in for Big Boga and our skills comp is tied.
LF: Triller led the league in assists last year and he's one of the most crafty players in a league where shooters get a lot of the attention. That right there is what a great playmaker can do!
DC: Mark Calaway moves the puck ahead to Trunov here and the NA team is in on Lachlan Summers. Trunov passes off to Mancini, he throws it back to Calaway who fakes a shot, passes back to Trunov, but the pass is a bit off and bounces away from Trunov, an unfortunate break there.
It looks like the EU is sticking with what's working as Triller picks the puck up with speed and flies over the line. Throws on the breaks and gives the puck to Bogatyrev, he sends it back to Bouchard and Bouchard rips the shot home! Suddenly, Europe has taken the lead!
LF: Nothing like a good back-and-forth competition!
DC: This time Mancini will run the play for North America. He fakes a shot and passes to Trunov who hesitates, drops it back for Calaway and he lets a rocket go! It's off the post and into the back of the net!
LF: Calaway is one of those guys with a great shot from the back end and he shows it off there. No defending that one!
DC: So, the teams are tied and we have one attempt each left.
LF: Oh, the drama! You know, it's just a skills competition but these guys are competitors. They don't want to lose, especially when it gets to the end and it's this close.
DC: Triller with a little razzle-dazzle as he puts on a spin move as he picks the puck up! He passes it to Bouchard, to Bogatyrev, back to Bouchard and back to Triller for the finish! Brilliant passing and the European Conference goes up 9-8!
LF: That right there is why a 3-on-0 is a goalie's worst nightmare. There's nothing Dilson can do about that. I talked about that Calaway shot earlier being impossible to defend, but this play here is just another level entirely.
DC: It's a must-score situation for the NA trio and Trunov picks the puck up. He runs a little give-and-go with Calaway, moves it over to Mancini. Mancini tries a move and OH NO! He lifts it just a shade over the net! Mancini had Summers beat but gets a bit too much on it.
LF: That was an excellent move and Summers here goes for the poke check, Mancini just gets around him, this probably should be a goal but he just got a little too excited there and skies it! What a finish.
DC: That's a tough one for Mancini, but at the end of the day, this event was for the fans and hey, they got their money's worth! A dazzling display of skills from the VHL's most talented players and a thrilling scoreline overall. Congrats to Team Europe for ultimately grabbing the 9-8 win - we hope you enjoyed the show!
 
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2484 words so claiming for the next 4 weeks

With the VHLM Trade Deadline today, there are already a few big trades that have been agreed to by the party teams and are awaiting league approval.  Assuming everything is above board and these trades all go through, here are the most notable players on the move at the Season 92 VHLM Trade Deadline . . . so far.
 
Antonia Bucatini @CowboyinAmerica- Acquired by Houston Bulls
The Bulls roster is full.  GM @AJW has done an exceptional job of filing out the lineup with free agent acquisitions and has taken a swing for the fences with the trade deadline acquisition of Antonia Bucatini.  In this deal, Houston sends Halifax Bolor Khan @Bolor Khan, a 1st round pick for S93, and a 4th round pick for S94.  Khan is still a young player early in his development and will likely spend at least another season in the VHLM.  The 1st and 4th round picks are a steep price to pay, but for the talent coming back and the promise of the current roster, it's easy to see why AJW pulled the trigger.  Antonia Bucatini is an immense talent in the VHLM and is the current league leader with an astounding 324 shots in 52 games played.  Bucatini had 32 goals, good for 6th most in the league, and 30 assists playing for Halifax who has struggled immensely this season.  On a Bulls roster bursting with up-and-coming talent, Bucatini will have no shortage of quality complimentary players.  Don't be surprised to see Bucatini catch fire quick playing alongside the likes of Trimiskez Artav @jake and Chris Reynolds Jr. @Crstats23on Houston's top line.
 
Annie Oaks @Noodle Enjoyer - Acquired by Las Vegas Aces
One of the VHLM's most promising rookies is headed to Las Vegas, acquired in a trade by Aces GM @McLovin with @Ricer13 of the Saskatoon Wild.  The Wild have been busy at this trade deadline dealing three of their top players and committing to building for the future.  Coming back to Saskatoon from Vegas is Masa Akimoto @Hokikeijot, a solid young defender who will be a quality VHLM defenseman next season, as well as a 2nd and 3rd round pick for S93.  Headed to Sin City is Annie Oaks, who was second on the Wild with 31 goals and 33 assists for 64 points this season.  As a RW, Oaks will likely slot into the Aces second line because Elle Aura Ashe already occupies the top RW spot.  This is a shrewd move by Las Vegas to build out their top 6 with another high-end scoring forward and they definitely look like a contender coming out of the Western Conference, currently at 2nd in the league overall.

Forum Content @frescoelmo and UghSike @UghSike - Acquired by Miami Marauders
If AJW was swinging for the fences in Houston, Miami's GM @Tetricide may have just knocked it out of the park acquiring two of Saskatoon's top players in Forum Content and UghSike.  With Forum Content currently sitting at 2nd in overall scoring with 83 points and UghSike putting up a more than respectable 46 points in 52 games, like Vegas, the Marauders have also assembled a menacing top 6 that is sure to strike fear in defenders league-wide.  The idea of Forum Content playing on the same team as Matthew Highmore @NineIQ v2 and Bilbo Teebaggins @SackButter is a tantalizing prospect.  The Marauders did need to give up a quality player in Leon Bruhmaninho @BigBruhman who had 50 points in 52 games, as well as a S93 1st rounder and a S94 2nd rounder to get the deal done.  This move does have the potential, however, to vault the Marauders up the standings and situate them among the leagues top competitors for the Founder's Cup.
 
With these moves already, it is clear that there is an arms race taking place in the VHLM with at least 5 teams believing they have a legitimate shot at winning the Founder's Cup this season.  It will be fascinating to see how it all shakes out and which trade deadline acquisition can help their team when the playoffs roll around.  
 
 
Lauren Lambert for VHL.com
Claimed for 02/11/24

Halifax receives:
Bolor Khan
S93 HOU 1st
S94 HOU 4th

Houston receives:
Antonia Bucatini


This trade has been accepted by all parties and is pending league approval.

I didn't scored, but I'm sure it was close!
 
Love those kind of media

Note beforehand: I selected players for this based on appropriate ratings, not stats - so it's entirely possible some of the players here are not having all-star calibre seasons, or players who deserve to be at the all-star game were not selected. Also, I made sure every team had at least one player in the skills comp, and the results were determined relatively randomly with some consideration given to the appropriate ratings... I didn't use any kind of script or anything for this. It's all just made up.
 
---
 
DC: Welcome to Los Angeles for the VHL All-Star Skills Competition! I'm Dan Callaghan for VSN and with me today is Landon Fairhaven. With players from each of the VHL's 16 teams in attendance competing for the All-Star Cup, testing their skills in a variety of different competitions, let's get right into the fun times!
LF: First up, we have the Hardest Shot competition. Competitors will get two attempts each and only the best will count. One point will go to the team with the winning player and one point will go to the overall winning team.
 
Your competitors for the Hardest Shot are:
John Jameson (Prague) @Frank-- 97 ST, 89 SC, 6'3 215
Wann Kerr (London) @VattghernCZ -- 99 ST, 88 SC, 5'9 189
Todd Cooke (Los Angeles) @KRZY-- 99 ST, 89 SC, 6'6 190
Jimi Jaks (Toronto) @ke1vi -- 99 ST, 90 SC, 6'0 190
 
ATTEMPT 1:
John Jameson 96.4 MPH / Wann Kerr 97.2 MPH
Todd Cooke 99.7 MPH / Jimi Jaks 81.4 MPH
 
DC: Well, Landon, three pretty good efforts there and then it looked like Jimi Jaks didn't get much on their attempt, but fortunately, they will all get another crack at it.
LF: Todd Cooke is probably the favourite in this event and got a pretty good blast off there! They'll be tough to beat. They're so strong and that 6'6 frame can really get a lot of leverage to rip a puck. Let's see what happens.
 
ATTEMPT 2:
John Jameson 98.5 MPH / Wann Kerr 95.4 MPH
Todd Cooke 100.1 MPH / Jimi Jaks 99.2 MPH
FINAL RESULTS:
John Jameson 98.5 MPH / Wann Kerr 97.2 MPH / EU Total: 195.7 MPH
Todd Cooke 100.1 MPH / Jimi Jaks 99.2 MPH / NA Total: 199.3 MPH
 
DC: You called it Landon - Todd Cooke comes through and even gives us a triple-digit blast. And his teammate Jimi Jaks is going to come in second here after a much better shot! That puts the North American Conference up 2-0 after the first event.
 
Next up, we've got the Accuracy Shooting competition! Players will shoot until they hit all 4 targets. One point will go to the team with the winning player and one point to the overall winning team.
 
Your competitors for Accuracy Shooting are:
Molly the Cat (London) @JCarson -- 92 SC, 91 WS
Nikolas Kauppi (Prague) @Tetricide -- 88 SC, 90 WS
EU Conference Passer: Babay Shrimp (Riga) @Blazzer (91 PA)

Jason (DC) @Jason kranz -- 90 SC, 91 WS
Napoleon Dynamite (Los Angeles) @thadthrasher -- 88 SC, 93 WS)
NA Conference Passer: Randy Bobandy (Calgary) @AJW (89 PA)
 
RESULTS:
Molly the Cat: 4 for 4, 9.1 seconds
Nikolas Kauppi: 4 for 6, 15.5 seconds
EU Total: 8 for 10, 24.6 seconds
 
Jason: 4 for 5, 13.2 seconds
Napoleon Dynamite: 4 for 6, 14.2 seconds
NA Total: 8 for 11, 27.4 seconds
 
LF: Molly the Cat shows off the quick release on their wrist shot AND their deadly accuracy with a very impressive 4 for 4, and in just 9.1 seconds - a fantastic performance!
DC: The EU ties up the Skills Comp as they grab the team point for this one, too. It was a good performance by Jason here but this one shot here, their fourth attempt, just barely misses the target and rings the iron.
LF: It keeps things interesting though! 2-2 after two events. There are a lot of young fans in here right now having a great time, meeting the players and getting a competitive event. That's what it's all about!
DC: Well, now we shift our attention to the Fastest Skater competition! This one's a real fan favourite. Each player will get two attempts with only their best lap counting. As with the other events, one point goes to the team with the winning player and one to the overall winning team.
 
Let's meet the competitors for the Fastest Skater:
Jacob Stone (Malmo) @scoop-- 92 SK, 6'6 222
Daryl Dixon (Helsinki) @Ricer13 -- 90 SK, 5'10 170
Liv Slater (Vancouver) @Subject056 -- 88 SK, 5'9 148
The Frenchman (DC) @OrbitingDeath -- 90 SK, 5'11 170
 
ATTEMPT 1:
Jacob Stone: 17.206 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.069 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.401 seconds / The Frenchman: 15.209 seconds
 
DC: Jacob Stone might be the guy with the best top-end speed here but had some trouble with one of the corners and couldn't get it back together. Daryl Dixon had a lightning-quick lap with a real competitive time and it looked like The Frenchman just didn't get up to speed in time, they're capable of better, but let's see how this second run goes!
 
ATTEMPT 2:
Jacob Stone: 14.854 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.312 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.188 seconds / The Frenchman: 14.552 seconds
FINAL RESULTS:
Jacob Stone: 14.854 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.069 seconds / EU Total: 28.923 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.188 seconds / The Frenchman: 14.552 seconds / NA Total: 28.740 seconds
 
LF: Well, that was exciting! All four players really flew around the rink on that one. Three of them improved on their times.
DC: But ultimately nobody touches Daryl Dixon's first lap here! 14.069 is an excellent time. Liv Slater gave it a really good run, their acceleration and agility was clearly on display. The team score is very close here but it looks like the NA will take that point, countering the point Dixon gets for the EU.
LF: So we have a 3-3 tie! But now we get to the real good part...
DC: It's time for the Shootout competition! Each player will take two shootout attempts on the opposing netminder. One point is awarded for each goal scored!
 
Let's meet the players:
AK92 Wit da Hoodie (Riga) @hedgehog337 -- 94 PH, 78 PS
Left Alone (Moscow) @okochastar -- 90 PH, 80 PS
Alfred Champagne (Warsaw) @Anthique -- 88 PH, 78 PS
EU Goaltender: Fuukka Rask (Helsinki) @Jubis -- 64 PS
 
Skor McFleury (Calgary) @Alex -- 94 PH, 78 PS
Severus Targaryen (Seattle) @Banackock -- 85 PH, 74 PS
Mac Atlas (Toronto) @v.2  -- 92 PH, 80 PS
NA Goaltender: Art Vandelay (Los Angeles) @Gustav  -- 55 PS
 
DC: Coming in for their first attempt it's the VHL's current leading scorer, AK92 Wit da Hoodie.
LF: 30 goals and 62 points in 39 games so far this year, those are stunning numbers. You know they can put the puck in the net.
DC: A lovely little forehand-backhand move there and Vandelay is caught out of position! Chalk up a goal for the EU there!
And trying to match that now will be Skor McFleury of the Calgary Wranglers. McFleury comes in with speed and a flurry of moves!
LF: I see what you did there.
DC: He puts it past Rask and our score is now 4-4! Back to the EU Conference's turn, it's Left Alone. He skates in, toe drag, a great little move but Vandelay stones him! An excellent blocker save from Vandelay!
LF: So the North American Conference will have a chance to take the lead here. Severus Targaryen, second-year pro from the Seattle Bears will take the shot.
DC: It looks like he bobbles the puck here a bit picking it up but makes a nice recovery, walks in, takes the puck to the backhand but puts it wide.
LF: Rask gave him no room there, he tracked the puck really well all the way across. Targaryen was looking for whatever little space was there but there wasn't any.
DC: Alfred Champagne, the Warsaw representative here, will get a chance now. He skates in, fires a quick shot but it looks like Vandelay was ready for that one all the way.
Now we have Mac Atlas to take the shot. He's got Rask on his heels as he comes in fast, takes a shot and oh my! He scores! That shot couldn't have been placed any better.
LF: No chance for the goalie there, that's why Atlas has back-to-back 40-goal seasons.
DC: North America has a 5-4 lead here. We'll go in reverse order for the second try, so it's right back to Atlas. He's got the moves this time! Takes it out wide, comes back in, backhand-forehand-backhand and a lovely finish - that's two magnificent goals from Atlas. That one's really got the crowd going.
LF: And North America has a 6-4 edge. Champagne is back out to try to narrow the gap.
DC: Ohhhh and he wires it off the crossbar! A more promising effort than the first one but Champagne can't quite bulge the twine. It's a chance for the North American team to take a stranglehold here and Targaryen comes back out.
Targaryen comes in quick and - oh! Would you look at that, he tries to go between the legs and that would've been something magical but Rask wasn't fooled.
LF: A good job by Rask of staying in position with the fancy move happening right in front of him.
DC: Left Alone, driving out wide to the left side of the ice and now he slows it down as he cuts back in, fires and scores!
LF: Alone catches Vandelay here by changing the angle and beats him low blocker with a well-placed wrister. The lead is back down to one, it's 6-5 for North America.
DC: Skor McFleury coming back in here. Flying out wide, now cutting all the way back across the circles and he slides the puck through Rask!
LF: McFleury is so smooth out there, not hard to tell why he's one of the best defensemen in the league. He probably would've had a chance in the Fastest Skater and he put that speed to good use there, really put Rask in a bad spot.
DC: AK92 Wit da Hoodie is hoping to keep the lead at one before we get into the Breakaway Relay. He pulls up at the dots and tries a slapshot! And it works! Oh, the fans love that. He caught Vandelay off guard by going for the slapper there.
LF: And it was a heck of a shot, too! What a rocket.
DC: So with that, we have a 7-6 score in the skills comp. And we've got one final event to decide it all! It's the 3-on-0 Breakaway Relay. Teams of 2 forwards and 1 defenseman will take three 3-on-0 attempts against the opposing netminder, with one point awarded for each goal scored.
 
Here are the Breakaway Relay lineups!
Yaroslav Bogatyrev (Malmo) @Bojovnik-- 85 SK, 87 PH, 69 PA, 89 SC
Leonard Triller (London) @Triller-- 91 SK, 94 PH, 94 PA, 83 SC
Pierre Emile Bouchard (Helsinki) @Gaikoku-hito -- 84 SK, 91 PH, 85 PA, 87 SC
EU Goaltender: Lachlan Summers (Davos) @kirbithan
 
Francesco Mancini (New York) @GioSivo -- 87 SK, 86 PH, 91 PA, 86 SC
Yaroslav Trunov (Chicago) @qripll -- 80 SK, 88 PH, 67 PA, 85 SC
Mark Calaway (DC) @Beketov -- 87 SK, 90 PH, 68 PA, 90 SC
NA Goaltender: Merome Dilson (Calgary) @MexicanCow123
 
DC: And here we go! Triller picks the puck up at centre for Europe and he comes in fast! Pass to Bouchard, who one-touches it back to Triller, and oh my! He pulls Dilson out of position beautifully and sends a magnificant feed to Bogatyrev. That's a tap-in for Big Boga and our skills comp is tied.
LF: Triller led the league in assists last year and he's one of the most crafty players in a league where shooters get a lot of the attention. That right there is what a great playmaker can do!
DC: Mark Calaway moves the puck ahead to Trunov here and the NA team is in on Lachlan Summers. Trunov passes off to Mancini, he throws it back to Calaway who fakes a shot, passes back to Trunov, but the pass is a bit off and bounces away from Trunov, an unfortunate break there.
It looks like the EU is sticking with what's working as Triller picks the puck up with speed and flies over the line. Throws on the breaks and gives the puck to Bogatyrev, he sends it back to Bouchard and Bouchard rips the shot home! Suddenly, Europe has taken the lead!
LF: Nothing like a good back-and-forth competition!
DC: This time Mancini will run the play for North America. He fakes a shot and passes to Trunov who hesitates, drops it back for Calaway and he lets a rocket go! It's off the post and into the back of the net!
LF: Calaway is one of those guys with a great shot from the back end and he shows it off there. No defending that one!
DC: So, the teams are tied and we have one attempt each left.
LF: Oh, the drama! You know, it's just a skills competition but these guys are competitors. They don't want to lose, especially when it gets to the end and it's this close.
DC: Triller with a little razzle-dazzle as he puts on a spin move as he picks the puck up! He passes it to Bouchard, to Bogatyrev, back to Bouchard and back to Triller for the finish! Brilliant passing and the European Conference goes up 9-8!
LF: That right there is why a 3-on-0 is a goalie's worst nightmare. There's nothing Dilson can do about that. I talked about that Calaway shot earlier being impossible to defend, but this play here is just another level entirely.
DC: It's a must-score situation for the NA trio and Trunov picks the puck up. He runs a little give-and-go with Calaway, moves it over to Mancini. Mancini tries a move and OH NO! He lifts it just a shade over the net! Mancini had Summers beat but gets a bit too much on it.
LF: That was an excellent move and Summers here goes for the poke check, Mancini just gets around him, this probably should be a goal but he just got a little too excited there and skies it! What a finish.
DC: That's a tough one for Mancini, but at the end of the day, this event was for the fans and hey, they got their money's worth! A dazzling display of skills from the VHL's most talented players and a thrilling scoreline overall. Congrats to Team Europe for ultimately grabbing the 9-8 win - we hope you enjoyed the show!
 
---
 
2484 words so claiming for the next 4 weeks

This man really got rid of waiver pitches and asked to be waiver pitched smh

Note beforehand: I selected players for this based on appropriate ratings, not stats - so it's entirely possible some of the players here are not having all-star calibre seasons, or players who deserve to be at the all-star game were not selected. Also, I made sure every team had at least one player in the skills comp, and the results were determined relatively randomly with some consideration given to the appropriate ratings... I didn't use any kind of script or anything for this. It's all just made up.
 
---
 
DC: Welcome to Los Angeles for the VHL All-Star Skills Competition! I'm Dan Callaghan for VSN and with me today is Landon Fairhaven. With players from each of the VHL's 16 teams in attendance competing for the All-Star Cup, testing their skills in a variety of different competitions, let's get right into the fun times!
LF: First up, we have the Hardest Shot competition. Competitors will get two attempts each and only the best will count. One point will go to the team with the winning player and one point will go to the overall winning team.
 
Your competitors for the Hardest Shot are:
John Jameson (Prague) @Frank-- 97 ST, 89 SC, 6'3 215
Wann Kerr (London) @VattghernCZ -- 99 ST, 88 SC, 5'9 189
Todd Cooke (Los Angeles) @KRZY-- 99 ST, 89 SC, 6'6 190
Jimi Jaks (Toronto) @ke1vi -- 99 ST, 90 SC, 6'0 190
 
ATTEMPT 1:
John Jameson 96.4 MPH / Wann Kerr 97.2 MPH
Todd Cooke 99.7 MPH / Jimi Jaks 81.4 MPH
 
DC: Well, Landon, three pretty good efforts there and then it looked like Jimi Jaks didn't get much on their attempt, but fortunately, they will all get another crack at it.
LF: Todd Cooke is probably the favourite in this event and got a pretty good blast off there! They'll be tough to beat. They're so strong and that 6'6 frame can really get a lot of leverage to rip a puck. Let's see what happens.
 
ATTEMPT 2:
John Jameson 98.5 MPH / Wann Kerr 95.4 MPH
Todd Cooke 100.1 MPH / Jimi Jaks 99.2 MPH
FINAL RESULTS:
John Jameson 98.5 MPH / Wann Kerr 97.2 MPH / EU Total: 195.7 MPH
Todd Cooke 100.1 MPH / Jimi Jaks 99.2 MPH / NA Total: 199.3 MPH
 
DC: You called it Landon - Todd Cooke comes through and even gives us a triple-digit blast. And his teammate Jimi Jaks is going to come in second here after a much better shot! That puts the North American Conference up 2-0 after the first event.
 
Next up, we've got the Accuracy Shooting competition! Players will shoot until they hit all 4 targets. One point will go to the team with the winning player and one point to the overall winning team.
 
Your competitors for Accuracy Shooting are:
Molly the Cat (London) @JCarson -- 92 SC, 91 WS
Nikolas Kauppi (Prague) @Tetricide -- 88 SC, 90 WS
EU Conference Passer: Babay Shrimp (Riga) @Blazzer (91 PA)

Jason (DC) @Jason kranz -- 90 SC, 91 WS
Napoleon Dynamite (Los Angeles) @thadthrasher -- 88 SC, 93 WS)
NA Conference Passer: Randy Bobandy (Calgary) @AJW (89 PA)
 
RESULTS:
Molly the Cat: 4 for 4, 9.1 seconds
Nikolas Kauppi: 4 for 6, 15.5 seconds
EU Total: 8 for 10, 24.6 seconds
 
Jason: 4 for 5, 13.2 seconds
Napoleon Dynamite: 4 for 6, 14.2 seconds
NA Total: 8 for 11, 27.4 seconds
 
LF: Molly the Cat shows off the quick release on their wrist shot AND their deadly accuracy with a very impressive 4 for 4, and in just 9.1 seconds - a fantastic performance!
DC: The EU ties up the Skills Comp as they grab the team point for this one, too. It was a good performance by Jason here but this one shot here, their fourth attempt, just barely misses the target and rings the iron.
LF: It keeps things interesting though! 2-2 after two events. There are a lot of young fans in here right now having a great time, meeting the players and getting a competitive event. That's what it's all about!
DC: Well, now we shift our attention to the Fastest Skater competition! This one's a real fan favourite. Each player will get two attempts with only their best lap counting. As with the other events, one point goes to the team with the winning player and one to the overall winning team.
 
Let's meet the competitors for the Fastest Skater:
Jacob Stone (Malmo) @scoop-- 92 SK, 6'6 222
Daryl Dixon (Helsinki) @Ricer13 -- 90 SK, 5'10 170
Liv Slater (Vancouver) @Subject056 -- 88 SK, 5'9 148
The Frenchman (DC) @OrbitingDeath -- 90 SK, 5'11 170
 
ATTEMPT 1:
Jacob Stone: 17.206 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.069 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.401 seconds / The Frenchman: 15.209 seconds
 
DC: Jacob Stone might be the guy with the best top-end speed here but had some trouble with one of the corners and couldn't get it back together. Daryl Dixon had a lightning-quick lap with a real competitive time and it looked like The Frenchman just didn't get up to speed in time, they're capable of better, but let's see how this second run goes!
 
ATTEMPT 2:
Jacob Stone: 14.854 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.312 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.188 seconds / The Frenchman: 14.552 seconds
FINAL RESULTS:
Jacob Stone: 14.854 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.069 seconds / EU Total: 28.923 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.188 seconds / The Frenchman: 14.552 seconds / NA Total: 28.740 seconds
 
LF: Well, that was exciting! All four players really flew around the rink on that one. Three of them improved on their times.
DC: But ultimately nobody touches Daryl Dixon's first lap here! 14.069 is an excellent time. Liv Slater gave it a really good run, their acceleration and agility was clearly on display. The team score is very close here but it looks like the NA will take that point, countering the point Dixon gets for the EU.
LF: So we have a 3-3 tie! But now we get to the real good part...
DC: It's time for the Shootout competition! Each player will take two shootout attempts on the opposing netminder. One point is awarded for each goal scored!
 
Let's meet the players:
AK92 Wit da Hoodie (Riga) @hedgehog337 -- 94 PH, 78 PS
Left Alone (Moscow) @okochastar -- 90 PH, 80 PS
Alfred Champagne (Warsaw) @Anthique -- 88 PH, 78 PS
EU Goaltender: Fuukka Rask (Helsinki) @Jubis -- 64 PS
 
Skor McFleury (Calgary) @Alex -- 94 PH, 78 PS
Severus Targaryen (Seattle) @Banackock -- 85 PH, 74 PS
Mac Atlas (Toronto) @v.2  -- 92 PH, 80 PS
NA Goaltender: Art Vandelay (Los Angeles) @Gustav  -- 55 PS
 
DC: Coming in for their first attempt it's the VHL's current leading scorer, AK92 Wit da Hoodie.
LF: 30 goals and 62 points in 39 games so far this year, those are stunning numbers. You know they can put the puck in the net.
DC: A lovely little forehand-backhand move there and Vandelay is caught out of position! Chalk up a goal for the EU there!
And trying to match that now will be Skor McFleury of the Calgary Wranglers. McFleury comes in with speed and a flurry of moves!
LF: I see what you did there.
DC: He puts it past Rask and our score is now 4-4! Back to the EU Conference's turn, it's Left Alone. He skates in, toe drag, a great little move but Vandelay stones him! An excellent blocker save from Vandelay!
LF: So the North American Conference will have a chance to take the lead here. Severus Targaryen, second-year pro from the Seattle Bears will take the shot.
DC: It looks like he bobbles the puck here a bit picking it up but makes a nice recovery, walks in, takes the puck to the backhand but puts it wide.
LF: Rask gave him no room there, he tracked the puck really well all the way across. Targaryen was looking for whatever little space was there but there wasn't any.
DC: Alfred Champagne, the Warsaw representative here, will get a chance now. He skates in, fires a quick shot but it looks like Vandelay was ready for that one all the way.
Now we have Mac Atlas to take the shot. He's got Rask on his heels as he comes in fast, takes a shot and oh my! He scores! That shot couldn't have been placed any better.
LF: No chance for the goalie there, that's why Atlas has back-to-back 40-goal seasons.
DC: North America has a 5-4 lead here. We'll go in reverse order for the second try, so it's right back to Atlas. He's got the moves this time! Takes it out wide, comes back in, backhand-forehand-backhand and a lovely finish - that's two magnificent goals from Atlas. That one's really got the crowd going.
LF: And North America has a 6-4 edge. Champagne is back out to try to narrow the gap.
DC: Ohhhh and he wires it off the crossbar! A more promising effort than the first one but Champagne can't quite bulge the twine. It's a chance for the North American team to take a stranglehold here and Targaryen comes back out.
Targaryen comes in quick and - oh! Would you look at that, he tries to go between the legs and that would've been something magical but Rask wasn't fooled.
LF: A good job by Rask of staying in position with the fancy move happening right in front of him.
DC: Left Alone, driving out wide to the left side of the ice and now he slows it down as he cuts back in, fires and scores!
LF: Alone catches Vandelay here by changing the angle and beats him low blocker with a well-placed wrister. The lead is back down to one, it's 6-5 for North America.
DC: Skor McFleury coming back in here. Flying out wide, now cutting all the way back across the circles and he slides the puck through Rask!
LF: McFleury is so smooth out there, not hard to tell why he's one of the best defensemen in the league. He probably would've had a chance in the Fastest Skater and he put that speed to good use there, really put Rask in a bad spot.
DC: AK92 Wit da Hoodie is hoping to keep the lead at one before we get into the Breakaway Relay. He pulls up at the dots and tries a slapshot! And it works! Oh, the fans love that. He caught Vandelay off guard by going for the slapper there.
LF: And it was a heck of a shot, too! What a rocket.
DC: So with that, we have a 7-6 score in the skills comp. And we've got one final event to decide it all! It's the 3-on-0 Breakaway Relay. Teams of 2 forwards and 1 defenseman will take three 3-on-0 attempts against the opposing netminder, with one point awarded for each goal scored.
 
Here are the Breakaway Relay lineups!
Yaroslav Bogatyrev (Malmo) @Bojovnik-- 85 SK, 87 PH, 69 PA, 89 SC
Leonard Triller (London) @Triller-- 91 SK, 94 PH, 94 PA, 83 SC
Pierre Emile Bouchard (Helsinki) @Gaikoku-hito -- 84 SK, 91 PH, 85 PA, 87 SC
EU Goaltender: Lachlan Summers (Davos) @kirbithan
 
Francesco Mancini (New York) @GioSivo -- 87 SK, 86 PH, 91 PA, 86 SC
Yaroslav Trunov (Chicago) @qripll -- 80 SK, 88 PH, 67 PA, 85 SC
Mark Calaway (DC) @Beketov -- 87 SK, 90 PH, 68 PA, 90 SC
NA Goaltender: Merome Dilson (Calgary) @MexicanCow123
 
DC: And here we go! Triller picks the puck up at centre for Europe and he comes in fast! Pass to Bouchard, who one-touches it back to Triller, and oh my! He pulls Dilson out of position beautifully and sends a magnificant feed to Bogatyrev. That's a tap-in for Big Boga and our skills comp is tied.
LF: Triller led the league in assists last year and he's one of the most crafty players in a league where shooters get a lot of the attention. That right there is what a great playmaker can do!
DC: Mark Calaway moves the puck ahead to Trunov here and the NA team is in on Lachlan Summers. Trunov passes off to Mancini, he throws it back to Calaway who fakes a shot, passes back to Trunov, but the pass is a bit off and bounces away from Trunov, an unfortunate break there.
It looks like the EU is sticking with what's working as Triller picks the puck up with speed and flies over the line. Throws on the breaks and gives the puck to Bogatyrev, he sends it back to Bouchard and Bouchard rips the shot home! Suddenly, Europe has taken the lead!
LF: Nothing like a good back-and-forth competition!
DC: This time Mancini will run the play for North America. He fakes a shot and passes to Trunov who hesitates, drops it back for Calaway and he lets a rocket go! It's off the post and into the back of the net!
LF: Calaway is one of those guys with a great shot from the back end and he shows it off there. No defending that one!
DC: So, the teams are tied and we have one attempt each left.
LF: Oh, the drama! You know, it's just a skills competition but these guys are competitors. They don't want to lose, especially when it gets to the end and it's this close.
DC: Triller with a little razzle-dazzle as he puts on a spin move as he picks the puck up! He passes it to Bouchard, to Bogatyrev, back to Bouchard and back to Triller for the finish! Brilliant passing and the European Conference goes up 9-8!
LF: That right there is why a 3-on-0 is a goalie's worst nightmare. There's nothing Dilson can do about that. I talked about that Calaway shot earlier being impossible to defend, but this play here is just another level entirely.
DC: It's a must-score situation for the NA trio and Trunov picks the puck up. He runs a little give-and-go with Calaway, moves it over to Mancini. Mancini tries a move and OH NO! He lifts it just a shade over the net! Mancini had Summers beat but gets a bit too much on it.
LF: That was an excellent move and Summers here goes for the poke check, Mancini just gets around him, this probably should be a goal but he just got a little too excited there and skies it! What a finish.
DC: That's a tough one for Mancini, but at the end of the day, this event was for the fans and hey, they got their money's worth! A dazzling display of skills from the VHL's most talented players and a thrilling scoreline overall. Congrats to Team Europe for ultimately grabbing the 9-8 win - we hope you enjoyed the show!
 
---
 
2484 words so claiming for the next 4 weeks

Molly the Cat is a SNIPE 🔥

what a fantastic read! awesome work! 

Note beforehand: I selected players for this based on appropriate ratings, not stats - so it's entirely possible some of the players here are not having all-star calibre seasons, or players who deserve to be at the all-star game were not selected. Also, I made sure every team had at least one player in the skills comp, and the results were determined relatively randomly with some consideration given to the appropriate ratings... I didn't use any kind of script or anything for this. It's all just made up.
 
---
 
DC: Welcome to Los Angeles for the VHL All-Star Skills Competition! I'm Dan Callaghan for VSN and with me today is Landon Fairhaven. With players from each of the VHL's 16 teams in attendance competing for the All-Star Cup, testing their skills in a variety of different competitions, let's get right into the fun times!
LF: First up, we have the Hardest Shot competition. Competitors will get two attempts each and only the best will count. One point will go to the team with the winning player and one point will go to the overall winning team.
 
Your competitors for the Hardest Shot are:
John Jameson (Prague) @Frank-- 97 ST, 89 SC, 6'3 215
Wann Kerr (London) @VattghernCZ -- 99 ST, 88 SC, 5'9 189
Todd Cooke (Los Angeles) @KRZY-- 99 ST, 89 SC, 6'6 190
Jimi Jaks (Toronto) @ke1vi -- 99 ST, 90 SC, 6'0 190
 
ATTEMPT 1:
John Jameson 96.4 MPH / Wann Kerr 97.2 MPH
Todd Cooke 99.7 MPH / Jimi Jaks 81.4 MPH
 
DC: Well, Landon, three pretty good efforts there and then it looked like Jimi Jaks didn't get much on their attempt, but fortunately, they will all get another crack at it.
LF: Todd Cooke is probably the favourite in this event and got a pretty good blast off there! They'll be tough to beat. They're so strong and that 6'6 frame can really get a lot of leverage to rip a puck. Let's see what happens.
 
ATTEMPT 2:
John Jameson 98.5 MPH / Wann Kerr 95.4 MPH
Todd Cooke 100.1 MPH / Jimi Jaks 99.2 MPH
FINAL RESULTS:
John Jameson 98.5 MPH / Wann Kerr 97.2 MPH / EU Total: 195.7 MPH
Todd Cooke 100.1 MPH / Jimi Jaks 99.2 MPH / NA Total: 199.3 MPH
 
DC: You called it Landon - Todd Cooke comes through and even gives us a triple-digit blast. And his teammate Jimi Jaks is going to come in second here after a much better shot! That puts the North American Conference up 2-0 after the first event.
 
Next up, we've got the Accuracy Shooting competition! Players will shoot until they hit all 4 targets. One point will go to the team with the winning player and one point to the overall winning team.
 
Your competitors for Accuracy Shooting are:
Molly the Cat (London) @JCarson -- 92 SC, 91 WS
Nikolas Kauppi (Prague) @Tetricide -- 88 SC, 90 WS
EU Conference Passer: Babay Shrimp (Riga) @Blazzer (91 PA)

Jason (DC) @Jason kranz -- 90 SC, 91 WS
Napoleon Dynamite (Los Angeles) @thadthrasher -- 88 SC, 93 WS)
NA Conference Passer: Randy Bobandy (Calgary) @AJW (89 PA)
 
RESULTS:
Molly the Cat: 4 for 4, 9.1 seconds
Nikolas Kauppi: 4 for 6, 15.5 seconds
EU Total: 8 for 10, 24.6 seconds
 
Jason: 4 for 5, 13.2 seconds
Napoleon Dynamite: 4 for 6, 14.2 seconds
NA Total: 8 for 11, 27.4 seconds
 
LF: Molly the Cat shows off the quick release on their wrist shot AND their deadly accuracy with a very impressive 4 for 4, and in just 9.1 seconds - a fantastic performance!
DC: The EU ties up the Skills Comp as they grab the team point for this one, too. It was a good performance by Jason here but this one shot here, their fourth attempt, just barely misses the target and rings the iron.
LF: It keeps things interesting though! 2-2 after two events. There are a lot of young fans in here right now having a great time, meeting the players and getting a competitive event. That's what it's all about!
DC: Well, now we shift our attention to the Fastest Skater competition! This one's a real fan favourite. Each player will get two attempts with only their best lap counting. As with the other events, one point goes to the team with the winning player and one to the overall winning team.
 
Let's meet the competitors for the Fastest Skater:
Jacob Stone (Malmo) @scoop-- 92 SK, 6'6 222
Daryl Dixon (Helsinki) @Ricer13 -- 90 SK, 5'10 170
Liv Slater (Vancouver) @Subject056 -- 88 SK, 5'9 148
The Frenchman (DC) @OrbitingDeath -- 90 SK, 5'11 170
 
ATTEMPT 1:
Jacob Stone: 17.206 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.069 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.401 seconds / The Frenchman: 15.209 seconds
 
DC: Jacob Stone might be the guy with the best top-end speed here but had some trouble with one of the corners and couldn't get it back together. Daryl Dixon had a lightning-quick lap with a real competitive time and it looked like The Frenchman just didn't get up to speed in time, they're capable of better, but let's see how this second run goes!
 
ATTEMPT 2:
Jacob Stone: 14.854 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.312 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.188 seconds / The Frenchman: 14.552 seconds
FINAL RESULTS:
Jacob Stone: 14.854 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.069 seconds / EU Total: 28.923 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.188 seconds / The Frenchman: 14.552 seconds / NA Total: 28.740 seconds
 
LF: Well, that was exciting! All four players really flew around the rink on that one. Three of them improved on their times.
DC: But ultimately nobody touches Daryl Dixon's first lap here! 14.069 is an excellent time. Liv Slater gave it a really good run, their acceleration and agility was clearly on display. The team score is very close here but it looks like the NA will take that point, countering the point Dixon gets for the EU.
LF: So we have a 3-3 tie! But now we get to the real good part...
DC: It's time for the Shootout competition! Each player will take two shootout attempts on the opposing netminder. One point is awarded for each goal scored!
 
Let's meet the players:
AK92 Wit da Hoodie (Riga) @hedgehog337 -- 94 PH, 78 PS
Left Alone (Moscow) @okochastar -- 90 PH, 80 PS
Alfred Champagne (Warsaw) @Anthique -- 88 PH, 78 PS
EU Goaltender: Fuukka Rask (Helsinki) @Jubis -- 64 PS
 
Skor McFleury (Calgary) @Alex -- 94 PH, 78 PS
Severus Targaryen (Seattle) @Banackock -- 85 PH, 74 PS
Mac Atlas (Toronto) @v.2  -- 92 PH, 80 PS
NA Goaltender: Art Vandelay (Los Angeles) @Gustav  -- 55 PS
 
DC: Coming in for their first attempt it's the VHL's current leading scorer, AK92 Wit da Hoodie.
LF: 30 goals and 62 points in 39 games so far this year, those are stunning numbers. You know they can put the puck in the net.
DC: A lovely little forehand-backhand move there and Vandelay is caught out of position! Chalk up a goal for the EU there!
And trying to match that now will be Skor McFleury of the Calgary Wranglers. McFleury comes in with speed and a flurry of moves!
LF: I see what you did there.
DC: He puts it past Rask and our score is now 4-4! Back to the EU Conference's turn, it's Left Alone. He skates in, toe drag, a great little move but Vandelay stones him! An excellent blocker save from Vandelay!
LF: So the North American Conference will have a chance to take the lead here. Severus Targaryen, second-year pro from the Seattle Bears will take the shot.
DC: It looks like he bobbles the puck here a bit picking it up but makes a nice recovery, walks in, takes the puck to the backhand but puts it wide.
LF: Rask gave him no room there, he tracked the puck really well all the way across. Targaryen was looking for whatever little space was there but there wasn't any.
DC: Alfred Champagne, the Warsaw representative here, will get a chance now. He skates in, fires a quick shot but it looks like Vandelay was ready for that one all the way.
Now we have Mac Atlas to take the shot. He's got Rask on his heels as he comes in fast, takes a shot and oh my! He scores! That shot couldn't have been placed any better.
LF: No chance for the goalie there, that's why Atlas has back-to-back 40-goal seasons.
DC: North America has a 5-4 lead here. We'll go in reverse order for the second try, so it's right back to Atlas. He's got the moves this time! Takes it out wide, comes back in, backhand-forehand-backhand and a lovely finish - that's two magnificent goals from Atlas. That one's really got the crowd going.
LF: And North America has a 6-4 edge. Champagne is back out to try to narrow the gap.
DC: Ohhhh and he wires it off the crossbar! A more promising effort than the first one but Champagne can't quite bulge the twine. It's a chance for the North American team to take a stranglehold here and Targaryen comes back out.
Targaryen comes in quick and - oh! Would you look at that, he tries to go between the legs and that would've been something magical but Rask wasn't fooled.
LF: A good job by Rask of staying in position with the fancy move happening right in front of him.
DC: Left Alone, driving out wide to the left side of the ice and now he slows it down as he cuts back in, fires and scores!
LF: Alone catches Vandelay here by changing the angle and beats him low blocker with a well-placed wrister. The lead is back down to one, it's 6-5 for North America.
DC: Skor McFleury coming back in here. Flying out wide, now cutting all the way back across the circles and he slides the puck through Rask!
LF: McFleury is so smooth out there, not hard to tell why he's one of the best defensemen in the league. He probably would've had a chance in the Fastest Skater and he put that speed to good use there, really put Rask in a bad spot.
DC: AK92 Wit da Hoodie is hoping to keep the lead at one before we get into the Breakaway Relay. He pulls up at the dots and tries a slapshot! And it works! Oh, the fans love that. He caught Vandelay off guard by going for the slapper there.
LF: And it was a heck of a shot, too! What a rocket.
DC: So with that, we have a 7-6 score in the skills comp. And we've got one final event to decide it all! It's the 3-on-0 Breakaway Relay. Teams of 2 forwards and 1 defenseman will take three 3-on-0 attempts against the opposing netminder, with one point awarded for each goal scored.
 
Here are the Breakaway Relay lineups!
Yaroslav Bogatyrev (Malmo) @Bojovnik-- 85 SK, 87 PH, 69 PA, 89 SC
Leonard Triller (London) @Triller-- 91 SK, 94 PH, 94 PA, 83 SC
Pierre Emile Bouchard (Helsinki) @Gaikoku-hito -- 84 SK, 91 PH, 85 PA, 87 SC
EU Goaltender: Lachlan Summers (Davos) @kirbithan
 
Francesco Mancini (New York) @GioSivo -- 87 SK, 86 PH, 91 PA, 86 SC
Yaroslav Trunov (Chicago) @qripll -- 80 SK, 88 PH, 67 PA, 85 SC
Mark Calaway (DC) @Beketov -- 87 SK, 90 PH, 68 PA, 90 SC
NA Goaltender: Merome Dilson (Calgary) @MexicanCow123
 
DC: And here we go! Triller picks the puck up at centre for Europe and he comes in fast! Pass to Bouchard, who one-touches it back to Triller, and oh my! He pulls Dilson out of position beautifully and sends a magnificant feed to Bogatyrev. That's a tap-in for Big Boga and our skills comp is tied.
LF: Triller led the league in assists last year and he's one of the most crafty players in a league where shooters get a lot of the attention. That right there is what a great playmaker can do!
DC: Mark Calaway moves the puck ahead to Trunov here and the NA team is in on Lachlan Summers. Trunov passes off to Mancini, he throws it back to Calaway who fakes a shot, passes back to Trunov, but the pass is a bit off and bounces away from Trunov, an unfortunate break there.
It looks like the EU is sticking with what's working as Triller picks the puck up with speed and flies over the line. Throws on the breaks and gives the puck to Bogatyrev, he sends it back to Bouchard and Bouchard rips the shot home! Suddenly, Europe has taken the lead!
LF: Nothing like a good back-and-forth competition!
DC: This time Mancini will run the play for North America. He fakes a shot and passes to Trunov who hesitates, drops it back for Calaway and he lets a rocket go! It's off the post and into the back of the net!
LF: Calaway is one of those guys with a great shot from the back end and he shows it off there. No defending that one!
DC: So, the teams are tied and we have one attempt each left.
LF: Oh, the drama! You know, it's just a skills competition but these guys are competitors. They don't want to lose, especially when it gets to the end and it's this close.
DC: Triller with a little razzle-dazzle as he puts on a spin move as he picks the puck up! He passes it to Bouchard, to Bogatyrev, back to Bouchard and back to Triller for the finish! Brilliant passing and the European Conference goes up 9-8!
LF: That right there is why a 3-on-0 is a goalie's worst nightmare. There's nothing Dilson can do about that. I talked about that Calaway shot earlier being impossible to defend, but this play here is just another level entirely.
DC: It's a must-score situation for the NA trio and Trunov picks the puck up. He runs a little give-and-go with Calaway, moves it over to Mancini. Mancini tries a move and OH NO! He lifts it just a shade over the net! Mancini had Summers beat but gets a bit too much on it.
LF: That was an excellent move and Summers here goes for the poke check, Mancini just gets around him, this probably should be a goal but he just got a little too excited there and skies it! What a finish.
DC: That's a tough one for Mancini, but at the end of the day, this event was for the fans and hey, they got their money's worth! A dazzling display of skills from the VHL's most talented players and a thrilling scoreline overall. Congrats to Team Europe for ultimately grabbing the 9-8 win - we hope you enjoyed the show!
 
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2484 words so claiming for the next 4 weeks

Give me my TPE you clowns!
 

Note beforehand: I selected players for this based on appropriate ratings, not stats - so it's entirely possible some of the players here are not having all-star calibre seasons, or players who deserve to be at the all-star game were not selected. Also, I made sure every team had at least one player in the skills comp, and the results were determined relatively randomly with some consideration given to the appropriate ratings... I didn't use any kind of script or anything for this. It's all just made up.
 
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DC: Welcome to Los Angeles for the VHL All-Star Skills Competition! I'm Dan Callaghan for VSN and with me today is Landon Fairhaven. With players from each of the VHL's 16 teams in attendance competing for the All-Star Cup, testing their skills in a variety of different competitions, let's get right into the fun times!
LF: First up, we have the Hardest Shot competition. Competitors will get two attempts each and only the best will count. One point will go to the team with the winning player and one point will go to the overall winning team.
 
Your competitors for the Hardest Shot are:
John Jameson (Prague) @Frank-- 97 ST, 89 SC, 6'3 215
Wann Kerr (London) @VattghernCZ -- 99 ST, 88 SC, 5'9 189
Todd Cooke (Los Angeles) @KRZY-- 99 ST, 89 SC, 6'6 190
Jimi Jaks (Toronto) @ke1vi -- 99 ST, 90 SC, 6'0 190
 
ATTEMPT 1:
John Jameson 96.4 MPH / Wann Kerr 97.2 MPH
Todd Cooke 99.7 MPH / Jimi Jaks 81.4 MPH
 
DC: Well, Landon, three pretty good efforts there and then it looked like Jimi Jaks didn't get much on their attempt, but fortunately, they will all get another crack at it.
LF: Todd Cooke is probably the favourite in this event and got a pretty good blast off there! They'll be tough to beat. They're so strong and that 6'6 frame can really get a lot of leverage to rip a puck. Let's see what happens.
 
ATTEMPT 2:
John Jameson 98.5 MPH / Wann Kerr 95.4 MPH
Todd Cooke 100.1 MPH / Jimi Jaks 99.2 MPH
FINAL RESULTS:
John Jameson 98.5 MPH / Wann Kerr 97.2 MPH / EU Total: 195.7 MPH
Todd Cooke 100.1 MPH / Jimi Jaks 99.2 MPH / NA Total: 199.3 MPH
 
DC: You called it Landon - Todd Cooke comes through and even gives us a triple-digit blast. And his teammate Jimi Jaks is going to come in second here after a much better shot! That puts the North American Conference up 2-0 after the first event.
 
Next up, we've got the Accuracy Shooting competition! Players will shoot until they hit all 4 targets. One point will go to the team with the winning player and one point to the overall winning team.
 
Your competitors for Accuracy Shooting are:
Molly the Cat (London) @JCarson -- 92 SC, 91 WS
Nikolas Kauppi (Prague) @Tetricide -- 88 SC, 90 WS
EU Conference Passer: Babay Shrimp (Riga) @Blazzer (91 PA)

Jason (DC) @Jason kranz -- 90 SC, 91 WS
Napoleon Dynamite (Los Angeles) @thadthrasher -- 88 SC, 93 WS)
NA Conference Passer: Randy Bobandy (Calgary) @AJW (89 PA)
 
RESULTS:
Molly the Cat: 4 for 4, 9.1 seconds
Nikolas Kauppi: 4 for 6, 15.5 seconds
EU Total: 8 for 10, 24.6 seconds
 
Jason: 4 for 5, 13.2 seconds
Napoleon Dynamite: 4 for 6, 14.2 seconds
NA Total: 8 for 11, 27.4 seconds
 
LF: Molly the Cat shows off the quick release on their wrist shot AND their deadly accuracy with a very impressive 4 for 4, and in just 9.1 seconds - a fantastic performance!
DC: The EU ties up the Skills Comp as they grab the team point for this one, too. It was a good performance by Jason here but this one shot here, their fourth attempt, just barely misses the target and rings the iron.
LF: It keeps things interesting though! 2-2 after two events. There are a lot of young fans in here right now having a great time, meeting the players and getting a competitive event. That's what it's all about!
DC: Well, now we shift our attention to the Fastest Skater competition! This one's a real fan favourite. Each player will get two attempts with only their best lap counting. As with the other events, one point goes to the team with the winning player and one to the overall winning team.
 
Let's meet the competitors for the Fastest Skater:
Jacob Stone (Malmo) @scoop-- 92 SK, 6'6 222
Daryl Dixon (Helsinki) @Ricer13 -- 90 SK, 5'10 170
Liv Slater (Vancouver) @Subject056 -- 88 SK, 5'9 148
The Frenchman (DC) @OrbitingDeath -- 90 SK, 5'11 170
 
ATTEMPT 1:
Jacob Stone: 17.206 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.069 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.401 seconds / The Frenchman: 15.209 seconds
 
DC: Jacob Stone might be the guy with the best top-end speed here but had some trouble with one of the corners and couldn't get it back together. Daryl Dixon had a lightning-quick lap with a real competitive time and it looked like The Frenchman just didn't get up to speed in time, they're capable of better, but let's see how this second run goes!
 
ATTEMPT 2:
Jacob Stone: 14.854 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.312 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.188 seconds / The Frenchman: 14.552 seconds
FINAL RESULTS:
Jacob Stone: 14.854 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.069 seconds / EU Total: 28.923 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.188 seconds / The Frenchman: 14.552 seconds / NA Total: 28.740 seconds
 
LF: Well, that was exciting! All four players really flew around the rink on that one. Three of them improved on their times.
DC: But ultimately nobody touches Daryl Dixon's first lap here! 14.069 is an excellent time. Liv Slater gave it a really good run, their acceleration and agility was clearly on display. The team score is very close here but it looks like the NA will take that point, countering the point Dixon gets for the EU.
LF: So we have a 3-3 tie! But now we get to the real good part...
DC: It's time for the Shootout competition! Each player will take two shootout attempts on the opposing netminder. One point is awarded for each goal scored!
 
Let's meet the players:
AK92 Wit da Hoodie (Riga) @hedgehog337 -- 94 PH, 78 PS
Left Alone (Moscow) @okochastar -- 90 PH, 80 PS
Alfred Champagne (Warsaw) @Anthique -- 88 PH, 78 PS
EU Goaltender: Fuukka Rask (Helsinki) @Jubis -- 64 PS
 
Skor McFleury (Calgary) @Alex -- 94 PH, 78 PS
Severus Targaryen (Seattle) @Banackock -- 85 PH, 74 PS
Mac Atlas (Toronto) @v.2  -- 92 PH, 80 PS
NA Goaltender: Art Vandelay (Los Angeles) @Gustav  -- 55 PS
 
DC: Coming in for their first attempt it's the VHL's current leading scorer, AK92 Wit da Hoodie.
LF: 30 goals and 62 points in 39 games so far this year, those are stunning numbers. You know they can put the puck in the net.
DC: A lovely little forehand-backhand move there and Vandelay is caught out of position! Chalk up a goal for the EU there!
And trying to match that now will be Skor McFleury of the Calgary Wranglers. McFleury comes in with speed and a flurry of moves!
LF: I see what you did there.
DC: He puts it past Rask and our score is now 4-4! Back to the EU Conference's turn, it's Left Alone. He skates in, toe drag, a great little move but Vandelay stones him! An excellent blocker save from Vandelay!
LF: So the North American Conference will have a chance to take the lead here. Severus Targaryen, second-year pro from the Seattle Bears will take the shot.
DC: It looks like he bobbles the puck here a bit picking it up but makes a nice recovery, walks in, takes the puck to the backhand but puts it wide.
LF: Rask gave him no room there, he tracked the puck really well all the way across. Targaryen was looking for whatever little space was there but there wasn't any.
DC: Alfred Champagne, the Warsaw representative here, will get a chance now. He skates in, fires a quick shot but it looks like Vandelay was ready for that one all the way.
Now we have Mac Atlas to take the shot. He's got Rask on his heels as he comes in fast, takes a shot and oh my! He scores! That shot couldn't have been placed any better.
LF: No chance for the goalie there, that's why Atlas has back-to-back 40-goal seasons.
DC: North America has a 5-4 lead here. We'll go in reverse order for the second try, so it's right back to Atlas. He's got the moves this time! Takes it out wide, comes back in, backhand-forehand-backhand and a lovely finish - that's two magnificent goals from Atlas. That one's really got the crowd going.
LF: And North America has a 6-4 edge. Champagne is back out to try to narrow the gap.
DC: Ohhhh and he wires it off the crossbar! A more promising effort than the first one but Champagne can't quite bulge the twine. It's a chance for the North American team to take a stranglehold here and Targaryen comes back out.
Targaryen comes in quick and - oh! Would you look at that, he tries to go between the legs and that would've been something magical but Rask wasn't fooled.
LF: A good job by Rask of staying in position with the fancy move happening right in front of him.
DC: Left Alone, driving out wide to the left side of the ice and now he slows it down as he cuts back in, fires and scores!
LF: Alone catches Vandelay here by changing the angle and beats him low blocker with a well-placed wrister. The lead is back down to one, it's 6-5 for North America.
DC: Skor McFleury coming back in here. Flying out wide, now cutting all the way back across the circles and he slides the puck through Rask!
LF: McFleury is so smooth out there, not hard to tell why he's one of the best defensemen in the league. He probably would've had a chance in the Fastest Skater and he put that speed to good use there, really put Rask in a bad spot.
DC: AK92 Wit da Hoodie is hoping to keep the lead at one before we get into the Breakaway Relay. He pulls up at the dots and tries a slapshot! And it works! Oh, the fans love that. He caught Vandelay off guard by going for the slapper there.
LF: And it was a heck of a shot, too! What a rocket.
DC: So with that, we have a 7-6 score in the skills comp. And we've got one final event to decide it all! It's the 3-on-0 Breakaway Relay. Teams of 2 forwards and 1 defenseman will take three 3-on-0 attempts against the opposing netminder, with one point awarded for each goal scored.
 
Here are the Breakaway Relay lineups!
Yaroslav Bogatyrev (Malmo) @Bojovnik-- 85 SK, 87 PH, 69 PA, 89 SC
Leonard Triller (London) @Triller-- 91 SK, 94 PH, 94 PA, 83 SC
Pierre Emile Bouchard (Helsinki) @Gaikoku-hito -- 84 SK, 91 PH, 85 PA, 87 SC
EU Goaltender: Lachlan Summers (Davos) @kirbithan
 
Francesco Mancini (New York) @GioSivo -- 87 SK, 86 PH, 91 PA, 86 SC
Yaroslav Trunov (Chicago) @qripll -- 80 SK, 88 PH, 67 PA, 85 SC
Mark Calaway (DC) @Beketov -- 87 SK, 90 PH, 68 PA, 90 SC
NA Goaltender: Merome Dilson (Calgary) @MexicanCow123
 
DC: And here we go! Triller picks the puck up at centre for Europe and he comes in fast! Pass to Bouchard, who one-touches it back to Triller, and oh my! He pulls Dilson out of position beautifully and sends a magnificant feed to Bogatyrev. That's a tap-in for Big Boga and our skills comp is tied.
LF: Triller led the league in assists last year and he's one of the most crafty players in a league where shooters get a lot of the attention. That right there is what a great playmaker can do!
DC: Mark Calaway moves the puck ahead to Trunov here and the NA team is in on Lachlan Summers. Trunov passes off to Mancini, he throws it back to Calaway who fakes a shot, passes back to Trunov, but the pass is a bit off and bounces away from Trunov, an unfortunate break there.
It looks like the EU is sticking with what's working as Triller picks the puck up with speed and flies over the line. Throws on the breaks and gives the puck to Bogatyrev, he sends it back to Bouchard and Bouchard rips the shot home! Suddenly, Europe has taken the lead!
LF: Nothing like a good back-and-forth competition!
DC: This time Mancini will run the play for North America. He fakes a shot and passes to Trunov who hesitates, drops it back for Calaway and he lets a rocket go! It's off the post and into the back of the net!
LF: Calaway is one of those guys with a great shot from the back end and he shows it off there. No defending that one!
DC: So, the teams are tied and we have one attempt each left.
LF: Oh, the drama! You know, it's just a skills competition but these guys are competitors. They don't want to lose, especially when it gets to the end and it's this close.
DC: Triller with a little razzle-dazzle as he puts on a spin move as he picks the puck up! He passes it to Bouchard, to Bogatyrev, back to Bouchard and back to Triller for the finish! Brilliant passing and the European Conference goes up 9-8!
LF: That right there is why a 3-on-0 is a goalie's worst nightmare. There's nothing Dilson can do about that. I talked about that Calaway shot earlier being impossible to defend, but this play here is just another level entirely.
DC: It's a must-score situation for the NA trio and Trunov picks the puck up. He runs a little give-and-go with Calaway, moves it over to Mancini. Mancini tries a move and OH NO! He lifts it just a shade over the net! Mancini had Summers beat but gets a bit too much on it.
LF: That was an excellent move and Summers here goes for the poke check, Mancini just gets around him, this probably should be a goal but he just got a little too excited there and skies it! What a finish.
DC: That's a tough one for Mancini, but at the end of the day, this event was for the fans and hey, they got their money's worth! A dazzling display of skills from the VHL's most talented players and a thrilling scoreline overall. Congrats to Team Europe for ultimately grabbing the 9-8 win - we hope you enjoyed the show!
 
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2484 words so claiming for the next 4 weeks

Earlier today I named my S92 VHLM All-Stars.  In the same media spot, I also named a group of First Team All-Stars-- the top players at each position from the entire VHLM.  In this short post, I want to specifically highlight this group of 6 players and add some shine to their star as they've all had exceptional seasons in the VHLM to this point.
 
VHLM FIrst Team All-Stars
 
(LW) Forum Content - (C) Antonia Bucatini - (RW) Yermolai Nabokov
(D) Bric Sheithaus - (D) Bilbo Teebaggins
(G) Jorgen Lovstrom
 
Forum Content (LW) @frescoelmo - Saskatoon Wild: In S92 in the VHLM, Forum Content has paced the league basically from day one.  With 20 goals, 41 assists, and 61 points, Forum Content has been the focal point of the Saskatoon offense all season alongside Annie Oaks.  HIs league leading performance is made all the more impressive as he sits at 178 TPA with room to improve still.  Eligible for the S93 VHL Draft, Forum Content will be near the top of many scouts' lists as they consider which player represents the future of their franchise.
 
Antonia Bucatini (C) @CowboyinAmerica - Halifax 21st: The top scoring center in the VHLM, Bucatini has shown exceptional scoring prowess all season long.  Selected 1st overall by Halifax in the S92 VHLM draft, Bucatini has lived up to expectations, leading their team in scoring as well as leading the league in shots on goal with an absurd 257 in 38 games!  With 26 goals, Bucatini is one of the VHLM's premier goal scorers and it's scary to think of how productive they could be on a better team as Halifax has really struggled this season.  
 
Yermolai Nabokov (RW) @fonziGG - Philadelphia Reapers: At right wing, nobody has been better than Yermolai Nabokov who has  26 goals and 33 assists for 59 points in 38 games.  Despite what the funky names on this Reapers' roster might suggest, Nabokov is the engine of this Philly offense.  With a balanced mix of passing and scoring ability, Nabokov is a threat any time he is on the ice and is a big part of the Reapers' success in S92.  Like Forum Content, at 167 TPA, Nabokov has room to grow and could even challenge for the league scoring title by the end of this regular season.  Also eligible for the VHL draft, it would be a shock not to see him among the top selections this coming offseason.
 
Bric Sheithaus (D) @Oldhead91 - Las Vegas Aces: In his 3rd season in the VHLM, Sheithaus has found another level with 53 points in 38 games.  He leads all defensemen in points and all players with 42 assists.  Drafted 7th overall by Riga in the S91 draft, Sheithaus still has not made the leap to the big leagues and remains at 188 TPA.  His performance this season, however, speaks to his growth as a player and his effectiveness as he has been a major factor in Vegas' success this season.  
 
Bilbo Teebaggins (D) @SackButter - Miami Marauders: With only 96 TPA, Teebaggins has been playing out of his skin.  The second highest scoring defender with 12 goals, 34 assists, and 46 points in 38 games, he has factored into the Miami offense on a nightly basis.  While there may be questions about whether he can repeat this success in the second half, Teebaggins deserves credit for his performance thus far and has the potential to be a difference maker at the next level if he can take the next step forward in his development.
 
Jorgen Lovstrom (G) @Pifferfish - Philadelphia Reapers: Lovstrom is the best goalie in the VHLM right now and there isn't much debate.  With league leading numbers like a .919%, 2.35 GAA, 1 SO, and 27 Wins, no other goalie is on his level right now.  At 142 TPA, Lovstrom looks to be the top draft eligible goalie in the upcoming VHL draft and will certainly have his name in the conversation for some personal hardware if his play follows its current trend.  A native of Greenland, Lovstrom has the potential to be a top goalie at the highest levels and will definitely be a player to watch in seasons to come.  
 
*Honorable Mention: At the time of writing I did not notice that Jean-Pierre Devote's @eagle_3450 points with Mississauga were not included in his total points on the leaders page.  His total points would actually have him on par with Forum Content for the VHLM lead, but with 31G-30A-61P.  I'm not going to change my selections retroactively, but I just thought I should acknowledge the mistake and say that he would have been much more seriously in consideration had I realized this when I made the picks.  
 
 
Lauren Lambert for VHL.com
02/04/24

Note beforehand: I selected players for this based on appropriate ratings, not stats - so it's entirely possible some of the players here are not having all-star calibre seasons, or players who deserve to be at the all-star game were not selected. Also, I made sure every team had at least one player in the skills comp, and the results were determined relatively randomly with some consideration given to the appropriate ratings... I didn't use any kind of script or anything for this. It's all just made up.
 
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DC: Welcome to Los Angeles for the VHL All-Star Skills Competition! I'm Dan Callaghan for VSN and with me today is Landon Fairhaven. With players from each of the VHL's 16 teams in attendance competing for the All-Star Cup, testing their skills in a variety of different competitions, let's get right into the fun times!
LF: First up, we have the Hardest Shot competition. Competitors will get two attempts each and only the best will count. One point will go to the team with the winning player and one point will go to the overall winning team.
 
Your competitors for the Hardest Shot are:
John Jameson (Prague) @Frank-- 97 ST, 89 SC, 6'3 215
Wann Kerr (London) @VattghernCZ -- 99 ST, 88 SC, 5'9 189
Todd Cooke (Los Angeles) @KRZY-- 99 ST, 89 SC, 6'6 190
Jimi Jaks (Toronto) @ke1vi -- 99 ST, 90 SC, 6'0 190
 
ATTEMPT 1:
John Jameson 96.4 MPH / Wann Kerr 97.2 MPH
Todd Cooke 99.7 MPH / Jimi Jaks 81.4 MPH
 
DC: Well, Landon, three pretty good efforts there and then it looked like Jimi Jaks didn't get much on their attempt, but fortunately, they will all get another crack at it.
LF: Todd Cooke is probably the favourite in this event and got a pretty good blast off there! They'll be tough to beat. They're so strong and that 6'6 frame can really get a lot of leverage to rip a puck. Let's see what happens.
 
ATTEMPT 2:
John Jameson 98.5 MPH / Wann Kerr 95.4 MPH
Todd Cooke 100.1 MPH / Jimi Jaks 99.2 MPH
FINAL RESULTS:
John Jameson 98.5 MPH / Wann Kerr 97.2 MPH / EU Total: 195.7 MPH
Todd Cooke 100.1 MPH / Jimi Jaks 99.2 MPH / NA Total: 199.3 MPH
 
DC: You called it Landon - Todd Cooke comes through and even gives us a triple-digit blast. And his teammate Jimi Jaks is going to come in second here after a much better shot! That puts the North American Conference up 2-0 after the first event.
 
Next up, we've got the Accuracy Shooting competition! Players will shoot until they hit all 4 targets. One point will go to the team with the winning player and one point to the overall winning team.
 
Your competitors for Accuracy Shooting are:
Molly the Cat (London) @JCarson -- 92 SC, 91 WS
Nikolas Kauppi (Prague) @Tetricide -- 88 SC, 90 WS
EU Conference Passer: Babay Shrimp (Riga) @Blazzer (91 PA)

Jason (DC) @Jason kranz -- 90 SC, 91 WS
Napoleon Dynamite (Los Angeles) @thadthrasher -- 88 SC, 93 WS)
NA Conference Passer: Randy Bobandy (Calgary) @AJW (89 PA)
 
RESULTS:
Molly the Cat: 4 for 4, 9.1 seconds
Nikolas Kauppi: 4 for 6, 15.5 seconds
EU Total: 8 for 10, 24.6 seconds
 
Jason: 4 for 5, 13.2 seconds
Napoleon Dynamite: 4 for 6, 14.2 seconds
NA Total: 8 for 11, 27.4 seconds
 
LF: Molly the Cat shows off the quick release on their wrist shot AND their deadly accuracy with a very impressive 4 for 4, and in just 9.1 seconds - a fantastic performance!
DC: The EU ties up the Skills Comp as they grab the team point for this one, too. It was a good performance by Jason here but this one shot here, their fourth attempt, just barely misses the target and rings the iron.
LF: It keeps things interesting though! 2-2 after two events. There are a lot of young fans in here right now having a great time, meeting the players and getting a competitive event. That's what it's all about!
DC: Well, now we shift our attention to the Fastest Skater competition! This one's a real fan favourite. Each player will get two attempts with only their best lap counting. As with the other events, one point goes to the team with the winning player and one to the overall winning team.
 
Let's meet the competitors for the Fastest Skater:
Jacob Stone (Malmo) @scoop-- 92 SK, 6'6 222
Daryl Dixon (Helsinki) @Ricer13 -- 90 SK, 5'10 170
Liv Slater (Vancouver) @Subject056 -- 88 SK, 5'9 148
The Frenchman (DC) @OrbitingDeath -- 90 SK, 5'11 170
 
ATTEMPT 1:
Jacob Stone: 17.206 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.069 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.401 seconds / The Frenchman: 15.209 seconds
 
DC: Jacob Stone might be the guy with the best top-end speed here but had some trouble with one of the corners and couldn't get it back together. Daryl Dixon had a lightning-quick lap with a real competitive time and it looked like The Frenchman just didn't get up to speed in time, they're capable of better, but let's see how this second run goes!
 
ATTEMPT 2:
Jacob Stone: 14.854 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.312 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.188 seconds / The Frenchman: 14.552 seconds
FINAL RESULTS:
Jacob Stone: 14.854 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.069 seconds / EU Total: 28.923 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.188 seconds / The Frenchman: 14.552 seconds / NA Total: 28.740 seconds
 
LF: Well, that was exciting! All four players really flew around the rink on that one. Three of them improved on their times.
DC: But ultimately nobody touches Daryl Dixon's first lap here! 14.069 is an excellent time. Liv Slater gave it a really good run, their acceleration and agility was clearly on display. The team score is very close here but it looks like the NA will take that point, countering the point Dixon gets for the EU.
LF: So we have a 3-3 tie! But now we get to the real good part...
DC: It's time for the Shootout competition! Each player will take two shootout attempts on the opposing netminder. One point is awarded for each goal scored!
 
Let's meet the players:
AK92 Wit da Hoodie (Riga) @hedgehog337 -- 94 PH, 78 PS
Left Alone (Moscow) @okochastar -- 90 PH, 80 PS
Alfred Champagne (Warsaw) @Anthique -- 88 PH, 78 PS
EU Goaltender: Fuukka Rask (Helsinki) @Jubis -- 64 PS
 
Skor McFleury (Calgary) @Alex -- 94 PH, 78 PS
Severus Targaryen (Seattle) @Banackock -- 85 PH, 74 PS
Mac Atlas (Toronto) @v.2  -- 92 PH, 80 PS
NA Goaltender: Art Vandelay (Los Angeles) @Gustav  -- 55 PS
 
DC: Coming in for their first attempt it's the VHL's current leading scorer, AK92 Wit da Hoodie.
LF: 30 goals and 62 points in 39 games so far this year, those are stunning numbers. You know they can put the puck in the net.
DC: A lovely little forehand-backhand move there and Vandelay is caught out of position! Chalk up a goal for the EU there!
And trying to match that now will be Skor McFleury of the Calgary Wranglers. McFleury comes in with speed and a flurry of moves!
LF: I see what you did there.
DC: He puts it past Rask and our score is now 4-4! Back to the EU Conference's turn, it's Left Alone. He skates in, toe drag, a great little move but Vandelay stones him! An excellent blocker save from Vandelay!
LF: So the North American Conference will have a chance to take the lead here. Severus Targaryen, second-year pro from the Seattle Bears will take the shot.
DC: It looks like he bobbles the puck here a bit picking it up but makes a nice recovery, walks in, takes the puck to the backhand but puts it wide.
LF: Rask gave him no room there, he tracked the puck really well all the way across. Targaryen was looking for whatever little space was there but there wasn't any.
DC: Alfred Champagne, the Warsaw representative here, will get a chance now. He skates in, fires a quick shot but it looks like Vandelay was ready for that one all the way.
Now we have Mac Atlas to take the shot. He's got Rask on his heels as he comes in fast, takes a shot and oh my! He scores! That shot couldn't have been placed any better.
LF: No chance for the goalie there, that's why Atlas has back-to-back 40-goal seasons.
DC: North America has a 5-4 lead here. We'll go in reverse order for the second try, so it's right back to Atlas. He's got the moves this time! Takes it out wide, comes back in, backhand-forehand-backhand and a lovely finish - that's two magnificent goals from Atlas. That one's really got the crowd going.
LF: And North America has a 6-4 edge. Champagne is back out to try to narrow the gap.
DC: Ohhhh and he wires it off the crossbar! A more promising effort than the first one but Champagne can't quite bulge the twine. It's a chance for the North American team to take a stranglehold here and Targaryen comes back out.
Targaryen comes in quick and - oh! Would you look at that, he tries to go between the legs and that would've been something magical but Rask wasn't fooled.
LF: A good job by Rask of staying in position with the fancy move happening right in front of him.
DC: Left Alone, driving out wide to the left side of the ice and now he slows it down as he cuts back in, fires and scores!
LF: Alone catches Vandelay here by changing the angle and beats him low blocker with a well-placed wrister. The lead is back down to one, it's 6-5 for North America.
DC: Skor McFleury coming back in here. Flying out wide, now cutting all the way back across the circles and he slides the puck through Rask!
LF: McFleury is so smooth out there, not hard to tell why he's one of the best defensemen in the league. He probably would've had a chance in the Fastest Skater and he put that speed to good use there, really put Rask in a bad spot.
DC: AK92 Wit da Hoodie is hoping to keep the lead at one before we get into the Breakaway Relay. He pulls up at the dots and tries a slapshot! And it works! Oh, the fans love that. He caught Vandelay off guard by going for the slapper there.
LF: And it was a heck of a shot, too! What a rocket.
DC: So with that, we have a 7-6 score in the skills comp. And we've got one final event to decide it all! It's the 3-on-0 Breakaway Relay. Teams of 2 forwards and 1 defenseman will take three 3-on-0 attempts against the opposing netminder, with one point awarded for each goal scored.
 
Here are the Breakaway Relay lineups!
Yaroslav Bogatyrev (Malmo) @Bojovnik-- 85 SK, 87 PH, 69 PA, 89 SC
Leonard Triller (London) @Triller-- 91 SK, 94 PH, 94 PA, 83 SC
Pierre Emile Bouchard (Helsinki) @Gaikoku-hito -- 84 SK, 91 PH, 85 PA, 87 SC
EU Goaltender: Lachlan Summers (Davos) @kirbithan
 
Francesco Mancini (New York) @GioSivo -- 87 SK, 86 PH, 91 PA, 86 SC
Yaroslav Trunov (Chicago) @qripll -- 80 SK, 88 PH, 67 PA, 85 SC
Mark Calaway (DC) @Beketov -- 87 SK, 90 PH, 68 PA, 90 SC
NA Goaltender: Merome Dilson (Calgary) @MexicanCow123
 
DC: And here we go! Triller picks the puck up at centre for Europe and he comes in fast! Pass to Bouchard, who one-touches it back to Triller, and oh my! He pulls Dilson out of position beautifully and sends a magnificant feed to Bogatyrev. That's a tap-in for Big Boga and our skills comp is tied.
LF: Triller led the league in assists last year and he's one of the most crafty players in a league where shooters get a lot of the attention. That right there is what a great playmaker can do!
DC: Mark Calaway moves the puck ahead to Trunov here and the NA team is in on Lachlan Summers. Trunov passes off to Mancini, he throws it back to Calaway who fakes a shot, passes back to Trunov, but the pass is a bit off and bounces away from Trunov, an unfortunate break there.
It looks like the EU is sticking with what's working as Triller picks the puck up with speed and flies over the line. Throws on the breaks and gives the puck to Bogatyrev, he sends it back to Bouchard and Bouchard rips the shot home! Suddenly, Europe has taken the lead!
LF: Nothing like a good back-and-forth competition!
DC: This time Mancini will run the play for North America. He fakes a shot and passes to Trunov who hesitates, drops it back for Calaway and he lets a rocket go! It's off the post and into the back of the net!
LF: Calaway is one of those guys with a great shot from the back end and he shows it off there. No defending that one!
DC: So, the teams are tied and we have one attempt each left.
LF: Oh, the drama! You know, it's just a skills competition but these guys are competitors. They don't want to lose, especially when it gets to the end and it's this close.
DC: Triller with a little razzle-dazzle as he puts on a spin move as he picks the puck up! He passes it to Bouchard, to Bogatyrev, back to Bouchard and back to Triller for the finish! Brilliant passing and the European Conference goes up 9-8!
LF: That right there is why a 3-on-0 is a goalie's worst nightmare. There's nothing Dilson can do about that. I talked about that Calaway shot earlier being impossible to defend, but this play here is just another level entirely.
DC: It's a must-score situation for the NA trio and Trunov picks the puck up. He runs a little give-and-go with Calaway, moves it over to Mancini. Mancini tries a move and OH NO! He lifts it just a shade over the net! Mancini had Summers beat but gets a bit too much on it.
LF: That was an excellent move and Summers here goes for the poke check, Mancini just gets around him, this probably should be a goal but he just got a little too excited there and skies it! What a finish.
DC: That's a tough one for Mancini, but at the end of the day, this event was for the fans and hey, they got their money's worth! A dazzling display of skills from the VHL's most talented players and a thrilling scoreline overall. Congrats to Team Europe for ultimately grabbing the 9-8 win - we hope you enjoyed the show!
 
---
 
2484 words so claiming for the next 4 weeks

Note beforehand: I selected players for this based on appropriate ratings, not stats - so it's entirely possible some of the players here are not having all-star calibre seasons, or players who deserve to be at the all-star game were not selected. Also, I made sure every team had at least one player in the skills comp, and the results were determined relatively randomly with some consideration given to the appropriate ratings... I didn't use any kind of script or anything for this. It's all just made up.
 
---
 
DC: Welcome to Los Angeles for the VHL All-Star Skills Competition! I'm Dan Callaghan for VSN and with me today is Landon Fairhaven. With players from each of the VHL's 16 teams in attendance competing for the All-Star Cup, testing their skills in a variety of different competitions, let's get right into the fun times!
LF: First up, we have the Hardest Shot competition. Competitors will get two attempts each and only the best will count. One point will go to the team with the winning player and one point will go to the overall winning team.
 
Your competitors for the Hardest Shot are:
John Jameson (Prague) @Frank-- 97 ST, 89 SC, 6'3 215
Wann Kerr (London) @VattghernCZ -- 99 ST, 88 SC, 5'9 189
Todd Cooke (Los Angeles) @KRZY-- 99 ST, 89 SC, 6'6 190
Jimi Jaks (Toronto) @ke1vi -- 99 ST, 90 SC, 6'0 190
 
ATTEMPT 1:
John Jameson 96.4 MPH / Wann Kerr 97.2 MPH
Todd Cooke 99.7 MPH / Jimi Jaks 81.4 MPH
 
DC: Well, Landon, three pretty good efforts there and then it looked like Jimi Jaks didn't get much on their attempt, but fortunately, they will all get another crack at it.
LF: Todd Cooke is probably the favourite in this event and got a pretty good blast off there! They'll be tough to beat. They're so strong and that 6'6 frame can really get a lot of leverage to rip a puck. Let's see what happens.
 
ATTEMPT 2:
John Jameson 98.5 MPH / Wann Kerr 95.4 MPH
Todd Cooke 100.1 MPH / Jimi Jaks 99.2 MPH
FINAL RESULTS:
John Jameson 98.5 MPH / Wann Kerr 97.2 MPH / EU Total: 195.7 MPH
Todd Cooke 100.1 MPH / Jimi Jaks 99.2 MPH / NA Total: 199.3 MPH
 
DC: You called it Landon - Todd Cooke comes through and even gives us a triple-digit blast. And his teammate Jimi Jaks is going to come in second here after a much better shot! That puts the North American Conference up 2-0 after the first event.
 
Next up, we've got the Accuracy Shooting competition! Players will shoot until they hit all 4 targets. One point will go to the team with the winning player and one point to the overall winning team.
 
Your competitors for Accuracy Shooting are:
Molly the Cat (London) @JCarson -- 92 SC, 91 WS
Nikolas Kauppi (Prague) @Tetricide -- 88 SC, 90 WS
EU Conference Passer: Babay Shrimp (Riga) @Blazzer (91 PA)

Jason (DC) @Jason kranz -- 90 SC, 91 WS
Napoleon Dynamite (Los Angeles) @thadthrasher -- 88 SC, 93 WS)
NA Conference Passer: Randy Bobandy (Calgary) @AJW (89 PA)
 
RESULTS:
Molly the Cat: 4 for 4, 9.1 seconds
Nikolas Kauppi: 4 for 6, 15.5 seconds
EU Total: 8 for 10, 24.6 seconds
 
Jason: 4 for 5, 13.2 seconds
Napoleon Dynamite: 4 for 6, 14.2 seconds
NA Total: 8 for 11, 27.4 seconds
 
LF: Molly the Cat shows off the quick release on their wrist shot AND their deadly accuracy with a very impressive 4 for 4, and in just 9.1 seconds - a fantastic performance!
DC: The EU ties up the Skills Comp as they grab the team point for this one, too. It was a good performance by Jason here but this one shot here, their fourth attempt, just barely misses the target and rings the iron.
LF: It keeps things interesting though! 2-2 after two events. There are a lot of young fans in here right now having a great time, meeting the players and getting a competitive event. That's what it's all about!
DC: Well, now we shift our attention to the Fastest Skater competition! This one's a real fan favourite. Each player will get two attempts with only their best lap counting. As with the other events, one point goes to the team with the winning player and one to the overall winning team.
 
Let's meet the competitors for the Fastest Skater:
Jacob Stone (Malmo) @scoop-- 92 SK, 6'6 222
Daryl Dixon (Helsinki) @Ricer13 -- 90 SK, 5'10 170
Liv Slater (Vancouver) @Subject056 -- 88 SK, 5'9 148
The Frenchman (DC) @OrbitingDeath -- 90 SK, 5'11 170
 
ATTEMPT 1:
Jacob Stone: 17.206 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.069 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.401 seconds / The Frenchman: 15.209 seconds
 
DC: Jacob Stone might be the guy with the best top-end speed here but had some trouble with one of the corners and couldn't get it back together. Daryl Dixon had a lightning-quick lap with a real competitive time and it looked like The Frenchman just didn't get up to speed in time, they're capable of better, but let's see how this second run goes!
 
ATTEMPT 2:
Jacob Stone: 14.854 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.312 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.188 seconds / The Frenchman: 14.552 seconds
FINAL RESULTS:
Jacob Stone: 14.854 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.069 seconds / EU Total: 28.923 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.188 seconds / The Frenchman: 14.552 seconds / NA Total: 28.740 seconds
 
LF: Well, that was exciting! All four players really flew around the rink on that one. Three of them improved on their times.
DC: But ultimately nobody touches Daryl Dixon's first lap here! 14.069 is an excellent time. Liv Slater gave it a really good run, their acceleration and agility was clearly on display. The team score is very close here but it looks like the NA will take that point, countering the point Dixon gets for the EU.
LF: So we have a 3-3 tie! But now we get to the real good part...
DC: It's time for the Shootout competition! Each player will take two shootout attempts on the opposing netminder. One point is awarded for each goal scored!
 
Let's meet the players:
AK92 Wit da Hoodie (Riga) @hedgehog337 -- 94 PH, 78 PS
Left Alone (Moscow) @okochastar -- 90 PH, 80 PS
Alfred Champagne (Warsaw) @Anthique -- 88 PH, 78 PS
EU Goaltender: Fuukka Rask (Helsinki) @Jubis -- 64 PS
 
Skor McFleury (Calgary) @Alex -- 94 PH, 78 PS
Severus Targaryen (Seattle) @Banackock -- 85 PH, 74 PS
Mac Atlas (Toronto) @v.2  -- 92 PH, 80 PS
NA Goaltender: Art Vandelay (Los Angeles) @Gustav  -- 55 PS
 
DC: Coming in for their first attempt it's the VHL's current leading scorer, AK92 Wit da Hoodie.
LF: 30 goals and 62 points in 39 games so far this year, those are stunning numbers. You know they can put the puck in the net.
DC: A lovely little forehand-backhand move there and Vandelay is caught out of position! Chalk up a goal for the EU there!
And trying to match that now will be Skor McFleury of the Calgary Wranglers. McFleury comes in with speed and a flurry of moves!
LF: I see what you did there.
DC: He puts it past Rask and our score is now 4-4! Back to the EU Conference's turn, it's Left Alone. He skates in, toe drag, a great little move but Vandelay stones him! An excellent blocker save from Vandelay!
LF: So the North American Conference will have a chance to take the lead here. Severus Targaryen, second-year pro from the Seattle Bears will take the shot.
DC: It looks like he bobbles the puck here a bit picking it up but makes a nice recovery, walks in, takes the puck to the backhand but puts it wide.
LF: Rask gave him no room there, he tracked the puck really well all the way across. Targaryen was looking for whatever little space was there but there wasn't any.
DC: Alfred Champagne, the Warsaw representative here, will get a chance now. He skates in, fires a quick shot but it looks like Vandelay was ready for that one all the way.
Now we have Mac Atlas to take the shot. He's got Rask on his heels as he comes in fast, takes a shot and oh my! He scores! That shot couldn't have been placed any better.
LF: No chance for the goalie there, that's why Atlas has back-to-back 40-goal seasons.
DC: North America has a 5-4 lead here. We'll go in reverse order for the second try, so it's right back to Atlas. He's got the moves this time! Takes it out wide, comes back in, backhand-forehand-backhand and a lovely finish - that's two magnificent goals from Atlas. That one's really got the crowd going.
LF: And North America has a 6-4 edge. Champagne is back out to try to narrow the gap.
DC: Ohhhh and he wires it off the crossbar! A more promising effort than the first one but Champagne can't quite bulge the twine. It's a chance for the North American team to take a stranglehold here and Targaryen comes back out.
Targaryen comes in quick and - oh! Would you look at that, he tries to go between the legs and that would've been something magical but Rask wasn't fooled.
LF: A good job by Rask of staying in position with the fancy move happening right in front of him.
DC: Left Alone, driving out wide to the left side of the ice and now he slows it down as he cuts back in, fires and scores!
LF: Alone catches Vandelay here by changing the angle and beats him low blocker with a well-placed wrister. The lead is back down to one, it's 6-5 for North America.
DC: Skor McFleury coming back in here. Flying out wide, now cutting all the way back across the circles and he slides the puck through Rask!
LF: McFleury is so smooth out there, not hard to tell why he's one of the best defensemen in the league. He probably would've had a chance in the Fastest Skater and he put that speed to good use there, really put Rask in a bad spot.
DC: AK92 Wit da Hoodie is hoping to keep the lead at one before we get into the Breakaway Relay. He pulls up at the dots and tries a slapshot! And it works! Oh, the fans love that. He caught Vandelay off guard by going for the slapper there.
LF: And it was a heck of a shot, too! What a rocket.
DC: So with that, we have a 7-6 score in the skills comp. And we've got one final event to decide it all! It's the 3-on-0 Breakaway Relay. Teams of 2 forwards and 1 defenseman will take three 3-on-0 attempts against the opposing netminder, with one point awarded for each goal scored.
 
Here are the Breakaway Relay lineups!
Yaroslav Bogatyrev (Malmo) @Bojovnik-- 85 SK, 87 PH, 69 PA, 89 SC
Leonard Triller (London) @Triller-- 91 SK, 94 PH, 94 PA, 83 SC
Pierre Emile Bouchard (Helsinki) @Gaikoku-hito -- 84 SK, 91 PH, 85 PA, 87 SC
EU Goaltender: Lachlan Summers (Davos) @kirbithan
 
Francesco Mancini (New York) @GioSivo -- 87 SK, 86 PH, 91 PA, 86 SC
Yaroslav Trunov (Chicago) @qripll -- 80 SK, 88 PH, 67 PA, 85 SC
Mark Calaway (DC) @Beketov -- 87 SK, 90 PH, 68 PA, 90 SC
NA Goaltender: Merome Dilson (Calgary) @MexicanCow123
 
DC: And here we go! Triller picks the puck up at centre for Europe and he comes in fast! Pass to Bouchard, who one-touches it back to Triller, and oh my! He pulls Dilson out of position beautifully and sends a magnificant feed to Bogatyrev. That's a tap-in for Big Boga and our skills comp is tied.
LF: Triller led the league in assists last year and he's one of the most crafty players in a league where shooters get a lot of the attention. That right there is what a great playmaker can do!
DC: Mark Calaway moves the puck ahead to Trunov here and the NA team is in on Lachlan Summers. Trunov passes off to Mancini, he throws it back to Calaway who fakes a shot, passes back to Trunov, but the pass is a bit off and bounces away from Trunov, an unfortunate break there.
It looks like the EU is sticking with what's working as Triller picks the puck up with speed and flies over the line. Throws on the breaks and gives the puck to Bogatyrev, he sends it back to Bouchard and Bouchard rips the shot home! Suddenly, Europe has taken the lead!
LF: Nothing like a good back-and-forth competition!
DC: This time Mancini will run the play for North America. He fakes a shot and passes to Trunov who hesitates, drops it back for Calaway and he lets a rocket go! It's off the post and into the back of the net!
LF: Calaway is one of those guys with a great shot from the back end and he shows it off there. No defending that one!
DC: So, the teams are tied and we have one attempt each left.
LF: Oh, the drama! You know, it's just a skills competition but these guys are competitors. They don't want to lose, especially when it gets to the end and it's this close.
DC: Triller with a little razzle-dazzle as he puts on a spin move as he picks the puck up! He passes it to Bouchard, to Bogatyrev, back to Bouchard and back to Triller for the finish! Brilliant passing and the European Conference goes up 9-8!
LF: That right there is why a 3-on-0 is a goalie's worst nightmare. There's nothing Dilson can do about that. I talked about that Calaway shot earlier being impossible to defend, but this play here is just another level entirely.
DC: It's a must-score situation for the NA trio and Trunov picks the puck up. He runs a little give-and-go with Calaway, moves it over to Mancini. Mancini tries a move and OH NO! He lifts it just a shade over the net! Mancini had Summers beat but gets a bit too much on it.
LF: That was an excellent move and Summers here goes for the poke check, Mancini just gets around him, this probably should be a goal but he just got a little too excited there and skies it! What a finish.
DC: That's a tough one for Mancini, but at the end of the day, this event was for the fans and hey, they got their money's worth! A dazzling display of skills from the VHL's most talented players and a thrilling scoreline overall. Congrats to Team Europe for ultimately grabbing the 9-8 win - we hope you enjoyed the show!
 
---
 
2484 words so claiming for the next 4 weeks

Note beforehand: I selected players for this based on appropriate ratings, not stats - so it's entirely possible some of the players here are not having all-star calibre seasons, or players who deserve to be at the all-star game were not selected. Also, I made sure every team had at least one player in the skills comp, and the results were determined relatively randomly with some consideration given to the appropriate ratings... I didn't use any kind of script or anything for this. It's all just made up.
 
---
 
DC: Welcome to Los Angeles for the VHL All-Star Skills Competition! I'm Dan Callaghan for VSN and with me today is Landon Fairhaven. With players from each of the VHL's 16 teams in attendance competing for the All-Star Cup, testing their skills in a variety of different competitions, let's get right into the fun times!
LF: First up, we have the Hardest Shot competition. Competitors will get two attempts each and only the best will count. One point will go to the team with the winning player and one point will go to the overall winning team.
 
Your competitors for the Hardest Shot are:
John Jameson (Prague) @Frank-- 97 ST, 89 SC, 6'3 215
Wann Kerr (London) @VattghernCZ -- 99 ST, 88 SC, 5'9 189
Todd Cooke (Los Angeles) @KRZY-- 99 ST, 89 SC, 6'6 190
Jimi Jaks (Toronto) @ke1vi -- 99 ST, 90 SC, 6'0 190
 
ATTEMPT 1:
John Jameson 96.4 MPH / Wann Kerr 97.2 MPH
Todd Cooke 99.7 MPH / Jimi Jaks 81.4 MPH
 
DC: Well, Landon, three pretty good efforts there and then it looked like Jimi Jaks didn't get much on their attempt, but fortunately, they will all get another crack at it.
LF: Todd Cooke is probably the favourite in this event and got a pretty good blast off there! They'll be tough to beat. They're so strong and that 6'6 frame can really get a lot of leverage to rip a puck. Let's see what happens.
 
ATTEMPT 2:
John Jameson 98.5 MPH / Wann Kerr 95.4 MPH
Todd Cooke 100.1 MPH / Jimi Jaks 99.2 MPH
FINAL RESULTS:
John Jameson 98.5 MPH / Wann Kerr 97.2 MPH / EU Total: 195.7 MPH
Todd Cooke 100.1 MPH / Jimi Jaks 99.2 MPH / NA Total: 199.3 MPH
 
DC: You called it Landon - Todd Cooke comes through and even gives us a triple-digit blast. And his teammate Jimi Jaks is going to come in second here after a much better shot! That puts the North American Conference up 2-0 after the first event.
 
Next up, we've got the Accuracy Shooting competition! Players will shoot until they hit all 4 targets. One point will go to the team with the winning player and one point to the overall winning team.
 
Your competitors for Accuracy Shooting are:
Molly the Cat (London) @JCarson -- 92 SC, 91 WS
Nikolas Kauppi (Prague) @Tetricide -- 88 SC, 90 WS
EU Conference Passer: Babay Shrimp (Riga) @Blazzer (91 PA)

Jason (DC) @Jason kranz -- 90 SC, 91 WS
Napoleon Dynamite (Los Angeles) @thadthrasher -- 88 SC, 93 WS)
NA Conference Passer: Randy Bobandy (Calgary) @AJW (89 PA)
 
RESULTS:
Molly the Cat: 4 for 4, 9.1 seconds
Nikolas Kauppi: 4 for 6, 15.5 seconds
EU Total: 8 for 10, 24.6 seconds
 
Jason: 4 for 5, 13.2 seconds
Napoleon Dynamite: 4 for 6, 14.2 seconds
NA Total: 8 for 11, 27.4 seconds
 
LF: Molly the Cat shows off the quick release on their wrist shot AND their deadly accuracy with a very impressive 4 for 4, and in just 9.1 seconds - a fantastic performance!
DC: The EU ties up the Skills Comp as they grab the team point for this one, too. It was a good performance by Jason here but this one shot here, their fourth attempt, just barely misses the target and rings the iron.
LF: It keeps things interesting though! 2-2 after two events. There are a lot of young fans in here right now having a great time, meeting the players and getting a competitive event. That's what it's all about!
DC: Well, now we shift our attention to the Fastest Skater competition! This one's a real fan favourite. Each player will get two attempts with only their best lap counting. As with the other events, one point goes to the team with the winning player and one to the overall winning team.
 
Let's meet the competitors for the Fastest Skater:
Jacob Stone (Malmo) @scoop-- 92 SK, 6'6 222
Daryl Dixon (Helsinki) @Ricer13 -- 90 SK, 5'10 170
Liv Slater (Vancouver) @Subject056 -- 88 SK, 5'9 148
The Frenchman (DC) @OrbitingDeath -- 90 SK, 5'11 170
 
ATTEMPT 1:
Jacob Stone: 17.206 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.069 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.401 seconds / The Frenchman: 15.209 seconds
 
DC: Jacob Stone might be the guy with the best top-end speed here but had some trouble with one of the corners and couldn't get it back together. Daryl Dixon had a lightning-quick lap with a real competitive time and it looked like The Frenchman just didn't get up to speed in time, they're capable of better, but let's see how this second run goes!
 
ATTEMPT 2:
Jacob Stone: 14.854 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.312 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.188 seconds / The Frenchman: 14.552 seconds
FINAL RESULTS:
Jacob Stone: 14.854 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.069 seconds / EU Total: 28.923 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.188 seconds / The Frenchman: 14.552 seconds / NA Total: 28.740 seconds
 
LF: Well, that was exciting! All four players really flew around the rink on that one. Three of them improved on their times.
DC: But ultimately nobody touches Daryl Dixon's first lap here! 14.069 is an excellent time. Liv Slater gave it a really good run, their acceleration and agility was clearly on display. The team score is very close here but it looks like the NA will take that point, countering the point Dixon gets for the EU.
LF: So we have a 3-3 tie! But now we get to the real good part...
DC: It's time for the Shootout competition! Each player will take two shootout attempts on the opposing netminder. One point is awarded for each goal scored!
 
Let's meet the players:
AK92 Wit da Hoodie (Riga) @hedgehog337 -- 94 PH, 78 PS
Left Alone (Moscow) @okochastar -- 90 PH, 80 PS
Alfred Champagne (Warsaw) @Anthique -- 88 PH, 78 PS
EU Goaltender: Fuukka Rask (Helsinki) @Jubis -- 64 PS
 
Skor McFleury (Calgary) @Alex -- 94 PH, 78 PS
Severus Targaryen (Seattle) @Banackock -- 85 PH, 74 PS
Mac Atlas (Toronto) @v.2  -- 92 PH, 80 PS
NA Goaltender: Art Vandelay (Los Angeles) @Gustav  -- 55 PS
 
DC: Coming in for their first attempt it's the VHL's current leading scorer, AK92 Wit da Hoodie.
LF: 30 goals and 62 points in 39 games so far this year, those are stunning numbers. You know they can put the puck in the net.
DC: A lovely little forehand-backhand move there and Vandelay is caught out of position! Chalk up a goal for the EU there!
And trying to match that now will be Skor McFleury of the Calgary Wranglers. McFleury comes in with speed and a flurry of moves!
LF: I see what you did there.
DC: He puts it past Rask and our score is now 4-4! Back to the EU Conference's turn, it's Left Alone. He skates in, toe drag, a great little move but Vandelay stones him! An excellent blocker save from Vandelay!
LF: So the North American Conference will have a chance to take the lead here. Severus Targaryen, second-year pro from the Seattle Bears will take the shot.
DC: It looks like he bobbles the puck here a bit picking it up but makes a nice recovery, walks in, takes the puck to the backhand but puts it wide.
LF: Rask gave him no room there, he tracked the puck really well all the way across. Targaryen was looking for whatever little space was there but there wasn't any.
DC: Alfred Champagne, the Warsaw representative here, will get a chance now. He skates in, fires a quick shot but it looks like Vandelay was ready for that one all the way.
Now we have Mac Atlas to take the shot. He's got Rask on his heels as he comes in fast, takes a shot and oh my! He scores! That shot couldn't have been placed any better.
LF: No chance for the goalie there, that's why Atlas has back-to-back 40-goal seasons.
DC: North America has a 5-4 lead here. We'll go in reverse order for the second try, so it's right back to Atlas. He's got the moves this time! Takes it out wide, comes back in, backhand-forehand-backhand and a lovely finish - that's two magnificent goals from Atlas. That one's really got the crowd going.
LF: And North America has a 6-4 edge. Champagne is back out to try to narrow the gap.
DC: Ohhhh and he wires it off the crossbar! A more promising effort than the first one but Champagne can't quite bulge the twine. It's a chance for the North American team to take a stranglehold here and Targaryen comes back out.
Targaryen comes in quick and - oh! Would you look at that, he tries to go between the legs and that would've been something magical but Rask wasn't fooled.
LF: A good job by Rask of staying in position with the fancy move happening right in front of him.
DC: Left Alone, driving out wide to the left side of the ice and now he slows it down as he cuts back in, fires and scores!
LF: Alone catches Vandelay here by changing the angle and beats him low blocker with a well-placed wrister. The lead is back down to one, it's 6-5 for North America.
DC: Skor McFleury coming back in here. Flying out wide, now cutting all the way back across the circles and he slides the puck through Rask!
LF: McFleury is so smooth out there, not hard to tell why he's one of the best defensemen in the league. He probably would've had a chance in the Fastest Skater and he put that speed to good use there, really put Rask in a bad spot.
DC: AK92 Wit da Hoodie is hoping to keep the lead at one before we get into the Breakaway Relay. He pulls up at the dots and tries a slapshot! And it works! Oh, the fans love that. He caught Vandelay off guard by going for the slapper there.
LF: And it was a heck of a shot, too! What a rocket.
DC: So with that, we have a 7-6 score in the skills comp. And we've got one final event to decide it all! It's the 3-on-0 Breakaway Relay. Teams of 2 forwards and 1 defenseman will take three 3-on-0 attempts against the opposing netminder, with one point awarded for each goal scored.
 
Here are the Breakaway Relay lineups!
Yaroslav Bogatyrev (Malmo) @Bojovnik-- 85 SK, 87 PH, 69 PA, 89 SC
Leonard Triller (London) @Triller-- 91 SK, 94 PH, 94 PA, 83 SC
Pierre Emile Bouchard (Helsinki) @Gaikoku-hito -- 84 SK, 91 PH, 85 PA, 87 SC
EU Goaltender: Lachlan Summers (Davos) @kirbithan
 
Francesco Mancini (New York) @GioSivo -- 87 SK, 86 PH, 91 PA, 86 SC
Yaroslav Trunov (Chicago) @qripll -- 80 SK, 88 PH, 67 PA, 85 SC
Mark Calaway (DC) @Beketov -- 87 SK, 90 PH, 68 PA, 90 SC
NA Goaltender: Merome Dilson (Calgary) @MexicanCow123
 
DC: And here we go! Triller picks the puck up at centre for Europe and he comes in fast! Pass to Bouchard, who one-touches it back to Triller, and oh my! He pulls Dilson out of position beautifully and sends a magnificant feed to Bogatyrev. That's a tap-in for Big Boga and our skills comp is tied.
LF: Triller led the league in assists last year and he's one of the most crafty players in a league where shooters get a lot of the attention. That right there is what a great playmaker can do!
DC: Mark Calaway moves the puck ahead to Trunov here and the NA team is in on Lachlan Summers. Trunov passes off to Mancini, he throws it back to Calaway who fakes a shot, passes back to Trunov, but the pass is a bit off and bounces away from Trunov, an unfortunate break there.
It looks like the EU is sticking with what's working as Triller picks the puck up with speed and flies over the line. Throws on the breaks and gives the puck to Bogatyrev, he sends it back to Bouchard and Bouchard rips the shot home! Suddenly, Europe has taken the lead!
LF: Nothing like a good back-and-forth competition!
DC: This time Mancini will run the play for North America. He fakes a shot and passes to Trunov who hesitates, drops it back for Calaway and he lets a rocket go! It's off the post and into the back of the net!
LF: Calaway is one of those guys with a great shot from the back end and he shows it off there. No defending that one!
DC: So, the teams are tied and we have one attempt each left.
LF: Oh, the drama! You know, it's just a skills competition but these guys are competitors. They don't want to lose, especially when it gets to the end and it's this close.
DC: Triller with a little razzle-dazzle as he puts on a spin move as he picks the puck up! He passes it to Bouchard, to Bogatyrev, back to Bouchard and back to Triller for the finish! Brilliant passing and the European Conference goes up 9-8!
LF: That right there is why a 3-on-0 is a goalie's worst nightmare. There's nothing Dilson can do about that. I talked about that Calaway shot earlier being impossible to defend, but this play here is just another level entirely.
DC: It's a must-score situation for the NA trio and Trunov picks the puck up. He runs a little give-and-go with Calaway, moves it over to Mancini. Mancini tries a move and OH NO! He lifts it just a shade over the net! Mancini had Summers beat but gets a bit too much on it.
LF: That was an excellent move and Summers here goes for the poke check, Mancini just gets around him, this probably should be a goal but he just got a little too excited there and skies it! What a finish.
DC: That's a tough one for Mancini, but at the end of the day, this event was for the fans and hey, they got their money's worth! A dazzling display of skills from the VHL's most talented players and a thrilling scoreline overall. Congrats to Team Europe for ultimately grabbing the 9-8 win - we hope you enjoyed the show!
 
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Note beforehand: I selected players for this based on appropriate ratings, not stats - so it's entirely possible some of the players here are not having all-star calibre seasons, or players who deserve to be at the all-star game were not selected. Also, I made sure every team had at least one player in the skills comp, and the results were determined relatively randomly with some consideration given to the appropriate ratings... I didn't use any kind of script or anything for this. It's all just made up.
 
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DC: Welcome to Los Angeles for the VHL All-Star Skills Competition! I'm Dan Callaghan for VSN and with me today is Landon Fairhaven. With players from each of the VHL's 16 teams in attendance competing for the All-Star Cup, testing their skills in a variety of different competitions, let's get right into the fun times!
LF: First up, we have the Hardest Shot competition. Competitors will get two attempts each and only the best will count. One point will go to the team with the winning player and one point will go to the overall winning team.
 
Your competitors for the Hardest Shot are:
John Jameson (Prague) @Frank-- 97 ST, 89 SC, 6'3 215
Wann Kerr (London) @VattghernCZ -- 99 ST, 88 SC, 5'9 189
Todd Cooke (Los Angeles) @KRZY-- 99 ST, 89 SC, 6'6 190
Jimi Jaks (Toronto) @ke1vi -- 99 ST, 90 SC, 6'0 190
 
ATTEMPT 1:
John Jameson 96.4 MPH / Wann Kerr 97.2 MPH
Todd Cooke 99.7 MPH / Jimi Jaks 81.4 MPH
 
DC: Well, Landon, three pretty good efforts there and then it looked like Jimi Jaks didn't get much on their attempt, but fortunately, they will all get another crack at it.
LF: Todd Cooke is probably the favourite in this event and got a pretty good blast off there! They'll be tough to beat. They're so strong and that 6'6 frame can really get a lot of leverage to rip a puck. Let's see what happens.
 
ATTEMPT 2:
John Jameson 98.5 MPH / Wann Kerr 95.4 MPH
Todd Cooke 100.1 MPH / Jimi Jaks 99.2 MPH
FINAL RESULTS:
John Jameson 98.5 MPH / Wann Kerr 97.2 MPH / EU Total: 195.7 MPH
Todd Cooke 100.1 MPH / Jimi Jaks 99.2 MPH / NA Total: 199.3 MPH
 
DC: You called it Landon - Todd Cooke comes through and even gives us a triple-digit blast. And his teammate Jimi Jaks is going to come in second here after a much better shot! That puts the North American Conference up 2-0 after the first event.
 
Next up, we've got the Accuracy Shooting competition! Players will shoot until they hit all 4 targets. One point will go to the team with the winning player and one point to the overall winning team.
 
Your competitors for Accuracy Shooting are:
Molly the Cat (London) @JCarson -- 92 SC, 91 WS
Nikolas Kauppi (Prague) @Tetricide -- 88 SC, 90 WS
EU Conference Passer: Babay Shrimp (Riga) @Blazzer (91 PA)

Jason (DC) @Jason kranz -- 90 SC, 91 WS
Napoleon Dynamite (Los Angeles) @thadthrasher -- 88 SC, 93 WS)
NA Conference Passer: Randy Bobandy (Calgary) @AJW (89 PA)
 
RESULTS:
Molly the Cat: 4 for 4, 9.1 seconds
Nikolas Kauppi: 4 for 6, 15.5 seconds
EU Total: 8 for 10, 24.6 seconds
 
Jason: 4 for 5, 13.2 seconds
Napoleon Dynamite: 4 for 6, 14.2 seconds
NA Total: 8 for 11, 27.4 seconds
 
LF: Molly the Cat shows off the quick release on their wrist shot AND their deadly accuracy with a very impressive 4 for 4, and in just 9.1 seconds - a fantastic performance!
DC: The EU ties up the Skills Comp as they grab the team point for this one, too. It was a good performance by Jason here but this one shot here, their fourth attempt, just barely misses the target and rings the iron.
LF: It keeps things interesting though! 2-2 after two events. There are a lot of young fans in here right now having a great time, meeting the players and getting a competitive event. That's what it's all about!
DC: Well, now we shift our attention to the Fastest Skater competition! This one's a real fan favourite. Each player will get two attempts with only their best lap counting. As with the other events, one point goes to the team with the winning player and one to the overall winning team.
 
Let's meet the competitors for the Fastest Skater:
Jacob Stone (Malmo) @scoop-- 92 SK, 6'6 222
Daryl Dixon (Helsinki) @Ricer13 -- 90 SK, 5'10 170
Liv Slater (Vancouver) @Subject056 -- 88 SK, 5'9 148
The Frenchman (DC) @OrbitingDeath -- 90 SK, 5'11 170
 
ATTEMPT 1:
Jacob Stone: 17.206 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.069 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.401 seconds / The Frenchman: 15.209 seconds
 
DC: Jacob Stone might be the guy with the best top-end speed here but had some trouble with one of the corners and couldn't get it back together. Daryl Dixon had a lightning-quick lap with a real competitive time and it looked like The Frenchman just didn't get up to speed in time, they're capable of better, but let's see how this second run goes!
 
ATTEMPT 2:
Jacob Stone: 14.854 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.312 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.188 seconds / The Frenchman: 14.552 seconds
FINAL RESULTS:
Jacob Stone: 14.854 seconds / Daryl Dixon: 14.069 seconds / EU Total: 28.923 seconds
Liv Slater: 14.188 seconds / The Frenchman: 14.552 seconds / NA Total: 28.740 seconds
 
LF: Well, that was exciting! All four players really flew around the rink on that one. Three of them improved on their times.
DC: But ultimately nobody touches Daryl Dixon's first lap here! 14.069 is an excellent time. Liv Slater gave it a really good run, their acceleration and agility was clearly on display. The team score is very close here but it looks like the NA will take that point, countering the point Dixon gets for the EU.
LF: So we have a 3-3 tie! But now we get to the real good part...
DC: It's time for the Shootout competition! Each player will take two shootout attempts on the opposing netminder. One point is awarded for each goal scored!
 
Let's meet the players:
AK92 Wit da Hoodie (Riga) @hedgehog337 -- 94 PH, 78 PS
Left Alone (Moscow) @okochastar -- 90 PH, 80 PS
Alfred Champagne (Warsaw) @Anthique -- 88 PH, 78 PS
EU Goaltender: Fuukka Rask (Helsinki) @Jubis -- 64 PS
 
Skor McFleury (Calgary) @Alex -- 94 PH, 78 PS
Severus Targaryen (Seattle) @Banackock -- 85 PH, 74 PS
Mac Atlas (Toronto) @v.2  -- 92 PH, 80 PS
NA Goaltender: Art Vandelay (Los Angeles) @Gustav  -- 55 PS
 
DC: Coming in for their first attempt it's the VHL's current leading scorer, AK92 Wit da Hoodie.
LF: 30 goals and 62 points in 39 games so far this year, those are stunning numbers. You know they can put the puck in the net.
DC: A lovely little forehand-backhand move there and Vandelay is caught out of position! Chalk up a goal for the EU there!
And trying to match that now will be Skor McFleury of the Calgary Wranglers. McFleury comes in with speed and a flurry of moves!
LF: I see what you did there.
DC: He puts it past Rask and our score is now 4-4! Back to the EU Conference's turn, it's Left Alone. He skates in, toe drag, a great little move but Vandelay stones him! An excellent blocker save from Vandelay!
LF: So the North American Conference will have a chance to take the lead here. Severus Targaryen, second-year pro from the Seattle Bears will take the shot.
DC: It looks like he bobbles the puck here a bit picking it up but makes a nice recovery, walks in, takes the puck to the backhand but puts it wide.
LF: Rask gave him no room there, he tracked the puck really well all the way across. Targaryen was looking for whatever little space was there but there wasn't any.
DC: Alfred Champagne, the Warsaw representative here, will get a chance now. He skates in, fires a quick shot but it looks like Vandelay was ready for that one all the way.
Now we have Mac Atlas to take the shot. He's got Rask on his heels as he comes in fast, takes a shot and oh my! He scores! That shot couldn't have been placed any better.
LF: No chance for the goalie there, that's why Atlas has back-to-back 40-goal seasons.
DC: North America has a 5-4 lead here. We'll go in reverse order for the second try, so it's right back to Atlas. He's got the moves this time! Takes it out wide, comes back in, backhand-forehand-backhand and a lovely finish - that's two magnificent goals from Atlas. That one's really got the crowd going.
LF: And North America has a 6-4 edge. Champagne is back out to try to narrow the gap.
DC: Ohhhh and he wires it off the crossbar! A more promising effort than the first one but Champagne can't quite bulge the twine. It's a chance for the North American team to take a stranglehold here and Targaryen comes back out.
Targaryen comes in quick and - oh! Would you look at that, he tries to go between the legs and that would've been something magical but Rask wasn't fooled.
LF: A good job by Rask of staying in position with the fancy move happening right in front of him.
DC: Left Alone, driving out wide to the left side of the ice and now he slows it down as he cuts back in, fires and scores!
LF: Alone catches Vandelay here by changing the angle and beats him low blocker with a well-placed wrister. The lead is back down to one, it's 6-5 for North America.
DC: Skor McFleury coming back in here. Flying out wide, now cutting all the way back across the circles and he slides the puck through Rask!
LF: McFleury is so smooth out there, not hard to tell why he's one of the best defensemen in the league. He probably would've had a chance in the Fastest Skater and he put that speed to good use there, really put Rask in a bad spot.
DC: AK92 Wit da Hoodie is hoping to keep the lead at one before we get into the Breakaway Relay. He pulls up at the dots and tries a slapshot! And it works! Oh, the fans love that. He caught Vandelay off guard by going for the slapper there.
LF: And it was a heck of a shot, too! What a rocket.
DC: So with that, we have a 7-6 score in the skills comp. And we've got one final event to decide it all! It's the 3-on-0 Breakaway Relay. Teams of 2 forwards and 1 defenseman will take three 3-on-0 attempts against the opposing netminder, with one point awarded for each goal scored.
 
Here are the Breakaway Relay lineups!
Yaroslav Bogatyrev (Malmo) @Bojovnik-- 85 SK, 87 PH, 69 PA, 89 SC
Leonard Triller (London) @Triller-- 91 SK, 94 PH, 94 PA, 83 SC
Pierre Emile Bouchard (Helsinki) @Gaikoku-hito -- 84 SK, 91 PH, 85 PA, 87 SC
EU Goaltender: Lachlan Summers (Davos) @kirbithan
 
Francesco Mancini (New York) @GioSivo -- 87 SK, 86 PH, 91 PA, 86 SC
Yaroslav Trunov (Chicago) @qripll -- 80 SK, 88 PH, 67 PA, 85 SC
Mark Calaway (DC) @Beketov -- 87 SK, 90 PH, 68 PA, 90 SC
NA Goaltender: Merome Dilson (Calgary) @MexicanCow123
 
DC: And here we go! Triller picks the puck up at centre for Europe and he comes in fast! Pass to Bouchard, who one-touches it back to Triller, and oh my! He pulls Dilson out of position beautifully and sends a magnificant feed to Bogatyrev. That's a tap-in for Big Boga and our skills comp is tied.
LF: Triller led the league in assists last year and he's one of the most crafty players in a league where shooters get a lot of the attention. That right there is what a great playmaker can do!
DC: Mark Calaway moves the puck ahead to Trunov here and the NA team is in on Lachlan Summers. Trunov passes off to Mancini, he throws it back to Calaway who fakes a shot, passes back to Trunov, but the pass is a bit off and bounces away from Trunov, an unfortunate break there.
It looks like the EU is sticking with what's working as Triller picks the puck up with speed and flies over the line. Throws on the breaks and gives the puck to Bogatyrev, he sends it back to Bouchard and Bouchard rips the shot home! Suddenly, Europe has taken the lead!
LF: Nothing like a good back-and-forth competition!
DC: This time Mancini will run the play for North America. He fakes a shot and passes to Trunov who hesitates, drops it back for Calaway and he lets a rocket go! It's off the post and into the back of the net!
LF: Calaway is one of those guys with a great shot from the back end and he shows it off there. No defending that one!
DC: So, the teams are tied and we have one attempt each left.
LF: Oh, the drama! You know, it's just a skills competition but these guys are competitors. They don't want to lose, especially when it gets to the end and it's this close.
DC: Triller with a little razzle-dazzle as he puts on a spin move as he picks the puck up! He passes it to Bouchard, to Bogatyrev, back to Bouchard and back to Triller for the finish! Brilliant passing and the European Conference goes up 9-8!
LF: That right there is why a 3-on-0 is a goalie's worst nightmare. There's nothing Dilson can do about that. I talked about that Calaway shot earlier being impossible to defend, but this play here is just another level entirely.
DC: It's a must-score situation for the NA trio and Trunov picks the puck up. He runs a little give-and-go with Calaway, moves it over to Mancini. Mancini tries a move and OH NO! He lifts it just a shade over the net! Mancini had Summers beat but gets a bit too much on it.
LF: That was an excellent move and Summers here goes for the poke check, Mancini just gets around him, this probably should be a goal but he just got a little too excited there and skies it! What a finish.
DC: That's a tough one for Mancini, but at the end of the day, this event was for the fans and hey, they got their money's worth! A dazzling display of skills from the VHL's most talented players and a thrilling scoreline overall. Congrats to Team Europe for ultimately grabbing the 9-8 win - we hope you enjoyed the show!
 
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